Despite it saying I joined at July 2018, I started playing a bit later than that, the account was made back then when I didn't understand this game so I just quit. I only started playing to climb around over 2 months ago, I was around 200k rank back then, I'm at 57k as of now. I don't play this game everyday, it's just a game I come back to from time to time. I only play DTHD or HDHR, but I feel like I don't even deserve my rank, I think the highest play I got is like 220pp, there are so many better players ranked lowered than me, on the same rank and above, did I just "luck out" and skip past ranks? I didn't play for a few weeks, but I'm coming back to play this game. Point is, I do a lot of mistakes, I can't stream any bpm, I suck at bursts, tech maps are impossible for me, I sometimes forget to click, I click next to the circles instead of inside them, I'm blaming my sens and changing it every day, I change my skin every day, I can fc hard parts of a map and fail at the easiest shit ever, I can't fc any nomod map I at least need HR, I can't read without HD, I suck at mouse so I'm thinking of buying a tablet, I don't know what else to list, but you get the point.

I don't know where I went wrong with this game...
Do I just somehow start from scratch?

Vampyre wrote:

but I feel like I don't even deserve my rank, I think the highest play I got is like 220pp, there are so many better players ranked lowered than me, on the same rank and above, did I just "luck out" and skip past ranks?

Rank doesn't show overall player's skill. Because ranking = farming skill, so you cannot be "overranked".

Vampyre wrote:

I can't stream any bpm, I suck at bursts

Learning how to stream takes a lot of time, don't rush. Play easy burst maps. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1fcRvNflcU0__vI0caHn_Ki0sRtDKjpuoi5QhYTQ69ys/edit#gid=0

Vampyre wrote:

tech maps are impossible for me

Tech maps require some background skill of doing doubles, jump streams, slider reading and general reading. So you can't just start playing tech maps and get good at them, you need to play easier maps and master mentioned above patterns first.

Vampyre wrote:

I sometimes forget to click, I click next to the circles instead of inside them, I'm blaming my sens and changing it every day, I change my skin every day

Your reading is bad and you're probably continuing to increase bad habits by playing maps that you cannot play properly. Also, stick to one sens for about week or two and see how you're gonna do after that time. And don't change it before even if you're playing like absolute shit. I change my skin/blame it too, so I don't see anything bad in that. Just get big collection of them :^) *Cries in 30gb of*

Vampyre wrote:

I can fc hard parts of a map and fail at the easiest shit ever, I can't fc any nomod map I at least need HR, I can't read without HD, I suck at mouse so I'm thinking of buying a tablet, I don't know what else to list, but you get the point.

Again, you've ruined your reading by playing high AR maps.
Start playing long high four star/low five star maps and aim for highest accuracy as possible. Don't think about end result, just do best what you can without retrying map. Forget about existence of HR and DT for now. There's nothing wrong with playing HD, though. It's like nomod for some people. Although you probably mean HD with HR/DT.
And I really don't think tablet will help you at what's happening to you, it's general rookie mistakes who rush into hard stuff and then cannot read any easier nomod maps and cannot fc anything and struggle to improve because their reading is really bad.

Play more easier maps to build up reading and enjoy game!

osu is a self achievement game, so you can't really compare one's rank to other's to determine one's skill. Ans why care so much about rank when you can just have fun c:

KupcaH wrote:

Vampyre wrote:

but I feel like I don't even deserve my rank, I think the highest play I got is like 220pp, there are so many better players ranked lowered than me, on the same rank and above, did I just "luck out" and skip past ranks?

Rank doesn't show overall player's skill. Because ranking = farming skill, so you cannot be "overranked".

Vampyre wrote:

I can't stream any bpm, I suck at bursts

Learning how to stream takes a lot of time, don't rush. Play easy burst maps. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1fcRvNflcU0__vI0caHn_Ki0sRtDKjpuoi5QhYTQ69ys/edit#gid=0

Vampyre wrote:

tech maps are impossible for me

Tech maps require some background skill of doing doubles, jump streams, slider reading and general reading. So you can't just start playing tech maps and get good at them, you need to play easier maps and master mentioned above patterns first.

Vampyre wrote:

I sometimes forget to click, I click next to the circles instead of inside them, I'm blaming my sens and changing it every day, I change my skin every day

Your reading is bad and you're probably continuing to increase bad habits by playing maps that you cannot play properly. Also, stick to one sens for about week or two and see how you're gonna do after that time. And don't change it before even if you're playing like absolute shit. I change my skin/blame it too, so I don't see anything bad in that. Just get big collection of them :^) *Cries in 30gb of*

Vampyre wrote:

I can fc hard parts of a map and fail at the easiest shit ever, I can't fc any nomod map I at least need HR, I can't read without HD, I suck at mouse so I'm thinking of buying a tablet, I don't know what else to list, but you get the point.

Again, you've ruined your reading by playing high AR maps.
Start playing long high four star/low five star maps and aim for highest accuracy as possible. Don't think about end result, just do best what you can without retrying map. Forget about existence of HR and DT for now. There's nothing wrong with playing HD, though. It's like nomod for some people. Although you probably mean HD with HR/DT.
And I really don't think tablet will help you at what's happening to you, it's general rookie mistakes who rush into hard stuff and then cannot read any easier nomod maps and cannot fc anything and struggle to improve because their reading is really bad.

