Polyspora wrote:

SHUT THE UF CPAKXC ´=ASG-==F[ OPJUYHPUP

what

--------
indonesian child we all love

train

Nothing. I honestly can't think of a single thing.

You once were a stickman.

you have lots to learn, and lots more to love about life :>

i find you more "safe" than others on OT (idk how to say it, but im sure you know what im trying to say). the fact that you're capable of expressing how you feel simply makes me amazed because i struggle to express myself in the way that you do; i could only ever pray to have such writing skills.

aside from that, you are definitely a kind and understanding person, so keep doign that

my heart is warmed ;-; to think that someone feels safer when they're near me... i think that feeling has been a lot of what i hoped to cultivate, and i thank you for sharing it. i just hope that i havent made an empty platitude or a false promise, given how little i feel i ever really understand from people and their experience with living :')

i wonder if you benefit from transparency/sincerity in this sense... i currently prize being a little bit more emotionally open and transparent when possible, and more specifically, i want transparency and sincerity to be at the core of how i communicate, so... maybe that would be a little bit of why i might appear more safe? because i dont want to poison my interactions with a foreign sardonic bitterness or callous irony that disregards what people see and feel. those are perspectives through which our conversations are variably received and digested, and i want to nourish and feed them with the best information i can give, so that they can address it safely with the right headspace to give these conversations the care they might require

to return to you, although i recognize you would like to have been better with writing... i think your writing can sometimes be rather exceptional, especially here. it may not seem the most eloquent, but i personally believe it is as clear and compelling as it needs to be to communicate what you want, and i feel it demonstrates a kind of receptiveness and curiosity and openness you might carry toward any people you take interest in... which could prove to be a fruitful and healthy place to start :)

also, frozen fleeting heart <3

im not gonna lie, you also make me feel safe lol,,,
you're really good at what you do, and you're a very kind and curious person!! <3

children

college student, car enthusiast, visual code, dry irony, perceptibly "normal", reasonably moderate

thats fucked up I want my 100 lines description

i thought they were too long...? i felt like you wouldnt like them and stop halfway through and have to work for it all the time, and that sounds... exhausting... im not sure i should want to do that with you anymore

but if you mean it, then... i can try ^^;;

...

to add to what ive already shared about my time with you:

...well, i still feel guilty, i think. i feel like i havent yet expressed my acknowledgement of the effort you seem to be giving, like i havent really done your time the justice it deserved, or something... it looked to me like you invested a lot and couldnt get anything from it, and for that i feel sorry i wasnt more appreciative or receptive or willing to give more of myself in return. i didnt say enough, didnt share enough, wasnt decisive enough, wasnt direct enough, wasnt normal enough

i fear you a little bit, the interpretable duality of you appearing both callous and sweet, appearing both bluntly insensitive and yet cognitively empathetic, and yet it all feels so in-character. i frequently feel like i perceive distorted ideas of you that arent reflected in who you really are. you seem so assured in yourself, with a dry understated texture to you, wooden and plain but weathered in interesting little places that i dont recognize and dont really connect with that well yet

i imagine im not any better, i must appear rather unpredictable somewhere, being neurotic or paranoid or impractical at one moment, then appearing facetious or "polite" (even if i fully believe im sincere in my concern and curiosity), then being suddenly "fucked up" and callous and rude in my own way when im defensive/protective of myself or when oblivious to something

we are probably kind of complicated for each other. i feel lost, i dont understand what i want when im with you, and i dont understand if i should do something in particular, or... but then you seem so nice at other times, and i question myself

i dont know

Its not that I started appreciating the long walls of text, its just that its what makes you, you.

so the simple answer you gave me prior is just, empty. even if its not actually meaningless.

I didnt receive an achromalia answer when I was expecting one.

to be honest I kinda miss these walls of text, I dont think I've talked that deeply with someone for over 6 years.

things just dont feel that important nowadays, I'm just living and waiting for something to happen.

anyway that was a signature achromalia answer!!!!! thanks

mm, then i suppose i appear more real/authentic if im typing long paragraphs

i do like walls of text :) explorative depth is fulfilling for me to receive from people, and i love to give just as much, but i just... i guess im not always ready to give myself to all that many people

for me, things feel far too important, everything seems more meaningful and consequential than im ever able to account for, i care too much about things that dont conventionally matter nearly as much to people, i dont really move on or let go or do anything other than freeze in place and retreat from everything. and even then, even when i presumably could be doing something about those urgent things... i think i would say the same thing you have, that i also have just been living and waiting for something to happen

im not sure if that really reflects an objective reality about you or the world around us. not nearly as much as it could just mean that im not enough for the world around me, presumably because im not willing to "take responsibility" for myself and my agency and at least try

you seem more well-equipped at that, and so i seem to tentatively look up to you in that sense

i wish i fully understood what makes people so "colourful"

which isn't a thought specific to you, but it's something i find myself thinking a lot. for something more specific, i think you're unfair to yourself in regards to your ability (potential ability?), maybe as unfair as i am with myself at times (though i guess i can't really be sure?). you've got more going for yourself than you seem to think you do, is what i think i'm trying to say

