In January, I create a map of Backbeat Maniac, spend hours making it, 20 just to make the beat master diff (AND that doesn't count the time I spent conceptualizing and listening to the song in my head and while I was chilling to further get ideas on how I could map certain parts). And for what? To have the map fucking shit on by normies who are 2b and low AR phobic? It fucking pissed me off, I'm kinda glad I got some actual legitimate mods and advice there.

In February, I had my birthday, that was nice, but you know what else happened? I had Chippy call me retarded and just act like a general asshole. I had the entire taiko discord bullying me cause I called out blatant pp mappers and farmers and had a different view point than the rest of them. Monstrata's Discord was also pretty useless most of the time, I only got like a few mods out of that Discord. And again, my maps got shit on, even my "normal" ones.

And guess what happened this month? My psychopatic father (who was diagnosed as being a sociopathic narcissist) refused to apologize for abusing me during my whole childhood, and then got mad when I broke the mirror in his car. He's a stubborn asshole and the only reason I even live with him is so that I can have a slight chance at getting hormone therapy. And guess what else? My brother threatened to fucking kick me out last night and responded to a legitimate argument with complete nonsense. Fuckin' assholes, literally everyone on my dad's side of the family. It's literally a fucking circle jerk, all the bad people in the family support each other, and all the good people don't have the balls to fuckin' stand up for me or call them out on their shit. Only my mom's side of the family seems to realize just how evil my dad and everyone else is. Everyone else, (INCLUDING MY FUCKING OLDER BROTHER WHO LITERALLY WITNESSED ME BEING ABUSED BY HIM MULTIPLE TIMES) defends him to the end of the earth.

And it's not like I can press charges either, 1. because I have no evidence aside from testimony from me and a few peeps from my mom's side of the family. 2. The last time he hit me was in 2015. 3. Manipulation is hard to prove in court. and 4. the fucker will probably lie his way out of it anyway, or get off scot free just because "he's a nurse, and he can't possibly be bad.''

The only thing I have going for me is that my dad has a criminal record for theft, which may help my case, or may not, I'm not a lawyer.

Miguel M. Vidal, you fuckin' scumbag, why can't you rot in hell where you belong?

That's pretty fuckin depressing big time.

Okay, but to give a serious response, that's a pretty fucked up situation.

I'd say life is pretty fuckin hard to endure, but luckily my situational causes of depression haven't been all that bad, comparatively speaking. Otherwise, I'd say my living conditions are pretty shit. Seeing this, I'm sure yours is too.

...fuck.

I'm honestly not even sure where to start.

Having your creations shit on is a fairly common thing, especially for people like artists and musicians. Pretty much everyone gets judged and criticized, and most likely the shit will be thrown by normies too unless there are those who give legitimate constructive criticism. On that aspect, it's a fucking annoying learning experience. Sometimes you tolerate it and do what you want, or give in and provide what they demand, or maybe a bit of both, or something else, i dont know.

By looking at some of Chippy's posts, he sounds like kind of a dick. I can see how that happens. Usually my apathy helps me shrug shit off, but thats probably not the case for you. Im not sure if you reported him or complained about him being a dick, but still, he's a dick.

Why the fuck does whoever that moderates the taiko discord not see the shit everyone throws at you? Do they just actively not give a fuck? Thats pretty fucked.

As for your father... I dunno. Im assuming you're not in a position where you can freely move out and do shit on your own so you can be away from your dad, but... I guess I have a suggestion. It probably wont help, but I'll try. If you have any friends with extra space, ask them if you can stay over. Bring everything you can. Maybe it'll be awkward, or uncomfortable or something. If it's better than dealing with your dad, do it. Unfortunately, that's assuming you have a friend nearby, and that's kind of rare from what I'd imagine.

Your paternal side of your family is fucked. It's sad.

Have you ever gotten a chance to come up with a plan for all of you (on your mom's side ofc) to do something about this, or is the fear that powerful?

...yeah. I cant really help much other than suggestions, shitty therapy (I dont know if I can be therapeutic at all, since im pretty depressed myself and i dont really believe in most of the optimistic shit)...

...I guess if you're active on osu!, I'd be willing to talk or something if perhaps it gives an outlet of sorts. Vent at me if you'd like. I'm kind of used to that since my dad always yells at me for shit.

I also have a discord. If you're willing, I can PM you my tag and everything and we could talk.

...Hopefully this helps.

Xuequinox wrote:

That's pretty fuckin depressing big time.

Okay, but to give a serious response, that's a pretty fucked up situation.

