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Camellia - Exit This Earth's Atomosphere

posted
Total Posts
7
[ Lilu ]
168 posts
Joined January 2015
Topic Starter
[ Lilu ]
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on May-11-17 at 7:38:19 PM

Artist: Camellia
Title: Exit This Earth's Atomosphere
BPM: 170
Filesize: 11357kb
Play Time: 05:29
Difficulties Available:
  1. 11.186 (5.85 stars, 1483 notes)
Download: Camellia - Exit This Earth's Atomosphere
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
This map is damn awesome!

One of my favourites.
I rushed the final part (after the last kiai) cos i couldnt wait to upload it :P
Feel free to mod it, i might go for approval!

Ty to the testplayers for feedback as i mapped it :3

Modders:
8Eight8Eight
Pennek

<3
Last edited by [ Lilu ] , edited 2 times in total.
greeeeeeeeg
105 posts
Joined August 2016
greeeeeeeeg
NM from my queue

00:04:494 (1) - whats up with this slider? the slider body overlap is a nice idea but it is way too overlapped, try making the slider body more clear
00:10:141 (1) - ^
00:15:788 (1) - ^
00:21:435 (1) - ^
01:01:318 (1) - the spacing here is too big, try moving this slider closer to the previous one (13.53x xD)
01:06:965 (1) - ^
01:12:612 (1) - thats better but still too far away imo
01:32:023 (1) - try to increase the slider velocity because the slider body is hardly visible
01:57:435 (4) - ^
02:39:612 (5) - use higher velocity pleeeeeeeeeeeease
02:39:788 (6) - ^
03:02:729 (1) - why is this a kick? fix pls
03:05:553 (1) - move that closer to the previous slider, 7.18x still quite big
03:11:200 (1) - thats what the spacing should look like
03:14:023 (1) - you sure love space
03:38:376 (2) - how about ctrl G this thing to get this juicy circular flow going on
04:49:494 (2) - feels awkward to play, maybe try to point the kickslider into some other direction

short mod as i mentioned, solid map, good luck! here, have a star
[ Lilu ]
168 posts
Joined January 2015
Topic Starter
[ Lilu ]

8eight8eight wrote:

NM from my queue

00:04:494 (1) - whats up with this slider? the slider body overlap is a nice idea but it is way too overlapped, try making the slider body more clear I dont see too much of an issue with it, its readable and playable. It also needs to be overlapped a fair bit for it to flow properly.
00:10:141 (1) - ^
00:15:788 (1) - ^
00:21:435 (1) - ^
01:01:318 (1) - the spacing here is too big, try moving this slider closer to the previous one (13.53x xD) fixed
01:06:965 (1) - ^ i think the higher spacing on this one is fine, as the synth sound starts on that note, so proper emphasis is needed
01:12:612 (1) - thats better but still too far away imo same spacing as aforementioned fix, so ill leave it
01:32:023 (1) - try to increase the slider velocity because the slider body is hardly visible i mapped this sound and similar sounds with the same slider throughout the map. but i did make it more readable.
01:57:435 (4) - ^
02:39:612 (5) - use higher velocity pleeeeeeeeeeeease i made first slider have higher velocity but second i left the same
02:39:788 (6) - ^
03:02:729 (1) - why is this a kick? fix pls oh lol, my green line wasnt on the white tick
03:05:553 (1) - move that closer to the previous slider, 7.18x still quite big emphasising a stronger sound than the below mentioned example, so i believe the spacing is justified
03:11:200 (1) - thats what the spacing should look like
03:14:023 (1) - you sure love space yep xd
03:38:376 (2) - how about ctrl G this thing to get this juicy circular flow going on no need to imo, that section is mapped with symmetry, and its supposed to have a sort of upward, rising feel, due to music geetting louder
04:49:494 (2) - feels awkward to play, maybe try to point the kickslider into some other direction will consider, but i like it as is for now, if more peopleask to change it i will

short mod as i mentioned, solid map, good luck! here, have a star
<3 ty so much for mod
Pennek
492 posts
Joined December 2013
Pennek
hi from modqueue o/
Sorry if some of this write up sounds quite harsh. I'm pretty tired when writing this. I really like your map though! ;)

[General]

- You have an unused file: "Technoheart.full.1565365.png"
- You also have quite a big .osz-file. The rank-guidelines say to keep filesizes under 10mb for maps without a storyboard. Your map is currently sitting at 13.6mb. Deleting the unused background will get you down to 11mb. I'd keep it as is after deleting it, but downsize the current background if it's commented on again.
- 04:30:259 (2) - You have an unrankable slider- This is offscreen
I'd disable the countdown and enable widescreen support.

