MrMenda wrote:

Hard

-Increase OD from 5 to 6-7 Fixed to 6
-Increase CS from 3 to 3.6/3.8 or even 4 (that is more personal opinion than necessary) Fixed to 4

-00:06:200 (1) That beat seems extra, no need to have it there. Keprt it
-00:15:880 (1, 2, 3) Slider 3 seems mapped wrong, I think it should be a plain slider rather than a reverse slider In higher diffs, it is a stream section, I kept it
-00:39:000 (1, 2) I'd use the hitsound for slider 1 for both sliders. Fixed
-00:45:500 (1, 2, 3) Maybe making it into a 5 notes part would follow the music better Fixed
-00:53:000 (1, 2) Change the slider earlier (in the half of the previous beat) would feel more natural Fixed
-01:05:620 to 01:19:900: It is perfectly mappable for a Hard Difficulty.
-01:40:720 to 01:47:150: Same as above Left out these two because I don't think I need so much stuff

Apart from those changes it looks pretty good as it stands

Sepia's Insane

-00:10:615 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) - 6 sounds an extra beat, feels antinatural Not really
-00:23:600 to 00:28:690 - Some sliders look out of beat I probably fixed it before you mod it but maybe it's still not good?
-00:29:000 (5) - After playing it feels antinatural to aim It's a pattern tho
-00:56:284 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1) - Stream looks too long and feels that way after playing it, maybe shorten it to 7 notes or using another pattern would be better I'll ask sepia
-01:22:425 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1) - ^ imo this is overmapped
-01:48:623 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 1) - ^
Those are the things that make it feel antinatural/overmapped. Apart from that it feels really good to play Again, I do have to ask sepia

Extra

Pretty well mapped and with very few errors
-00:52:000 (1, 2, 3, 4) - Looks 4th note looks antinatural while playing idk if I would change this
-01:05:650 to 01:13:150 - Unmapped while it could perfectly be
-01:42:870 to 01:47:550 - ^ I fixed these before the mod lol

Thanks a lot for the mod

Thanks for mod!

[- Mizki -] wrote:

Easy

Overall

- most I "want" to say about the easy is mostly really subjektiv and just some ideas (feels bad my name wasn't mentioned lol
<3 Sorry it was only displaying easy last time I checked >_< <3

- since this is an easy It's expected to see not so much emphasis on strong sounds but more just simple Rhythm but i still think that a few less notes might improve emphasis
like removing this one 00:53:009 (2) - after the reverse Kick with a cymbal. (removed this since Knightc0re changed this part.) I'll list a few places where I find it appropriate:
00:57:372 (2) - (done, replaced with slider)
00:59:554 (2) - (^)
01:03:918 (4) - (done)
01:06:100 (2,3) - (done, lowered the first slider angle)



- I think these sliders 01:53:554 (1) - might be slightly against the ranking criteria because of the overlapping... kinda not but it's a thing I wanted to point out (it's not overlapping to any thing (?))
It is, but it's a really unnecessary nitpick


- also slightly related to this point from before I personally find the Slider art style a bit overdone it's not really needed
and I dislike the Symmetrie a bit it's a bit obvious and doesn't have that modern mapping tilt to it, but that's REALLY subjective but I find it possibly more appealing (nah, I think it's fine. the symmetries might need a rework especially the heart one, but I'll wait for more mods before I'll change this. The heart one is the only one I'm really concerned of, the rest is fine imo)

Suggestions

- 00:02:950 (2,3) - you could replace this with a repeat slider going into the next strong sound like this



followed by now the next 2 following circle on the red dots (did this, but I adjusted circle 4's position)

I wonder if this 00:10:692 (3) - could be a different shape because of the change in the song (changed this.)

Mizki's Easy

osu file format v14

[General]
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AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 82463
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Normal
StackLeniency: 0.6
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WidescreenStoryboard: 1

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BeatDivisor: 4
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[Metadata]
Title:Preserved Valkyria
TitleUnicode:Preserved Valkyria
Artist:penoreri
ArtistUnicode:ぺのれり
Creator:KnightC0re
Version:Mizki's Easy
Source:SOUND VOLTEX III GRAVITY WARS
Tags:penoreri preserved valkyria valkyrie sound voltex gravity wars mizki sepia
BeatmapID:1163165
BeatmapSetID:535118

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OverallDifficulty:2
ApproachRate:1.5
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Thanks for mod!