I'd say life is pretty fuckin hard to endure, but luckily my situational causes of depression haven't been all that bad, comparatively speaking. Otherwise, I'd say my living conditions are pretty shit. Seeing this, I'm sure yours is too.

...fuck.

I'm honestly not even sure where to start.

Having your creations shit on is a fairly common thing, especially for people like artists and musicians. Pretty much everyone gets judged and criticized, and most likely the shit will be thrown by normies too unless there are those who give legitimate constructive criticism. On that aspect, it's a fucking annoying learning experience. Sometimes you tolerate it and do what you want, or give in and provide what they demand, or maybe a bit of both, or something else, i dont know.

By looking at some of Chippy's posts, he sounds like kind of a dick. I can see how that happens. Usually my apathy helps me shrug shit off, but thats probably not the case for you. Im not sure if you reported him or complained about him being a dick, but still, he's a dick.

Why the fuck does whoever that moderates the taiko discord not see the shit everyone throws at you? Do they just actively not give a fuck? Thats pretty fucked.

As for your father... I dunno. Im assuming you're not in a position where you can freely move out and do shit on your own so you can be away from your dad, but... I guess I have a suggestion. It probably wont help, but I'll try. If you have any friends with extra space, ask them if you can stay over. Bring everything you can. Maybe it'll be awkward, or uncomfortable or something. If it's better than dealing with your dad, do it. Unfortunately, that's assuming you have a friend nearby, and that's kind of rare from what I'd imagine.

Your paternal side of your family is fucked. It's sad.

Have you ever gotten a chance to come up with a plan for all of you (on your mom's side ofc) to do something about this, or is the fear that powerful?

...yeah. I cant really help much other than suggestions, shitty therapy (I dont know if I can be therapeutic at all, since im pretty depressed myself and i dont really believe in most of the optimistic shit)...

...I guess if you're active on osu!, I'd be willing to talk or something if perhaps it gives an outlet of sorts. Vent at me if you'd like. I'm kind of used to that since my dad always yells at me for shit.

I also have a discord. If you're willing, I can PM you my tag and everything and we could talk.

...Hopefully this helps.

My discord tag is Big Breasted Wolf Demon#7667. I'd be happy to talk

Well this thread is a darker shade of black I hoped did exist

AsrielDr33murr wrote:

In January, I create a map of Backbeat Maniac, spend hours making it, 20 just to make the beat master diff... nd for what? To have the map fucking shit on by normies who are 2b and low AR phobic? It fucking pissed me off, I'm kinda glad I got some actual legitimate mods and advice there.

I spend too much time mapping shit nobody cares about. I don't know why I do it either. Today I mapped a 2 min 8k EZ diff that is more than likely be going to graveyard. I could have been doing something more productive like watching anime, but no.

AsrielDr33murr wrote:

In February, I had my birthday, that was nice, but you know what else happened? I had Chippy call me retarded and just act like a general asshole. I only got like a few mods out of that Discord. And again, my maps got shit on, even my "normal" ones.

You might want to support this very crazy idea that make look like an idot and see this joke which most of osugame took too seriously.

AsrielDr33murr wrote:

My psychopatic father (who was diagnosed as being a sociopathic narcissist) refused to apologize for abusing me during my whole childhood, and then got mad when I broke the mirror in his car. He's a stubborn asshole and the only reason I even live with him is so that I can have a slight chance at getting hormone therapy. And guess what else? My brother threatened to fucking kick me out last night and responded to a legitimate argument with complete nonsense.

Childhood abuse is bad, yes. Braking a car mirror is bad too, I would get mad as well. Brother-sister feud is more common than you think. I and my sister never got along and would always make the other look like the bad guy in front of parents. Just the goal of one of us getting punished was a victory of battle in the long war that was that 14 year long feud.

AsrielDr33murr wrote:

Xuequinox wrote:

That's pretty fuckin depressing big time.

Okay, but to give a serious response, that's a pretty fucked up situation.

I'd say life is pretty fuckin hard to endure, but luckily my situational causes of depression haven't been all that bad, comparatively speaking. Otherwise, I'd say my living conditions are pretty shit. Seeing this, I'm sure yours is too.

...fuck.

I'm honestly not even sure where to start.

Having your creations shit on is a fairly common thing, especially for people like artists and musicians. Pretty much everyone gets judged and criticized, and most likely the shit will be thrown by normies too unless there are those who give legitimate constructive criticism. On that aspect, it's a fucking annoying learning experience. Sometimes you tolerate it and do what you want, or give in and provide what they demand, or maybe a bit of both, or something else, i dont know.

