I'll start
>be me
>around noon
>driving back home from the hospital
>arm still sore from getting vaccine shots (four on left arm)
>as I drive up to my street, drive past two Jehovah's Witnesses
>both male, wearing white shirts, glasses, and neckties, there is no school around here in a ten mile radius, must be them
>they're walking towards my house
>they're still far off, have time
>scheme
>arrive home
>open gate with clicker
>drive in
>waddle out of car
>don't get in yet, sit down by the door and wait
>disgunbegud.jpg
>five minutes pass
>ten minutes pass
>where the hell are they
>stick my head out of the gate to see where they are
>nowhere to be seen
>pull my head out
>I can't pull it out
>fuck
>stand there awkwardly for about a minute
>hear voices
>"...Yeah but the classes in the last block are so dull..."
>they're talking about education
>what the fuck why aren't you praising God or something
>they're wearing backpacks
>fuck no
>they notice me
>I awkwardly stand there, say nothing
>they keep walking
>mfw
>mfw I have no face
>five minutes later
>thinking about life and death now
>I'm glad there's a roof over my head otherwise the sun would piss me off
>notice the same guys knocking on the house in front of mine
>no success, though that makes sense since that house is full of drug dealers
>in light of their failure they come over to me
>I try to waddle away, but my head is still stuck
>they greet me
>I am not prepared for this
>smile and greet them back
>"what can I do for ya" I say
>they give me the story about their belief
>makes sense to me
>become friendly towards them
>lose all malicious intent in my soul
>ask them if they want donations
>I can't reach my wallet from here
>they chuckle and shake their heads side to side
>they give me a pamphlet and a handshake and leave
>pull my head out of the gate
>go home
>read pamphlet
>take out a watermelon
>cut watermelon
>eat watermelon
>type this story
What just happened
>be me
>around noon
>driving back home from the hospital
>arm still sore from getting vaccine shots (four on left arm)
>as I drive up to my street, drive past two Jehovah's Witnesses
>both male, wearing white shirts, glasses, and neckties, there is no school around here in a ten mile radius, must be them
>they're walking towards my house
>they're still far off, have time
>scheme
>arrive home
>open gate with clicker
>drive in
>waddle out of car
>don't get in yet, sit down by the door and wait
>disgunbegud.jpg
>five minutes pass
>ten minutes pass
>where the hell are they
>stick my head out of the gate to see where they are
>nowhere to be seen
>pull my head out
>I can't pull it out
>fuck
>stand there awkwardly for about a minute
>hear voices
>"...Yeah but the classes in the last block are so dull..."
>they're talking about education
>what the fuck why aren't you praising God or something
>they're wearing backpacks
>fuck no
>they notice me
>I awkwardly stand there, say nothing
>they keep walking
>mfw
>mfw I have no face
>five minutes later
>thinking about life and death now
>I'm glad there's a roof over my head otherwise the sun would piss me off
>notice the same guys knocking on the house in front of mine
>no success, though that makes sense since that house is full of drug dealers
>in light of their failure they come over to me
>I try to waddle away, but my head is still stuck
>they greet me
>I am not prepared for this
>smile and greet them back
>"what can I do for ya" I say
>they give me the story about their belief
>makes sense to me
>become friendly towards them
>lose all malicious intent in my soul
>ask them if they want donations
>I can't reach my wallet from here
>they chuckle and shake their heads side to side
>they give me a pamphlet and a handshake and leave
>pull my head out of the gate
>go home
>read pamphlet
>take out a watermelon
>cut watermelon
>eat watermelon
>type this story
What just happened