today i was having a great day, i got to see my young cousin who i hadn't seen in a while and i got to spend time with some of my friends too, but when the sun started to set and the day slowly turned into night, and i got slowly anxious. in that moment i was just thinking,"why am I feeling like shit right now when i should just be so happy?" because i went from having great day to, literally worrying about everything.

so recently i had to face my own band teacher yell at me and tell me to "get off my own ass" because i forgot basically 3 things but they were important, and i forgot them because it was my first time doing a football game and i was so anxious about it i couldn't think properly. but the thing that stuck to my mind was that they told me that they were basically try and get me out of band because they feel like i shouldn't be there, and at this point i've dedicated about three of my life just towards band.

during the football the teacher even yelled at me in front of 200 other students, i was even told "it" was giving me a blank, dead, stare most of the time. as soon as the football game ended and i went to go see my parents, i just started crying. i cried and cried and cried, but all my parents did was literally just tell me to grow up and not "act like a girl." which i found really ignorant but i couldn't express that to them because i'm already in deep shit.

in that night of the football game i just was sobbing in silence, i couldn't express myself to anyone, at least that's what i thought. that very same night i actually vented out my feelings towards my best friend i've known for 2 years, and she listened to me, thought about what i said and gave me the feedback i needed in order to just not make me feel like absolute shit.

going back to the beginning, yes, i was really anxious all afternoon and i still am, actually. but i guess the overall message of this thread, in a subforum, for a game where people click circles, is that there are people you can just, like, you know, vent ur shit out to them and they'll listen. it's difficult to find the right person to listen to you and make you smile but when you find them, your world just changes.


im sorry for the really depressing thread, i just felt like sharing this and giving people some advice of my side of the story would be good? i guess.

Sounds like you are going through a pretty rough time in your life.

I don't have any advice or anything but i hope you feel better soon.

I read it all and I've got nothing to actually say, but I hope you'll feel better soon.

Also, during nighttime I guess it's "normal" to have these kind of thoughts. I mean, during the day you have to work, you have to go to school etc, and most of the times it's always a rush so you don't really have time to think. But then during the night, at least for me, when I'm alone and not surrounded by people I begin to think, think about what happened during the day, how I felt, but also thinking about the past. That's the biggest reason why I like night, it's the time when you can find some moments for yourself to understand you more I guess.

^ I hope I expressed myself decently since english is not my native language.

Unlike you, my parents always tell me to act like a girl
And i read it all, yes it was difficult indeed to find a person that always listen to you and cheer you up
I already have one tho even if he was a scum
Well, good luck on irl