lostsilver wrote:
dave: "ooh~ i've been wanting to talk about this one for a bit! so, the dream started off with us when we were young. (the only reason i could tell was because bambi's hair was longer and his outfit was different.) bambi and i were in a meadow, the gentle breeze flowing through our hair. he put his hand on mine and looked at me, smiling. i looked back, blushing. he pulled me in for a kiss, as he gently hugged me. i hugged him softly, as i kissed him back. he looked at me happily as we both laughed. it was adorable! <3"
bambi: "we were tired after a long day of running errands, so we laid in our bed as we softly hummed to eachother. we started talking about the stars and what they meant to us as we settled down, cuddling gently. i was talking about the stars and what they meant to me, then dave put his hand on my face as he told me: 'no star could ever shine as bright as you do.' i blushed heavily as he laughed at me happily. he kissed my forehead, then we kept talking before falling asleep as we held eachother close. <3"
*dave blushes happily as he hugs bambi tightly. bambi smiles as he holds dave close. the two laugh and tell eachother how much they love the other, as they stay in a loving embrace <3*
*expunged smiles at the two, signaling that they're happy for them. bandu happily looks at them, then back to you. him and expunged wait patiently for their questions*
thisss.. both are so sweet in that super-subtle long-lasting way? like the glow of dawn or dusk, and hard candies with striking but soft flavors. if i were to try to make myself feel what it longs for, i would even say they imprint in me that gentle warmth super effectively
although if i were to be balanced about it, it feels "too romantic" only because of what you're centering on writing about (but who decides that? is it possible for something to be *too* romantic? and does this critique obligate you to change anything at all? maybe, maybe not-- this is instead only a matter of its proportion compared to the nuance/meaning/experience the romance might ask of blind sweetness or pangs of sadness, and beyond)
"too romantic", for the depth it reaches toward when it looks more like a pond than a lake if that makes sense.. for some people, that pond is their whole world of treasurable joy, but when you've travelled from elsewhere it looks kinda hard to totally immerse yourself in it after you just visited the big lake earlier that week, y'know? but who knows, the water might be better in your pond, or my lake might be poor-quality and only one of many other lakes, most of which know nothing of the oceans beyond
but... i think in future years, that could be a sprout that blossoms a lot more fruitfully later on as you write, so its still wonderful to keep some joy and whimsy and play with it how you like to. just keeping exploring a little to maybe see how to sharpen it and enrich it more, if you think it could use that :>
after all, i enjoyed reading about it, for what it still could offer ^^
for expunged: where can you always find "home" in a brother like bandu?
for bandu: does ex ever try to make jokes or surprise people through their purring? how has it made you or others laugh?
(thoughts on ps!bandu in next post, have to post this first while i have the opportunity)