1. 00:40:285 - Seems like a major skipped rhythmic beat here.
2. 00:47:649 (1) - Really should not have a whistle
3. 00:52:989 (1,2,3) - You can't just use the background thump rhythm here and ignore it 00:50:947 - here, 00:50:947 - here, etc. should really stick to one or the other. The violin is good. Stick to the violin.
4. 00:55:188 (1,2,3,4,5) - idk what shape this is but i get ur starting to transfer to the thumps but this shape is just fucking lopsided and nonsensical, it's not really a pattern
5. 00:56:131 (1,2,3,4) - To fit with the other times you have this violin buildup it should be 1,2,1,2, and be a bit more back-and-forth rather than zigzaggy upwards.
6. 00:57:702 (1,2,1,2,3) - now the thumps are really, really faint again and you've got this 1,2,1,2 pattern that doesnt really fit the thumps to begin with
7. 01:00:214 (1,2,3,4,5) - i dont get this pattern but uh sure whatever
8. 01:06:161 (1,2) - this is just so faint and so irrelevant it really shouldn't be mapped but whatever MY STYLE
9. 01:09:289 (2,3) - these two notes kind of ruin the stream entirely by turning a 6-note cascade into an 8-note super generic boring everyman stream. Stick a 1/4 slider here if you really want to extend that tone?
10. Let's just skip over how you're turning one of the most beautiful offbeat synth cascades into a 1/2 click fest for a moment.
11. 01:16:043 (3,4) - this rhythm is really fucked up, it should really really be a 1/2 slider for 3. Halcyon is all about offbeat rhythm consistency. You were doing okay before, but this just doesn't fit with the rhythm.

1. 01:18:242 (1,2,3) - You do a good job of breaking up the stream to emphasize the tones here. But you completely skip over 01:19:341 (9) - . You could have a 1/4 slider instead of 9, and then a pattern of 6 notes here. It fits way better than a random 1/8 tap.
2. 01:36:304 (1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1) - Just taking a moment here to say that I really like this pattern! It fits really well. I'm not all gloom and doom.
3. 01:38:111 - Could probably fit a triple in here to make the rhythm more intense and fitting with the buildup.
4. 01:38:660 (5) - This should be a 1/8 repeat to be consistent with your representation of this sound, but honestly i feel like 1/4 sliders just plain work better
   If you put a 1/8 repeat ^ there, you should totally put a 1/4 replacing 01:38:818 (1,2) - , as 01:38:975 (3) - is where the 1/4 stream really begins.
5. 01:39:210 (2,4) - Again, these kind of just feel like "filler streams" that don't really fit the musical rhythm. You both overuse and underutilize 1/4 sliders across your entire map.
6. 01:46:357 (1,2,1,2) - This pattern worked far better when the 2s were "Backwards". Maybe reverse them to fit the tone like you did before?
7. 01:49:498 (5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4) - This should be patterened and new comboed to be an 8-note pattern, not the tail end of an 8 and a 1234. That's simply how the music is structured.
8. 01:58:530 (2,1,2,3) - The 2 completely ruins the beauty of the triple the music and your map has. Really should just stick to a 3/4 slider for 1.
9. 01:59:236 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - I don't know why you don't do cascades like this more often. It's good, it's clean, it fits the music, and it's "challenging".
10. 02:14:629 (1,2,1,2) - missing finishes if you want to map the background 3/4 bounce
11. 02:18:634 (4,1) - Normally you don't swap directions between 4 and 1 like this, usually you do it between 1 and 2. This really feels more like an error than something done "for variation".
12. 02:19:655 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - I like this idea of emphasizing the 3//4 bounce finishes in the background with 1/4 sliders, but to really be accurate you need to have 1,2 be a 1/4 slider as well.
13. That said, I actually fucking love how you did that entire stream section here before the second chorus, it's VERY well done and I love how you've accurately noticed the 123 falls and avoided having just generic 12345678 streams the entire way. I LIKE this. Good job. I just wish you did it for the smaller, shorter stream sections e_e
14. 02:26:880 (7) - can probably newcombo
15. 02:37:718 (3,4) - Ties in with 01:16:043 (3,4) - . Like, I don't like how you've mapped the choruses so i won't repeat myself here. Mapper style and all that; whatever. I'll just skip to other stuff so i won't repeat myself. (It's got copies itself anyway)
16. 03:02:064 (2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - see streams like this are great times to use those interesting cascades like you used at 01:59:236 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - , btw 5 should also be new comboed and uhhh yeah this is 5 sets of 4 lol
17. 03:18:728 (2,3,4,5) - 1,2,1,2 new combo to be consistent with intro
18. 03:37:497 (2) - This... actually ends earlier. It's kind of weird. It should end at 03:37:759 - . Technically a wrongly snapped note?
19. 03:46:293 (1,2) - Your inconsistency in stream breaks and 1/4 sliders really ruins most of your streams. These make no sense here and ruin the emphasis on 03:46:607 (3,4,5) - , among other things.
20. 03:59:094 (2,2) - missing finishes like before
21. 04:03:884 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - See 2:19
    
