Achromalia wrote:

ah, i was ten seconds too late to finish my thoughts, at the cost of forty minutes of points

unfortunate

well, more time to elaborate then

ShinRun wrote:

It’s just your posts about waking up and sleeping at very different times throughout the day.

I live a very black and white life style, almost every day, I wake up around the same time, do the same thing and sleep around the same time due to jobs and responsibilities.

Forgive me for being rude but I just think this is a very wasteful way of living, this might be due to my mindset or upbringing but I find this very “pathetic”. Once again I’m sorry for being rude but this is just what I think.

entirely fair, i suspect/assume as much, and i've...

i've already internalized as much by now (exclusively for myself, since it feels much more uncomfortable/gross when i imagine asserting that kind of impression on anyone else) since there generally is never anything people view as useful or respectable in this. not that it would be asked that anyone ought to. to my awareness, if you suffer, at least suffering for money is considered a useful and respectable way to live-- at least if not for yourself, you can monetarily support your family, or the existing economy, all of which are commonly viewed as valuable. this fuels a variable amount of self-loathing in many people who haven't had income for one reason or another, and as i assume you might imagine, that perceived social/moral significance ironically discourages some of them from even trying to escape beyond mere subsistence, presumably creating self-fulfilling prophecies

unfortunately, the appearance and experience of being pathetic/wasteful doesn't seem to be particularly motivating or compelling enough. no matter how much force i place on myself with that in mind, i only stubbornly retreat into myself further. i imagine some people view those as lost causes, or as moral failures, or as deficiencies, or something

on the other hand, many people seem to moreso view it as disappointing, maybe not because of any conscious belief in any inherent "lack", but rather because in this view, humans near-universally have far more potential than they allow/cultivate from themselves. they can plainly examine the stories people like to tell of success, or perhaps simply take from day-to-day practical life narratives of the very people around them who themselves had Truly Hard Lives but were responsible and determined to change in some way. there's a notion of pragmatic hope for people to be better in that, or at least, an assumption that people factually can and morally/ethically ought to be better

taking from that can inform perspectives about those who "do not try" to be better, and a number of narratives have formed around those contexts not unlike refrains of "these people choose to fail and burden their families and fellow citizens and taxpayers, and so are therefore a drain on human society", and so on, to increasing extremes of rhetoric

people seem to loathe being asked to pity others for their circumstances. don't you hate when someone pities themselves and asks you to follow along with their self-destruction? don't you hate when they want you to care because they're making themselves think they're helpless? don't you hate when you're roped into their delusions so they can justify themselves? don't you hate when they take from the people who earned their wealth and safety? "they want luxuries without working for them", "we're here because we've only been enabling them and coddling them", et cetera

i'm bothered by those lines of thought only insofar as it has proven to hurt others, especially those who couldn't seem to bring themselves to do anything to substantively heal and grow. but i don't have anything personal against it-- well no, i do to some extent, but i repress it when possible since enabling that seems to be an uncomfortable nuisance for others and i prefer not to allow resentment when i can help it. this usually just means i'm numb, though

regardless of the motive for someone who views this as pathetic/wasteful, it only seems to serve as more paralyzing weight in the end. there exists more context to characterize why that inertia exists to begin with, as silly as the reasons may prove to be, in your eyes or the eyes of others

anyway, minimal-at-most offense taken, good luck at work, take care of others <3

...in hindsight, is this manipulative? it's hard for me to consistently recognize what my intentions are as well as the impact of my own actions-- my own behavior is a bit oblique and opaque to myself because of how i seem to compartmentalize (for lack of a better phrase, at the cost of gross inaccuracy or self-pathologizing) and generally dissociate from myself to some extent. most of this was sincere in my opinion, excluding the rhetorical questioning, but a belief of sincerity and a perceived lack of conscious resentment is not easily as representative of how people receive these things, nor does it reveal the true ingredients of what informed a given message. it seems like commentary on a topic of significance like this, when it has various implications like these, can be read as manipulative depending on its presentation and rhetoric... so i figured i should consider that

anyway

for everyone: hey y'all, have you had a good dinner? have you stayed hydrated? ^-^

Achromalia wrote:

ah, i was ten seconds too late to finish my thoughts, at the cost of forty minutes of points

unfortunate

well, more time to elaborate then

ShinRun wrote:

It’s just your posts about waking up and sleeping at very different times throughout the day.

