Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2
I used to be really depressed too (although arguably, I still am now) so I think I can understand how it felt.
Puzzle wrote:I've been there. It's hard to put into words. I'd have to describe the situation and it's too personal and there was *too much* so I wont go into a lot of detail.
I was 16. I had chronic depression because of a string of awful events in my childhood. A lot of my mental and emotional state was tied to a girl I was in love with. She broke up with me. Easily the worst emotional pain I've experienced in my life. It literally felt like someone had jabbed a knife into my chest. I shut down. I have about 3 months where I dont remember anything that happened. Memories just gone. I know I was going to school because my grades didnt tank too hard. The only thing I do remember about that period of time is I rebounded to some other girl because I was young and stupid and she broke up with me too after like 1 month and I've never really been the same after that. Was too much for me.
Not to say that was the only reason it happened. To really get it youd have to understand my childhood which is way too much. Long story short, my life had been completely fucked till that point and I really felt like I needed these people for support. This was more the straw that broke the camel's back than the real kicker. I mean, it did kick pretty fucking hard. Losing someone you love is brutal. But it wasnt the main reason why I shut down.
So yeah, I dunno. A lot. It's hard to describe. But for a couple of months there I really did shut down. The few memories I have from that period of time are lying in bed and being hurt, a few memories with this other girl, her breaking up with me too, and then just nothing. I dont have any idea what happened those months, I had no friends who could tell me what I was doing, and I'm too sensitive about it to ask my family. I'm surprised I even kept going to school though I'm sure I probably skipped a few days. Or maybe I didnt, who knows? Anyway, I think it was the catalyst to me really learning how to shut off my emotions (and struggling with figuring out how to turn them back on again.)
What are some things that you have in your life right now that make you happy?