22. 04:15:821 - No mappy this makey me super sad

Shiirn wrote:

doublepost, i'm back

00:26:600 (1,2) - Man, and I get shit for MY blankets.
Never been that Nazi about blankets

[Commentary]

1. 00:40:285 - Seems like a major skipped rhythmic beat here.
   The violin here isn't as clear as the ones at 00:40:444 (1,2,3,1) - . Experimented before placing a circle here, doesn't seem to play well with the clear violin
   
2. 00:47:649 (1) - Really should not have a whistle
   Right, accidental I guess
   
3. 00:52:989 (1,2,3) - You can't just use the background thump rhythm here and ignore it 00:50:947 - here, 00:50:947 - here, etc. should really stick to one or the other. The violin is good. Stick to the violin.
   Yea, following the violin does sound a lot nicer
   
4. 00:55:188 (1,2,3,4,5) - idk what shape this is but i get ur starting to transfer to the thumps but this shape is just fucking lopsided and nonsensical, it's not really a pattern
   I guess I got a little lazy figuring out how to map this part. Should be fine now
   
5. 00:56:131 (1,2,3,4) - To fit with the other times you have this violin buildup it should be 1,2,1,2, and be a bit more back-and-forth rather than zigzaggy upwards.
   Yup, sure
   
6. 00:57:702 (1,2,1,2,3) - now the thumps are really, really faint again and you've got this 1,2,1,2 pattern that doesnt really fit the thumps to begin with
   Following the thumps seem pretty fine here. Made the pattern more consistent here
   
7. 01:00:214 (1,2,3,4,5) - i dont get this pattern but uh sure whatever
8. 01:06:161 (1,2) - this is just so faint and so irrelevant it really shouldn't be mapped but whatever MY STYLE
   I think following the faint thumps here should be fine as I started following it from 01:04:507 (1) - . Didn't really like putting a spinner or long slider here matching the violin
   
9. 01:09:289 (2,3) - these two notes kind of ruin the stream entirely by turning a 6-note cascade into an 8-note super generic boring everyman stream. Stick a 1/4 slider here if you really want to extend that tone?
   Stacked the 01:09:289 (2,3) - on the 6-note stream instead. 1/4 slider seems rather weak in emphasizing the 1/4 beat here
   
10. Let's just skip over how you're turning one of the most beautiful offbeat synth cascades into a 1/2 click fest for a moment.
11. 01:16:043 (3,4) - this rhythm is really fucked up, it should really really be a 1/2 slider for 3. Halcyon is all about offbeat rhythm consistency. You were doing okay before, but this just doesn't fit with the rhythm.

Always thought the rhythm here is okay, but your suggestion does sound a lot nicer
Okay, little break here. I want the mapper, and anyone who's bothering to read this, to take a moment.

Listen to Halcyon. Think about it. When you imagine "Halcyon", what is the FIRST rhythm that pops into your head?

It's 01:19:969 (1,2,3) - . It's 01:09:917 (1,2,3) - . Why are they different? I can understand the second, it's kind of missing the focus and purpose of that synth burst, but the first is completely random and is both inconsistent and sets up the wrong rhythm in the player's mind, since for the rest of the map, the map uses three 1/4 kick sliders (which is questionable to me to begin with, but it's at least consistent).
Initially I thought of starting the chorus with more simplistic rhythm then only introduce the three 1/4 sliders in the later section. I guess this isn't really necessary

Okay, back to nitpicking.

1. 01:18:242 (1,2,3) - You do a good job of breaking up the stream to emphasize the tones here. But you completely skip over 01:19:341 (9) - . You could have a 1/4 slider instead of 9, and then a pattern of 6 notes here. It fits way better than a random 1/8 tap.
   Does sound better. Wanted to map closely following the 1/8 but it can be safely ignored
   
2. 01:36:304 (1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1) - Just taking a moment here to say that I really like this pattern! It fits really well. I'm not all gloom and doom.
   