I live a very black and white life style, almost every day, I wake up around the same time, do the same thing and sleep around the same time due to jobs and responsibilities.

Forgive me for being rude but I just think this is a very wasteful way of living, this might be due to my mindset or upbringing but I find this very “pathetic”. Once again I’m sorry for being rude but this is just what I think.

entirely fair, i suspect/assume as much, and i've...

i've already internalized as much by now (exclusively for myself, since it feels much more uncomfortable/gross when i imagine asserting that kind of impression on anyone else) since there generally is never anything people view as useful or respectable in this. not that it would be asked that anyone ought to. to my awareness, if you suffer, at least suffering for money is considered a useful and respectable way to live-- at least if not for yourself, you can monetarily support your family, or the existing economy, all of which are commonly viewed as valuable. this fuels a variable amount of self-loathing in many people who haven't had income for one reason or another, and as i assume you might imagine, that perceived social/moral significance ironically discourages some of them from even trying to escape beyond mere subsistence, presumably creating self-fulfilling prophecies

unfortunately, the appearance and experience of being pathetic/wasteful doesn't seem to be particularly motivating or compelling enough. no matter how much force i place on myself with that in mind, i only stubbornly retreat into myself further. i imagine some people view those as lost causes, or as moral failures, or as deficiencies, or something

on the other hand, many people seem to moreso view it as disappointing, maybe not because of any conscious belief in any inherent "lack", but rather because in this view, humans near-universally have far more potential than they allow/cultivate from themselves. they can plainly examine the stories people like to tell of success, or perhaps simply take from day-to-day practical life narratives of the very people around them who themselves had Truly Hard Lives but were responsible and determined to change in some way. there's a notion of pragmatic hope for people to be better in that, or at least, an assumption that people factually can and morally/ethically ought to be better

taking from that can inform perspectives about those who "do not try" to be better, and a number of narratives have formed around those contexts not unlike refrains of "these people choose to fail and burden their families and fellow citizens and taxpayers, and so are therefore a drain on human society", and so on, to increasing extremes of rhetoric

people seem to loathe being asked to pity others for their circumstances. don't you hate when someone pities themselves and asks you to follow along with their self-destruction? don't you hate when they want you to care because they're making themselves think they're helpless? don't you hate when you're roped into their delusions so they can justify themselves? don't you hate when they take from the people who earned their wealth and safety? "they want luxuries without working for them", "we're here because we've only been enabling them and coddling them", et cetera

i'm bothered by those lines of thought only insofar as it has proven to hurt others, especially those who couldn't seem to bring themselves to do anything to substantively heal and grow. but i don't have anything personal against it-- well no, i do to some extent, but i repress it when possible since enabling that seems to be an uncomfortable nuisance for others and i prefer not to allow resentment when i can help it. this usually just means i'm numb, though

regardless of the motive for someone who views this as pathetic/wasteful, it only seems to serve as more paralyzing weight in the end. there exists more context to characterize why that inertia exists to begin with, as silly as the reasons may prove to be, in your eyes or the eyes of others

anyway, minimal-at-most offense taken, good luck at work, take care of others <3

...in hindsight, is this manipulative? it's hard for me to consistently recognize what my intentions are as well as the impact of my own actions-- my own behavior is a bit oblique and opaque to myself because of how i seem to compartmentalize (for lack of a better phrase, at the cost of gross inaccuracy or self-pathologizing) and generally dissociate from myself to some extent. most of this was sincere in my opinion, excluding the rhetorical questioning, but a belief of sincerity and a perceived lack of conscious resentment is not easily as representative of how people receive these things, nor does it reveal the true ingredients of what informed a given message. it seems like commentary on a topic of significance like this, when it has various implications like these, can be read as manipulative depending on its presentation and rhetoric... so i figured i should consider that

anyway

for everyone: hey y'all, have you had a good dinner? have you stayed hydrated? ^-^

ShinRun wrote:

Not tryna block other post

Completely fair point even though I don't necessarily argue on this view. I respect that you don't ask for pity and sympathy for your own decisions.