I think if you rationalize why you feel what you feel and why you think what you think. You become aware of feelings and thoughts. Once you know yourself better, you will start to see others better. Of course, some actions and thoughts are not easily rationalized even by experts.

idk this guy

Asaiga wrote:

Once you know yourself better, you will start to see others better.

i'd hope so...

the "<3 Philosophical Psychology" checks out, i suppose

>>

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

trains?

Asaiga wrote:

I think if you rationalize why you feel what you feel and why you think what you think. You become aware of feelings and thoughts. Once you know yourself better, you will start to see others better. Of course, some actions and thoughts are not easily rationalized even by experts.

i still don't quite understand why i remember you... but i don't quite remember you enough to have anything to say in particular

i'm unsure how to evaluate i would add or respond with toward what you're saying, although it's entirely intelligible...

synthwavesquid wrote:

i wish i fully understood what makes people so "colourful"

which isn't a thought specific to you, but it's something i find myself thinking a lot. for something more specific, i think you're unfair to yourself in regards to your ability (potential ability?), maybe as unfair as i am with myself at times (though i guess i can't really be sure?). you've got more going for yourself than you seem to think you do, is what i think i'm trying to say

mm, i've wondered this before but often find the suggestion unconvincing (not to suggest i'm unconvinced as a result of a definitive or rational conclusion, i think i just don't feel as though everything has been resolved enough to clear any doubt) when that potential isnt reliably exercised, especially when i seem to not recognize what abilities i might have. if i dont have any clarity with who i am or what i can do, and if i dont trust myself without the certainty i look to cling to, then i wouldnt have known or proved to myself whether that imagined potential was ever really true. i'm also highly risk-averse, or at least seem to convince myself of it at inopportune and irrational fleeting moments on a whim, which tends to mean i don't even really try to do anything with myself to find out whether i am or am not capable of something...

...but in many cases, i have tried something, it just appears that i haven't tried "hard enough" or "long enough", or i haven't tried quite the right approach in order to see a fruitful outcome. this tends to happen with my art and music-- most of anything i create is stopped halfway somewhere in variably anemic conditions... songs last only 30 seconds, or art consists only of a partial sketch or ambiguous linework or blocked-in coloring or something...

or more distressingly, the art and music i try to make isnt even what i wanted to make to start with

i never seem to make what i want, and outside of creative contexts, i never seem to do what i want

...as for your query for "color"...

i don't think i know about that yet either. inquiries similar to yours were what i've fixated on, sampling and examining how people communicated their emotions and frustrations and how they developed logical arguments or otherwise expressed their perspectives (as well the sources and components of those perspectives), while also trying to examine my own expression and communication of "color". all of this was color i didn't fully understand, color which i didn't know how to identify and recognize for some time. but ultimately, there was some kind of chromaticism, and i wanted to understand how it composed me

i think it led to where i am now, increasingly anxious and pensive and sentimentally attached to particular ideals and comforts that i would've liked to indulge in. i don't really know how to characterize my chromatic sentimentality and rationale yet...

...

you were always a curiosity that i dont think i had a clear or confident impression of. you always seemed so beyond me, nebulously sitting somewhere outside my scope, where my focal points would always miss the point. and yet i wanted to watch and examine you from afar, not being perceived and not mutually engaging, completely leaving each other alone, sharing audiovisual psycho-semantic information indirectly between each other

but that's not possible to my awareness beyond the merest facsimile that words and collaborative rhetoric can offer, so i'm effectively blind to what you experience, and i can't really imagine what you see if i have to view it through my own lenses...

through your history with people in the forum, you seem entirely ok to me, a neutral benign party that i vaguely admire or otherwise seem to look up to

Pretty much someone I highly respect in the forums here. Your words may be text vomit but I like someone who expresses their thoughts and feelings like you do.

urgh i remember you from the stick era and i wish i remembered more... you always seemed so well-liked, and i think i appreciated your presence too...? but it's not clear to me

you seem ok :> probably a balance of maturely-respectable and comfortably-awkward traits? i dont know enough to actually conclude anything though, so i can only wish you well and hope you'll visit from time to time

