Hey guys, ReimuArmpitFan here, back with another long rant. What I'm saying here is not a joke, I am actually being dead serious when I say this, I NEED to know if this is normal.
For the majority of times I've been playing high keymodes, I've been a chronic push player. Like I have severe brain damage, from warmup to peak push my acc stays the same. I have horrible consistency because I only work on raising my skill ceiling, meaning my play range is from Sl0 to Sl11.
But as of the past few months i've noticed something. When I push, I truly feel alive. I look at my hands after getting a new clear in a new folder of Satellite, and they're always shaking really hard. My heart rate is in the mid 150's during the time my friend let me use his shit to measure. When I'm near the end of the second chorus pushing my limits, I truly feel alive.
But this isn't all I feel, I've noticed I feel something else. Have you ever been near your crush and you feel that warmth in your chest, that lovely deep burning feeling? I feel that EXACT same thing pushing. I feel euphoric and giddy, and a little... "stimulated". I start giggling at nothing during my sessions now and VC thinks I'm going full schizo, even though I'm going full horny. My entire body tingles as the fire in my chest burns, that deep pleasant warmth... I love it. It's not butterflies in my stomach, that feeling is way different. It's the most pleasant nervous feeling ever, and I have fucking FELL IN LOVE.
But I am ADDICTED to that feeling when pushing. When I used to play 4k, I tried for months to fall in love with accing... but I never could. I couldn't learn to replicate that same feeling when going for acc within my play range. It felt dull in comparison, and trust me, I've TRIED to get that feeling. Normally after a session I have a "session" because of it.
Over the years of me playing like this, my focus face slowly changed from a complete stone cold stare to me biting my lower lip.
I've started pushing not for lamps, but purely to push. Meaning most of what I do to push is fail lamp the Sl12 folder (I will actually climax if I get a clear). Ever since that change as of 4 days ago, I've been pushing like I've never before. I went from barely getting Sl8's to getting Sl11's, and choking both Sl12 and St0. The sessions I've had go on for about 4-6 hours because of it, and that feeling has only gotten stronger. I've been pushing so hard... I get hard too! Deadass I was in the middle of playing Unleashed World Sl12 and my note got fucking long, standing at full attention mid session.
Chat, is it normal for your note to get long when playing Osu!Mania?
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