I grew up mostly by myself and with my sister, lacking parental support and warmth for a good portion of my childhood and the time I do spend with them would be very mundane at best. As I grew up, I realized that I needed to work hard in order to be "loved". A twisted take that is certainly not the case but is what I believe to be as a child. I started helping out my parent at our family business before I even entered high school. I would worked tirelessly for hours on end in order to prove myself to both my parent and to myself, that I am loved and cared for.

I often looked on with envy at other kids; they played sports, video games and had sleepover yet I had none of the traits I thought normal kids would have. I often wanted to be like them, and I was jealous, but my situation and lifestyle was worlds apart from theirs.

Sometimes I wanted to escape my lifestyle, but as I grew older, I realized I had too much to lose. I couldn't just throw up the towel and stop working, I can't just take a portion of my schedule to start playing sports and I barely had time to play my favorite games. I realized that the only vision of myself was forward. I would be berated if I ever questioned myself or my decision so I decided not to.

At the same time, I became hateful. I hated those kids that could go to a good college without working any jobs, go party and live a great life. I looked down on them, telling myself that I am better since everything I ever had was built or earned by my own too hand. I would feel disgusted when I see a student just drinking, partying and having fun instead of working, studying and taking advantage of their resources to further themselves in life.

Thanks Achro, I really appreciated this conversation

lostsilver wrote:

IAMACROBA wrote:

haaiiii wags my tail

hello!! i was wondering i it's still okay to call you vi, or if you'd prefer something else

Achromalia wrote:

never let me hope for anything. i need to never be exposed to anything that might let me delude myself

a vivisection of me for all to see

IAMACROBA wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

never let me hope for anything. i need to never be exposed to anything that might let me delude myself

a vivisection of me for all to see

unbelievably relatable

Achromalia wrote:

never let me hope for anything. i need to never be exposed to anything that might let me delude myself

a vivisection of me for all to see

sametdze wrote:

but the free market's a scam!

reffty_gag wrote:

You always made me learnt new vocabulary

DRAMA: Lie, sire! It will be really funny, sire!

Isshiki Kaname wrote:

Guys, do you think I should keep an apology to 300 words or go above that?

lostsilver wrote:

ps!dave: "give me something silly about the haywalls."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' cute about the ashbluffs."
ps!expunged: "give me something sleepy about ps!bandu"
ps!bandu: "gimme something cute about ps!ex!!"

Achromalia wrote:

Isshiki Kaname wrote:

Guys, do you think I should keep an apology to 300 words or go above that?

im not very experienced with them, but really, what you ought to write probably depends on the purpose of your apology

it seems like it would be more about prioritizing the acknowledgment and correction of any behavior you've displayed, preferably also with clarifying questions about boundaries and requesting for whatever prevention methods your recipient might prefer so that you have an understanding of what to follow and avoid

it doesn't have to be formal, it can be casual (especially if the recipient prefers it this way anyway), but the general concept is to give someone reason to trust that you're listening and attempting to change...

...and then the really important part, change for real

tldr = word count sounds kind of irrelevant, it may be more about prioritizing whatever it is that matters to your recipient, just focus on that and elaborate however much you need to but cut out any excessive self-justification or self-narrativization or self-pity if that seems like something your recipient dislikes, and then do what you say you will ^^

...well, it may not be that simple, i don't understand what's needed myself, but i hope this possible approach is applicable and helpful to everyone involved

lostsilver wrote:

ps!dave: "give me something silly about the haywalls."
ps!bambi: "gimme somethin' cute about the ashbluffs."
ps!expunged: "give me something sleepy about ps!bandu"
ps!bandu: "gimme something cute about ps!ex!!"

for ps!dave: other funny shenanigans you've organized with the haywalls?
for ps!bambi: something adorable that the ashbluffs each showed you?

Indomi-chan wrote:

@reffty_gag any updates on ur pc?

storm the bermuda triangle, it can't drown us all

lostsilver wrote:

Achromalia wrote:

Isshiki Kaname wrote:

Guys, do you think I should keep an apology to 300 words or go above that?

im not very experienced with them, but really, what you ought to write probably depends on the purpose of your apology

it seems like it would be more about prioritizing the acknowledgment and correction of any behavior you've displayed, preferably also with clarifying questions about boundaries and requesting for whatever prevention methods your recipient might prefer so that you have an understanding of what to follow and avoid

it doesn't have to be formal, it can be casual (especially if the recipient prefers it this way anyway), but the general concept is to give someone reason to trust that you're listening and attempting to change...