I hope it was helpful o.o

Celektus wrote:

Normal

Overall

- expecting you looked through my suggestions for the easy I'll try to maybe make some comparisons

-first of the sliders in my opinion look way better fit better and are arranged really nicely, but the Rhythm emphasis "feels" worse
which like indirectly said in my easy box is kind of a thing in diffs like easy or normal that isn't as important but I feel like can still be improved

Suggestions

- there are some Slider overlaps which might conflict with the ranking criteria
I think I can come up with some good reasons as to why some might not be good for players on that skill level

- 00:52:463 (1,2) - I would expect players at this skill level from players to use the standard skin, which if you remember still uses Slider-ends and that might confuse slightly new players as to what end to click... and yes that is just a Assumption (Changed to a "=" pattern if it's called that)

- same here 00:58:463 (3,1,2) - but also a bit more confusing because of the Slider shape (Changed to... something, which lead to me changing even more stuff)

- this Overlap 01:20:827 (1) - is quite big so maybe you could work around that... maybe even blanket it (Use the blacket on the slider end)

- now some examples where I think the Rhythm emphasis lacks a bit or could be improved

- I would move both these Sliders 00:02:950 (2,1) - to the next red tick a problem that then appears is that the repeat of the slider would not fit anymore (There's no sound in the reverse end lol im bad at emphasis, anyway changed)

- this slider 00:05:660 (2) - doesn't end on a strong sound but could. I would make him shorter (I changed the length and the placement of 1 and 2)

- this Hitcircle 00:06:434 (1) - is not on a strong sound but the following 2 are, so I would suggest removing it (Removed)

- 00:22:692 (4) - I don't get what this circle with is supposed to emphasize with it's hit sound.
sounds more like the beginning of that Spinner ends that series of Crash Cymbals (Hitsound removed)

- this Hit circle 00:49:190 (2) - for me makes more sense if you would move it to the next white Tick after this one 00:49:736 (3) - (A bit hard for normal imo)

- I'm not so sure about this pattern 00:50:281 (1,2) - the thing is that the first Slider doesn't end on a strong sound, but could.
My first idea was it to extend him to the next white tick, but he might conflict with the repeat slider coming up
which itself seems for me to not end on a strong sound too. I arranged the Timeline kind of like this (Did the same thing to 1, 2 and 3, but moved 4 o the next white tick)



- these 2 Sliders 00:52:463 (1,2) - kinda also don't end/begin on strong sounds, but I think they give me a feeling like they introduce some sort of Rhythm Flow
that fits the transition into the next Musical Section. The first Hits on a Cymbal with a reverse Kick and the second one ends on the next one. I thought that was worth pointing out

- these 3 00:57:372 (1,2,3) - don't correctly emphasis both the strong sounds nor the Rhythm of the Snare. In fact they should be on every other White Tick if you would try to follow the Snare,
but I Think it should rather be on the Piano anyway. The Timeline would kinda look like this (without Sliders in Mind)
so you should try and bring some patter into this that fits better and maybe only use some Sounds actually (Did that, not sure if it's easy enough)

- same goes for the Sliders in that Section 00:59:009 (1,2,1,2) - like the first one 00:59:009 (1) - could end one red Tick earlier
I would make it like this (Changed to this except for the third slider where i put stacking circles instead)



but I'm not to sure if that isn't too dense already so you might need to work a bot around that

- I would make this one 01:23:009 (1) - a repeat Slider that ends on the second next White Tick were the Lead is audible (Changed and swapped slider end with slider head)

- this Slider 01:24:100 (2) - makes more sense to me one White Tick after (Changed and moved 2 and 1 closer)

- the Hitcircle in this pattern 01:25:190 (1,1) - isn't really needed and since it's not really on any Important Sound and the Slider doesn't end on one.
So I would either end it on a later or sooner Lead Sound (Extended the slider but kept the circles cuz the chimes in the background)

- Why not make these 2 shorter 01:36:100 (1,1) - so they end on the Lead sound on the red Tick (Did thought about this a bit before, but changed it at last)

- 01:49:190 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,1,1,1) - this Is Like the Sections from before (starting here 00:57:236 (1) - ) were I pointed out how the Rhythm emphasis didn't fit too well I my opinion (Changed to something that fits)

- not sure if this is the biggest nitpick yet but... why do you use specific Hitsounds here only 01:57:372 (2,3) - I thinks that's kinda unnecessary I think the bass and snares are the most highlighted in here, harder diffs use more of these hitsounds)

Hard

Overall

- diff has some not so nice looking patterns especially some circle related ones. I'm not good enough at pointing out solutions tho,
maybe some other mod can go more into that

- the lack of Rhythm emphasis so far through the diffs now gets more crucial. i think that at least now my recommendations will start to get more important
when it comes to Rhythm

- the intro especially feels really of with the slider ends not ending on a more important sound, together with the loudness of the hitsounds

Suggestions

- this slider 00:02:176 (3) - can already end at the next blue tick. you could also extend it if you feel like but it makes more sense to me to shorten it (Shortened and added an extra circle on next red tick)

- these 4 notes 00:02:950 (1,2,3,4) - now feel really off. you could move the first 3 back to the red tick after the slider and delay the last not a bit
or map something in between (Changed, added a slider)

