Breakfast:

"I would like a sausage egg and cheese muffin, but no egg." *pushes number 2 sammich and takes off the egg, customer pays THEN notices they were charged wrongly. We have a sausage and cheese muffin on the dollar menu people, please order your shit right or I will charge you more.

"I want a breakfast burrito" There's 3 different kinds, one with steak, one that's for $1 and one tha- "GIMME THE DOLLAR ONE" o-ok...why didn't you say that before?

People who come through at 8am and order just a large diet coke. WTF? Carbonation in the AM kills me.

I'll do lunch tomorrow since I work and I'll come up with more after work I'm sure.

EDIT: ALSO. Customer call the cimmimelts cinni-minis....THAT'S AT BK PEOPLE.

if I were to truly list everything my post would be a few pages long (I work at McDonalds. In the south.)

This is basically every order after 11 because customers here can never ever remember that after 11 we go on the late night menu. Ever.

"Can I get a McDouble."
"I'm sorry sir we're on the late night menu, it's posted right above your screen."
"CAN I GET A MCDOUBLE, PLEASE." (they never hear me the first time)
"Sir we are on the late night menu."
"Oh. What's that."
"It's that little menu posted right above your screen."
"So I can't get a McDouble."
"No sir."
"What can I get?"
"*audibly repressed sigh*Anything on that little menu."
"So no McDoubles."
"No sir."
"Why not?"
"Because we stop using regular meat after 11."
"Well if I were to order them how long would I have to wait?"
"Until we go back on the lunch menu at 11 AM."
"Do the other McDonalds do this?"
"I don't know sir I don't work there."
"Well that's stupid--this is stupid. I just want a McDouble. Can I get a McDouble? Seriously?"
"*unrepressed sigh*"
"What?"
"No sir."
"Well fuck I'll just go somewhere else."
"Have a nice night sir."

I've had a few orders go on longer (some people are just belligerent about their friggin double cheeseburgers, welcome to the South) but that is about the average order from someone who doesn't remember we go on the late night menu. I have to deal with this every night.

so what's on the late night menu

Can I have the late night menu at lunch time?

I've ordered breakfast menu items at 4pm before.

Lybydose wrote:

so what's on the late night menu

Quarter pounders, double quarter pounders, all the Anguses, McChickens, all the McNuggets starting at the 10 piece (won't sell below 10 piece for some reason), Breakfast Burritoes, Hotcakes, Cinnamelts, Oatmeal, Apple Dippers, cookies and pies. I'm forgetting a few probably. Depending on how lazy we feel we may or may not sell ice cream or McCafe drinks. If we're feeling lazy we'll tell you the machine is down for maintenance.

Hmm... At the district attorney's office while I was clocking in, I walked past a man at one of the fish tanks (people in the bullet proof glass help desks) screaming "What do you mean I'm not allowed to go within 200 yards of her!? I told you, she loves me! She just plays hard to get! GAH I'm so mad, I'm gonna take a dump in your fucking sink!" As he stomped off to the bathroom and the lady called security. As well as the classis woman with 2 black eyes, about 50 bruises, missing teeth, cuts, scars, etc. going "No! Don't press charges, he didn't mean it, I love him!" Ahh the memories.

Cuddlebun wrote:

If we're feeling lazy we'll tell you the machine is down for maintenance.

That is prime customer service there.

Cuddlebun wrote:

If we're feeling lazy we'll tell you the machine is down for maintenance.

Fuck, they pull that shit so often here. I refuse to believe that the machine ever requires any sort of maintenance.

You should question if they even have a machine!

Demand that, as a customer you have a right to see the machine that makes substenance X.

I worked at a pharmacy for a while and there is this one time...there was a mother who came up to the counter with her 13ish year old son. She straight up asked for some Naproxen. I went through a standard questioning routine forgetting one that could probably have saved me a headache;

Me: Ok. What is it being used for?
Her: Period pain, I'm pretty sure.
Me: Can you describe the pain and where it is?
Her: Yeah. It happens in the lower part of the body and comes around every month at the same time. It's a sharp pain most of the time.
Me: How long has this been occurring?
Her: Oh a few months, I'd say around 4 months.
Me: Ok, have you tried anything before that?
Her: Yeah we tried panadol but that didn't seem to work too well. (We?)
Me: Oh just to confirm, is this for you?
Her: Nah it's for my little one here.
Me: You mean your son?
Her: Yes? Is there something wrong?
Me: Are you sure it's period pain?
Her: Yeah I'm fairly sure, my daughter got it at around the same time and I assume he's got it too.
Me: Right. I just wanted to make sure... because boys can't get period pain, they don't menstruate. It must be something else.
Her: Are you calling me stupid? I know what it is. It's period pain. (but you were fairly sure?)
Me: No... I am just saying that it shouldn't be possible with your son.
Her: Then tell me why my daughter got it.
Me: She is female, she will experience periods and possibly period pain.
Her: But boys can experience it too.
Me: No, it shouldn't be possible.
Her: You're just a student, I want to talk to the pharmacist.
Me: ... ok.