...and then the really important part, change for real

tldr = word count sounds kind of irrelevant, it may be more about prioritizing whatever it is that matters to your recipient, just focus on that and elaborate however much you need to but cut out any excessive self-justification or self-narrativization or self-pity if that seems like something your recipient dislikes, and then do what you say you will ^^

...well, it may not be that simple, i don't understand what's needed myself, but i hope this possible approach is applicable and helpful to everyone involved

Isshiki Kaname wrote:

Thanks for your input. Well, I already wrote an apology and used it, it didn't result in much, but I'd still like to hear your input on it, if that's okay. I don't mind it going public now.
https://files.catbox.moe/6246l4.pdf

Achromalia wrote:

Isshiki Kaname wrote:

Thanks for your input. Well, I already wrote an apology and used it, it didn't result in much, but I'd still like to hear your input on it, if that's okay. I don't mind it going public now.
https://files.catbox.moe/6246l4.pdf

i'm not sure i have many substantive thoughts yet in this case, but

i'll try to note how i would view this if it was a hypothetical apology i would be making to someone else, as well as how it i would receive it if someone sent a similar apology to me :>

(still typing, but posting in the meantime to be safe)

for the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos:
breakfast and hydration check!! have a lovely day today <3

lostsilver wrote:

ps!expunged: "give me something sleepy about ps!bandu"
ps!bandu: "gimme something cute about ps!ex!!"

reffty_gag wrote:

Indomi-chan wrote:

@reffty_gag any updates on ur pc?

check the chat, also WE ARE SO BACKK

Achromalia wrote:

(still editing my response to that apology prompt, maybe i can quote it again when i'm done?)

lostsilver wrote:

ps!expunged: "give me something sleepy about ps!bandu"
ps!bandu: "gimme something cute about ps!ex!!"

for ps!expunged: have you had any memories of carrying ps!bandu to rest somewhere when you two were much younger?
for ps!bandu: something ps!ex did recently that was simply too precious for your heart to take?

Achromalia wrote:

i'm not sure i have many substantive thoughts yet in this case, but

if it were sent to me, my opinion would probably be mostly tentatively positive, and i would probably start out with some distance since i tend to be really selective with who i'm friends with... and the conditions of your scenario would probably cause me to be a little anxious, but i would still be forgiving enough to keep responding amicably, i would just be less vulnerable unless directly asked questions. although nobody has had to reconcile with me through formal written apologies, i have been apologized to sometimes, it's usually just a little messier. i always accepted them happily and sweetly in those cases because i liked/trusted the people i spoke with to begin with and/or never personally felt hurt by them... and also because i'm much more pliable to certain people, so i tend to be biased in their favor... ^-^;;

in terms of responsiveness to apologies or any scenario where you might imagine one to be applicable... anyone i start to not like is usually someone i grow colder with or stop actively interacting with, and apologies don't have many opportunities to surface once i've effectively steered that acquaintanceship toward a very quiet and anticlimactic end, meaning there's a lot less tension and significance for anyone to worry about attending to. depending on how i view someone, i may at least respond to their messages if they write any and if i don't completely fear them nor intend to avoid them, but in most cases people just don't message me at all, typically because they probably accept that distance or are no longer preoccupied with addressing me

anyway, it seems like the issues you were apologizing for were twofold-- you've sent nsfw images in a particularly sensitive and embarrassing social context at a time where it wasn't warranted due to neglectful inattention and complacence, and then you had been defensive/combative when aleron took issue with that

for those two introductory paragraphs...

from "okay, so. it’s me, katou, [...]" through to the beginning of the third paragraph during "my response to your reply was not the best, [...]", i would have probably silently/secretly been cautious due to how i interpret its delivery. although i read it as believable and presumably sincere, i would gradually have minor hangups with the presentation of phrases like

+ "okay, so. it's me. this is Yet Another Attempt at an apology to you" (okay, so, yet another attempt = this has connotations of a heavy sense of exhaustion, either with yourself or with having been writing the apologies themselves, but at the same time it almost seems haphazard at the start)... if you do need to write your own name, i would rewrite this as "hey aleron... this is [katou/kaname], i want to apologize as thoroughly as possible for [...]" (but if it omitted your name, i would skip the formality and go straight to "i'm sorry, this is what i did wrong" instead of "i want to say sorry") before continuing to explain what i did wrong first and foremost! i usually want to simultaneously prioritize two things from the very beginning when i write to someone, through establishing an approachable tone of goodwill while accounting for what is most evident about what i've done. this is how i would contrast the lead-up that followed, which was...

