I WANNA STOP BEING EMOTIONAL AND TURN INTO AN ANDROID

Jordan wrote:

I WANNA STOP BEING EMOTIONAL AND TURN INTO AN ANDROID

You don't.

facing a bigger possibility of me not being able to continue my study anymore

Being falsely accused of something seriously bad which I haven't done.

This. T_T

Regrets regrets, I want my home. I just don't feel well here anymore and that's making me sick to my stomach

sacchann wrote:

facing a bigger possibility of me not being able to continue my study anymore

I hope things turn out the way you want, hang on ):

forum pages loading for ages.

Examinations.

The fact that I am trying to hide my actual sadness.

the thing that i just found out |'D and also the questions that i got on askfm ajdajdhakjdhkdh -pats pats pats those anons-

My exam today... first time I finished my paper just as the teacher said times up...
Now I have to get ready for the more difficult paper 2....

I played some of the maps I played when I first started, and it pushed me onto this massive nostalgia trip (first started with reminiscing about when I was a noob, and eventually thinking way beyond that), remembering some of my old friends that I haven't seen nor hung out with in years, the things we used to do, and how generally life was back then. And realizing that this upcoming year is my final year of high school, and potentially the last time I will see many of my closest friends for a while.
so glad I don't have a facecam though, I exploded with tears during my livestream

being scared of things that might happen again

worrying my friend a lot more than before after knowing that event background. farking people.. meh meh MEEEEEH AKDHJADJKHAKH I WISH I COULD KILL 'EM ALL

The price of my new school books.

Jazz wrote:

being scared of things that might happen again

Oh .. i know that feel ..

Lonely in a ton of different ways

A fear for the near future.

goodbye 1380$

bills are mean :-(

those damn science guys :-(

Seeing people post stuff that makes them cry and then not explaining or hinting as to what the cause might be. IF YOU SAY A, YOU HAVE TO SAY B DAMMIT

idk i was like qqing because no bf and because these doujins have very weird romance stories and i have been lacking a way (at least recently) to express some of the passion i have, whether it's music or art or competition, and it's bottling up

so ye idk it's a very heavy and looming shadow that's clouding everything i should be seriously focusing on and i hope it clears up before school starts

A certain someone being extremely stupid.

Blue Dragon wrote:

A certain someone being extremely stupid.

i apologize in advance

Wow gladi, you just made me cry.

I walked by some guy who was walking his dogs today. The dogs started barking at me, so he proceeded to kick the fuck out of the dogs. Didn't make me cry, just sort of aggravating.

I once walked past a woman walking her dogs. Same thing happened. I shouted something at her and ran away crying. I was 12 or so.

Bitches should not have dogs.

Reading this thread makes me feel sad.

Honestly, I feel sorry for everyone. I hope everything will turn out alright.

maybe not literally cry but more like a pain deep pain inside my soul because in few days i'll have to return to torture of living which i actually forgot about during holidays which will make the pain even worse, living in constant pain is bad, but having hope for happiness and have it crushed is even worse
constant anxiety costant unsafeness constant depression constant pain constant miserability
i can't even describe what school is to me, even if i'm being treated "special" kind of education, it still hurts so much that at times it drives me to only way to get out of it.
next year of torment which i can't even describe
be happy with your lives people.

I was debating on posting it, have been since like, 10 o'clock yesterday (Almost twelve hours ago or so), but I guess I'll do it.
It's a shame I waited this long. If I decided much earlier, I could have copy/pasted it from my Skype group to save me trouble :V But uh, that won't matter when I'm done, I guess. Anyways...

