Kawano Marina - Weight of the World Kowaretasekainouta

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riffy
Assuming 00:48:767 (7,8) - these are sliders to fit the vocals, you mihgt want to replace 00:49:578 (1) - with circles to follow the same idea and represent instruemnts. Otherwise, you're contadicting your own ideas in the next pattern. The snapping of the slidertails is also kind of a questionable matter to me as I feel like they could've been snapped in a better way.

oh, and I have overlooked one more thing. 01:29:916 (3,4,5,6,1) - can you explain the way flow works here? If I got it right, 01:30:524 (4,5,6) - are drop-offs, therefore, the transition to (1) has a pretty sudden angle change and feels broken.
Kalibe

_sponez wrote:

Hello!

  1. 02:13:902 (1) - This slider must end here 02:14:308 and here 02:14:511 need circle. i want to express this powerful deep sound with 3/4

Bakari wrote:

Hey!

[Believing]

[Kalibe]
  1. 03:11:470 (3,4,5) - all three of them sound very similar, yet they are spaced in 3 different ways. One is stacked, the first one has a jump and the last one uses regular spacing. I would probably just space all three of these objects to form a small jumpy pattern. tried to fix, hope it's fine now
  2. 03:42:078 (3,4,5) - let's reverse the pattern and space 3-4 close as the sound on (4) is really weak and then give (5) a small jump as it gets more tense. What do you think? did something diffirent
thx for mods~

http://puu.sh/w3mLq/04fc169402.rar
Topic Starter
Lilyanna

Bakari wrote:

Assuming 00:48:767 (7,8) - these are sliders to fit the vocals, you mihgt want to replace 00:49:578 (1) - with circles to follow the same idea and represent instruemnts. Otherwise, you're contadicting your own ideas in the next pattern. The snapping of the slidertails is also kind of a questionable matter to me as I feel like they could've been snapped in a better way. there is actualy a vocal there in the downbeat with the piano if i am not wrong also idk bout snapping not my fault she doesnt sing to the music xd ok thats at least what i thought im gonna remap this part

oh, and I have overlooked one more thing. 01:29:916 (3,4,5,6,1) - can you explain the way flow works here? If I got it right, 01:30:524 (4,5,6) - are drop-offs, therefore, the transition to (1) has a pretty sudden angle change and feels broken. the sudden angle change in intentional the (1) is a downbeat a new pattern and a strong sound so iwant take new turn and break flow tom express it better
Monstrata
Do you still need me for bubble? Looks like you might have enough BN's now.
riffy
Not really, go ahead, Monstrata. I'm okay with the explanations, but I'd rather not bubble it.
Topic Starter
Lilyanna

Monstrata wrote:

Do you still need me for bubble? Looks like you might have enough BN's now.
seems like i need you.
Monstrata
Believing
hp 7 is pretty high for a song like this... I think 6 is enough.

lilyanna
00:18:970 (5,6,7) - 00:22:213 (5,6,7) - etc... I think perfect triangles fits ur aesthetics better.
00:38:430 (4,5,6,7) - Like visually, they just look a bit off unnecessarily i think
00:51:402 (4,5,6) - More consistency in DS?
01:06:605 (2,3,4) - This is good~
04:39:443 (1,2) - Can you make this blanket better or something, it looks really bad ;c

kalibe
03:02:551 (1,2) - Ehh blanket
Topic Starter
Lilyanna

Monstrata wrote:

Believing
hp 7 is pretty high for a song like this... I think 6 is enough. fixed

lilyanna
00:18:970 (5,6,7) - 00:22:213 (5,6,7) - etc... I think perfect triangles fits ur aesthetics better. fixed
00:38:430 (4,5,6,7) - Like visually, they just look a bit off unnecessarily i think i dont really get what u mean :(
00:51:402 (4,5,6) - More consistency in DS? omg thats ugly fixed
01:06:605 (2,3,4) - This is good~
04:39:443 (1,2) - Can you make this blanket better or something, it looks really bad ;c eh fixed

kalibe
03:02:551 (1,2) - Ehh blanket
thank u monstrata im try polish more stuff in beginning like u said before updating x)

edit: fixed some stuff and fixed the blanket for Kalibe updated.

i guess Monstrata can just rebubble since he already modded it as for 2nd bubbled!
Monstrata

Lilyanna wrote:





Topic Starter
Lilyanna
XD thank you Monstrata !

edit: k am need pop i guess because i noticed there pattern changed in kalibe part that made the sb look weird so im wait for sb fix and reupdated!
bright side we have enough bubbles lol
Monstrata
Tbh, that didn't really require a pop, you could just poke next BN about it hehe. Anyways, renominated.
Kagetsu
hi

[General]
  1. your sb is broken? i dunno... it doesn't show the mapper names nor the songs lyrics, there are a lot of unused files.
  2. any official source for the metadata?