+ "I'll Be Honest, i Treasured this relationship" (i'll be honest = i don't know how to interpret that if your actions have suggested neglect, and i would probably believe you mean to say you felt attached while not necessarily having paid attention to what might affect the wellbeing of this friendship)... this was a little out-of-order, and i would place my feelings about my recipient much later after i've established the important parts. describing how much i treasured them as a method of reaching out is usually something i would do to contextualize my sentiments for that relationship moving forward, but here it only delays your actual apology, acting as an awkward buffer that focuses the lens on "but first, i really did care about you and want to be more true to that duty going forward, keep that in mind while i address what i did" which has a priming effect of sorts that i don't quite have the energy to elaborate on

+ "i acknowledge that i was Not The Best Friend" (not the best = minor nitpick, but this tends to be a vague statement and doesn't really commit to accurately characterizing yourself, which some people can read as being evasive)... i would rewrite this as "that was awful of me, and that inconsiderate neglect makes for a bad friend", which may be a little strong but seems generally a lot more vulnerable and open to admitting fault without making a scene of self-pity, which i am often tempted to heavily engage in and therefore try to avoid for others' sakes

+ "leading to this nsfw image blunder" (this [...] blunder = there's a vague sense of distance that i would probably be able to read from that, but it could easily be a very concise way to reference the general site of the issue at hand)... this is where i would skip to what you wrote in the later paragraph where you spoke to what you specifically did and took note of the contexts that encompassed why it was wrong :O

+ "i fail to keep track of things, As You Know, so yeah... i messed up there" (as you know = when coupled with the third-ish repetition of what you aren't keeping track of, this becomes a point of contention! although the thought i had in mind for why that is has started to escape me)... i would omit/replace "as you know" and condense all instances of admission to a section of Inattention Toward Promises at this point in the apology. outside that suggestion, i would also add that i sympathize heavily with inattention, and i don't intend to place any personal blame for that, i'm just writing these as a matter of collaboratively refining your delivery :) i wish you luck as you try to hold onto your commitments!!

+ "basically, i used you. i said it." (i said it = this feels like a loaded/charged statement to supposedly admit, maybe even to a performative extent that suggests you're Really Putting Yourself Out There, a sort of moment where you could be saying you've done what you were supposed to. it's hard to tell whether that's necessarily what you mean or if you say this because you fear it might ultimately be the conclusion someone might come to about how your interactions with aleron. its optics are really complicated and ambiguous, with a lot of room for interpretation)... i would probably omit this entirely, or replace it with "i worry that it ultimately means i've used you. that's simply unconscionable of me, and i intend to not do that again" or something equivalently even-tempered if i can help it. i have a habit of being melodramatic myself, so this is only fair from you, and your emotions at the time of writing tend to affect that presentation in ways you may not be prepared to account for, so i tend to give that some amount of grace <3

+ "i'm not hopeful about the outcome of this apology, but let me try to at least [...]" (the entire phrase feels a little off-putting, but it's hard to articulate what i mean by this. it's easy enough to imagine it isn't intended to be an expectation, but it appears backhanded either way, in a sense? i don't quite know yet)... i would prefer to omit this entirely, but if this phrase was meant to describe that you don't expect anything, then i would rewrite it as "i imagine it's possible this wouldn't repair our relationship, but i hope that it addresses what it must and that you will find peace and clarity regardless", while placing it somewhere near the end of the apology instead of sitting at the cusp of this early midpoint stage

lostsilver wrote:

sorry was away from laptop--

ps!expunged: "yes. i remember this one time that ze got sick (basically a few weeks after ze got infected), and ze felt exhausted from how much ze had been coughing/throwing up + the pain ze was in. ze was basically falling asleep standing up, so i picked zem up and took zem to the couch to tuck zem in. i sat by zem for a while before i ended up falling asleep too."
ps!bandu: "se has been getting into crocheting recently, and se made a little isopod for me and made one for semself,, i started crying, it was that adorable,, my heart just melted i couldn't help it please--"

Achromalia wrote:

oh no i'm burning out;;

i was doing so well but i took this on at an awful pace and there are far more paragraphs to analyze than just the two i addressed;; i'm going to just quote what i have and then add a much simpler continuation of it here...