So, yesterday at 7 in the afternoon, I woke up (yes, I slept through the whole day) and pretty much less than ten minutes later went with my dad and my brothers to Walmart and Taco Bell.
While there, I wanted to look for a certain game I wanted (Metal Gear Rising). Unfortunately, I was $20 short because I decided to give it to my mom, after hearing her fight with my brother for the money he owed her (He asked her to buy pizza and stuff and said he would pay her back. Spoiler alert, he didn't). Without bringing it up, my dad asked me "where [I] planned" on buying my game. I just told him I'd buy it at WM, since we were already going there and it's the same price everywhere. I then continued by asking him if he could loan me the rest of the money till my mom pays me back mine. He quite rudely told me no, saying he didn't have the money for it. Whatever, I decided I'd just look for something else there and dropped it.
When I got to the game department, all three of them decided to harass me, making sure I couldn't check, by saying things like "Hurry up or there won't be taco bell" and how we "have to leave now". They didn't start saying it a few minutes later or anything, they said it literally as I walked over to it. And it wasn't as if we wasted a lot of time there already, we were there for about ten minutes before I reached it. After I got fed up of them doing it and getting looks from strangers, I just simply gave up, and as a result, didn't actually get to look at anything. I then ended up walking around for another ten to fifteen minutes with them looking at kitchen s***. Apparently they only had to rush because I was (going to be) occupied with what I like.
Anyways, we're finally leaving, and, as always, my brother goes to the crane machine (those stupid things with the plushes in them). My brother had no money, and my dad couldn't spare me my twenty dollars for my game, so obviously he couldn't play, right? Nope. Wrong.
My dad LITERALLY spent exactly TWENTY DOLLARS on tries, letting him try to win some stupid f***ing Smurf. Well, he won it, but it got stuck in the hole. My dad then struggled to get it out by shaking the machine, wasting more money on tries attempting to push it down,and even asking employees for help, AFTER THEY TOLD HIM TO STOP SHAKING IT.
I then decided to go outside and sit at the bench, so I could cry without being seen. Not because of embarrassment or anything, but because I know he would never remotely put in the same effort to do something for me.
After the three of them beat the thing out of the machine, they then decided to leave. On the way to the car, my dad says, very sarcastically and rudely, "Thanks for the help, buddy". That pretty much almost caused me to break out into tears again, just because of how hurt I felt from him saying that.
Anyways, we get to Taco Bell, WHICH WAS LITERALLY ACROSS THE STREET (there was never a need to rush), I go inside and stand against the wall a couple feet from the cash register. After my dad ordered everything for them, he looks at me and, again rudely, says "You don't think you could come over here and pick what you want?". I simply tell him I want a couple of tacos, to which he replies in a slower manner (The type he does to imply I'm extremely stupid and such) the same thing, but with a slightly different wording recognizing my reply. I got pretty fed up at this point, and said the exact same thing, with a blatantly aggrivated tone.
Now, we get the food and go sit down. The three of them go to a quite small booth, so I sit at the table that's not even 3 feet away from them. Seeing this, my dad scoffs and says "Really?", as if I have no reason to stay away.
Anyways, after a few minutes, I ask if there are any napkins. My dad tells me to get them myself, so I simply told him I didn't need them. After a minute, he gets up, quite loudly calls me pathetic, gets napkins, and then scatters them across my table. Now, I still haven't eaten anything, and my dad gets up and bring his tacos to the counter and has a very lengthy chat with the employees. I didn't notice this there, mind you, I had to wait till he started talking about it to my brothers in the car. Anyways, apparently there was a worker with a cast on, repeatedly taking it off and on while making the tacos, and my dad recognized it as 'unsanitary', so he returned his food. Again, I wasn't even EATING at this point. He simply left me with the same food made by the same person, with the same health concerns hovering over it.
So, we finally leave, and in the car, my brother says something to me. I as always ignore him, since the only things coming outta his mouth directed at me is usually "fa**ot" or some other swear. My dad then tells my brother "[Mega]'s in a 'I hate my family mood' right now", again implying there's no justification for being mad.
When we got home, he told me to bring in some of the bags. I said No, being completely just beyond filled with rage and everything. My dad yelled out, calling me a "useless piece of s***".

Sorry if the wording or format is odd. I'll go ahead and fix any troublesome problems as long as it's brought to my attention.

^ tl;dr o.o

I cried because of the broken printer.. T^T

inb4 Nathanael's post. ~
I am so sorry MegaRevolution. It was worth reading that "tl;dr post" over there. I hope you are doing better now.
~

Quiz-chan wrote:

Reading this thread makes me feel sad.

Honestly, I feel sorry for everyone. I hope everything will turn out alright.

I understand how you feel. Now that I think about it, maybe I made this thread to let people express what they feel deep inside.
~

I cried after recalling some really bad memories of someone. My heart just aches everytime.

MegaRevolution1 wrote:

I was debating on posting it, have been since like, 10 o'clock yesterday (Almost twelve hours ago or so), but I guess I'll do it.
It's a shame I waited this long. If I decided much earlier, I could have copy/pasted it from my Skype group to save me trouble :V But uh, that won't matter when I'm done, I guess. Anyways...