- I would remove this note completely 00:04:885 (2) - (Done)

- those 2 00:06:047 (1,2) - confuse me. they don't make sense considering what sounds you tried to or should've emphasized before it.
I would remove them or think of some fitting patter with maybe sliders (Replaced with sliders)

- 00:06:821 (3,1,2,3) - nothing wrong rhythmically those sliders just look weirdly arranged to me. maybe more blankets or some kind of order would help (if you don't have a good reason already) (Changed the positions)

- and just to praise a bit in between that slider 00:05:660 (4) - and this pattern 00:10:692 (1,2,3,4,1) - follow the sound...
the look of the pattern is not my thing tho a stack or something more though out would be nice (I like it sorry)

- as soon as you introduce the repeat sliders 00:14:563 (3) - a lot of stuff feels off like the space between them might be to less it feels odd to hit (I'm sticking with my own idea)

- 00:14:950 (4,1) - both the slider and circle follow the same sound but aren't one object or at least don't have enough space in between them to distinguish them from each other
and i think the distance also might be too wide for a hard. that's like one note Spacestream distance, might work under different conditions though (Changed the spacing)

- both these 00:16:885 (1,2) - and these 00:17:660 (1,2) - also feel weird to play and should look like the first ones from before 00:15:337 (1,2) - (Upon changing the previous one I left this one because these are more emphasized in a way)

- 00:14:563 (3,4,1,2,3,1,2,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,4) - this might be a bit harsh so think about it a bit more but... I would suggest reworking this whole section
for me the repeat sliders don't have anything specific about them they are just there to fill the section since you can't map streams.
I would suggest trying around with triples and such or something else not sure how to approach it so other mods might have better solutions (I only changed the last 4 slightly since the previous ones I think it's cool, and I did work around and moved some stuff to make the pattern better, but might change it again because it might be unclear)

- you mapped the second sound with a slider 00:21:143 (2) - but not the first one? nothing to important but still why not map the first one too? (Erm... wut? I did change something to make the sound fit with the cymbals so there's that)

- this one 00:21:531 (1) - doesn't end on anything important (I honestly don't know what to do to fix that, it does end on a piano sound though)

- I'm not sure what this is mapped to 00:22:692 (2) - you have those 2 reverse kick crash things again but they aren't mapped so maybe place the slider on them
and make it fit in length (Fixed that)

- so you mapped this sound 00:23:079 (3) - on this diff :^)

- I still don't get why you use these hitsounds here 00:28:498 (2,3) - nothing too wrong

- why 2 sliders and a hitcircle? 00:38:563 (1,2,1) - more of a personal gripe, it's just a bit overdone (Extended the first one and remove both the others, thanks for letting me know that)

- 00:48:100 (1,2,1,2,3,4,1,2,1,2,3) - you could follow some important sounds a bit more in this section but the overall beat makes enough sense to me and is really consistent

- ...until you introduce these 00:52:463 (1,2) - they do kinda follow the Rhythm but just break all the expectations you've built so far in this section (Yeah these are added from a previous mod...)

- why is after this 00:54:645 (1) - so much free space? you followed the beat pretty consistently through that section i see no need to stop it.
maybe you have a reason? (I kinda did that to introduce the faster part I guess, but I really just added one extra slider for now)

- 00:56:827 (1,2,1,2,3,1,2,1,2,3,4,1,2,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,5) - I feel similar about this section like about the one from before. I'm not sure if the Rhythm is really not fitting enough
or if the break of expectation from before still applies to this... in any event both sections could look more alike (Didn't change anything here)

- there was no double like this 01:21:645 (2,3) - in the map before so i think i needs to be more justified maybe even stacked onto the following slider would help (Stacked to next slider and rotated last slider)

- I would maybe conciser changing the velocity of this one 01:21:918 (1) - so it's easier to not mis-read and break on for players (Changed to sv 0.5, might be a bit slow but I think it's alright)

- 01:26:963 (4) - this one might be a bit awkward (I made it so that it flows to the next slider)

- the note right after the slider 01:28:327 (5,6) - is a bit sketch to me and you could easily replace both with 2 sliders like in this pattern right before it 01:27:372 (1,2,3) -

- I would conciser removing this circle 01:30:509 (2) - it's just a bit too hard right after that slider 01:30:236 (1) -

- 01:31:736 (1,2,1,1,2,1,2) - this section unlike the ones from before i feel like need more emphasis again. I would justifie it by saying the section is musically more rhythmical (I added something and changed some so but can't do much to make it more consistent)

I'm replying this much for now, I need a break.

I know it's a bit much, but I hope I does help ^^

Okay let's continue...