Achromalia wrote:

i'm not sure i have many substantive thoughts yet in this case, but

if it were sent to me, my opinion would probably be mostly tentatively positive, and i would probably start out with some distance since i tend to be really selective with who i'm friends with... and the conditions of your scenario would probably cause me to be a little anxious, but i would still be forgiving enough to keep responding amicably, i would just be less vulnerable unless directly asked questions. although nobody has had to reconcile with me through formal written apologies, i have been apologized to sometimes, it's usually just a little messier. i always accepted them happily and sweetly in those cases because i liked/trusted the people i spoke with to begin with and/or never personally felt hurt by them... and also because i'm much more pliable to certain people, so i tend to be biased in their favor... ^-^;;

in terms of responsiveness to apologies or any scenario where you might imagine one to be applicable... anyone i start to not like is usually someone i grow colder with or stop actively interacting with, and apologies don't have many opportunities to surface once i've effectively steered that acquaintanceship toward a very quiet and anticlimactic end, meaning there's a lot less tension and significance for anyone to worry about attending to. depending on how i view someone, i may at least respond to their messages if they write any and if i don't completely fear them nor intend to avoid them, but in most cases people just don't message me at all, typically because they probably accept that distance or are no longer preoccupied with addressing me

anyway, it seems like the issues you were apologizing for were twofold-- you've sent nsfw images in a particularly sensitive and embarrassing social context at a time where it wasn't warranted due to neglectful inattention and complacence, and then you had been defensive/combative when aleron took issue with that

for those two introductory paragraphs...

from "okay, so. it’s me, katou, [...]" through to the beginning of the third paragraph during "my response to your reply was not the best, [...]", i would have probably silently/secretly been cautious due to how i interpret its delivery. although i read it as believable and presumably sincere, i would gradually have minor hangups with the presentation of phrases like

+ "okay, so. it's me. this is Yet Another Attempt at an apology to you" (okay, so, yet another attempt = this has connotations of a heavy sense of exhaustion, either with yourself or with having been writing the apologies themselves, but at the same time it almost seems haphazard at the start)... if you do need to write your own name, i would rewrite this as "hey aleron... this is [katou/kaname], i want to apologize as thoroughly as possible for [...]" (but if it omitted your name, i would skip the formality and go straight to "i'm sorry, this is what i did wrong" instead of "i want to say sorry") before continuing to explain what i did wrong first and foremost! i usually want to simultaneously prioritize two things from the very beginning when i write to someone, through establishing an approachable tone of goodwill while accounting for what is most evident about what i've done. this is how i would contrast the lead-up that followed, which was...

+ "I'll Be Honest, i Treasured this relationship" (i'll be honest = i don't know how to interpret that if your actions have suggested neglect, and i would probably believe you mean to say you felt attached while not necessarily having paid attention to what might affect the wellbeing of this friendship)... this was a little out-of-order, and i would place my feelings about my recipient much later after i've established the important parts. describing how much i treasured them as a method of reaching out is usually something i would do to contextualize my sentiments for that relationship moving forward, but here it only delays your actual apology, acting as an awkward buffer that focuses the lens on "but first, i really did care about you and want to be more true to that duty going forward, keep that in mind while i address what i did" which has a priming effect of sorts that i don't quite have the energy to elaborate on

+ "i acknowledge that i was Not The Best Friend" (not the best = minor nitpick, but this tends to be a vague statement and doesn't really commit to accurately characterizing yourself, which some people can read as being evasive)... i would rewrite this as "that was awful of me, and that inconsiderate neglect makes for a bad friend", which may be a little strong but seems generally a lot more vulnerable and open to admitting fault without making a scene of self-pity, which i am often tempted to heavily engage in and therefore try to avoid for others' sakes

+ "leading to this nsfw image blunder" (this [...] blunder = there's a vague sense of distance that i would probably be able to read from that, but it could easily be a very concise way to reference the general site of the issue at hand)... this is where i would skip to what you wrote in the later paragraph where you spoke to what you specifically did and took note of the contexts that encompassed why it was wrong :O

+ "i fail to keep track of things, As You Know, so yeah... i messed up there" (as you know = when coupled with the third-ish repetition of what you aren't keeping track of, this becomes a point of contention! although the thought i had in mind for why that is has started to escape me)... i would omit/replace "as you know" and condense all instances of admission to a section of Inattention Toward Promises at this point in the apology. outside that suggestion, i would also add that i sympathize heavily with inattention, and i don't intend to place any personal blame for that, i'm just writing these as a matter of collaboratively refining your delivery :) i wish you luck as you try to hold onto your commitments!!