So, yesterday at 7 in the afternoon, I woke up (yes, I slept through the whole day) and pretty much less than ten minutes later went with my dad and my brothers to Walmart and Taco Bell.
While there, I wanted to look for a certain game I wanted (Metal Gear Rising). Unfortunately, I was $20 short because I decided to give it to my mom, after hearing her fight with my brother for the money he owed her (He asked her to buy pizza and stuff and said he would pay her back. Spoiler alert, he didn't). Without bringing it up, my dad asked me "where [I] planned" on buying my game. I just told him I'd buy it at WM, since we were already going there and it's the same price everywhere. I then continued by asking him if he could loan me the rest of the money till my mom pays me back mine. He quite rudely told me no, saying he didn't have the money for it. Whatever, I decided I'd just look for something else there and dropped it.
When I got to the game department, all three of them decided to harass me, making sure I couldn't check, by saying things like "Hurry up or there won't be taco bell" and how we "have to leave now". They didn't start saying it a few minutes later or anything, they said it literally as I walked over to it. And it wasn't as if we wasted a lot of time there already, we were there for about ten minutes before I reached it. After I got fed up of them doing it and getting looks from strangers, I just simply gave up, and as a result, didn't actually get to look at anything. I then ended up walking around for another ten to fifteen minutes with them looking at kitchen s***. Apparently they only had to rush because I was (going to be) occupied with what I like.
Anyways, we're finally leaving, and, as always, my brother goes to the crane machine (those stupid things with the plushes in them). My brother had no money, and my dad couldn't spare me my twenty dollars for my game, so obviously he couldn't play, right? Nope. Wrong.
My dad LITERALLY spent exactly TWENTY DOLLARS on tries, letting him try to win some stupid f***ing Smurf. Well, he won it, but it got stuck in the hole. My dad then struggled to get it out by shaking the machine, wasting more money on tries attempting to push it down,and even asking employees for help, AFTER THEY TOLD HIM TO STOP SHAKING IT.
I then decided to go outside and sit at the bench, so I could cry without being seen. Not because of embarrassment or anything, but because I know he would never remotely put in the same effort to do something for me.
After the three of them beat the thing out of the machine, they then decided to leave. On the way to the car, my dad says, very sarcastically and rudely, "Thanks for the help, buddy". That pretty much almost caused me to break out into tears again, just because of how hurt I felt from him saying that.
Anyways, we get to Taco Bell, WHICH WAS LITERALLY ACROSS THE STREET (there was never a need to rush), I go inside and stand against the wall a couple feet from the cash register. After my dad ordered everything for them, he looks at me and, again rudely, says "You don't think you could come over here and pick what you want?". I simply tell him I want a couple of tacos, to which he replies in a slower manner (The type he does to imply I'm extremely stupid and such) the same thing, but with a slightly different wording recognizing my reply. I got pretty fed up at this point, and said the exact same thing, with a blatantly aggrivated tone.
Now, we get the food and go sit down. The three of them go to a quite small booth, so I sit at the table that's not even 3 feet away from them. Seeing this, my dad scoffs and says "Really?", as if I have no reason to stay away.
Anyways, after a few minutes, I ask if there are any napkins. My dad tells me to get them myself, so I simply told him I didn't need them. After a minute, he gets up, quite loudly calls me pathetic, gets napkins, and then scatters them across my table. Now, I still haven't eaten anything, and my dad gets up and bring his tacos to the counter and has a very lengthy chat with the employees. I didn't notice this there, mind you, I had to wait till he started talking about it to my brothers in the car. Anyways, apparently there was a worker with a cast on, repeatedly taking it off and on while making the tacos, and my dad recognized it as 'unsanitary', so he returned his food. Again, I wasn't even EATING at this point. He simply left me with the same food made by the same person, with the same health concerns hovering over it.
So, we finally leave, and in the car, my brother says something to me. I as always ignore him, since the only things coming outta his mouth directed at me is usually "fa**ot" or some other swear. My dad then tells my brother "[Mega]'s in a 'I hate my family mood' right now", again implying there's no justification for being mad.
When we got home, he told me to bring in some of the bags. I said No, being completely just beyond filled with rage and everything. My dad yelled out, calling me a "useless piece of s***".

Sorry if the wording or format is odd. I'll go ahead and fix any troublesome problems as long as it's brought to my attention.

Things like that are the reason why i just cut off my relations with the family.

For people who said "TL;DR" : I'll resume :

1. Money problem between him and mother because of brother
2. Asking to father, says "no, don't have $insert_amount_here"
3. being oppressed because spends time at a place he likes and that makes them mad
4. Father gives $exact_amount_needed_by_MegaR to brother for useless thing that will die in less that 2months(in my opinion)
5. There is trouble with the machine that contains the useless thing
6. MegaR goes out to have some peace and to don't get in a fight with the family because Father would not give the same effort as given to brother for MegaR
7. Father becomes sarcastic and rude, saying that MegaR didn't help when the machine got in trouble with them (Not vice versa since the father is "god")
8. They come to the place they needed to go with that hurry... It was just very close so no need to hurry.