Celektus wrote:

Hyper

Overall

- the best diff so far most Rhythm choices make sense to me and work fine, the visual concepts are better and there is less stuff I personally wouldn't agree with

Suggestions

- both this 00:02:176 (3) - and this one 00:03:724 (2) - are copy pasted and thus look alike but the song isn't quite rhythmicly reflecting that
so it clashes a bit with the players expectation. work alright mostly but could be better (I don't really get why that's a problem but I replaced the second slider with circles)

- these 2 00:06:047 (1,2) - don't make too much sense they don't emphasize what you map before it. I think a circle right in the middle between both might work (Yeah... I don't think I want to get to 1/4 rhythms here yet)

- in context these 2 00:13:789 (1,2) - feel to me like they don't flow into each other too good so look at least into it (Used ctrl+G on them)

- 00:14:563 (1,2,3,1,2,1,2,3,4,1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4,5) - this whole section is the biggest problem i have with this diff. I just feel like nothing is emphasized,
it's just on Rhythm. I beg you to remap it which is hard but maybe other Modders can agree or disagree with this (I'll keep this)

- it starts for me with this slider 00:14:563 (1) - the ones before followed this slower Rhythm of the piano and then i think on the red tick inside the Repeat is actually when the streamy bit starts.
I wouldn't say it's 100% the red tick so look twice. Maybe this point indicates what wrong for me with the whole section that the repeats start on sounds that should belong to other things... I might look into that again I hope that's helpful somewhat (I changed it a little)

- 00:32:369 (1) - I first didn't notice this since I haven't enabled your hitsounds, but that's actually a nice touch ^^

- 00:48:100 (1,2) - so these repeats should be longer to follow the Rhythm, but I'm sure you had a reason as to why you didn't do that.
the thing for me is that there obviously is something missing and you can clearly hear it so maybe conciser remapping this maybe with non repeat sliders (Left it, I use this for the strings part)

- 00:56:827 (1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5) - this section like in the hard follows the Rhythm of the drums good enough and is consistent with it, so just in case I wouldn't try to hard to emphasis it since it makes perfect sense

- i think the spacing of these 2 01:21:918 (2,3) - might be a bit too much or their SV makes them a bit harder to follow at this skill level *(Lowered sv and shorten spacing)

- 01:27:372 (1,2,3) - similar here I'm not sure about the SV, but my reason isn't really justified enough so think about it yourself (Lowered to sv 0.75 again)

- 01:30:645 (3,4,5,6,7,8) - these singletapps are really awkward to play and quite unexpected since they didn't appear before in the map. I would suggest stacking them,
not sure how big of a difference it will make so conciser other solutions (Replaced whole thing with 2 slider thanks for pointing out)

- I like this pattern 01:38:281 (1,2,3,4,1) - o.o ([Insert PogChamp here] Thank you!! )

Insane

Overall

- great diff visual concepts could be better but most patterns are solid and play well. I only have some exceptions

Suggestions

- I find this patterns 01:04:463 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3) - a bit too hard to hit and overall really awkward. In my eyes it's and out of nowhere difficulty spike (Replaced with sliders)

- 01:29:554 (1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - in this I think are a lot of thing that need more justification like I don't get to what the doubles follow for example 01:29:554 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - (Changed to focus on melody)
or what any of this does 01:30:645 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - (Changed all to repeat sliders, not sure if it's good though)

- this pattern is way too hard to hit 01:55:736 (1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - It makes no sense to have it at the end for me and could be adjusted (Changed the whole pattern, although the last 8 circles is still a bit tricky)

Difficulty got toned down a lot thanks

Extra

Overall

- the problems with rythm emphasis are at this point mostly gone but other things now take the map down a bit, which is mostly about the consistenscies like the visuals or the kinda of flow the patterns have
to propreply solve issiuse with this you will need more competent modders in visual concepts or flow concepets. As far as i can say the map has not really any overall ones which would help a lot

Suggestions

- 00:28:498 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - since this is already really emphasized woth these hitsounds and does get musicaly more intens it could also get more intense spacing wise or otherwise (Done)

- I especially feel not good about this pattern 00:51:918 (1,2,3,4) - it never appears again and since it suggests tapping to it makes it feel weird compared to all the other singletapps in the map.
I would at least scale them closer to eachother or even stack them... or something else (Scaled closer)

- 01:04:463 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1) - this is also one of those kind of patterns that I really have a problem with. It is just so weird to hit and makes no sense to me.
It has symetrie to it but compared to the rest of the map it doesn't add up. this needs to be either changed in favor of the theme of the map or be the themem (the 2nd option is way harder to pull of tho) (Moved them around a bit)

- 01:27:372 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - this one is kind of a good idea but again needs a theme supporting it through out the map (Did the same thing to this as well)

- these Slider jumps 01:31:190 (1,2,3,4) - they really don't fit in my mind and are a bit overdone (Not jumps anymore)

- these are a bit overdone too 01:32:827 (1,2,3,1,2,3,1) - and also don't refelct the rythm as good as the repeats did i think (I'll stick with the same sliders but changed the last three closer)