+ "basically, i used you. i said it." (i said it = this feels like a loaded/charged statement to supposedly admit, maybe even to a performative extent that suggests you're Really Putting Yourself Out There, a sort of moment where you could be saying you've done what you were supposed to. it's hard to tell whether that's necessarily what you mean or if you say this because you fear it might ultimately be the conclusion someone might come to about how your interactions with aleron. its optics are really complicated and ambiguous, with a lot of room for interpretation)... i would probably omit this entirely, or replace it with "i worry that it ultimately means i've used you. that's simply unconscionable of me, and i intend to not do that again" or something equivalently even-tempered if i can help it. i have a habit of being melodramatic myself, so this is only fair from you, and your emotions at the time of writing tend to affect that presentation in ways you may not be prepared to account for, so i tend to give that some amount of grace <3

+ "i'm not hopeful about the outcome of this apology, but let me try to at least [...]" (the entire phrase feels a little off-putting, but it's hard to articulate what i mean by this. it's easy enough to imagine it isn't intended to be an expectation, but it appears backhanded either way, in a sense? i don't quite know yet)... i would prefer to omit this entirely, but if this phrase was meant to describe that you don't expect anything, then i would rewrite it as "i imagine it's possible this wouldn't repair our relationship, but i hope that it addresses what it must and that you will find peace and clarity regardless", while placing it somewhere near the end of the apology instead of sitting at the cusp of this early midpoint stage

i actually believe most of what you followed up with was positive, especially "i understand i
should have just deleted the embeds and apologized properly" and "i now understand that what I did could have caused social issues for you", and you still made an attempt to gesture toward a promise but acknowledged that it was hard to trust yourself, specifically and vulnerably stating "it’s hard, especially because i broke your
trust so many times before, failing to [keep myself accountable]"

however, "i would further on like to have someone help to hold me accountable" is more mixed, because while it's a fair suggestion, this is phrased as a statement rather than as an inquisitive and open-ended request, which affects the delivery and causes it to seem more demanding than it is. you explain the practicality of this, since you find it hard to trust yourself, but it still hurts your credibility

lostsilver wrote:

sorry was away from laptop--

ps!expunged: "yes. i remember this one time that ze got sick (basically a few weeks after ze got infected), and ze felt exhausted from how much ze had been coughing/throwing up + the pain ze was in. ze was basically falling asleep standing up, so i picked zem up and took zem to the couch to tuck zem in. i sat by zem for a while before i ended up falling asleep too."
ps!bandu: "se has been getting into crocheting recently, and se made a little isopod for me and made one for semself,, i started crying, it was that adorable,, my heart just melted i couldn't help it please--"

welcome backkk

for everyone: it's time!! for!! another qna queue lol <3

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something cute about expunged."
bambi: "gimme somethin' sleepy/cuddly about bandu."
expunged: "give me something cozy/cute about mr. haywood ^^"
bandu: "gimme something cozy about bambi!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something goofy about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something cute/cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cuddly about ps!ex!!"

Achromalia wrote:

im so sleepy urgh... but im comfortable with having chosen to commit to that analysis, hoping for the best now that i'm done...

so much to do, so little energy ;-;

lostsilver wrote:

dave: "give me something cute about expunged."
bambi: "gimme somethin' sleepy/cuddly about bandu."
expunged: "give me something cozy/cute about mr. haywood ^^"
bandu: "gimme something cozy about bambi!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something goofy about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something cute/cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cuddly about ps!ex!!"

for dave: have you noticed any new adorable interests from expunged through their signature excited rambles?
for bambi: how often does bandu ask you to cuddle with him before he falls asleep?

lostsilver wrote:

expunged: "give me something cozy/cute about mr. haywood ^^"
bandu: "gimme something cozy about bambi!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something goofy about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something cute/cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cuddly about ps!ex!!"

