ViolentBoo wrote:

- Easy -
00:14:594 (5,1) - Avoid overlapping! fixed^^
00:23:594 (1,1) - Weird NC. I know you want to emphasize 00:23:594 (1) but that might be discouraging to a new player. ok~
I know there are a lot of places that overlap, with good reasoning, but I try to avoid overlapping at all costs when mapping easies. Although I'm pretty sure it's fine. ok littele changed
- Normal -
00:05:406 (4) - You know how this angles inward? Why not outward? Flow seems a bit better, move 4 to the right. As for the rest of those, I like how adding a note here seems to represent the song well but I feel like putting those notes in such drastic angles may be upsetting to the player. Although they do seem fine, keep that in mind when considering flow. You may need to change a few. For the first half at least, when kakai hits in, completely ignore this section.
00:09:156 (7) - Example of a good one, 00:09:906 (2) - Example of a strange one. ok littele changed

GOOD LUNCH!
Maybe check out t/536476 ?

yasporuben wrote:

Hi there! Second mod ever, so still a bit noob at this. Take everything with a grain of salt.

In general, the maps in this set have 2 problems. Slight lack in structural change and some questionable aesthetics.

[Structure]
Across all difficulties, the section 00:25:469 (1) - 01:02:969 (6) (times taken from insane) is mapped in largely the same way.
The section exists out of 3 musical segments :
- A slow part with mostly vocals
- A part where a beat gets added
- A part where the vocals change, and guitar sounds get added

Even though you made small changes to reflect this, I personally feel like you could add more emphasis to the difference of the segments.
For example, in the Insane you could
- use more slow sliders in the first segment
- then increase the note density for the second segment to bring the beat out
- and finally increase spacing a bit when the guitar gets added.
That's just a suggestion, for more ideas on how to make structural changes, you can check out the part of this video I linked.
...? sorry no change. I don't think there is a problem. this is my mapping style. not unrankable.

[Aesthetics]
ok edit now
Overall, the visuals in this set feels like they could use some work. Of course, this is almost entirely subjective, so it's fine if you disagree.
I made a few examples for each difficulty of what I think could be done to make them more visually pleasing. This is especially important for Easy and Normal difficulties, as visuals play a big role there.
There are some more cases where it applies though.

Examples Easy

The problem in the Easy difficulty is mostly in some weird overlaps

00:22:844 (3,4)



00:32:969 (4,1)

Examples Normal

The problem in the Normal difficulty is mostly in how the objects flow in to each other.

00:04:844 (3,4,5)



00:37:469 (4,5)

Examples Hard

The Hard difficulty has a bit of a combination of the problems of both Normal and Easy.

00:09:344 (1,2,3)



00:37:844 (1,2)

Examples Insane

The biggest problem in the Insane difficulty is that some patterns look a bit unorganised.

00:19:844 (1,2,3,4,5)



00:50:031 (2,3,4,5)



01:08:594 (4,5,6,7)

Outside of those things, this mapset looks pretty good. Good luck!

1. Maybe use a finish for every cymbal sound ?
   here are the cymbals : 00:00:344 - 00:03:344 - 00:12:344 - 00:24:344 - 00:51:344 - 01:16:844 - 01:19:844 -

1. 00:34:469 (4,5,1) - Maybe make a spacing more different between 00:34:469 (4,5) - & 00:34:656 (5,1) - . I feel like 00:34:844 (1) - should be emphasized with a spacing lil higher (because of the vocal). or maybe reduce a lil the spacing here 00:34:094 (3,4,5) - .
2. 01:12:344 (1,2,3) - the vocal being really strong on 01:12:906 (2) - ; I think it should be better to have a jump between those note : 01:12:344 (1,2) - & and stack here 01:12:906 (2,3) - .

