So I've been thinking longer about this - and I guess it won't happen immediately, so I will just go the slow way.
For weeks and months my moderation activity went back significantly in osu! - mostly because of the lack of interest but also due other priorities I put over osu!. Actually I made thoughts of quitting moderation but my feelings are still mixed and I still don't feel sure to resign from the staff or just to leave it the way it is right now - I just feel that I owe someone something for staying as moderator, and it doesn't feel right at all to be inactive and not to *moderate* while being a moderator (just as reference but personally to silence people isn't what moderation itself is).
I feel tired of being a moderator - I probably exaggerate at this point and I understand if you think like that. I am not saying that I do my job well but it is somewhat exhausting to put so much energy in this game - not only because of moderating the in-game chat and forum but also for contributing as modder and mapper - and I think after 76 months (six years and four months) of coming online for nearly every day I think I need a healthier distance.
Actually, the only reason why I do this thread is to leave out my thoughts about this. I did talk with my special one about this already but I felt doing this thread right now. It's actually surprising how much I changed my opinion to OT over the last 12 months. It's almost scary. I remember well at my first days when I posted with less than 20 into OT while I got bashed out of it - well, that doesn't belong here right now. I have to admit: I had my fun here, and I still do. It actually makes me think about myself and how I think about other things which are similar to OT.
So what do I actually want to reach with this thread? Nothing. What do I want to say with this thread? Mostly nothing. Does anything change for you? I doubt so, at least I don't expect this happens. I actually had so much more to say but idk.
I think the video can reflect my current mood right now very well:
For weeks and months my moderation activity went back significantly in osu! - mostly because of the lack of interest but also due other priorities I put over osu!. Actually I made thoughts of quitting moderation but my feelings are still mixed and I still don't feel sure to resign from the staff or just to leave it the way it is right now - I just feel that I owe someone something for staying as moderator, and it doesn't feel right at all to be inactive and not to *moderate* while being a moderator (just as reference but personally to silence people isn't what moderation itself is).
I feel tired of being a moderator - I probably exaggerate at this point and I understand if you think like that. I am not saying that I do my job well but it is somewhat exhausting to put so much energy in this game - not only because of moderating the in-game chat and forum but also for contributing as modder and mapper - and I think after 76 months (six years and four months) of coming online for nearly every day I think I need a healthier distance.
Actually, the only reason why I do this thread is to leave out my thoughts about this. I did talk with my special one about this already but I felt doing this thread right now. It's actually surprising how much I changed my opinion to OT over the last 12 months. It's almost scary. I remember well at my first days when I posted with less than 20 into OT while I got bashed out of it - well, that doesn't belong here right now. I have to admit: I had my fun here, and I still do. It actually makes me think about myself and how I think about other things which are similar to OT.
So what do I actually want to reach with this thread? Nothing. What do I want to say with this thread? Mostly nothing. Does anything change for you? I doubt so, at least I don't expect this happens. I actually had so much more to say but idk.
I think the video can reflect my current mood right now very well: