Zekira wrote:
PrologueSitting in the backstage calmly waitingfor(Not sure about this one) my turn, I stood up and went near the torches that were lit just to the side to warm myself up. Eventhough('for' might be better) a performer that has been performing for so long, stage fright is something that cannot be avoided. Even the most experienced (You made add 'of' but that's optional) performers face the problem of seeing a lot of people, most of themtheydon't actually know, afraid that they may screw up their performance and embarass themselves and everyone related to them. (I actually don't understand this, are you trying to say that "Performers face the problem of seeing a lot of people, however most of them don't actually know it?" Kinda confused, sorry. D:) Being a dancer is just one of those more difficult presentations to make (Make isn't really the right verb here... You could try "to perform" or just completely remove it.), and the fact that I'm a guy doesn't even help (I was thinking of "and the fact that I'm a guy makes it even more nerve-racking" Though, I could be wrong on that.. Gender stereotyping, guh.
But in truth, I've been wondering if this is really what I'm meant to be. I perform dances of fiery strength, giving the people morale and courage as different situations happen in their lives (Not that I have a problem with it...I just think if you give people morale and courage. It should be for situations which...require courage... Not just 'different situations'. But, I think I'm getting too nazi so.). With these dances however, I felt that I came to understand... or rather, misunderstand what strength really means. The village head Fuun once told us that your strength can be found once you are on destiny's path, that is, you are doing what you have truly been born for. I've seen this more clearly as time passed, with me repeatedly and repeatedly performing dances of fire to bring the light of the village, both literally and figuratively. Yet however, I began to think that this isn't what I am actually fated to do. Wonderful backstory.
Still standing near the lit torch, I noticed the curtain behind me unruffle (Firefox is saying that 'unruffle' is a grammatical error...I think it might be but I think it might not be as well.), hearing some of the crowd cheering as the curtain closed again. From the stage came another entity walking towards me. She was a bit taller than me, had light-brown eyes, and her ears are somehow cat-like, with some fluff just below them. She was wearing some sort of green robe with a yellow neckline and some sort of thick orange swimsuit, wearing nothing that covers her legs. This was her favorite outfit, and it fits very nicely with her dances too. Representing the dance of mystics, her dances usually tell a story with a premise of "what would heaven be like if it existed on this land." Her dance gives the people the power of optimism, temperance, and fortitude. This dancer is actually my younger sister, Tenyou, who performs the mystic dance of heaven.
"It was a big success, brother! I was able to pull it off!" she exclaimed to me while running towards me. She almost pushed me towards the torch though.
"...! Tenyou, stop being clumsy!" I answered in reply.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were so near to the torch. What are you doing near it anyway?"
"...you haven't seen me do this before? I always do this just right before a performance. And I mean always. You just aren't observing well... no, wait, more like you aren't observing anything at all."
"Why, how rude! I'm not that much of a klutz, you know!"
"History says other wise, my dear sister."
"You also have to remember, I'm just growing up! You're much older than me!"
"I don't really care whether you're young or not, I just want to remind you of the consequences that may entail your actions, be they physical or spiritual, or however they may come."
"...I came running to you for a compliment and all I get is a lecture. Typical older sibling, huh."
"It's true that you've performed well today, howev~"
"But you weren't even watching!"
"...
Anyway, I'll see that new routine of yours maybe later, but right now, I have a dance to perform... I don't care if you're better than me. I'll just do this."
I walk towards the curtain, which was the only thing separating the backstage from the actual stage.
"Wait!" Tenyou exclaimed. "...whatever you do, why not try your best? Especially for this dance... it's what you've been made for anyway. And you know that everyone here admires you, most especially me." she continued.
"...what I've been made for...? Oh well. It's just a dance, anyway." I replied, before proceeding out.
"Good luck, Ryougen!" I heard her say this just before the curtains behind me unruffled. Even though admittedly I haven't been really close to her much, she still seems to care for me so much. Guess it really pays off to have a brother or sister (Fixed "siser" to "sister") beside you, huh. Great dialogue.
My name is Ryougen. I am the eldest (of my generation) of the family clan of dancers, the 'Mai' family. My ears resemble that of miniature dragon wings, but the entire inner side is attached to my head, so I cannot use them to fly. I am currently clothed in a fire red vest that has innate shoulder guards, and these shoulder guards serve as good mounting for my red cape, again nothing covering my legs. The bells behind my ears however, are one of my trademark accessories that seemed to have defined my appearance in the village. This is my favorite outfit, especially when performing my dances. Great.