I didn't listen in but she left a very angry person by the end.

I was seriously perplexed at how someone didn't know that. Maybe I'm being presumptuous and that it's not common knowledge?

Cuddlebun wrote:

If we're feeling lazy we'll tell you the machine is down for maintenance.

So that's why I couldn't get my McFlurry at 4 am, /raisefist

I have a bunch of interesting stories, but some lady payed me 32 hundred dollars.
In cash.
That's 32 $100 bills. I have to mark every one to tell if it's counterfeit.
I mean I understand not wanting to abuse a credit card, but this is what credit cards are for. Seriously.

And a bunch of people buy like a candy bar and give me a $100 bill eating all the change in my register. This is a hardware store, not a freaking bank.

While I was working in a fishing store (no jokes, please) I had to deal with many angry old ladies.

One woman kept walking around complaining to me how the prices are too high for an hour.
Then one lady asked me to get her product A, so I found it for her and she bought it.
Next day she comes back explaining angrily how I had tricked her into buying product A when she really wanted product B.

fishie wrote:

While I was working in a fishing store (no jokes, please) I had to deal with many angry old ladies.

One woman kept walking around complaining to me how the prices are too high for an hour.
Then one lady asked me to get her product A, so I found it for her and she bought it.
Next day she comes back explaining angrily how I had tricked her into buying product A when she really wanted product B.

I'll be Quaraezha for a moment.

Sounds like you are FISHING for sympathy.

Vext wrote:

Sounds like you are FISHING for sympathy.

You deserve a kick in the balls.

<_>

Pokebis wrote:

I have a bunch of interesting stories, but some lady payed me 32 hundred dollars.
In cash.
That's 32 $100 bills. I have to mark every one to tell if it's counterfeit.
I mean I understand not wanting to abuse a credit card, but this is what credit cards are for. Seriously.

And a bunch of people buy like a candy bar and give me a $100 bill eating all the change in my register. This is a hardware store, not a freaking bank.

Ahhh I hate people who use a $100 bill, especially in drivethru. I have not yet seen an order large enough to justify that large a bill. Then not only do I have to call the safe manager to get me change, I need to call another manager to punch in the code because my register will not take $100 bills without a manager code.

Also people who give me twenties for two dollar purchases. Those people get their change in single dollar bills.

ALSO people who give me a fuckload of change (worst I've gotten is several fistfuls when someone seriously emptied their piggy bank into their friend's hands to pay me) and then get mad when I don't let them move to the next window until I count the change and make sure it's correct. Which it's usually not.

Rantai wrote:

I worked at a pharmacy for a while and there is this one time...there was a mother who came up to the counter with her 13ish year old son. She straight up asked for some Naproxen. I went through a standard questioning routine forgetting one that could probably have saved me a headache;

Me: Ok. What is it being used for?
Her: Period pain, I'm pretty sure.
Me: Can you describe the pain and where it is?
Her: Yeah. It happens in the lower part of the body and comes around every month at the same time. It's a sharp pain most of the time.
Me: How long has this been occurring?
Her: Oh a few months, I'd say around 4 months.
Me: Ok, have you tried anything before that?
Her: Yeah we tried panadol but that didn't seem to work too well. (We?)
Me: Oh just to confirm, is this for you?
Her: Nah it's for my little one here.
Me: You mean your son?
Her: Yes? Is there something wrong?
Me: Are you sure it's period pain?
Her: Yeah I'm fairly sure, my daughter got it at around the same time and I assume he's got it too.
Me: Right. I just wanted to make sure... because boys can't get period pain, they don't menstruate. It must be something else.
Her: Are you calling me stupid? I know what it is. It's period pain. (but you were fairly sure?)
Me: No... I am just saying that it shouldn't be possible with your son.
Her: Then tell me why my daughter got it.
Me: She is female, she will experience periods and possibly period pain.
Her: But boys can experience it too.
Me: No, it shouldn't be possible.
Her: You're just a student, I want to talk to the pharmacist.
Me: ... ok.

This sounds too bloody ridiculous to be true. Please tell us that was some hidden-camera prank or whatever

I believe him. You wouldn't believe the sorts of things people don't know down here in America.

Rantai wrote:

Unreal stuff

I would have given her tampons and instructed her to put them in her son's penis.