1. 00:02:594 (4,5) - I can understand you don't want to use 1/3 for Hard diff, but clicking 1/2 when it's 1/3 feel kinda wrong (even if you're following the vocal). How about change to something like this ? https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7362987
2. 00:05:594 (4,5) - almost same thing, but maybe change it to make it simular to this one : 00:23:594 (3,4) -

1. 00:04:844 (3,4,5) - a bit nazi, but it's not perfectly linear.
2. 00:24:344 (8) - 01:06:344 (5) - NC ?

1. 00:43:094 (3,4) - the overlap feel bit weird with the placement. I highly suggest to not use an overlap here. Pretty weird to play with the current flow. (in this case)

bonus

Kin wrote:

really clean mapset here!
I hope to see more mapset from you in the future \o/

[hitsounding]

1. Maybe use a finish for every cymbal sound ?
   here are the cymbals : 00:00:344 - 00:03:344 - 00:12:344 - 00:24:344 - 00:51:344 - 01:16:844 - 01:19:844 -

[Insane]

1. 00:34:469 (4,5,1) - Maybe make a spacing more different between 00:34:469 (4,5) - & 00:34:656 (5,1) - . I feel like 00:34:844 (1) - should be emphasized with a spacing lil higher (because of the vocal). or maybe reduce a lil the spacing here 00:34:094 (3,4,5) - .
2. 01:12:344 (1,2,3) - the vocal being really strong on 01:12:906 (2) - ; I think it should be better to have a jump between those note : 01:12:344 (1,2) - & and stack here 01:12:906 (2,3) - . Nice suggestion~. and changed same part 01:18:344 (1,2) -

[Hard]

1. 00:02:594 (4,5) - I can understand you don't want to use 1/3 for Hard diff, but clicking 1/2 when it's 1/3 feel kinda wrong (even if you're following the vocal). How about change to something like this ? https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7362987
2. 00:05:594 (4,5) - almost same thing, but maybe change it to make it simular to this one : 00:23:594 (3,4) -

[Normal]

1. 00:04:844 (3,4,5) - a bit nazi, but it's not perfectly linear.
2. 00:24:344 (8) - 01:06:344 (5) - NC ?

[Easy]

1. 00:43:094 (3,4) - the overlap feel bit weird with the placement. I highly suggest to not use an overlap here. Pretty weird to play with the current flow. (in this case)

really clean map!
good luck!

don't give up, and rank it >w<

All fixed!!

bonus

　( *´艸｀)

Dubturt wrote:

hello there, this mapset is pretty solid

Easy

(honestly it took me a hard time to find any problems here)
00:58:844 (1) - for this slider here why not make it like this https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7358273 too make it flow better, afterwards you just need to adjust the next sliders 01:00:344 (1,1) to make things cleaner
try lowering 01:22:844 (1) it down to x:131 y:108(but it seems like original one is fine but for me this seems smoother to follow but you have to adjust more objects which could be a hassle lol)

Normal

00:05:406 (4) - move this to x:464 7:186 color=#008000]okay[/color]
00:07:094 (3) - movee this to x:23 y:119 then just adjust to right distance snapping for 00:07:844 (4,5) okay
01:09:719 (2) - move to x:93 y:172 then adjust this slider to make it look like this https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7358404
over all really nothing wrong in this difficult as well (I like how you used your sliders) thx^^

Hard

00:09:719 (3) - why not move this slider here x:291 y:213 ?
00:27:344 (1) - how about making this curve upwards? like this? http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7358486
00:37:094 (3,4) - dont make this stack just like the previous notes, it might confuse newer players
00:43:094 (3,4) - ^
01:28:656 (4) - this might be confusing to read for others dont put it underneath the slider

i had fun checking this diff really nice work

Insane

is it okay if you want to lower the stack leniency by just a bit? hmm...
00:19:844 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - try increasing distance a bit because it will emphasize the drums in the song
00:47:781 (4,5,6) - wat, umm is it really like this? (if not, stack them) i think no problem
00:53:781 (6,7,8) - ^ ^
01:27:344 (1,2,3,4,5) - how about making it 2 kicksliders like these? https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7358649 keep cuz following vocal
01:30:344 (1,2,3,4,5) - space them a little bit Nice!!
01:31:094 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - ^ Nice!!

again, really cool map, i would like to see this get ranked goodluck!!