Achromalia wrote:

lostsilver wrote:

expunged: "give me something cozy/cute about mr. haywood ^^"
bandu: "gimme something cozy about bambi!!"

ps!dave: "give me something silly about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something goofy about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something cute/cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cuddly about ps!ex!!"

for expunged: your favorite thing to watch mister haywood do for comfort during the winter? and what winter activities comfort you most to join in on around him?
for bandu: do you think there's a certain charm to bambi that makes him really comforting for children? was your experience with him the same way?

Achromalia wrote:

for everyone: nutrition check? hydration check? enjoy :>

lostsilver wrote:

ps!dave: "give me something silly about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something goofy about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something cute/cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cuddly about ps!ex!!"

Achromalia wrote:

waking up!! sorry, i went totally missing for a second;;

lostsilver wrote:

ps!dave: "give me something silly about cresswell."
ps!bambi: "gimme something goofy about ambrose."
ps!expunged: "give me something cute/cozy about ps!bandu."
ps!bandu: "gimme something cozy/cuddly about ps!ex!!"

for ps!dave: super sweet things from your husband that made you smile today?
for ps!bambi: something that your husband has always done that has always made you happy?

lostsilver wrote:

also!! i had a lil comic idea,,

here it is <3

ps!bandu was sleeping, then ps!expunged accidentally woke zem up by moving around too much... ze doesn't mind though <3

ps!expunged: hey, buddy?
ps!bandu, sleepily: mm?
ps!expunged: you seemed to be sleeping... did i wake you up?
ps!bandu: ... no <3
*ps!bandu hides zeir head in ps!expunged's chest. ps!expunged is surprised by this, then se sinks seir head into ps!bandu's hair as se tears up from how precious ze is*

Achromalia wrote:

still napping a lot awfhwh

lostsilver wrote:

also!! i had a lil comic idea,,

here it is <3

ps!bandu was sleeping, then ps!expunged accidentally woke zem up by moving around too much... ze doesn't mind though <3

ps!expunged: hey, buddy?
ps!bandu, sleepily: mm?
ps!expunged: you seemed to be sleeping... did i wake you up?
ps!bandu: ... no <3
*ps!bandu hides zeir head in ps!expunged's chest. ps!expunged is surprised by this, then se sinks seir head into ps!bandu's hair as se tears up from how precious ze is*

aww, i see... short and sweet :)

for everyone: dinner? water? hopefully everyone is feeling comfy ^^

Wimpy Cursed wrote:

ah, it's taken me this long to realize what "to everyone" was appointed to

snow is sexy icl

Achromalia wrote:

i awake againnn

Wimpy Cursed wrote:

ah, it's taken me this long to realize what "to everyone" was appointed to

snow is sexy icl

mmyeah usually it's just a thing between lostie and me bc of the qna roleplay but if you would like to add to it then thats perfectly ok probably ^^

for ps!expunged: any little things you love to notice ps!bandu do in zeir natural comfortable habitat?
for ps!bandu: something you've felt relieved to be able to tell ps!ex during a cuddle session lately?

Indomi-chan wrote:

reffty_gag wrote:

Indomi-chan wrote:

@reffty_gag any updates on ur pc?

check the chat, also WE ARE SO BACKK

i already checked it
nah, i'd win

Achromalia wrote:

the sun and earth and moon

considering their symbolism for a friend's characters

synthwavesquid wrote:

something i can see myself in, is what i need...

and not like that for once :7

Achromalia wrote:

old art from early 2021, two-ish years into learning to draw digitally

i forgot about this character;; i wish i knew what i wanted to do with them

Achromalia wrote:

old landscape from early 2020, i've retouched it a little by removing some layers including a tent and a poorly drawn sketch of a character in perspective. the "sand dunes" were not at full length (imagine their edges cropped out of the layer to 70% of their length, and you'll have something similar to how they originally appeared besides the new texturing), so i filled those in as well

Achromalia wrote:

new brush gives me more intricate precision in size but is absurdly pressure-sensitive so it ironically is not precise at all, going from 1-pixel width to 80-pixel width in one stroke

synthwavesquid wrote:

synthwavesquid wrote:

something i can see myself in, is what i need...

and not like that for once :7

^ this is probably how i've looked/ i'd look if i mentioned anything ever