- 01:44:827 (1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3) - again needs more reson to support it (I really like this pattern sorry)

- I think repeats or a actual stream would be better than this 01:48:100 (1,2,3,4) - (Replaced with repeat sliders)

- 01:51:372 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,3,1,2,1,2) - you should only use either sliders or repeat sliders I my opinion (Changed to... something)

- it just goes into this pattern with out any gradual change 01:56:554 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - the music clearly increases at here 01:56:963 (2) - I think this needs to go more into it and the patterns before it should be less spaced.
Also the not apparent enough theme problem applies to this too (Changed some positions)

Valkyrie

Overall

- The first point i wanna adress is that I feel like there needs to be something between Valkyrie and Extra spread wise.
Next thing is that the diff is visualy really consistent this time and the flow overall works fine. my only complaints would be how you handle difficulty.
the first Jumps before the 1/6 stream and the stream istself come so out of nowhere and the visual concept of the jumps itself could be better i think since it confues me. the stream is fine on it's own but not in context

- I don't feel like I can say as much about this diff in generel other then a few suggestions of what i think might be too much and broad things. a more experienced modder might find a few things

Suggestions

- these patterns 01:02:827 (1,2,3,4) - 01:00:645 (1,2,3,4) - 00:58:463 (1,2,3,4) - have no specific reason to be the way they are and feel overdone (Changed to circles only)

- this technically works 01:22:463 (1,1,1) - but I feel like it would be better without them being (I like this pattern)

Overall closing thoughts

I really like the map and I will look out for how you improve it. the easier diffs in my opinion have a bit of a lack of emphasis and are in general a bit overlooked but should be either easy to improve or won't even need much to get them ranked. I'm looking forward to what you have to say about my points and If you would like to talk with me about stuff more extensively please pm me or MrMenda.

Thanks so much for mod

no kds because I didn't check, so I came across your mapmaybe I'll check this some other time, oh well. good luck for now!~ am a big fan of sdvx haha

Xinying wrote:

no kds because I didn't check, so I came across your map

General

1. Tags: remove "penoreri preserved valkyria valkyrie sound voltex gravity wars" from tags, you already have them in your artist - song title - difficulty name and source respectively. Instead, add "sdvx" as a short form for sound voltex, "konami" for the company that owns sdvx and "-Jordan-" into your tags because he collab'ed in your map.

maybe I'll check this some other time, oh well. good luck for now!~ am a big fan of sdvx haha

Changed...

I replied late sorry

randomod

advice:
watch the following pishi videos:
for your rhythm:
basic rhythm
irregular rhythm
overmapping
for your consideration:
fun vs good
for your jumps:
basic spacing
flow + circles
spacing emphasis
jumps
If this is too much for you, that's totally fine - just don't ignore them. No matter whether it's all in one day, one a day, one a week, or one a month, you should seriously watch and interpret all of these videos. They are all relevant to the problems I see in your mapping.

Overall:
Pure white combo colors are unrankable.
Taiko, CtB, and standard tags are conflicting!
Preserved Valkyria is not needed in tags, as that is already the song title.
Valkyrie is unneeded in the tags.
Your hitsounding is very unrankable.