[Believing]
  1. 00:32:146 (6) - as previous rhythms were following vocals, this could do the same by using 1/2 instead
  2. 00:48:767 (7,8,1) - snapping is questionable... 00:49:443 - although this may sound like 1/6, most of the vocal notes in the song are off, i'd rather use 1/4 because it's more predictable, and it sounds better
  3. 00:57:078 (2) -01:10:051 (2) - this is off aswell, and it's also inconsistent compared with stuff like 02:43:092 (1,2,3) - or 02:56:065 (1,2,3) - , please make it consistent
  4. 01:03:159 (2) - this thing being a circle doesn't go well with the song imo, it kinda blends too much with piano, taking off the emphasis those notes need
  5. 03:53:632 (1,2,3,4) - i don't really agree with these rhythms, you're mapping two layers of the song at the same time which results in an unpredictable rhythm... personally i would go with something like this
  6. 04:00:930 (1,2,3,4) - kinda the same thing as previous, i believe 04:00:119 (1,2,3,4) - are following the strings, if so, then the jumps on 04:00:930 (1,2,3,4) - doesn't make much sense because you're mapping two different layers of the song using the same concepts
  7. 04:08:024 (4,5) - i don't really get why this jump is so big, it feels unbalanced if we consider that there's nothing different compared to the rest of the section
  8. 04:10:659 (1,2) - i get the idea behind these long sliders but it feels kinda undermapped for my taste, there are still some strong beats in the music such as 04:11:267 - 04:12:889 - etc... not to mention that the low sv combined with low object density feels unbalanced compared to the rest of the section which is not too different to this one
  9. 04:18:565 (6) -04:44:511 (6) - 04:57:484 (6) - most of these shapes look irregular, as if there wasn't too much effort on making them properly, not really an issue but i guess it's worth to mention


.
-sandAI
I wont be home till the 6th so i wont be able to review the sb until then sorry
Topic Starter
Lilyanna

Kagetsu wrote:

hi

[General]
  1. your sb is broken? i dunno... it doesn't show the mapper names nor the songs lyrics, there are a lot of unused files.
  2. any official source for the metadata? t/579817/start=15 this quote from Iamkwan pm xd (scroll down the page last post)


[Believing]
  1. 00:32:146 (6) - as previous rhythms were following vocals, this could do the same by using 1/2 instead fixed
  2. 00:48:767 (7,8,1) - snapping is questionable... 00:49:443 - although this may sound like 1/6, most of the vocal notes in the song are off, i'd rather use 1/4 because it's more predictable, and it sounds better they were 1/4 fixed and i even felt uncomfortable little with because they the only different snaps xd
  3. 00:57:078 (2) -01:10:051 (2) - this is off aswell, and it's also inconsistent compared with stuff like 02:43:092 (1,2,3) - or 02:56:065 (1,2,3) - , please make it consistent fixed
  4. 01:03:159 (2) - this thing being a circle doesn't go well with the song imo, it kinda blends too much with piano, taking off the emphasis those notes need removed it xd
  5. 03:53:632 (1,2,3,4) - i don't really agree with these rhythms, you're mapping two layers of the song at the same time which results in an unpredictable rhythm... personally i would go with something like this there is really soft drums in the bg if i am not wrong if u listen carefully idk i kept them but i changed something small next pattern i made this clickable 03:55:254 -
  6. 04:00:930 (1,2,3,4) - kinda the same thing as previous, i believe 04:00:119 (1,2,3,4) - are following the strings, if so, then the jumps on 04:00:930 (1,2,3,4) - doesn't make much sense because you're mapping two different layers of the song using the same concepts i mapped 2 different layers with hitcircles that doesnt mean they mapped same since the first layer 04:00:119 (1,2,3,4) - not so big jumps and express a specific flow for that sound and second layer is 04:00:930 (1,2,3,4) - that has bigger jumpas and different flow that express different sound like the drum so for me they are not mapped the same
  7. 04:08:024 (4,5) - i don't really get why this jump is so big, it feels unbalanced if we consider that there's nothing different compared to the rest of the section lowed the jumps
  8. 04:10:659 (1,2) - i get the idea behind these long sliders but it feels kinda undermapped for my taste, there are still some strong beats in the music such as 04:11:267 - 04:12:889 - etc... not to mention that the low sv combined with low object density feels unbalanced compared to the rest of the section which is not too different to this one since you not the first one who said this i guess i change fixed xd
  9. 04:18:565 (6) -04:44:511 (6) - 04:57:484 (6) - most of these shapes look irregular, as if there wasn't too much effort on making them properly, not really an issue but i guess it's worth to mention polished more symmetrycal nodes with grid snap


.
thx alot for the mod if u disagree with something in my reply feel free to say so i can make more changes :p

@-Vanilla i guess we can wait its okay x)

