First of all, the offset does not need to be negative. It isn't unrankable or anything, but sounds are normally timed after the song has started (although, there are exceptions).
The timing is also a bit off. What I would do is change the offset from -686 to 664, since the metronome starts a bit later than the song.
Now, about the map itself: The patterns are messy and hard to read or get used to. For example, all objects in 00:03:220 (5,6,1) are snapped to 1/2. However, the space between 6 and 1 is kinda 'sudden' to the player. Considering this is Expert+, that wouldn't be much of a problem if 00:04:073 (2) was also snapped to 1/2, but instead is snapped to 1/4, which causes a problem in readability.
There are also many places where objects are spaced too far apart for their time to be hit. For example, 00:04:669 (4,1) are 85ms apart, and considering the space between themselves, it's pretty hard to hit both objects.
00:04:754 (1,2,3,4) is also practically unreadable.
The spacing is way too inconsistent in 00:09:186 (1,2,3,1,2,3,4,5,6,7) considering there is no change in the song. Many experienced mappers space their circles based on the intensity of the song and/or priority a specific sound has.
Most of the map after that is basically the same thing I just told you. Inconsistent spacing, readibility issues and flow (watch
this video for more information).
For a first map, it is not terribly awful considering it is decently timed and doesn't break many RC rules as a first map normally breaks (such as using 2B).