Kibbleru wrote:

some concerns for now

insane
00:25:469 - imo a drop from 1.0 -> 0.9 sv isn't really enough for this part, try at least 0.8 or less please
00:47:781 (4,5,6) - just stack it?

hard
the entire diff uses 1.0 SV multiplier, i would like some variety, at least try using 0.8 here 00:24:344 - change to 0.9 because avoid overlap.
00:02:594 (4) - i think it's perfectly fine to use a 1/3 repeat
00:05:594 (4) - ^
00:23:594 (3) - ^
00:09:531 (2,3) - it would be better if u can avoid overlapping these
00:18:531 (2,3) - ^
01:03:344 (1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1) - this chain of 1/4 pattern is a bit too long, i think it would be fine to simplify some of them to 1/2 01:04:469 (1) - change circle. make littele break.
01:13:281 (3) - maybe NC since its rather weird that u skip a drum beat here, it will make it more readable
01:19:844 (1,3) - it could be beneficial to unstack these a little bit for readability like so. applies for all of the other similar cases fixed and 01:28:094 (3,4) - change same pattern

SPOILER

normal
00:23:594 (6,7) - just use a 1/1 slider like 00:05:594 (5) -
01:04:844 (1) - is the NC intentional? its not consistent
01:07:281 (2,3) - 1/2 repeat would work better here
01:07:844 (1,2) - imo a 1/1 would work better here because there isn't really anything on 01:08:125 - so the rhythm is actually quite awkward
also applies to other similar cases here
01:27:344 (5,1) - swap nc?
01:28:844 (4) - i think NC is necessary here, new phrase

easy
00:49:469 (2,3) - overlap doesnt look very nice imo
01:25:469 (5,1) - ^
u need 4 beats of spinner recovery time so remove this circle and it will be fine 01:07:469 (1) -

these are my main concerns for now
also the map's only been uploaded for a week so u cud wait a bit longer xd haha sorry xD

Asuka_- wrote:

Im not good at english.

Kibbleru wrote:

hard
the entire diff uses 1.0 SV multiplier, i would like some variety, at least try using 0.8 here 00:24:344 - change to 0.9 because avoid overlap.

Kibbleru wrote:

actually u can lower SV but increase the DS so they wont overlap, its fine for now, just for next time. I see... I'll be careful.

some NC issues in normal
01:10:844 (4) - missing nc oh sry... Fixed

00:25:844 - NC pattern gets offset here, NC should be on 00:27:344 - 00:30:344 -
instead of what u currrently have 00:25:844 (1) - 00:28:844 (1) - 00:31:469 (1) - okay Fixed

Momochikun wrote:

super quick m4m :333

[Insane]
00:22:094 - the stream is already start here, maybe you can use some 1/4 slider ? keep
01:06:344 (1) - finish okay
00:25:469 - this part until 00:36:156 - can add some whistle imo, so it wouldn't be too plain keep

[Hard]
00:24:906 (2) - i think its better 2 circles here because its weird to leave strong sound on the slider tail okay
00:29:594 (3,4) - this overlap kinda ugly imo but good flow imo xD
01:03:344 (1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1) - they just need nc on the first kick slider, no need spam okay

[Normal]
00:53:219 - missing clap oh thx

[Easy]
some overlap like 00:22:844 (3,4) - and 01:07:844 (1,2) - might be hard for beginners to understand, try avoid this kind of pattern in easier diff
keep plz

cute song and bg, good luck !

KuranteMelodii wrote:

starされたらmodいらないでしょうｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

1. Denki 電気 (he wrote the lyrics, and compose the song)
2. LoveMatic (the studio that developped the eroge)
3. Koipia (the eroge is also known as Koipia)
4. Koi to Koi Suru Utopia (always have the romanized title of the eroge as tag) striked word aren't needed, even if it's the full title, because they are already on the metadata, with the title (and there is also no need to have twice the same word on tag)

1. audio.mp3 is 254kbps which is unrankable, maximum allowed is 192kbps.
2. storyboarded hitsounds is something that i don't really agree with, the samples will be played even if you don't hit any object which is confusing.