[Valkyrie]
General:
Right off the bat, I see you using the Normal sampleset. This is sometimes acceptable, but the default normal-hitnormal is an extremely strong sound, and using it during a song that doesn't have much in the way of regular drum makes the hitsounds abrasive, as if they are competing with the song instead of adding to it.
Also, here's a good simplification of the word 'structure:'
1) Make shapes out of patterns of notes. That is, to say, star patterns (pentagons), monstrata maps (triangles), etc. use this method of structure to make the map solid.
2) Stack notes. Use the same spot for multiple hit circles.
3) Place notes relative to others. This means blanketing, distance snap, etc.
Of course, there are reasons to break these - spacing emphasis among those. These are the basics, though. These will help you tie your patterns together so your maps are more cohesive.
This entire map seems to lack in all 3 of these - especially making shapes. This patterning is found almost nowhere in the map - rather than a structured map, it seems more like a constant stream of notes.
Beyond this, the rhythm has some pretty serious issues. You will need to work on making sure you are actually mapping what the song provides instead of what's in your mind (map to the song instead of warping the song to your own intentions).
And please, for the love of God, do not map high difficulties if it compromises your use of basic ideas like flow, rhythm, spacing emphasis, and structure to this degree.
Specific
00:03:143 (1,2,1) - The problem here is the difference between spacing on the map and spacing in the song. These 3 notes are close to equidistant, and yet 2-3 is half the timing of 1-2.
00:10:692 (1,3,6,1) - Just to exemplify those rules of structure I brought up, these 4 notes, for example, look very messy.
00:12:434 (1,2,3,4,5,6,1) - Similar to the previous point, this seems thoughtlessly placed: try stacking the start of the stream on 00:11:982 (5) - perhaps?
00:14:563 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - There are very few ways to make a stream this long look good, especially with such prominent spacing changes. On top of this, many of the spacing changes, such as 00:18:434 (1,2,3,4,5) - , are noticeably off and inconsistent. You could make nice circular shapes, but things like 00:18:047 (5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1) - look more like a potato.
00:19:208 (1,2,3,4) - As I said before, patterning will help things like this immensely.
00:19:982 (1,2,3,4,5) - Try stacking the start of this stream on the end of 00:19:595 (3) -, or blanketing it around the head of the same slider.
00:20:369 (6,7,8,9,10) - Similar folly, but with 00:19:789 (4) - .
00:20:756 (1,2,3) - People may see this as an extension of the previous very fast streams, it may be beneficial to find some other way to differentiate this from the other streams: it could be just making it straight, or raising its spacing, or one of many other things.
00:20:950 (3,4,5) - While this looks good, 00:21:531 (1) - seems almost entirely unrelated to it, which gives the danger of making the map seem separated from itself.
00:21:724 (2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5) - Try to pick one spacing for this part, there is almost no variation in intensity here. I can imagine raising spacing on 00:22:498 (2,4) - these two, because there are very strong cymbal crashes here, but otherwise, it's pretty plain.
00:24:724 (1,2,3) - This triple generally seems to be spaced a bit too far and curved a bit too much, and doesn't fit in in the section.
00:23:563 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4) - More on patterning: this looks pretty random, but would be much nicer if you found a certain shape to make this into. Maybe a star pattern would work?
00:26:079 (4,1,2,3,4) - Yes, the rhythm here is alright, but 00:26:175 (1) - is very strong - are you sure you want it to just sit in the middle with 0 playing emphasis on it at all?
00:27:723 (1) - ^
00:29:272 (1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,1,2,3,4,5,6,1) - I cannot stress enough how bad of an idea making one of the softest parts into the most difficult thing to play in this whole map is.
00:33:918 (2) - This slider shape could really use some fixing. To put it bluntly, it is aesthetically rated as very bad.
00:35:466 (1) - ^
00:39:982 (2,3,1) - Considering the low SV, such high spacing on this triple doesn't seem to have any effect.
00:39:337 (1,1) - Do these slider shapes have any relation with each other? They really should.
00:40:885 (1,2,3,1,2,3,4) - Here we see multiple different rhythms, and yet the spacing on each is the same. This is counter-intuitive to reading and to playing in general.
00:43:208 (1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - There are some intermittent soft piano notes here, but every other note in this stream does not exist in the song in any meaningful, noticeable way, and is thus only implied - mapping a 232.5 bpm 25 note stream to what is largely nothing is a very poor way to represent the song in any capacity to the player.
00:47:118 (1,2) - Stacking these, or at least moving them closer together, would probably look better.
00:56:826 (1,2,3,1) - The player is exiting a 220 bpm spaced stream, it will be extremely hard to instantly cancel that motion and go the exact opposite direction, then do the exact thing again 5 times in a row before a single slider. The jump spam here is extremely hard on the player for what seems to me like no reason, and the spacing between notes does not follow any sort of emphasis or consistency.
01:01:463 (3) - Despite what the timeline says, the end of this slider is stronger than the head of it, and sliders should start on strong notes and end on notes of equal or lesser strength.