I stand here in front of the stage once again just right after the village head introduced me. Surrounding him with flames for a minor 'magic act', he disappeared from the stage as the fire dispersed. (The two sentences didn't really join. Took me a while to figure out that 'him' was the 'village head'...but I'm usually slow at that so you could ignore me.) Actually, I perform one minor trick as an entrance every time (Fixed 'entrace' to 'entrance'. Also, it's 'every time' and not 'everytime'.), and it usually gets the crowd up on their feet all the time. Then I immediately proceeded with my 'ritual', that is, the dance I was going to perform. The different instruments started to play their slow initial melody, the guitar taking the instrumental's main sound, accompanied by a flute just right over it. I proceeded with my slow oriental dance here, which I myself do not know how to describe.
(author's note: ...because I don't know how to describe dances myself.)
(editor's note: Always try, Zekira. ^_^)
After the slow melody stopped for a while with the flute's fadeout, I paused appropriately. A few seconds after, I signalled (Ah, British spelling...Carry on!) my hand to initiate the fires behind the audience, prompting the stage assistants to turn the fire on. With the sudden start of the fire, all of the instruments did their initial beat, makingforthe entrance of my actual fiery act. My performances actually involve with me dancing around with the fire, sometimes it being my ally, sometimes it being my foe. I try my best to make my dances different every time, though my instrument choice always remains the same. It's kind of hard to keep up composing different music each time though. However, there is always one move that is common among every dance I have made, and comes just a bit after the start of the actual swift melody. People have called this (Kinda tempted to change it to 'People have coined it'...but I'm trailing off...again...) the Ryougen Beam, which I highly disapprove ofthe name, but what can I do? It's a favorite technique of mine. With a burst of my own soul energy, I create a spectacular display of red and blue fires crossing at a very rapid pace, creating a very fire-works like display. (You repeated 'create' twice... There's nothing wrong, it just sounds iffy.)This "Ryougen Beam" indicates the start of the actual full energy of the dance, even though the rapid melody has already started before it. The drums usually play rapidly with alternating sounds as this technique of mine begins and ends.
It's kind of difficult for me to see myself, thus it is probably biased when I describe my performance. (What? What is the context for you to be bias?) After my dance, the usual reaction of the crowd's applause (Changed "appluasing' to 'applause') was what I heard. In fact, I've heard this applause so many times, I'm kind of... getting bored by it. I'm not amused by it anymore. I walked to the backstage to find the others already fixing up (I think you mean 'packing up'). My dance has always been the one to go last; they always say that my dance is suited for the grand finalé, which made me wonder if I should take it as a compliment or not; (I changed this part. Tell me if you like it or not.) I just dance for the heck of it, you know.
"So you also tried out something new today, huh? Still, people notice the Ryougen Beam the most." Tenyou said to me.
"Well, I do need variation every time you know. (Variation is the spice of life, as people say...Ah well, carry on.) I'm pretty sure you're facing that problem too." I replied.
We fixed up (packed up?) everything as the audience proceeded to leave. But I must say that the most problematic aspect of cleaning up here are the minor oil spills that are used just for the fire exhibitions in my performances. Since it's my fault, I usually end up washing them. Me, being a fire being (Wow, repeating being twice. XD), I kind of have troubleshandling water. I usually ending up overreactingto themwhenever I come in contact with it. It's also usually a laugh for Tenyou to see; one of the village's greatest people, doing cleanup duty, down on his knees, scrubbing the floor because he made it wet. Yes I intentionally described it to sound a bit wrong (Uh-oh...Umm...If what I did made it not sound wrong, feel free to change it back.), because that's exactly what I look like here: wrong. I'm not supposed to be doing this kind of thing. I don't like cleaning up, and I don't think I'm supposed to, but they prompt (Prompt? Or forced?) me to do it anyway. The trash can usually just be burnt with the extra oil remaining, so littersisn't really a problem. Finally, after we were done, we closed up the stage as midnight slowly approached. Many woodfires were alreadyunlit(There are better verbs. Try: extinguished or smothered. 'extinguished' is best.), making it a bit darkaround the areato see, so I have to use my nevermelting candle (Never melting candle. XD) so that me and Tenyou could find the way back to our house.
You probably would've guessed it by now that this is just an outline of an ordinary day. But when Tenyou said the lines "what you've been made for", my mind suddenly had idea that I should get out of this ordinary day. At the moment, I'm really sleepy however, due to the restraints of living beings getting tired by this time. I end this ordinary day as usual with a slumber in my warm room. ('Ordinary' seems overused... Also, trying altering 'get out of this ordinary day'. I would recommend my favourite phrase of 'rebelling against conformity'...but I don't think it will work with this.(This list might help you.
However, I think it's about time I change that, come tomorrow.
EDITOR'S LEGEND:
Bold - AdditionStrike- Subtraction
Green - Compliment
() - Editor notes.
Oh Geez. I need a break before I move on to Chapter 1. It felt like ages.