1. 00:02:969 (5,6) - this should be snapped to 1/6 if you're following vocals
2. 00:31:469 (4,5,1) - looks a bit too cramped compared to similar patterns, maybe try to use more distance so it doesn't look inconsistent?
3. 00:37:844 (1,2,3,4) - looks visually odd, 00:37:844 (1,2) - should be equal to 00:38:406 (3,4) - ,yet 00:38:781 (4) - is closer to 00:38:406 (3) - than 00:38:219 (2) - is to 00:37:844 (1) - . try to use the same distance for these two so that it looks more visually appealing
4. 01:03:344 - can you add some hitsounds to the streams? it feels empty. adding some whistles to strong beats such as 01:03:344 - 01:03:719 - 01:04:094 - would be better imo

1. can you add some 1/4 on the streamy sections? (this 00:21:344 - for example) insane uses 8 notes streams so the gap between difficulty might be too much, you should at least use some 1/4 sliders with reverse arrow
2. 01:28:094 (3,4) - i don't get why such a different spacing here. it's just an 1/2 gap so space it normally?

1. could use a spinner like you did on easy, else scores on the map will be all the same

1. 00:22:844 (3,4) - can you avoid this type of overlap? the way the sliders covers the slider end circle and the sliderbody at the same time is just confusing for newbies. (same issue on 01:07:844 (1,2) - )

Kagetsu wrote:

1. audio.mp3 is 254kbps which is unrankable, maximum allowed is 192kbps.

Kagetsu wrote:

1. audio.mp3 is 254kbps which is unrankable, maximum allowed is 192kbps. oh sorry... changed mp3
   → offset changed plz check...
   
2. storyboarded hitsounds is something that i don't really agree with, the samples will be played even if you don't hit any object which is confusing. ok removed

[Insane]

1. 00:02:969 (5,6) - this should be snapped to 1/6 if you're following vocals ok plz check
2. 00:31:469 (4,5,1) - looks a bit too cramped compared to similar patterns, maybe try to use more distance so it doesn't look inconsistent? ok i tried.
3. 00:37:844 (1,2,3,4) - looks visually odd, 00:37:844 (1,2) - should be equal to 00:38:406 (3,4) - ,yet 00:38:781 (4) - is closer to 00:38:406 (3) - than 00:38:219 (2) - is to 00:37:844 (1) - . try to use the same distance for these two so that it looks more visually appealing i tried.
4. 01:03:344 - can you add some hitsounds to the streams? it feels empty. adding some whistles to strong beats such as 01:03:344 - 01:03:719 - 01:04:094 - would be better imo nice thanks

[Hard]

1. can you add some 1/4 on the streamy sections? (this 00:21:344 - for example) insane uses 8 notes streams so the gap between difficulty might be too much, you should at least use some 1/4 sliders with reverse arrow ok start in 00:22:844 -
2. 01:28:094 (3,4) - i don't get why such a different spacing here. it's just an 1/2 gap so space it normally? fix

[Normal]

1. could use a spinner like you did on easy, else scores on the map will be all the same
   okay, I put it in the same place as Easy

[Easy]

1. 00:22:844 (3,4) - can you avoid this type of overlap? the way the sliders covers the slider end circle and the sliderbody at the same time is just confusing for newbies. (same issue on 01:07:844 (1,2) - ) fix

-NanoRIPE- wrote:

grats!

-Nanaka- wrote:

おめでとうございます

Meg wrote:

おめでとうございます

歌詞のXXXXXのところは「with me 楽園に」ですよ～

Gloria Guard wrote:

このゲームのOPが Qualified されるの待ってました!!

ランクになるのが楽しみです ~ それと、、

ナイスです! おめでとうございます