So. The thread noone is asking for, but will be posted anyways.
Well, more shit is going down behind their back. If you just visited the /r/osugame reddit subforum in the past 17 hours, you know what it is. More indifference and long-held apathy regarding Wolfette/AsrielDr33murr now leads to disregard for her perspective.
Each opinion may differ a bit, but most seem to be along the lines of "I dont know them well, but for who they seem to be, good riddance".
With the growing numbers of those who disregard her testimony for what they think they know of her, some berate Wolfette for who she identifies as. The rest are slightly more rational and focus on the issues, considering her past actions on the forums.
We know she's been a part of the dramatic debates and mini-shitstorms in the OT and GD threads. That's the past. Some of us move on, but a lot would think otherwise, that her claim of changing and improving, and getting over her depression to make a better attempt to thicken her skin and endure the shit she'd go through, doesn't excuse her past behavior.
Both sides are understandable, in my perspective. Both have their reasons.
- - -
I'll start off with the events that have been taking place and review how it has gone:
Initially, she started up a thread about her depression, which was where a lot of the drama picked up.
More threads were made, some complaining about life, some complaining about certain users or a specific moderator, and some about her own threads or self-updates. Eventually, Wolfette, known as "AsrielDr33murr" at the time, wound up exiled.
She's been accused of aggressive behavior in discord servers, around the time she had her personal life issues at their worst. She took higher doses of her medication than suggested and she claims she wasn't in the best state of mind at the time. In fact, both parties, she and others, had reacted to each other aggressively. She states they had in a sense denied her of any comfort or sympathy, even after her complaints of her issues. She had gotten to the point of asking for sympathy, which didn't help the perception of her actions.
Upon asking her, she states she didn't ever intend to be aggressive, but knew she reacted as such as a response to other comments that seemed to invalidate or almost berate her. At a certain point, any views of her were made worse by her identity. She didn't take it well and had felt they weren't justified.
Within conversations with Wolfette, it is confirmed that she regretted her past behavior and intends to change. Unfortunately this is around the point of no return, it only got worse considering that past, giving most a slightly flawed perception of them.
After trying (and often failing considering actions promptly taken by Flanster, amongst some other community members) to make successful rebuttals of her improvement, I began to recognize the issues coming up and that something was probably being disregarded, or misunderstood, or was simply drowned in apathy.
Recently, after having her account restricted at an unfortunate timing (as she states to have had a lot to look forward to, about to submit more CTB and Mania maps), she has requested the reasoning of the mods. They message back, only to re-state her previous behavior.
She even made a thread in GD, which was quickly deleted, to state that she no longer wants to cause trouble, and that she'll do her best to be docile. Yet, for whatever reason, that was included in the list of deletion. It caused a lot of suspicion within me as at this point, I had forgiven her for the most part, and the mods seemed adamant in deleting her threads.
And now, about 16 hours ago, she made a subreddit, of which practically everyone expressed their gratitude of her departure. It didn't seem right. Everyone was deterred by her attitude in the past and noone seems to have bothered to reach out to her personally and reconcile or comfort her, which means noone has really bothered to let her tell her side of the story a bit better. Apathy and hostility, hand in hand, just made this become more of an unjust treatment of her. Though, it's doubted whether or not she deserves an immediate second chance.
Meeting her and speaking with her, I can say she's a pretty decent person, but is indeed misunderstood, as laughable as it would be. I have befriended her, and there dont seem to be any issues between us. We occasionally joke around, and just discuss the things that've happened so far. I will say, she isn't the best at phrasing. She's... probably a bit fragile. She perceives herself a victim, but for something I'd see as reasonable enough.
If there were any more altercations I hadn't been aware of and haven't addressed properly, please feel free to state them.
- - -
In short, I asked Wolfette her side of the story to combine her thoughts with other parts of the picture for the events that took place. Take this with an open mind, this might devolve into another potential shitstorm, but I find it necessary to bring all this information to light. My intention is to first, gather what everyone's thoughts are regarding this. Secondly, to mediate between all parties to understand things as they are. Thirdly, to bring a better result to all parties in the long-term. To do so, I wish to report the situation as it seems to be and find ways to clarify the details.
If you have an opinion or any sort of bias,...
...then that works too. I dont wish to immediately limit what you think or say, I wish just to show things as they are and take more information into account.
Moving on.
- - -
My points here are that she's not exactly deserving of the judgmental shitstorm that's been following her, and has been encircling her.
She is responsible for her past, it isn't entirely excusable. She wants to change from that. In many ways, she has. A few of her recent update threads from about a little less than a week or two were deleted despite no drama occurring, and it seems it had been a sign of improvement until deletion.
She's an unusual individual, sure. Being objective about her issues is understandable, but she's fragile with that. It boils down to the "Tough, get over it" attitude we respond with, and that's what caused further problems. it had provoked her. Both sides have taken inappropriate action.
She, in the sense that she saw a reason to retaliate against what she felt threatened by, but did so aggressively and rather brutishly.
Us, in the sense that we've judged her and mocked her for it, telling her to have a thicker skin, to deal with her problems on her own, that she shouldn't be complaining just because of her depression, simply because some of us state to have it too (we react differently to depression, some us find the need to take matters into our own hands, some are shaken and are battered down, feeling hysterical and reacting hysterically or intensely). We tell her to post her problems elsewhere. A lot of us dont bother to help.
Maybe I'm overdoing this. Perhaps we all just wish to move on. I just saw that it was slightly unjust to move forwards without giving much attention or effort into understanding her instead of glossing over our interpretation of her off of these events.
If you've personally had altercations with her, I'd be glad to hear your side of the story as well. It'll be appreciated and might help make things clearer. Just moderate yourselves a bit.