I can't resume more since it may be a very long post. but i resumed that right to the Taco bell part, that makes only one paragraph to read.
In the end :

1. Father is a piece of shit, but gives title to MegaR 'cause it doesn't fit with him.

->Sorry for bad english o/

- T o m o k i - wrote:

For people who said "TL;DR" : I'll resume :

1. Money problem between him and mother because of brother
2. Asking to father, says "no, don't have $insert_amount_here"
3. being oppressed because spends time at a place he likes and that makes them mad
4. Father gives $exact_amount_needed_by_MegaR to brother for useless thing that will die in less that 2months(in my opinion)
5. There is trouble with the machine that contains the useless thing
6. MegaR goes out to have some peace and to don't get in a fight with the family because Father would not give the same effort as given to brother for MegaR
7. Father becomes sarcastic and rude, saying that MegaR didn't help when the machine got in trouble with them (Not vice versa since the father is "god")
8. They come to the place they needed to go with that hurry... It was just very close so no need to hurry.

I can't resume more since it may be a very long post. but i resumed that right to the Taco bell part, that makes only one paragraph to read.
In the end :

1. Father is a piece of shit, but gives title to MegaR 'cause it doesn't fit with him.

->Sorry for bad english o/

Even with the bad grammars, thank you for making it smaller. I can even understand it with my common sense.
I didn't mentioned that I have a headache right now so I avoid reading too much. >.<

@MegaRevolution1
that's sad story.
people get used to such treating of others without even realizing it, it hurts even more if it's coming from your family which should support you and treat in same manner as they treat your brother as example, they tend to open eyes when something bad happens and it's too late to fix things
i can imagine that you feel down now, but when you get out from it i think you should muster your courage and have a serious talk with your father about how you're feeling and how they treat you and how you imagine they should treat you like.
if he's not williing to listen to your problems then you should force him to do so, force him to listen to it and to think, try to not get too emotional (as hard as it may sound) if you decide to do so, because from my experiences people tend to say "i'm not in mood right now" and alike or just go away from you when they see you get angry or being broken, making him angry would be last thing you want to do as generally people while being angry get pretty close-minded
timing with such things is crucial, if you decide to do it at wrong time you may end up with being ignored thus getting discouraged to do anything with it.
having serious talk may solve a lot of problems so i think you should think about it, isolating yourself from family should be the last thing to do if you can't handle it.
i'm not expert in human things so you should think about it on your own, how to approach the problem to get it solved
i myself have family which supports me, i think this is quite helpful but there are things you must work on yourself to get better.
i hope you can solve your problems with family and go on living a happy life, but this requires some work.
i'd be happy if i am any help in your situation, just don't get discouraged and keep on living, hold on there mate~

I feel like no matter how much love I give to one person, how much I try to be a good person, no matter how much I try to be normal and smart for everyone...all I get is more depressed and more people I loved leaving me, or not treating me how I want to be treated...

I just want to die.

EOHK-Fluttershy wrote:

I feel like no matter how much love I give to one person, how much I try to be a good person, no matter how much I try to be normal and smart for everyone...all I get is more depressed and more people I loved leaving me, or not treating me how I want to be treated...

I just want to die.

*hugs tightly*
Sis I'll always be here for you <3

EOHK-Fluttershy wrote:

I feel like no matter how much love I give to one person, how much I try to be a good person, no matter how much I try to be normal and smart for everyone...all I get is more depressed and more people I loved leaving me, or not treating me how I want to be treated...

I just want to die.

Nobody wouldn't be able to expect to always have a positive life. As time passes by, there will be always ups and downs. That's how the world is cruel for me. In fact, I also have the same situation as you but with more problems ( Even family problems ) but I'm not giving up on searching for my happy life. So stand up and reach the goal that you're trying to achieve. There are other people who'll love you but cannot freely express it. There will be always a time for that.

Nathanael wrote:

EOHK-Fluttershy wrote:

I feel like no matter how much love I give to one person, how much I try to be a good person, no matter how much I try to be normal and smart for everyone...all I get is more depressed and more people I loved leaving me, or not treating me how I want to be treated...

I just want to die.

Nobody wouldn't be able to expect to always have a positive life. As time passes by, there will be always ups and downs. That's how the world is cruel for me. In fact, I also have the same situation as you but with more problems ( Even family problems ) but I'm not giving up on searching for my happy life. So stand up and reach the goal that you're trying to achieve. There are other people who'll love you but cannot freely express it. There will be always a time for that.

this is chunk of good advice
while lovey-dovey thingies aren't really working out remember you have others who care for you, like family and probably friends
just look for something like hobby which makes you happy, and then one day you may find person which will fall in love with you.