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Worrying about losing "identity" as time goes on

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AquaBlazeSven
19 posts
Joined November 2015
Topic Starter
AquaBlazeSven
I just started mapping two weeks ago
I feel that, as I map more and more each day, the fresh imagination that I used to have of "what I think a map should be" began to fade.

...Actually, "fading" is not the right word. It's more like my sense of mapping got "mixed" with more and more foreign things as I learn.
Now, when I listen to a part of a song, I can't "picture" what pattern/sound/feeling should be anymore.
The picture in my mind become a swamp of mushes; fear of repetitive patterns, fear of putting wrong angle, fear of putting a "too brand" pattern. I notice that I don't map based on "what I want it to be" anymore. Now, I map on "what it should correctly be."

And that feels really scary. It's like I am starting to become someone else.
Things that I used to like become blurred. When I looked at a map, I asked myself: "What would the beginner me 2 weeks ago would picture it?" I cannot answer that question anymore. It's like I lost then imagination that I used to have.

I don't like this. What should I do? Please help T_T

Edit: Format the sentences to be easier to read
Last edited by AquaBlazeSven , edited 3 times in total.
McEndu
1,425 posts
Joined March 2019
McEndu
I think it's just best to continue mapping. You could try aiming for the ranked section first, then rediscover your "identity" later when you are confident enough and fear less about the various concerns.
niat0004
301 posts
Joined September 2017
niat0004

McEndu wrote:

I think it's just best to continue mapping. You could try aiming for the ranked section first, then rediscover your "identity" later when you are confident enough and fear less about the various concerns.
This didn't work for me, I lost all sense of identity (limiting my map quality) and have to actively try very hard to get it back.
Pasi_
297 posts
Joined July 2020
Pasi_
hmmm, i can't say i've experienced this myself, but i think what might help here is inspiration.

if the restrictions imposed by established mapping concepts narrow down your scope of imagination, taking inspiration can help expand this scope again, because it gives you access to new ideas and patterns that were previously unknown to you.
expanding your arsenal by looking at maps you think are cool might help give your imagination more space to work with.
Wimpy Cursed
1,479 posts
Joined July 2021
Wimpy Cursed

Pasi_ wrote:

hmmm, i can't say i've experienced this myself, but i think what might help here is inspiration.
1+

would recommend looking at other people regardless to gain some ideas and understanding a certain "feel" for multiple songs.

I can sort of understand the "mix" of patterns, but I honestly see that as huge advantage. Gives you diversity, allowing you to explore more and construct a different foundation, even if the ideas are completely unseen for you right now. But of course, in this case, you're basically going into the mindset of the masses (of what a map should be according to song choice), which results in fear.

Just be you! do some experimenting, and see what kind of silly shit you can do. Focus on, I guess, the "emotion" of a song instead. How will you express that emotion? With this set of thinking, you should map based on how you personally feel, I'd hope anyway.
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