That's it for now.
Well, more shit is going down behind their back. If you just visited the /r/osugame reddit subforum in the past 17 hours, you know what it is. More indifference and long-held apathy regarding Wolfette/AsrielDr33murr now leads to disregard for her perspective.
Each opinion may differ a bit, but most seem to be along the lines of "I dont know them well, but for who they seem to be, good riddance".
With the growing numbers of those who disregard her testimony for what they think they know of her, some berate Wolfette for who she identifies as. The rest are slightly more rational and focus on the issues, considering her past actions on the forums.
We know she's been a part of the dramatic debates and mini-shitstorms in the OT and GD threads. That's the past. Some of us move on, but a lot would think otherwise, that her claim of changing and improving, and getting over her depression to make a better attempt to thicken her skin and endure the shit she'd go through, doesn't excuse her past behavior.
Both sides are understandable, in my perspective. Both have their reasons.
- - -
I'll start off with the events that have been taking place and review how it has gone:
Initially, she started up a thread about her depression, which was where a lot of the drama picked up.
More threads were made, some complaining about life, some complaining about certain users or a specific moderator, and some about her own threads or self-updates. Eventually, Wolfette, known as "AsrielDr33murr" at the time, wound up exiled.
She's been accused of aggressive behavior in discord servers, around the time she had her personal life issues at their worst. She took higher doses of her medication than suggested and she claims she wasn't in the best state of mind at the time. In fact, both parties, she and others, had reacted to each other aggressively. She states they had in a sense denied her of any comfort or sympathy, even after her complaints of her issues. She had gotten to the point of asking for sympathy, which didn't help the perception of her actions.
Upon asking her, she states she didn't ever intend to be aggressive, but knew she reacted as such as a response to other comments that seemed to invalidate or almost berate her. At a certain point, any views of her were made worse by her identity. She didn't take it well and had felt they weren't justified.
Within conversations with Wolfette, it is confirmed that she regretted her past behavior and intends to change. Unfortunately this is around the point of no return, it only got worse considering that past, giving most a slightly flawed perception of them.
After trying (and often failing considering actions promptly taken by Flanster, amongst some other community members) to make successful rebuttals of her improvement, I began to recognize the issues coming up and that something was probably being disregarded, or misunderstood, or was simply drowned in apathy.
Recently, after having her account restricted at an unfortunate timing (as she states to have had a lot to look forward to, about to submit more CTB and Mania maps), she has requested the reasoning of the mods. They message back, only to re-state her previous behavior.
She even made a thread in GD, which was quickly deleted, to state that she no longer wants to cause trouble, and that she'll do her best to be docile. Yet, for whatever reason, that was included in the list of deletion. It caused a lot of suspicion within me as at this point, I had forgiven her for the most part, and the mods seemed adamant in deleting her threads.
And now, about 16 hours ago, she made a subreddit, of which practically everyone expressed their gratitude of her departure. It didn't seem right. Everyone was deterred by her attitude in the past and noone seems to have bothered to reach out to her personally and reconcile or comfort her, which means noone has really bothered to let her tell her side of the story a bit better. Apathy and hostility, hand in hand, just made this become more of an unjust treatment of her. Though, it's doubted whether or not she deserves an immediate second chance.
Meeting her and speaking with her, I can say she's a pretty decent person, but is indeed misunderstood, as laughable as it would be. I have befriended her, and there dont seem to be any issues between us. We occasionally joke around, and just discuss the things that've happened so far. I will say, she isn't the best at phrasing. She's... probably a bit fragile. She perceives herself a victim, but for something I'd see as reasonable enough.
If there were any more altercations I hadn't been aware of and haven't addressed properly, please feel free to state them.
- - -
In short, I asked Wolfette her side of the story to combine her thoughts with other parts of the picture for the events that took place. Take this with an open mind, this might devolve into another potential shitstorm, but I find it necessary to bring all this information to light. My intention is to first, gather what everyone's thoughts are regarding this. Secondly, to mediate between all parties to understand things as they are. Thirdly, to bring a better result to all parties in the long-term. To do so, I wish to report the situation as it seems to be and find ways to clarify the details.
If you have an opinion or any sort of bias,...
...then that works too. I dont wish to immediately limit what you think or say, I wish just to show things as they are and take more information into account.
Moving on.
- - -
My points here are that she's not exactly deserving of the judgmental shitstorm that's been following her, and has been encircling her.
She is responsible for her past, it isn't entirely excusable. She wants to change from that. In many ways, she has. A few of her recent update threads from about a little less than a week or two were deleted despite no drama occurring, and it seems it had been a sign of improvement until deletion.
She's an unusual individual, sure. Being objective about her issues is understandable, but she's fragile with that. It boils down to the "Tough, get over it" attitude we respond with, and that's what caused further problems. it had provoked her. Both sides have taken inappropriate action.
She, in the sense that she saw a reason to retaliate against what she felt threatened by, but did so aggressively and rather brutishly.
Us, in the sense that we've judged her and mocked her for it, telling her to have a thicker skin, to deal with her problems on her own, that she shouldn't be complaining just because of her depression, simply because some of us state to have it too (we react differently to depression, some us find the need to take matters into our own hands, some are shaken and are battered down, feeling hysterical and reacting hysterically or intensely). We tell her to post her problems elsewhere. A lot of us dont bother to help.
Maybe I'm overdoing this. Perhaps we all just wish to move on. I just saw that it was slightly unjust to move forwards without giving much attention or effort into understanding her instead of glossing over our interpretation of her off of these events.
If you've personally had altercations with her, I'd be glad to hear your side of the story as well. It'll be appreciated and might help make things clearer. Just moderate yourselves a bit.
That's it for now.