Shellghost wrote:

Rantai wrote:

Unreal stuff

I would have given her tampons and instructed her to put them in her son's penis.

You are a terrible person.

Shellghost wrote:

Rantai wrote:

Unreal stuff

I would have given her tampons and instructed her to put them in her son's penis.

I fucking love you.

I so rarely deal with customers where I work, and when I do "deal" with customers, it's basically just me smiling politely, shaking their hands, and hoping my attire doesn't offend them. The best I can do is read through support tickets and wonder why the hell someone hit the refresh key on a submission form and then be surprised that their data did not persist.

I did work IT at a company once (Tim Hortons), and got a lot of calls about restaurant DMs (District Managers) asking how to connect to WiFi in whatever hotel they were staying at. About 50% of the time the problem was that they hadn't asked the hotel staff for access to the WiFi. 9 times out of 10 these people didn't know how computers actually worked and couldn't figure out how to manually connect to an access point. And you get paid how many hundred thousand a year?

tryng to drive up a VERY steep hill when theres ice on it.

Cuddlebun wrote:

Ahhh I hate people who use a $100 bill, especially in drivethru. I have not yet seen an order large enough to justify that large a bill. Then not only do I have to call the safe manager to get me change, I need to call another manager to punch in the code because my register will not take $100 bills without a manager code.

1. check if the bill is real (aka look at it, check for the little strips, feel it)
2. if you have the 20 dollar bills to give them change, just punch in $50 and add $50 to their change
3. ???
4. PROFIT

SAUCE: i worked at mcdonalds in high school.

P.S. - I always ran out of 1's so I would never give 18 singles to someone

P.P.S - yeah i hated that change thing too, especially when its all dimes. who the fuck has almost 4 dollars in dimes and gives you that in a fucking handful. I also once had a guy pay me in 17 gold dollar coins. 17.

Today I drove to work and was stopped at the ticket gate to the parking garage. Some lady was in front of me and she had clearly never been to a ticket gate before. She reached out her window but couldn't reach the button on the ticket machine, so she opened her car door to push it. I have seen people fail at this part, so we're off to a good start. She then does some motion that looks like she's grasping at something (I'm guessing the ticket) but just gets back inside her car and drives to the gate. The gate's still closed, so I'm confused.

Realising the gate doesn't open when you drive up to it, the woman reverses her car back to the ticket machine, leans out her window, and grabs the ticket. She drives back up to the gate. The gate's still closed, so I'm wondering why she thought anything would be different this time.

Realising a second time that the gate doesn't open when you drive up to it, she reverses back to the machine, pushes the button again, gets a fresh ticket, the gate opens, and then she drives through. Learning at its finest.

Best one I ever heard was at a friend's workplace.

Customer: "Is this a cinema?"
Him: "Yes. Yes, this is a cinema."
Customer: "Do you show movies?"
Him: "Yes. This is a cinema. We show movies here."
Customer: "Oh, okay then. What day is the Tuesday Specials on?"

Only in Australia.

I don't really work with people very often, but from the sidelines I can see a lot of stupid people I guess.

We hosted a website for a woman who had a very... interesting looking website design which was cluttered full of pictures of the ugliest dogs i've ever seen. She was apparently a breeder for these types of dogs. Her and a "rival breeder" I guess you could say got into some sort of argument which turned into a legal battle. The woman contacted us to take down her website because our client had used her name and images without her permission. I guess the real story is that both of these old crazy ladies were posting evil things about each other on their own websites about "inbreeding" and other shit.

Needless to say our client doesn't know shit, and all of her legal troubles basically fell on our company. After restoring old backups of her site which did not contain the name of the woman making complaints (which by the way she referred to as gods work, as it was a gift from god that we keep redundant backups of all of our clients data) the complaints continued to come, as she had either unknowingly or "not giving a shit"-ly left up a subdomain of more slander about the woman making these complaints. Needless to say we dropped her as a client because the amount of time spent on her was worth more than she was paying monthly for hosting.

And to top this all off, her ISP was People PC. I didn't even know People PC still existed. Also to clarify, not People PC DSL, but People PC dial-up. That shit is like fucking 7 dollar a month dial-up.


We also host a phone-sex operator who tried to offer recordings in exchange for free hosting.

foulcoon wrote:

We also host a phone-sex operator who tried to offer recordings in exchange for free hosting.

Did you accept?

Pokebis wrote:

foulcoon wrote:

We also host a phone-sex operator who tried to offer recordings in exchange for free hosting.

Did you accept?

Paying for porn why would he

When I was working in a hospital, an old man try to pay with a chicken alive.