By looking at some of Chippy's posts, he sounds like kind of a dick. I can see how that happens. Usually my apathy helps me shrug shit off, but thats probably not the case for you. Im not sure if you reported him or complained about him being a dick, but still, he's a dick.

Why the fuck does whoever that moderates the taiko discord not see the shit everyone throws at you? Do they just actively not give a fuck? Thats pretty fucked.

As for your father... I dunno. Im assuming you're not in a position where you can freely move out and do shit on your own so you can be away from your dad, but... I guess I have a suggestion. It probably wont help, but I'll try. If you have any friends with extra space, ask them if you can stay over. Bring everything you can. Maybe it'll be awkward, or uncomfortable or something. If it's better than dealing with your dad, do it. Unfortunately, that's assuming you have a friend nearby, and that's kind of rare from what I'd imagine.

Your paternal side of your family is fucked. It's sad.

Have you ever gotten a chance to come up with a plan for all of you (on your mom's side ofc) to do something about this, or is the fear that powerful?

...yeah. I cant really help much other than suggestions, shitty therapy (I dont know if I can be therapeutic at all, since im pretty depressed myself and i dont really believe in most of the optimistic shit)...

...I guess if you're active on osu!, I'd be willing to talk or something if perhaps it gives an outlet of sorts. Vent at me if you'd like. I'm kind of used to that since my dad always yells at me for shit.

I also have a discord. If you're willing, I can PM you my tag and everything and we could talk.

...Hopefully this helps.

My discord tag is Big Breasted Wolf Demon#7667. I'd be happy to talk

Mine is Xuequinox#9003. I've sent a friend request.

tl;dr please

Saturnalize wrote:

tl;dr please

He's depressed big time

Saturnalize wrote:

tl;dr please

It’s less than a paragraph you illiterate potato

AsrielDr33murr wrote:

Saturnalize wrote:

tl;dr please

It’s less than a paragraph you illiterate potato

do you know what a fucking paragraph is lmao

Wow so you were "bullied" by people in osu? Wow poor you.

If you're having problems with your family... move out. Sort out your problems yourself. And I doubt that fucking up you body with hormone therapy will make you any happier.

B1rd wrote:

Wow so you were "bullied" by people in osu? Wow poor you.

If you're having problems with your family... move out. Sort out your problems yourself. And I doubt that fucking up you body with hormone therapy will make you any happier.

Hormone therapy isn’t “fucking up my body” if anything, it’s improving my body, like putting new oil in a car.

do you know what a fucking paragraph is lmao[/quote]

4 sentences

B1rd wrote:

And I doubt that fucking up you body with hormone therapy will make you any happier.

sorry but breast cancer and blood clots are countered by less prostate cancer and testosterone-related life expectancy, so even ignoring the fact that she wants it it's a minor unfuckup

yeah this is longer than the usual paragraph gonna need a TL;DR here lads

Depends if you're getting hormones to make up for a deficiency, or taking hormones to try to become like the other sex, the latter of which can cause permanent impotency.

B1rd wrote:

Depends if you're getting hormones to make up for a deficiency, or taking hormones to try to become like the other sex, the latter of which can cause permanent impotency.

i get it it's a fuckup in that sense, still depends if they care or not (or prefer it too)

Well too bad if you change your mind at a later date, but then you find you you can't have kids any more. Teenagers are prone to going though all sorts of phases, and people live for a long time so you don't want to affect the rest of your life because of some bad decisions when you were young.

I read a study that stated that gender tradition doesn't make actually make trans people any happier, so I either way I don't see the utility in it.

B1rd wrote:

Wow so you were "bullied" by people in osu? Wow poor you.

If you're having problems with your family... move out. Sort out your problems yourself. And I doubt that fucking up you body with hormone therapy will make you any happier.

lmfao "yeah just get the money from 0 savings to move out and live on your own and maintain your own livelyhood" ok sure Daniel.

Get a job and find an apartment, it's not rocket science.

well even if she took what you said into account she would take hormones because infertility is reversible with them, and not with surgery.

regarding phases, by saying "trans" you implied it's not a phase - ask her, not me, how long she's been feeling this way. i don't really know.

B1rd wrote:

I read a study that stated that gender tradition doesn't make actually make trans people any happier, so I either way I don't see the utility in it.

tradition? transition? no matter which one the studies are conflicting for some reason so yay

hence make your decisions based on your situation, taking everything into account...