Achromalia wrote:

text

synthwavesquid wrote:

i wish i fully understood what makes people so "colourful"

which isn't a thought specific to you, but it's something i find myself thinking a lot. for something more specific, i think you're unfair to yourself in regards to your ability (potential ability?), maybe as unfair as i am with myself at times (though i guess i can't really be sure?). you've got more going for yourself than you seem to think you do, is what i think i'm trying to say

mm, i've wondered this before but often find the suggestion unconvincing (not to suggest i'm unconvinced as a result of a definitive or rational conclusion, i think i just don't feel as though everything has been resolved enough to clear any doubt) when that potential isnt reliably exercised, especially when i seem to not recognize what abilities i might have. if i dont have any clarity with who i am or what i can do, and if i dont trust myself without the certainty i look to cling to, then i wouldnt have known or proved to myself whether that imagined potential was ever really true. i'm also highly risk-averse, or at least seem to convince myself of it at inopportune and irrational fleeting moments on a whim, which tends to mean i don't even really try to do anything with myself to find out whether i am or am not capable of something...

...but in many cases, i have tried something, it just appears that i haven't tried "hard enough" or "long enough", or i haven't tried quite the right approach in order to see a fruitful outcome. this tends to happen with my art and music-- most of anything i create is stopped halfway somewhere in variably anemic conditions... songs last only 30 seconds, or art consists only of a partial sketch or ambiguous linework or blocked-in coloring or something...

or more distressingly, the art and music i try to make isnt even what i wanted to make to start with

i never seem to make what i want, and outside of creative contexts, i never seem to do what i want

...as for your query for "color"...

i don't think i know about that yet either. inquiries similar to yours were what i've fixated on, sampling and examining how people communicated their emotions and frustrations and how they developed logical arguments or otherwise expressed their perspectives (as well the sources and components of those perspectives), while also trying to examine my own expression and communication of "color". all of this was color i didn't fully understand, color which i didn't know how to identify and recognize for some time. but ultimately, there was some kind of chromaticism, and i wanted to understand how it composed me

i think it led to where i am now, increasingly anxious and pensive and sentimentally attached to particular ideals and comforts that i would've liked to indulge in. i don't really know how to characterize my chromatic sentimentality and rationale yet...

...

you were always a curiosity that i dont think i had a clear or confident impression of. you always seemed so beyond me, nebulously sitting somewhere outside my scope, where my focal points would always miss the point. and yet i wanted to watch and examine you from afar, not being perceived and not mutually engaging, completely leaving each other alone, sharing audiovisual psycho-semantic information indirectly between each other

but that's not possible to my awareness beyond the merest facsimile that words and collaborative rhetoric can offer, so i'm effectively blind to what you experience, and i can't really imagine what you see if i have to view it through my own lenses...

through your history with people in the forum, you seem entirely ok to me, a neutral benign party that i vaguely admire or otherwise seem to look up to

i... actually expected that to be the case (maybe moreso "knew" some things), but i wasn't sure how to word anything so i kind of massively oversimplified my point, but i think you still got what i meant

despite all that, i definitely see something there. i don't know what it is, maybe because it hasn't come to fruition yet, but i take it both of us know i'm not saying it "just to be nice" or to feel good about myself. i guess whatever it is, it would take a lot of resolution/work/whatever to bring it out, maybe more than you can do at the moment. i don't know, but it doesn't seem to affect my view of you either way. i guess most i can say is that it's generally better to try to work with yourself rather than against, but that's way easier said than done

i feel like we might have more similarities than either of us realise. probably spotty, probably surface-level, though a part of me doesn't want it to be

idk, maybe he likes Synthwave ??

wow people really forgot this thread.

on topic: seems to be quite younger than me, just having this hunch

harhar, pink guy

Dr. Dze

Cool OT regular; should play the game some more to work on those goals listed on their profile.

i think i've seen this guy before?

unfortunately for you when it comes to this game it feels like people are quite hesitant to say what they truly think about you, i think that's a shame. it may be a case of wanting to be nice, maybe a bit of intimidation, or maybe just dont like you at all, and that wraps back to the first idea of being nice.

good attempts at being the best you can be tho, wish you the best

hachiroku fan club

idk who is dis

not poland

idk, rushia

dia indo

dia orang bangladesh

sanic

hes cool

and he's also cool

hes cool too

husbando

actual waifu

*hugs*

cool guy. *hug*

would call husbando too tbh

Isshiki Kaname wrote:

would call husbando too tbh

:flushed:

Kurashina Asuka fan

idk

Has nothing to say, should probably at least interact with me or check info on me.

A boy proposed to her shamelessly and she actually expressed interest.

Changed username to a heroine from hit eroge Select Oblige