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Need Essays Proofread ?

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ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow

shinn wrote:

Here you go, essay needs proof read. (My english is gay...)

And also, can anyone give me ideas, this is a pain in the ass
Will get to work on it tomorrow.

I read a bit of it already, and your English is just a little misused in places. I'll correct it.
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow
shinn: Your story has been edited to fix your English and word usage.

There were several problems with passive voice, subject-verb agreement, and parallel structure. I've fixed these.

I highlighted areas of the story that confused me or that I thought needed to be changed, but changed by you rather than me. The ending is fairly clever, but could probably be improved. The entire 'middle' of the story could be further developed and made longer as well as the end. It seems your story gets less detailed as it progresses.

Otherwise, not a bad job. I've attached my corrections and comments. Look for the yellow.

Download: Travelogue.doc
shinn_old
317 posts
Here since the beginning
shinn_old
Thanks for Proof reading my essay.

Don't worry, there's gonna be quite a bit of upload going on as I progress on with GCSE
chan
osu! Alumni
984 posts
Here since the beginning
chan
Interesting thread, willing to chip in as soon as exams are over (heck, maybe even before then!). Maybe I can help when TPS is unavailable.
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow
I'll be glad to have your help, Chan.

Let me know when your exams are over and then I suppose whoever sees requests for essays first will post letting the other know that he is starting to work on it.
shinn_old
317 posts
Here since the beginning
shinn_old
Sorry for the quick reply, I need this proof read by tomorrow File will be attached asap :(EDIT File uploaded)

Download: King Schahriar Tom Chan.doc
Slain087
457 posts
Joined January 2008
Slain087
Sorry, accidentally downloaded it twice.

I don't know about some of the edits I had made, so use the ones I did to your discretion. If you're at all confused as to why I changed a word or separated sentences or something, just ask me and I'll explain it.

Download: King Schahriar Tom Chan(slainedit).doc
shinn_old
317 posts
Here since the beginning
shinn_old
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
chan
osu! Alumni
984 posts
Here since the beginning
chan
oh man
if you can wait, i will add further edits. i just gotta install office 03, since my trial office 07 expired. d'oh!
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun
Oh God I wish I had found this thread a looong time ago. My AP European History teacher makes us write so many essays it's not even funny.

Unfortunately I can't take advantage of your services for the essays we're writing this week (I would end up sending you them on Thursday, and they're due Friday), but TPS would you be interested in helping me out next semester? I usually get 90s on my essays for weird reasons/faulty thesis statements/I have no idea.
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow

Todesengal wrote:

Oh God I wish I had found this thread a looong time ago. My AP European History teacher makes us write so many essays it's not even funny.

Unfortunately I can't take advantage of your services for the essays we're writing this week (I would end up sending you them on Thursday, and they're due Friday), but TPS would you be interested in helping me out next semester? I usually get 90s on my essays for weird reasons/faulty thesis statements/I have no idea.
I'd be willing to help, of course.

I got As in AP European History last year, so I'm fairly knowledgeable about the subject.
Seibei4211
osu! Alumni
1,701 posts
Joined August 2008
Seibei4211
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Keyboard_old
95 posts
Joined November 2008
Keyboard_old
I don't got nothing.
2 double negative *hint hint*
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun
You obviously 'got' a faulty grasp on grammar, which TPS will have to correct in your essays.

dumbass

...just kidding I love you
shinn_old
317 posts
Here since the beginning
shinn_old
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.

Download: Compare and Contrast the main female characters of Scheherazade and Madam Loisel in.docx

Download: 2008_12_10.zip
Seibei4211
osu! Alumni
1,701 posts
Joined August 2008
Seibei4211
Sucks to be you guys. I got, like, a tenth of the amount of essays you guys get. Hoohoo~
shinn_old
317 posts
Here since the beginning
shinn_old

Seibei4211 wrote:

Sucks to be you guys. I got, like, a tenth of the amount of essays you guys get. Hoohoo~
GCSE English :(

2 yrs of Coursework jammed into 1 year...
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun
AP European History :(

I swear to God we write so many fucking essays about social changes. No one cares about Europe's social changes dammit.
Slain087
457 posts
Joined January 2008
Slain087
Man, those tenses looked right when I was proofreading it...
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow

Todesengal wrote:

AP European History :(

I swear to God we write so many fucking essays about social changes. No one cares about Europe's social changes dammit.
Heh, they're so much fun...

On a side note, I have my computer back and I am on break, so you can send me rows of essays now.