[11.186]

General: Consistency is key for the same sound. Changes come in the map when there are changes in the song.

00:13:318 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - This section becomes more and more intense, but you make the spacing lower. I'd suggest keeping the spacing equal across the board (except for the first note which is stronger)
00:16:141 (1,2,1,2,1,2) - Here you do it correctly, but I don't see the reason why these are spaced so differently when it's the same drum-sound. I could see the reasoning if it was bigger because of the increasing intensity. But either you follow the drumsound and keep them the same, or you increase the spacing to signal the increasing intensity. The same goes for the above point.
00:18:965 (1,2,1,2,1,2) - ^
00:21:788 (1,2,1,2,1) - ^
00:25:847 (2) - weak sound, can remove it
00:24:612 (1,2,3,4,5) - can do this, you go from big to small spacing, but it needs to be uniform with the parts that are the same eg. --> 00:26:023 (1,2,3,4,5) - I'd suggest you just change 00:26:023 (1,2,3,4,5) - to what you already did.
01:01:141 (2) - missed sound on red tick. alternatively you can just short the slider. this is also done in other places, I won't mention them again.
00:58:494 (1) - I like the 1-2 pattern you have going here. Again consistency is key. with the above change this needs to reflect the 1-2 pattern aswell.
01:02:729 (1) - NC remove - Since you break the 1-2 pattern and follow the other sound, I suggest removing the NC to reflect the sound untill there is a strong beat again.
01:06:259 (1) - ^
01:07:318 (2) - Strong sound, needs to be mapped actively (with clicking). This is also done in other places, I won't mention them again.
01:21:082 (1,2) - this is one sound
01:31:671 (1,2) - These are sooo weak, when I first testplayed the map I thought there weren't any sounds at all. I'd call this overmapping. You can fix this by just deleting them
01:32:023 (1) - I'd give this a ctrl+g to emphasize the next sound.
01:34:494 (1) - Since you follow the drums in this section you need to map this strong drum sound. You can do this by turning 01:34:847 (2,3) - into a slider aswell. If you don't want to do that alternatively you can map the wub-sound, but that would require a remap of the next notes.
01:35:553 (1,2,3,4,5) - I like how you drive the flow here with the rotation, but I'd like for these to rotated -90-ish degrees to be emphasized better, this also leads into you next note
02:00:612 (1) - Beautiful streams
02:10:934 (2,3,1,2) - I like this a lot
02:14:729 (1,2) - Suggest making these into 1 slider to follow vocals. Unrankable to map a beat which isn't there.
02:24:082 (2,3) - I don't think these two give the sound justice, you can use a slider instead
02:26:288 (2,3,4,1,2,3,4,5) - These seem randomly placed. Try to use some logic. This can be setting them in a grid, stacking them in previous spots, using the same pattern, etc. You do this really well here 03:10:494 (1,2,1,2,3,1,2,1,2,3,4,1) -
03:25:318 (2,3) - this is one sound - make it into one slider
04:03:082 (6,1,2,3,4) - sweet
04:18:788 (2,3) - These two are a different sound, I'd disconnect them from the stream. It's okay to have spacing to the stream to emphasize it.
04:34:141 (1,2) - blanket
04:35:553 (1,2) - ^

Endnote: A lot of these issues repeat themselves, I'll let you find them yourself so you learn how to identify issues. You can reuse my reasoning when looking through your map. :)




Sorry for the heavy mod, I hope it helps you! Good luck with your map!
[ Lilu ]
168 posts
Joined January 2015
Topic Starter
[ Lilu ]

Pennek wrote:

hi from modqueue o/
Sorry if some of this write up sounds quite harsh. I'm pretty tired when writing this. I really like your map though! ;)

[General]

- You have an unused file: "Technoheart.full.1565365.png" deleted
- You also have quite a big .osz-file. The rank-guidelines say to keep filesizes under 10mb for maps without a storyboard. Your map is currently sitting at 13.6mb. Deleting the unused background will get you down to 11mb. I'd keep it as is after deleting it, but downsize the current background if it's commented on again. ill compress bg or mp3 if this map is potentially rankable
- 04:30:259 (2) - You have an unrankable slider- This is offscreen did you used ctrl shift a to find this? because mine doesnt say its offscreen
I'd disable the countdown and enable widescreen support. done

[11.186]

General: Consistency is key for the same sound. Changes come in the map when there are changes in the song.

