So, I don't want to bother reading the rest of the thread because of all the irrelevant shit that's going on here. All I want to say is that OP, even if you may stumble upon misadventures such as what you've said. I still bid you good luck, I'm not going to say anything like "don't be like this", "don't do this", since all you really need to do is to be yourself. I know I've said that before but is there really anything else that would work? You can't change your identity nor how you do stuff, but what you can change is your approach to things. Confidence and believing in yourself is key. Look for ways to up your game such as knowing how to style (you could watch videos, you live in Sweden so I'm sure that H&M is everywhere, you could just get clothes off there), learn proper hygiene (trimming unwanted facial hair, treating acne, losing weight, taking a shower often), improve your communication skills (the hardest part of them all, but you'll get used to it eventually. you do not need to try hard at this part because it will come naturally. start asking help from friends, if they're female that'd be even better.), learn proper manners (be considerate to the one you're talking to, acknowledge personal spaces by not being much of a snitch, be enthusiastic enough if you really want to catch their attention)
Always remember that, when trying to talk to someone, try to have them as friends first. People don't fall in love with strangers, it's about time you get to know someone who you don't know first then start flirting when you two have started to mesh and be comfortable with each other. Flirt bit by bit, show her you're worth noticing, that you're unique, then it will all fall right into place.
I bid you good luck in your agenda, OP. You seem like a decent and understanding person, and I know that someday, someone would be able to appreciate you for who you are and perhaps consider you as someone special and have you as a significant other. Having a relationship is never too late. I'm currently still in the process of healing as I broke up with my ex months ago (although we've been talking a lot again), but each person's experiences differ so if anything bad does happen, you just have to accept it, move on, and try again. Never let bad experiences cripple you and prevent you from improving as a person because that's what counts, the experiences you get and the memories you obtain. I've had a handful of relationships irl since middle school and I think those have really helped me grow as an individual. While relationships may be seen as a burden for others, as long as you've found one that isn't toxic, it's absolutely essential. It doesn't even matter if it ends on a bad note, as long as you enjoyed the most of it and learned from it.