Edit: fixed storyboard and updated!
-sandAI
dank but with an R instead

dark
Xinely
choose randomly from pigeon queue

i might wrong due downloaded this 3 days ago.. but on my side "sb\lite.png" is unused file

diff :
- 00:36:200 (8) - the drum is strong here, why not try make a bit jump to emphasis it better? example ctrl+g and move to 64,228
- 00:49:173 (8) - similar with above, might try ctrl+g or tweak the placement
- 00:50:592 (3) - any reason why spacing is different here?
- 01:11:470 (5,6,7,8,1) - somehow the star pattern design is off here
- 01:23:024 (5) - i would prefer move this to 160,232 to make a bit higher jump for emphasis vocal on next slider
- 01:34:173 (3) - drum whistle fits to emphasis the piano imo
- 01:37:213 (7) - the jump is weird. you cant hear any sound here but its mapped with higher spacing than 01:37:416 (8) - which has strong drum sound. i would say move 01:37:213 (7) - to 128,280
- 01:43:902 (6,7) - consistency shape for aesthetic pls?
- 01:57:686 - raise the volume to 40%. i cant hear the hitsound
- 02:24:848 (4,5) - if its supposed for blanket, pls fix it
- 02:48:565 (5,6) - ^
- 03:15:524 (1) - a bit weird aesthetic i think. would prefer move to 332,352 for at least be a mirror aesthetic with (2)
- 03:44:713 (1) - same as 01:57:686 -
- 03:58:091 (3) - it has weak sound but mapped with jump ee. i would say reduce the spacing even a bit like 284,304 to make at least difference spacing between 1 to 2 and 2 to 3

seems you have t2 bn already for qualify, just poke me if you need me but my goal is about writing some stuff i think can improve first
Topic Starter
Lilyanna

Xinely wrote:

choose randomly from pigeon queue hello

i might wrong due downloaded this 3 days ago.. but on my side "sb\lite.png" is unused file removed

diff :
- 00:36:200 (8) - the drum is strong here, why not try make a bit jump to emphasis it better? example ctrl+g and move to 64,228 agree fixed
- 00:49:173 (8) - similar with above, might try ctrl+g or tweak the placement fixed
- 00:50:592 (3) - any reason why spacing is different here? >w< fixed
- 01:11:470 (5,6,7,8,1) - somehow the star pattern design is off here fixed
- 01:23:024 (5) - i would prefer move this to 160,232 to make a bit higher jump for emphasis vocal on next sliderfixed
- 01:34:173 (3) - drum whistle fits to emphasis the piano imo fixed and to be consistent on rest of all kiais
- 01:37:213 (7) - the jump is weird. you cant hear any sound here but its mapped with higher spacing than 01:37:416 (8) - which has strong drum sound. i would say move 01:37:213 (7) - to 128,280
- 01:43:902 (6,7) - consistency shape for aesthetic pls? fixed
- 01:57:686 - raise the volume to 40%. i cant hear the hitsound fixed
- 02:24:848 (4,5) - if its supposed for blanket, pls fix it fix
- 02:48:565 (5,6) - ^ fix
- 03:15:524 (1) - a bit weird aesthetic i think. would prefer move to 332,352 for at least be a mirror aesthetic with (2) fix
- 03:44:713 (1) - same as 01:57:686 - i dont get what u mean if about hitsound i think this fits okay
- 03:58:091 (3) - it has weak sound but mapped with jump ee. i would say reduce the spacing even a bit like 284,304 to make at least difference spacing between 1 to 2 and 2 to 3 fixed

seems you have t2 bn already for qualify, just poke me if you need me but my goal is about writing some stuff i think can improve first
Thank you again it was really helpful x)
ill poke kalibe for his part and if he allow me all do changes for him since they are minor changes.

kalibe let me fix for him so updated
Kagetsu
  1. 00:25:051 (4,5) - i don't get why this is stacked. looks inconsistent compared to 00:18:565 (4,5) - 00:21:808 (4,5) -
  2. 04:13:902 - the sv change is too sudden for such a high pitch, could gradually decrease sv instead
  3. 04:41:470 (2,3) - vs 04:42:686 (6,1) - kinda dislike how you're using stacks for two different time gaps


map is fine now. you could probably ask someone to confirm the lyrics tho
Topic Starter
Lilyanna

Kagetsu wrote:

  1. 00:25:051 (4,5) - i don't get why this is stacked. looks inconsistent compared to 00:18:565 (4,5) - 00:21:808 (4,5) - fixed
  2. 04:13:902 - the sv change is too sudden for such a high pitch, could gradually decrease sv instead fixed
  3. 04:41:470 (2,3) - vs 04:42:686 (6,1) - kinda dislike how you're using stacks for two different time gaps fixed removed second stack


map is fine now. you could probably ask someone to confirm the lyrics tho
i will im looking for someone know japanes lo thx again updated!
Pulse
[General]

  1. MONACA on tags;
  2. Remove japanese version from tags, unnecessary;
  3. Fix title name. Original title is Weight of the World/壊レタ世界ノ歌, Romanized Title must be equal. Also, I don't think that Kowaretasekainouta should stay together as shows on nier website. Idk if I'm right but it seems like Japan has their on "method" to romanize texts, and well, imo romanization should be the most western "friendly" possible, so consider changing to "Weight of the World/Kowareta Sekai no Uta", fixing name spacing and consistance;
  4. I think you should change Source to "ニーア オートマタ" and add romanized game name to tags;

    [Storyboard]
  5. There's a kanji error on 10th lyrics sb line (9.png): The 4th kanji is wrong, the correct would be 無, instead we have some kanji with the radical 手.
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