01:03:509 (2) - This slider starts on nothing, repeats on nothing, and ends on a strong note.
01:05:009 (1,2,1,2) - At this speed, and with these angles, it is extremely hard to hit these kick sliders and get 300s. Try ctrl+G ing 01:05:145 (2) - and 01:05:418 (2) - so that both sliders move in the opposite direction.
01:05:963 (2) - As I stated further up in this mod, this slider needs a makeover.
01:10:600 (6,7,8) - Mapping a star and then mapping 3 notes like this in a partial pentagon perfectly overlapping with the previous pattern is both hard to read and changes the pattern for what seems like no reason. As the notes being played do not change, why would you change the spacing you use to represent them? (Though I am personally against the very high spacing you used to represent these.)
01:11:554 (1,2,1,2,3,4,5) - Referencing the structure pointers from the start of this mod: you could make some great shapes out of this! Maybe blanket a circle on the outside of 01:13:054 (5) - .
01:16:872 (3) - This note does not exist. It is an extension of 01:16:736 (2) - which should be mapped with a slider.
01:16:872 (3,1) - There is almost no difference in spacing between this and 01:17:145 (1,2) - despite one being twice as fast.
01:17:690 (2) - I could hardly even hear the note this was mapped to on 25% speed. The player will definitely not detect it - this circle is effectively mapped to nothing. Yes, a sliderend would be acceptable, but otherwise, this doesn't deserve a note.
01:17:145 (1,2,3,1,2,3,4) - All of this part could use all of the rules of structure: stacking 01:16:736 (2,3) - well, maybe making an equilateral triangle out of 01:17:145 (1,2,3) - , etc.
01:18:100 (1,2,3,4) - This is an example of good patterning: this is made into a perfect square. However, it doesn't seem to relate to the preceding or antecedent parts at all. It doesn't flow out of or into them, either.
01:18:645 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - The intensity in this section increased with the introduction of a new instrument - why did spacing decrease?
01:19:463 (6,7) - Try to center this in your pentagon at 01:20:009 (2,3,4,5,6) - . Otherwise, the pentagon looks less balanced and these notes seem to belong much less.
01:20:827 (1,3) - Maybe make these parallel, or curve one and blanket it around the other? There are plenty of ways to make these 2 sliders look better.
01:23:281 (2,3,1,2,3,4,1,2) - Half of these notes (namely 01:23:554 (1,1,2) -) are mapped to nothing. Also, you should try to pick a single track and follow that. Changing the line you are following is often necessary, but flip-flopping between them is the worst possible way to do that, especially when you're just looking for an excuse to spam jumps.
01:25:190 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - I have a lot to say about this jump section. Unfortunately, there are no good things within that.
1) They're very similar distances - you use absolutely no spacing emphasis here.
2) Despite this, they are very visibly different distances - thus, the structuring is poor.
3) Even if you were attempting to use spacing emphasis, some of the absolute strongest notes in this section actually have the shortest spacing (yes, I checked).
4) If you're following drums here, I honestly can't tell. Some notes are mapped to the bells, some notes are mapped to the strings, some are mapped to the drums, some are mapped to nothing at all.
01:26:827 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1) - I find it very hard to calmly express my discontent with the existence of this widely spaced 225 bpm stream to nothing. There are no sounds behind it. The drums don't change, the strings only hit a few choice notes here too. No matter how many lines you are following at once, they do not add up to form this.
01:29:009 (1,2,3,4) - Though the idea behind the pattern itself is creative, only 01:29:009 (1,3) - are mapped to the strings. 01:29:145 (2) - has a head mapped to the drums and an end mapped to nothing, and 01:29:418 (4) - is just mapped to nothing.
01:29:554 (1) - Held notes with nothing to emphasize with sliderends should extend to 1/4 beat before the next note.
01:31:736 (1,2,3,4) - These sliders probably deserve to have some relation to each other.
01:29:827 (2,3,1,2,3) - This implies clockwise circular flow, and yet you give entry to a stream at 01:30:645 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - in a way that both entirely contradicts this and forces the player to make several uncomfortable velocity changes.
01:32:827 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - Isn't this the same spacing you used for the end of the previous stream? The beat snap divisors are different, so find a different way to express this.
01:34:371 (6,5) - Stack these for maximum structure.
01:35:009 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - Up until the last 2 notes, this is actually a pretty good stream shape! Good job.
01:36:918 (1,2,1) - After lots of overmapped streams, I am shocked that you ignored one of your few real opportunities to throw a stream in there.
01:37:190 (1,2) - overlaps like this look pretty bad. Move the circle away from the slider.
01:37:600 (3) - This slider probably needs some reworking.
01:37:600 (3,1,2,1) - Again, you miss a stream opportunity!
01:40:099 (3,5,2,2) - See my dank stacking tips for aforementioned maximum structure.
01:42:100 (1,2,1,2) - Considering 01:42:236 (2,1) - is probably one of the stronger parts of this jump series, why do they have by far the shortest jump length?
After this point, I don't see all that many issues that I haven't pointed out plenty of times already.