Play more easier maps to build up reading and enjoy game!

Thanks a lot for your time and effort to even respond to me, as I'm sure I'm not the only one complaining on the forums about being bad.

I wish there would be some sort of a "coach" of osu like in other games, I can just let a higher ranked friend watch me play and tell me what I'm doing wrong, but I guess no one's really bothered to watch a low ranked player suck.

as much of a dickhead i am i could prob help as much as i can (you're the biggest factor on your own improvement after all) as long as u are willing to put actual effort and isnt just going "waa im bad how to get 2 digit"

Celine wrote:

as much of a dickhead i am i could prob help as much as i can (you're the biggest factor on your own improvement after all) as long as u are willing to put actual effort and isnt just going "waa im bad how to get 2 digit"

No, I genuinely want to get better and I'm willing to put effort in, just that I can't see many mistakes I make due to my inexperience with this game. That's why it's good to have someone watch, judge and give advice.

hit me up on discord

bwz#7172

Celine wrote:

hit me up on discord

bwz#7172

You sure thats the name? It doesn't find it on discord, I'm Vampyr#5306

Vampyre wrote:

Celine wrote:

hit me up on discord

bwz#7172

You sure thats the name? It doesn't find it on discord, I'm Vampyr#5306

bws#7172 lmao I mistyped, was sleepy

Vampyre wrote:

I'm blaming my sens and changing it every day, I change my skin every day

don't do that.

and no, you are not much worse than other players around you. since your top plays are pretty farmy you are probably slightly worse than what your rank says but on the other hand since you climbed so fast your last ranks are extremely far apart from your first place so that's actually a factor that would suggest you're better than what your rank says. i think it levels each other out. you're not worse, you're just specialized.
now i can understand that only being able to play such specialized maps really gets boring after some time. it's obvious that you didn't really learn how to read right because you skipped through everything so fast.

now the following is my personal opinion, not scientific advice, nothing set in stone, only what i personally would think of doing: i would slowly normalize things not just jumping right into it. the first thing i would do is trying to get rid of hd. now this might sound a bit odd. but i think in order to learn how to read everything the way it's meant to be is by looking at the outer circle closing in on the hit circle. it's impossible with hd. you can really only react to the music and somehow memorize the duration between invisibility and visibility which only works for certain AR's though. once you see and actually react to the time the outer circle hits the note, you should be able to pretty much learn any ar. but i would do that slowly as well. climb down from your ar11 or whatever you're usually playing at the moment, don't just jump into idk ar8 or even 9.
again, just my personal thoughts. hope you can fix what you want to fix. by any means, you're not a bad player. and there is nothing wrong with playing hdhr and hddt only. but i'm telling you, tech is hella fun if you know how to play it and streaming / bursting flexible bpms should be at least doable to really enjoy game

Vampyre wrote:

KupcaH wrote:

Vampyre wrote:

but I feel like I don't even deserve my rank, I think the highest play I got is like 220pp, there are so many better players ranked lowered than me, on the same rank and above, did I just "luck out" and skip past ranks?

Rank doesn't show overall player's skill. Because ranking = farming skill, so you cannot be "overranked".

Vampyre wrote:

I can't stream any bpm, I suck at bursts

Learning how to stream takes a lot of time, don't rush. Play easy burst maps. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1fcRvNflcU0__vI0caHn_Ki0sRtDKjpuoi5QhYTQ69ys/edit#gid=0

Vampyre wrote:

tech maps are impossible for me

Tech maps require some background skill of doing doubles, jump streams, slider reading and general reading. So you can't just start playing tech maps and get good at them, you need to play easier maps and master mentioned above patterns first.

Vampyre wrote:

I sometimes forget to click, I click next to the circles instead of inside them, I'm blaming my sens and changing it every day, I change my skin every day

Your reading is bad and you're probably continuing to increase bad habits by playing maps that you cannot play properly. Also, stick to one sens for about week or two and see how you're gonna do after that time. And don't change it before even if you're playing like absolute shit. I change my skin/blame it too, so I don't see anything bad in that. Just get big collection of them :^) *Cries in 30gb of*

Vampyre wrote:

I can fc hard parts of a map and fail at the easiest shit ever, I can't fc any nomod map I at least need HR, I can't read without HD, I suck at mouse so I'm thinking of buying a tablet, I don't know what else to list, but you get the point.

Again, you've ruined your reading by playing high AR maps.
Start playing long high four star/low five star maps and aim for highest accuracy as possible. Don't think about end result, just do best what you can without retrying map. Forget about existence of HR and DT for now. There's nothing wrong with playing HD, though. It's like nomod for some people. Although you probably mean HD with HR/DT.
And I really don't think tablet will help you at what's happening to you, it's general rookie mistakes who rush into hard stuff and then cannot read any easier nomod maps and cannot fc anything and struggle to improve because their reading is really bad.

Play more easier maps to build up reading and enjoy game!

Thanks a lot for your time and effort to even respond to me, as I'm sure I'm not the only one complaining on the forums about being bad.

I wish there would be some sort of a "coach" of osu like in other games, I can just let a higher ranked friend watch me play and tell me what I'm doing wrong, but I guess no one's really bothered to watch a low ranked player suck.

I can watch and have a look if you want

You can call me too when you find me in-game. Gonna be glad to help