00:13:318 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - This section becomes more and more intense, but you make the spacing lower. I'd suggest keeping the spacing equal across the board (except for the first note which is stronger)
00:16:141 (1,2,1,2,1,2) - Here you do it correctly, but I don't see the reason why these are spaced so differently when it's the same drum-sound. I could see the reasoning if it was bigger because of the increasing intensity. But either you follow the drumsound and keep them the same, or you increase the spacing to signal the increasing intensity. The same goes for the above point.
00:18:965 (1,2,1,2,1,2) - ^
00:21:788 (1,2,1,2,1) - ^ i redid all these
00:25:847 (2) - weak sound, can remove it
00:24:612 (1,2,3,4,5) - can do this, you go from big to small spacing, but it needs to be uniform with the parts that are the same eg. --> 00:26:023 (1,2,3,4,5) - I'd suggest you just change 00:26:023 (1,2,3,4,5) - to what you already did. done
01:01:141 (2) - missed sound on red tick. alternatively you can just short the slider. this is also done in other places, I won't mention them again.
00:58:494 (1) - I like the 1-2 pattern you have going here. Again consistency is key. with the above change this needs to reflect the 1-2 pattern aswell.
01:02:729 (1) - NC remove - Since you break the 1-2 pattern and follow the other sound, I suggest removing the NC to reflect the sound untill there is a strong beat again.
01:06:259 (1) - ^ Past 3 suggestions kinda confused me, would like clarifications if you can be bothered, if not its alright, im sure it will pop up in future mods
01:07:318 (2) - Strong sound, needs to be mapped actively (with clicking). This is also done in other places, I won't mention them again.
01:21:082 (1,2) - this is one sound
01:31:671 (1,2) - These are sooo weak, when I first testplayed the map I thought there weren't any sounds at all. I'd call this overmapping. You can fix this by just deleting them
01:32:023 (1) - I'd give this a ctrl+g to emphasize the next sound. done
01:34:494 (1) - Since you follow the drums in this section you need to map this strong drum sound. You can do this by turning 01:34:847 (2,3) - into a slider aswell. If you don't want to do that alternatively you can map the wub-sound, but that would require a remap of the next notes. fixed in my own way
01:35:553 (1,2,3,4,5) - I like how you drive the flow here with the rotation, but I'd like for these to rotated -90-ish degrees to be emphasized better, this also leads into you next note remapped
02:00:612 (1) - Beautiful streams <3
02:10:934 (2,3,1,2) - I like this a lot <3
02:14:729 (1,2) - Suggest making these into 1 slider to follow vocals. Unrankable to map a beat which isn't there.
02:24:082 (2,3) - I don't think these two give the sound justice, you can use a slider instead done
02:26:288 (2,3,4,1,2,3,4,5) - These seem randomly placed. Try to use some logic. This can be setting them in a grid, stacking them in previous spots, using the same pattern, etc. You do this really well here 03:10:494 (1,2,1,2,3,1,2,1,2,3,4,1) - kinda fixed
03:25:318 (2,3) - this is one sound - make it into one slider
04:03:082 (6,1,2,3,4) - sweet ty? doesnt seem like anything special to me :3
04:18:788 (2,3) - These two are a different sound, I'd disconnect them from the stream. It's okay to have spacing to the stream to emphasize it. done, i didnt have it disconnected cos i find it hard to play/read
04:34:141 (1,2) - blanket
04:35:553 (1,2) - ^ blanket mods smh, kidding, fixed

Endnote: A lot of these issues repeat themselves, I'll let you find them yourself so you learn how to identify issues. You can reuse my reasoning when looking through your map. :)
i do have reasoninng for some of the stuff you pointed out but ive currently got a massive headache...
might update mod later


Sorry for the heavy mod, I hope it helps you! Good luck with your map!
thanks for the mod c:
if i left stuff blank its because i probably didn't change it. you can pm me if you want my reasoning, i'm kinda tired developed headache over the course of the response, sucks being sick.

ps. did you want me to mod one of your maps?
Pennek
492 posts
Joined December 2013
Pennek
01:01:141 (2) - missed sound on red tick. alternatively you can just short the slider. this is also done in other places, I won't mention them again.
00:58:494 (1) - I like the 1-2 pattern you have going here. Again consistency is key. with the above change this needs to reflect the 1-2 pattern aswell.
01:02:729 (1) - NC remove - Since you break the 1-2 pattern and follow the other sound, I suggest removing the NC to reflect the sound untill there is a strong beat again.
01:06:259 (1) - ^ Past 3 suggestions kinda confused me, would like clarifications if you can be bothered, if not its alright, im sure it will pop up in future mods



No problem, I'll explain a bit. If you remove the slider at 01:00:965 (2) - there's a sound on the red tick that needs to be mapped. It's a very strong sound, you can't just ignore it.