From this point on, I sometimeswill not be explaining the reasoning behind the faults I find. They were all very clearly explained in my mod on the Valkyrie diff.

[Afterlife]
General:
If you plan on ranking this (my honest opinion: you won't do so without plenty more experience and some remapping), having 2 custom diff titles is unrankable.
This honestly seems so much better than your top diff. It looks better, it's more structurally sound, streams are nicer, the map is generally hundreds of times better.
A pure white combo color is unrankable.
Placing 2 very similar combo colors (light grey and unrankably bright white, in this case) next to each other is unadvisable. Changing the order of your combo colors would be better received and would help distinguish between combos in your map.
A lot of this map is atrociously underspaced. It makes for a map that is both harder to follow and much less visually appealing. This image demonstrates that this diff is indeed very concentrated on the center. Use the full space you are given!
Overlaps generally make things both aesthetically abrasive and hard to read when not executed well. Many skilled mappers avoid them entirely.
Specific:
00:01:402 (1,3) - When blanketing, the inner object should be equidistant from all parts of the sliderbody it is blanketing.
00:02:466 (3,1) - In structuring maps and making them all pretty, it is bad practice to:
1) Make the angle of entry for this sort of slow-moving slider more than 45 degrees different from the angle at which the slider begins. In this case, it is closer to 315 degrees off.
00:03:143 (1,2) - The distance between these 2 objects in timing is 1/2, yet it is further apart in spacing than 00:01:402 (1,2) - which is twice the time spacing.
00:02:466 (3,4,1) - Similar issue, where 00:02:466 (3,4) - is a longer distance but 00:02:756 (4,1) - is a longer time.
00:04:305 (4,2) - Make sure all of your overlapping looks deliberate! This looks messy.
00:05:466 (1,2,3) - 00:05:853 (3) - is by far the strongest note here, but 00:05:466 (1,2) - is, for whatever reason, a larger spaced jump.
00:06:143 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - Try to make stream curves consistent, they look much better that way.
00:07:595 (1) - This is an extremely intense note in the song, why is spacing so low?
00:13:401 (2,1,2,3,4,1) - This would look much cleaner as a hexagon rather than an amoeba.
00:17:079 (3) - The end of this slider is stronger than the start of it.
00:20:756 (1,2,4) - Make these equidistant and you'll be much happier with them.
00:21:143 (3) - Stack this one on the head of 00:20:176 (2) - .
00:21:531 (1,2) - Try to be consistent in your slider placements. Rotations usually look best at 90 degrees, and sliders that overlap like this are very abrasive to look at.
00:22:305 (3) - This overlaps a bit too much with 00:21:918 (2,3) - . Move it out a lot.
00:23:756 (2,3) - These seem a bit too similar in visual distance to 00:23:079 (1,2) - for their different timing.
00:24:724 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5) - As I have stated so many times, patterning is SO important!
00:24:724 (1,2,3) - Why is this wider in spacing than 00:25:595 (3,4) - ?
00:26:079 (1,2,3,4,5,1,2) - This very heavily overlaps. Also, why do you directly contradict implied flow with 00:26:853 (1,2,3,4,5) - ?
00:27:627 (1,2) - This falls into the same trap as the Valkyrie difficulty in that the 2 here is much stronger, but 1 is the start of the burst. Find a way to make that 2nd note really stand out.
00:28:401 (7,1) - More abrasive overlap is in here under 00:27:627 (1,2,3,4,5) -
00:29:143 (3) - ^
00:28:885 (1,2,3,1) - Try to make this into the sort of square pattern you had a few times in your top diff, those were nice.
00:29:272 (1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1) - Again, having one of the absolute hardest parts of the map being the calmest part of the map is an awful idea.
00:33:143 - Considering the extremely strong note here, you should probably cut 00:32:369 (1) - short and add a hit circle there.
00:33:918 (2,1) - These sliders could use some work.
00:40:111 (2) - Try to make the starting bend and ending bend of this slider more consistent lengths.
00:41:176 (3,4,1,2) - Again, this spacing is very confusing to the player.
00:42:918 (3,2) - Be deliberate in your overlaps.
00:48:100 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5,1,2,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2) - This is generally a mess of consistency. Try to make 2 measures and keep the rhythm you used for those 2 measures in mind as you go.
00:51:236 (2,3,4,5,2,1,2,3) - Overlaps!!
00:57:100 (2,2) - This is an actual good overlap.
00:59:009 (1,1,1,1,1,2) - Try to keep your slider choices consistent. Throwing in these short, sharp-anchored sliders when almost none exist in the rest of the map is a poor idea.
00:59:827 (1,2,1) - Contradicts implied flow very heavily, but why?
01:01:327 (2,4,2,4) - A few things:
1) Avoid the overlap.
2) Try to make distance the same. These sliders are the same shapes, and the same sounds, but in their own patterns, they are hugely different visual distances from each other.
01:02:827 (1,3) - blankets pls
01:14:963 (2,3,4,1) - The slider here feels entirely disassociated with the rest of the pattern. Maybe stack it on 01:14:963 (2) - or something, and use more consistent circular flow.
01:17:690 (1) - Mapped to nothing.
01:19:872 (1,2,3,1,2,3,4,1) - This pattern seems entirely random, with no visible reasoning or structure behind it.
01:26:009 (3) - This contradicts everything in this intense jump pattern up to this point.
01:27:372 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - It's clear what you were going for here, but it looks like it was freehanded. You can use create polygon circles for this and come out with a much cleaner result.
01:38:645 (3) - This should be a circle, not a slider. The end has no note on it.
01:40:600 (2) - The end of this slider is much stronger than the head of the slider.

That's all I have for this diff without being any more redundant than I have been already. The diff struggles from circles-placed-with-no-regard-for-relative-position disorder, and most of the same issues Valkyrie has, and I skipped over a lot of stuff I probably should have pointed out, but it was all the same stuff. You obviously have some good ideas, and your streams look pretty nice, but you need to work on a lot of basic concepts (it'll probably be easier to work on them when you map stuff you can play).

Aight, I might mod more diffs later.