Leevi "thelewa" Juusela 1995-2018

Total Posts
Topic Starter
Unfortunately as in duty of a closest friend of Leevi i have to inform you that he is no longer with us. May you rest in peace my brother.

This took some time to write but i want to clear things out and tell the story properly and honestly, so that someone else might learn something and maybe even saved. There might be some spelling mistakes etc. but forgive me for that.

I have known Leevi since elementary school's first grade, there was some times between the years when we were apart but the friendship was always there. in our teenage years we hanged around and played a lot together and one day Leevi found osu! Half a year later i joined the game too and i couldn't have imagined what the following years would have for us. Many many new friends and amazing memories. During the last couple years Leevi's life downshifted a lot and i am pretty sure his breakup with his girlfriend (Yes, he had one) had more of an impact than he said, because at that time his self-harming habits came to the daylight. Some time after that (end of 2014) he moved away on his own and got some new friends who introduced him to all sorts of psychoactive substances which "made his life better". He just became more and more distant for us, old friends of him. There was little to nothing we could do to get him back on the right rails. I was pretty much the only one he made some contact time to time. But i knew that the old Leevi is still there, behind the chemical curtain which he used to protect himself from the sadness of the cold world. Last winter was a turning point when he had a major mental breakdown and was in mental rehabilition for some time. After he got out of there he moved out of the hippie commune, back to Tampere to his own apartment. He started to contact us old friends and he activated again on our IRC-server. Him living almost in neighbour we even met couple times IRL and chatted even more online and played some Path of Exile. In start of may we went to hang out and take couple beers in a park, he said something about his current mental health that it feels like its starting to get bit worse again and we talked about it with him. When i left the park it was the last time i saw him alive. Four days after that he went offline and nobody got worried at that point because he had done similar disappearings before. Almost 2 weeks later one of his hippie friends called me and asked if i had heard anything about Leevi, at that point i really got worried because i thought he had disappeared to with them to somewhere. One of them went to his apartment and all knocking on his door without answer, at that point the hippie friends werent really bothered so they didn't do anything else. After that i called the police to go there. Police called me back and only asked things about Leevi and that was it. After that to this point, we lived in a blackout, no one knew if he was alive or not. Even as close as i was with him, i had no contact to his parents. During the summer we noticed that he had been online in telegram, i tried to text him couple times and the messages were read but no answer, in the last message i told who i was and that for the fucks sake can someone answer.

I got the answer yesterday and it was Leevi's mother who now told the news. When i called the cops, Leevi was found dead from his apartment. Date of death is 12.52018. Cause of death is somewhat unclear, but there is a reason to believe that he did what he did on purpose. Leevi's fate is so fucking sad that i have no words for it. I just hope that no one else, ever, would have it end the same way.
Help your friends if they have troubles in life and if their life siderails, try to get them back because there is always hope and it is worth it. I did my best but i failed, im not blaming myself because people decide about their own life but i just didn't succeed.

Leevi is not here anymore to hear all the kind words people have said about him. He was a star on the sky who burned brightly but too fast. I will thank everyone who have made their condolences and for the memory of Leevi and the sake of his mother, i will make a collaboration of all the nice words and list of all of the people all around the world who have memorised him in this thread(and in other places along with his IRL friends). When finished the collaboration/adress will be given to his mother, so that she will know that Leevi had more people who care and remember him than just me, that his memory will live on to eternity. Thank you, everyone.

See you Space cowboy (Me, Kriers and thelewa in a bar while on our trip in Dreamhack 2014)

Edit: changed the text a little bit
Updating this as depator's posted the details. Crossposting from another forum.

He was seemingly doing well back when I last met him in May, few days before his death. We went to see Koe no katachi in the movies with him, depa and a few others. Then went for a few beers in the park. I left the park because I wasn't dressed appropriately for the cold weather. That was the last time I saw lewa.

I thought I already cried all that I would cry on midsummer. We were on a cottage with IppE and Depator. I burst out crying in the sauna, and almost tried calling lewa on telegram to ask about his whereabouts. I was talked out of it because we were all way too drunk, and I eventually calmed down.

After hearing the news from depator last night, I was quite paralyzed for the rest of my night shift. I didn't cry then. When I woke up around 17:00 today, I got up and looked at the osu! forum thread. I burst out crying again.
Later depator messaged me and asked if he can visit me on his way back home. I said I'm going to work in a few hours, but if he gives me a ride to work we have time for 30 minutes. We talked a bit about the situation, nothing new really.

Now I'm at work and read depator's post on osu forums. In tears again, especially with me listening to Kaiji soundtrack depa linked on the post.

Rest in peace lewa, you were always the nicest person to everyone.
I'd post a photo, but I never took any photos with you, even though we met quite a few times.

See you Space Cowboy...
Rest in peace.
rest in peace
Lepää rauhassa Leevi
Lepää rauhas
rest in peace.... we'll never forget you
: (
berry go go go
lepää rauhassa
Forever in our thoughts and memories. Rest in peace Leevi
... RIP. Best wishes to his family and closest friends.
rest in peace to a legend of the highest caliber and one of the funniest people to ever grace this community
Rest in peace
This is just not fair.. RIP man, what a fucking loss.
I really don't know what to say. Rest in peace, thelewa.
lepää rauhassa
Joe Castle
Rest in piece lewa.

Best of the wishes for his family and friends on this sad moment.
show more
Please sign in to reply.

New reply