3. 01:38:111 - Could probably fit a triple in here to make the rhythm more intense and fitting with the buildup.
   Sure
   
4. 01:38:660 (5) - This should be a 1/8 repeat to be consistent with your representation of this sound, but honestly i feel like 1/4 sliders just plain work better
   If you put a 1/8 repeat ^ there, you should totally put a 1/4 replacing 01:38:818 (1,2) - , as 01:38:975 (3) - is where the 1/4 stream really begins.
   1/8 does fit really well here
   
5. 01:39:210 (2,4) - Again, these kind of just feel like "filler streams" that don't really fit the musical rhythm. You both overuse and underutilize 1/4 sliders across your entire map.
   Always wanted to keep the intensity going by having longer 1/4 stream than 1/4 sliders. The sliders do fit nicely here
   
6. 01:46:357 (1,2,1,2) - This pattern worked far better when the 2s were "Backwards". Maybe reverse them to fit the tone like you did before?
   Sure
   
7. 01:49:498 (5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4) - This should be patterened and new comboed to be an 8-note pattern, not the tail end of an 8 and a 1234. That's simply how the music is structured.
   Kept similar pattern but split the stream with two 1234
   
8. 01:58:530 (2,1,2,3) - The 2 completely ruins the beauty of the triple the music and your map has. Really should just stick to a 3/4 slider for 1.
   Sure. At first didn't really like having two consecutive 3/4 sliders at somewhat intense part of the song. Works here
   
9. 01:59:236 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - I don't know why you don't do cascades like this more often. It's good, it's clean, it fits the music, and it's "challenging".
10. 02:14:629 (1,2,1,2) - missing finishes if you want to map the background 3/4 bounce
    Current one is fine. Rather noisy here having three finishes at three white ticks
    
11. 02:18:634 (4,1) - Normally you don't swap directions between 4 and 1 like this, usually you do it between 1 and 2. This really feels more like an error than something done "for variation".
    Nice catch here
    
12. 02:19:655 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - I like this idea of emphasizing the 3//4 bounce finishes in the background with 1/4 sliders, but to really be accurate you need to have 1,2 be a 1/4 slider as well.
    Yea, the 1/4 slider at beginning does sound a lot nicer
    
13. That said, I actually fucking love how you did that entire stream section here before the second chorus, it's VERY well done and I love how you've accurately noticed the 123 falls and avoided having just generic 12345678 streams the entire way. I LIKE this. Good job. I just wish you did it for the smaller, shorter stream sections e_e
    E_E
    
14. 02:26:880 (7) - can probably newcombo
    Sure
    
15. 02:37:718 (3,4) - Ties in with 01:16:043 (3,4) - . Like, I don't like how you've mapped the choruses so i won't repeat myself here. Mapper style and all that; whatever. I'll just skip to other stuff so i won't repeat myself. (It's got copies itself anyway)
    Fixed from the above mod
    
16. 03:02:064 (2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - see streams like this are great times to use those interesting cascades like you used at 01:59:236
    (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - , btw 5 should also be new comboed and uhhh yeah this is 5 sets of 4 lol
    Hmm, sure. Hopefully the current version is better now
    
17. 03:18:728 (2,3,4,5) - 1,2,1,2 new combo to be consistent with intro
    Alright
    
18. 03:37:497 (2) - This... actually ends earlier. It's kind of weird. It should end at 03:37:759 - . Technically a wrongly snapped note?
    Yup it is
    
19. 03:46:293 (1,2) - Your inconsistency in stream breaks and 1/4 sliders really ruins most of your streams. These make no sense here and ruin the emphasis on 03:46:607 (3,4,5) - , among other things.
    Originally broke the stream so that it will transition better to the 03:46:607 (3,4,5) - following the beat. Now I look back at 03:44:251 (4) - , this isn't necessary at all
    
20. 03:59:094 (2,2) - missing finishes like before
    Mentioned above
    
21. 04:03:884 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - See 2:19
    Done
    
22. 04:15:821 - No mappy this makey me super sad
    :c Experimented lots of way to map this part. But it just doesn't transition nicely towards 04:16:764 (1) - . Current one seems like the best option to me

And the last chorus is mostly just the same weirdness and mistakes as before, i'm sure people who care far more about aesthetics than me can point them out.

So as a tl;dr you've got some really good bits but you don't ever expand them into the rest of the map and a lot of your major rhythm choice is arbitrary but can be painted under MY STYLE so im not even gonna bother objecting to them

some not-so-minor shit in there tho

Rumia- wrote:

happy birthday [ -Scarlet- ] !!

Rumia- wrote:

happy birthday [ -Scarlet- ] !!

Rumia- wrote:

happy birthday [ -Scarlet- ] !!