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posted
It's me, OT Royal Scientist abraker and the head of the OT Royal Society of Quality. I have been made to come forth and disclose any and all information regarding the recent events by the order of OT Royal Society. It is truly unfortunate what has happened and I am deeply sorry. Sorry for forcing Arctic Enterprises© to close down the production of OT Cider and sorry for giving you all a carcinogen all this time.

Let me start from the beginning. Quite a while ago I discovered why OT was so shit and announced my findings about a certain virus I named Trashipitus-B. Each one of you has that virus and it is active in some more than others. People like Meah have it active the most in them, people like John have it active the least. Older denizens can remember those times where the three legendary shitposting legends came forth to OT to wreak havoc. Those were some interesting time in OT, but also the most chaotic. This is what happens when that virus remains unchecked. I, with the assistance of Blitzfrog, researched the virus and tried to develop a cure. While the lords of the time seemed like the answer, due to various scientific technicalities we soon found out that a total cure would be impossible. While Blitzfrog quit the effort I continued to spend endless hours in the lab. It took me a while, but I found out a way to suppress the virus by digesting a genetically modified strain of the virus.

When I relaunched my product, osu!pill, I also started distributing a drink you all know as 99% alcohol to select people. Soon it became known throughout OT and became a common product everyone knew about. Distributing a genetically modified strain to the population of course needs massive oversight. To monitor and control the quality of the population I have created the OT Royal Society of Quality. That's what you were told, anyway. Its main purpose was to monitor any Trashipitus-B outbreaks in OT and dispose of anyone who develops advancing symptoms, silently replacing them with the clone from my lab. For the longest time everything went great.

Some time ago I got news delivered to me that 2000 barrels of 99% alcohol was stolen from its storage facility. I launched a covert operation to retrieve the stolen barrels, and went there from time to time to check how things were developing. It was soon apparent the place has gone mental and the perpetrator's tracks went cold. One day I got word that the barrels of 99% alcohol were dumped into G&R's water supply. If this had happened in OT, then the incident would have been labeled off as a drunk party. Since the people at G&R never developed immunity against the Trashipitus-B virus, that entire place when to utter shit. Following that event, I was under great pressure from OT Royal Society to cease all operations. I showed oppositions and told them to reconsider given the 99% alcohol's benefits to OT.

While they were reconsidering, news broke out about OT Royal Society's decision about banning 99% alcohol and TeeArctic launched his OT Cider drink as an alternative. Of course I have to inspect all drinks sold in OT to make sure nobody is using the 99% alcohol recipe. After finding out it does have the key component ingredient, my modified strain of the Trashipitus-B virus, I urged him to cease production immediately. The following is the exchange between me and Arctic Enterprises©:




In the end I was not able to convince TeeArctic to stop production. With the production unregulated by the OT Royal Society of Quality , I now expect a disaster to occur in a foreign land any day.

I couldn't speak of the genetically modified Trashipitus-B strain present in the drink because otherwise nobody would drink it and the liquid could be weaponized against other lands as already seen. OT Royal Society now bans any and all 99% alcohol drinks. Now you hear the entire truth. It's over. I will now be answering any question you might have.
posted
Uhh req tldr
posted

levesterz wrote:

Uhh req tldr
+ Trashipitus-B virus makes you all go crazy
+ I make 99% alcohol that suppresses virus by having a genetically modified version of it in it
+ Someone dumps 99% into G&R water supply. They don't have virus immunity and go to shit
+ OT Royal Society is angry and bans 99% alcohol
posted
It doesn't help that OT Cider is supposedly 98.999999% alcohol. It doesn't overreach the ban.

tl;dr (parodied) - If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Trashipitus you may to be entitled to financial compensation. This is a common cancer linked to Trashipitus-B exposure. Exposure to Trashipitus-B in OT, FG, GD, or G&R, may put you at risk.
posted
The society is full of drunks
posted
Well anyone want some OT Water from OsMart?
posted
Anyone here except me are crazy
posted

Meah wrote:

Anyone here except me are crazy
Well I'm slowly starting to get Trashipitus-M..
posted

she's pretty ♥
posted
Abraker pls stop smoking
posted
ice
posted
Now we need to shun abraker
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watch out for Trashipitis-M guys..
posted
Good thing I don't go outside.
posted
I'm currently using expendable clones to convey these messages, but rest assured, we shall combat this virus. I shall reach out to some of you, asking for your aid in certain manners. Yet damn abraker and his secrecy.
posted

TeeArctic1 wrote:

I'm currently using expendable clones
Who the fuck broke into the OT Royal Science Faculty?
posted

abraker wrote:

TeeArctic1 wrote:

I'm currently using expendable clones
Who the fuck broke into the OT Royal Science Faculty?
There's a bloody spy!
posted

Quibbly wrote:

abraker wrote:

TeeArctic1 wrote:

I'm currently using expendable clones
Who the fuck broke into the OT Royal Science Faculty?
There's a bloody spy!
The bazaar has its ways
posted

abraker wrote:

TeeArctic1 wrote:

I'm currently using expendable clones
Who the fuck broke into the OT Royal Science Faculty?
You think you're the only one with cloning technology? You've got a lot to learn, then.
posted
I put my heart in real issues; unlike you abraker, I don’t waste my time mixing random formulas in hopes to make something even slightly amusing
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