Not that anyone should have to write essays at this time of year...
shinn_old
317 posts
Here since the beginning
shinn_old

Slain087 wrote:

Man, those tenses looked right when I was proofreading it...
Teacher goes like

English Teacher wrote:

FUCKING BASTARDS, PROOF READ BEFORE HANDING IN YOUR WORK (I swear it was written on the comments)
shinn_old
317 posts
Here since the beginning
shinn_old

Slain087 wrote:

Man, those tenses looked right when I was proofreading it...
I need it in present tense, also, deadline @ 7/1/09 1.20 PM GMT+8

Translation- I really need it ASAP!

Anything else that is needed please PM ME! I CAN PROCESS REQUEST BY 10 PM GMT+8
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow
Topic is dead. I figured people would be coming with more essays with the coming semester.
Starrodkirby86
osu! Alumni
3,723 posts
Here since the beginning
Starrodkirby86
Oh, so does that mean we can't give any future essays to the hands of you fellows? If so, then all right...one less peer review for me. ._.; But there aren't essays I've been assigned with anyway...=/

Or are you saying it's dead/inactive at the moment, and you'll be figuring that there will be more essays coming soon? I'm not quite getting anything. Then again it's the night and my brain is off. xD
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun
The problem is I write essays the night before they're due. In fact, that's what I'm doing right now. I'm writing three APEURO essays that are due on Thursday and a APUSH that's also due on Thursday.

sowwy
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun
essays got moved back to Friday yesss

And APUSH essay got moved to Monday yessssss

so I have a couple of essays written...if anyone could proof them by Friday that'd be lovely, but I'm not expecting anything on such short notice. Files posted in order of importance, with constabledelacroix the one I really want proof'd.

I'd say my only real problem areas are passive tenses and that I write very, very lengthy sentences that twist around themselves.

iluvuguyssomuch

Download: constabledelacroix.doc

Download: 6BritainEURO.doc

Download: 4LatinEURO.doc
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow

Todesengal wrote:

essays got moved back to Friday yesss

And APUSH essay got moved to Monday yessssss

so I have a couple of essays written...if anyone could proof them by Friday that'd be lovely, but I'm not expecting anything on such short notice. Files posted in order of importance, with constabledelacroix the one I really want proof'd.

I'd say my only real problem areas are passive tenses and that I write very, very lengthy sentences that twist around themselves.

iluvuguyssomuch
The only one I really have time for right now is the 'constabledelacroix', since you said you wanted that proofread. I've made changes, mostly in tenses. Some rewording was done in order to save redundancy, and, yes, a few of your sentences were reworded because of their twisting nature. There were some passive tenses that I dealt with as well.

It was not written badly at all, however. Reminds me of my old AP European History papers...

Oh, and you might note: I know some people don't like it when I just change their paper for them, so I highlighted everything I changed in yellow so that you can see what changes have been made. Compare it to your original if you like.

Download: constabledelacroix (TPS Revision).doc
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun
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Seibei4211
osu! Alumni
1,701 posts
Joined August 2008
Seibei4211
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow
Do you still need the others read ? I might be able to take a look later tonight.

(To clarify, I'm addressing Todesengal)
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun

ThePassingShadow wrote:

Do you still need the others read ? I might be able to take a look later tonight.

(To clarify, I'm addressing Todesengal)
you can if you want, I don't really need those proofread. They're just review questions she told us to answer like essays.
Gummii_old
54 posts
Joined March 2009
Gummii_old
lol this is so random :X
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow

Gummii wrote:

lol this is so random :X
Eh, I just feel like I owe something to the community. I want to help out.
chan
osu! Alumni
984 posts
Here since the beginning
chan
hah i might throw up a draft of my thesis here once it's done
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow

chan wrote:

hah i might throw up a draft of my thesis here once it's done
Sounds like it will be fun to read.

How long ?
Vannessa_old
15 posts
Joined March 2009
Vannessa_old
Here ya go :)...

Download: Aquinas.doc
ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow

Vannessa wrote:

Here ya go :)...
When would you like this completed ?

I can look tomorrow, but if you reply fast enough, I'll look tonight.
Michelle_old
27 posts
Joined March 2009
Michelle_old
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ThePassingShadow
330 posts
Joined June 2008
Topic Starter
ThePassingShadow

Michelle wrote:

whenever you have time :)

^vannessa on my account
Hey Vannessa, I'm a little swamped tonight, but I DID proofread the first page and skim the rest of the paper. I'll be able to finish it tomorrow night (EST) most likely, but I can't have it done tonight unfortunately. I'm sorry for being so terribly slow with this one...
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