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Get Stonks Here!

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Topic Starter
abraker
Great news, A-Breaking Laboratory is going public! I bet you heard of this magnificent great lab founded by some OT Royal Scientist. If you haven't, you must be a pill bug living under 5 pounds of wasted concrete. Let me tell you: This lab has the osu!pull, OT!pill, your mother's pill, the bug pill (hey that's you), portals, and many other question gadgets and gizmos. If it's sciency and and sounds impossible, this lab got it!

What started out like a dirt poor playground for two imbeciles, now is now a magnificent lab. It had its little bumps in the past
99% alcohol did nothing wrong! but now it's a multimillion buck factory. Just look at these production outputs; money doesn't grow on trees, it's made in factories!



Now let's talk about stonks. As you can see and as said, the lab has hit some rough waters before, but it turned its situation loopty-doop around and now whoooom look at that jump!



The price of stonks starts at your beautiful smile, your hand to shake on a deal well done, and a modest 100 OT!Bucks. Pretty great deal, don't you say?
ninore
Lapizote
i have doubts about this.

are you sure this isn't just a bubble waiting to burst anytime?
Penguin
How do I check my OT!Bucks balance? How do I earn OT!Bucks?
WitherMite
How to not be poor?
Lapizote

WitherMite wrote:

How to not be poor?
just get money.
ClevelandsMyBro

Penguin wrote:

How do I check my OT!Bucks balance? How do I earn OT!Bucks?
^this

also how valuable is OT!Bucks? what is the exchange rate of usd to OT!Bucks?
Topic Starter
abraker
@axl Absolutely not! Its factory division has seen an increased output with no end in sight.

@Penguin Did you happen to loose your wallet or something?

@WitherMite Discover new exciting ways to revolutionize OT with a specialty product. You can do your part in revolutionizing OT by investing in A-Breaking Laboratory! Constant on-going research is conducted by the smartest idiots in the R&D facilities. You will see a return in those investments in no time!
Lapizote

abraker wrote:

@axl Absolutely not! Its factory division has seen an increased output with no end in sight.
wouldn't more supplies of stonks lead to the reduction of its value?

wait, how does stonks work anyways?
z0z
what the hell is "stonks" supposed to be?
Topic Starter
abraker
Great you asked! You invest, the lab takes that investment and pumps out new and exciting things, sells it, and you get your share of the profits!
Penguin

abraker wrote:

@Penguin Did you happen to loose your wallet or something?
no, I deposited my money into the bank, but idk how to check my balance and I forgot how much i deposited. i think it was like 5 bajillion dollars or so, so I think i'll buy 1000 stocks. here's my card.
Topic Starter
abraker
Thank you very much! You now 1000 stonks in ABRL.
Lapizote
what's the conversion rate from reddit karma to OT!bucks?
Topic Starter
abraker
reddit what? Let me look it up... 20.42 ? It's a rough estimate, it's not like we got an exchange set up for this sort of thing.
Penguin
do we get quarterly dividends? What's the dividend yield?
WitherMite
I...

dont have capital...

:(
Topic Starter
abraker
Yes, quarterly. Dividend yield is a complex question with a complex answer, but an estimate would be (3 + 2i)%
Penguin
sooooo, it's at least 3%?

or am I a dumb dumb
Topic Starter
abraker
Yes, at least 3%
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