As for the second point, it's tough to explain it in another way. It's basically that this https://puu.sh/vMxe2/17c073ddd6.jpg plays badly after playing this https://puu.sh/vMx9y/3b5fdf2200.jpg. And if you change point #1, so that the green #2 ( https://puu.sh/vMxe2/17c073ddd6.jpg ) is shorter, this looks and plays awkward. My suggestion is then to follow the 1-2 pattern that you already have. Something like this https://puu.sh/vMxn0/8ce004f8b8.jpg , if you don't want them to flow like this you can change it up, but if you do this they need to go 2 and 2.

3rd point: Normally NC's are used on strong sounds to signal a change in the rhythm. Here there is no strong beat or change in the rhythm, that is why there needs to be no NC.


As for the unrankable sliderbody, you can see that the body is outside the playfield. This is unrankable, but AImod doesn't take it into account.


I hope this helps, if you still don't understand something feel free to message me ingame :)
And no, you don't need to mod one of my maps, I am doing this to practise. ;)
JeZag
518 posts
Joined August 2013
JeZag
Long, long, long ago in a galaxy far far away, I said that I'l mod this. This is that mod.

In general, i think your green combo color is too vivid compared to the light tints that are the other colors. Consider making it lighter?

00:23:200 (1) - this slider looks awk to me cuz the first half is too straight
00:23:200 (1,2,3,4,1) - I quickly staked other ranked vers of Atomosphere, and they purposely dont map this part cause the timing's sorta fucked up
00:34:494 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1) - this part can afford more spacing, especially the start, cause imo the 1/4 beats are stronger compared to previous sections
00:41:553 (1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3) - consider spicing up by increasing Slider Velocity here and spacing too. Get them H Y P E D.
01:00:965 (2) - i dont see a particular reason for this hold. same with the other holds
00:58:494 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1) - for this whole section and onwards, keep the frequency of your NC consistent, because its not like theres anything that separates certain parts more distinctly than others (other than your patterns)
Also, for this part in general, you can afford to be more abstract and have less structure and use more hitcircles. Makes a inactive part just a bit more engaging
01:06:965 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,5) - i would stack them up less and make them touch but not directly on top of each other. just a bit of movement between the ones that arent jumps (indeed, stacking works better if you wanna emphasize the repeated synth, but because thats the SAME note the whole time, then it wouldnt justify the jumps)
01:26:023 (2,3) - these are both better a tad bit longer and sustained
01:29:376 (3) - this could cut out sooner
01:34:494 (1,2,3,4) - this anti flow sorta cuts the "smooth" mood a bit imo xd
01:51:435 (1,2) - i sorta dont agree the use of this cause before this you dont follow the 1/2 rhythm of the voice in the BG, so why start here? (even 01:52:847 (3,4) - doesnt)
02:02:023 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - over here you can already start increasing distance
02:08:376 (1) - i recommend making this look cooler
02:11:906 (3) - what you did here is ok, but consider also putting more emphasis here as the start of the new phrase
02:14:023 (1,2) - would be wew if u could blanket these two somehow
02:16:406 (2,1) - i know you want to make these patterns match, but cause of the distance between them you can afford a lot more space between
02:19:671 (1,2) - again with the meh shape on the first. I would like it to be a bit weirder like the 2nd cuz the two are sorta same sound but different emphasis.
02:23:906 (1,2) - think this distance is overdone for not enough emphasis
02:48:612 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1) - this really feels too underwhelming in its context
03:05:200 (4) - same things here with the sustained as before (i dont think they fit). Also, you can diversify with more hitcircles n stuff
03:30:259 (1,2) - same things as before (maek longer)
03:30:259 (1,2,1) - i would just make this hitcircles, the repeat sorta kills flow
03:58:847 (1) - i would make this one fast, not slow (the sound sounds frantic rather than slowed down)
04:17:200 (1,1) - try to aim for a bit more consistency sometimes. altho different rhythm, i feel like these two should have same SV cause they got the same feel.
04:21:435 (1,1) - try to stack their heads rather than tail, it feels like more of an emphasis.
04:34:141 (1,2) - you can fix this overlap real quick
05:10:494 (1,2,1,2,3,1) - dont change the direction thaaat much during a pattern. maybe 15 degrees is ok but this literally goes half of a complete 180 (haHAA MATH)
this applies to the others too.
05:23:553 (3,4,5,6,1) - right now this is more spaced than some of the streams during kiai. make it more compressed


this map has got a buncha nice things lying here and there but it needs to be unified under well-organized mapping!
good luck!
BanchoBot
w00t p00t
34,830 posts
Here since the beginning
BanchoBot
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