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Worrying about losing "identity" as time goes on

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AquaBlazeSven
19 posts
Joined November 2015
Topic Starter
AquaBlazeSven
I just started mapping two weeks ago
I feel that, as I map more and more each day, the fresh imagination that I used to have of "what I think a map should be" began to fade.

...Actually, "fading" is not the right word. It's more like my sense of mapping got "mixed" with more and more foreign things as I learn.
Now, when I listen to a part of a song, I can't "picture" what pattern/sound/feeling should be anymore.
The picture in my mind become a swamp of mushes; fear of repetitive patterns, fear of putting wrong angle, fear of putting a "too brand" pattern. I notice that I don't map based on "what I want it to be" anymore. Now, I map on "what it should correctly be."

And that feels really scary. It's like I am starting to become someone else.
Things that I used to like become blurred. When I looked at a map, I asked myself: "What would the beginner me 2 weeks ago would picture it?" I cannot answer that question anymore. It's like I lost then imagination that I used to have.

I don't like this. What should I do? Please help T_T

Edit: Format the sentences to be easier to read
Last edited by AquaBlazeSven , edited 3 times in total.
McEndu
1,426 posts
Joined March 2019
McEndu
I think it's just best to continue mapping. You could try aiming for the ranked section first, then rediscover your "identity" later when you are confident enough and fear less about the various concerns.
niat0004
306 posts
Joined September 2017
niat0004

McEndu wrote:

I think it's just best to continue mapping. You could try aiming for the ranked section first, then rediscover your "identity" later when you are confident enough and fear less about the various concerns.
This didn't work for me, I lost all sense of identity (limiting my map quality) and have to actively try very hard to get it back.
Pasi_
298 posts
Joined July 2020
Pasi_
hmmm, i can't say i've experienced this myself, but i think what might help here is inspiration.

if the restrictions imposed by established mapping concepts narrow down your scope of imagination, taking inspiration can help expand this scope again, because it gives you access to new ideas and patterns that were previously unknown to you.
expanding your arsenal by looking at maps you think are cool might help give your imagination more space to work with.
Wimpy Cursed
1,479 posts
Joined July 2021
Wimpy Cursed

Pasi_ wrote:

hmmm, i can't say i've experienced this myself, but i think what might help here is inspiration.
1+

would recommend looking at other people regardless to gain some ideas and understanding a certain "feel" for multiple songs.

I can sort of understand the "mix" of patterns, but I honestly see that as huge advantage. Gives you diversity, allowing you to explore more and construct a different foundation, even if the ideas are completely unseen for you right now. But of course, in this case, you're basically going into the mindset of the masses (of what a map should be according to song choice), which results in fear.

Just be you! do some experimenting, and see what kind of silly shit you can do. Focus on, I guess, the "emotion" of a song instead. How will you express that emotion? With this set of thinking, you should map based on how you personally feel, I'd hope anyway.
x_yx
153 posts
Joined March 2019
x_yx
the reason you are experiencing the feeling of juxtaposition in terms of creativity is the lack of confidence in what you really want to achieve or demonstrate, generally it’s more of a realisation that you need to fully understand your ultimate goal that you seek to portray yourself in terms of art

consider it as an oxymoron, where both aspects contradict the actual imagination you’re supposed to create, causing it to fade away due to your uncertainty playing the role in distinguishing your characteristics (in mapping), fear is also a factor that comes from your lack of confidence and uncertainty about who you are (identity in mapping from your context), with the extra weight coming from the public’s distinctive viewpoint, where you are afraid of not meeting their expectation, thing is, you have to establish your goal you wanted to achieve beforehand

in simpler words, it is crucial to understand your goal, your target audience, your way of thinking, your uniqueness, your preferences, your aversions, and yourself, the root cause of your fear you mentioned comes from your unsure decisions in the state of mixed thoughts, for you are not confident enough and are afraid of what people think of your creations, though what matters are creating what you actually wanted to instead (or in the way you hope to please/ satisfy the publics, it is your decision after all)

nevertheless try these:-
  1. make a map as in the state of "what it should correctly be"
  2. create a copy of what you had mapped and tune/ alter/ change/ improve/ modify it with your own pattern preference in terms of "what I want it to be"
  3. conduct an overall comparison of whether the pattern fits the section (imagine it as an A/B testing) - this is where you must make decision and determine yourself
  4. produce your final map by using the specific patterns you are confident with for each section
for distinguishing map patterns
  1. understand the fundamentals of mapping theory and patterns
  2. look for a creative pattern cheat sheet and learn how others utilise the creativity (if you can’t find any, look into people’s maps)
  3. shape the patterns uniquely, individually by yourself, that you’d love to see in most of your maps by making notes or screenshots so you don’t lose the inspiration you pictured for later use
some keypoints
  1. creativity has no restriction (even in terms of crimes), it’s only limited when you struggle to think out of the box by locking the principle in the way of thinking/ patterning
  2. map in an open-minded perspective, understand who your target audience is for your patterning (for if you’re aiming to show your creation), it’s a subjective matter that couldn’t impress everyone, but to fascinate the right person who enjoys your art
  3. find and shape your own signature patterns, your icons
  4. understand what you truly seek, what you truly want people, or even yourself, to see, you will hesitate to walk out of this doubt if you can’t establish your goal, and yourself
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