[General]
* I'd say the hitnormal volume is... absolutely no. It's way-way-way too quiet to be enough feedback. Even if I set effect volume 100% and music 20%, I still can't notice the hitnormal sounds clearly. 03:36:854 (2) - This is just one example. This is even a 60% volume part. In 40% volume part, it's even worse.
Furthurmore the music has similar sound in itself as well, so it's even harder to differentiate what is hitnormal and what is the music.
Consider
at least 5x-ing the hitnormal volumes, or consider using different kind of hitnormal sound for the intro so that they don't overlap similarly.
[moonlightleaf]
I feel lack of structure on your parts. I like some nice patterns like 02:50:021 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,1) - 06:18:019 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2,3,4,5,6) - 06:30:019 (1,2,3,4) - 06:47:353 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 06:50:019 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 06:52:686 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1) - (Yes, I like the last part than others), but mostly I can't see much of structure. Most of your placement logic is like 'blanket once' or 'copy paste + rotate once' but that's something even a newbie can do. Other than that, it only has flow and nothing else.
For example, 02:12:688 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2,3,4) - I have no idea what kind of logic you wanted to put in by placing notes in
https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/6521511 this way. 03:11:354 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) - 03:16:687 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - 03:27:354 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - most of other parts are the same. Random overlaps, inconsistent spacing, then what do you have here? Could you explain?
Some things like 03:16:687 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - look almost like a pattern, only if they were more tidy. I mean, why not place them like
https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/6521556 instead of random? 03:20:521 (5,2) - would be cool if the blanket size was equal to 03:21:187 (3,5) - . 06:58:019 (1,2,3,4) - would have been much better if 06:58:353 (2,4) - was similar to 06:58:019 (1,3) - .
I won't point them all out. You need to put some more logic behind your map, so that it gets a solid structure.
Here are some other points regarding other things.
* 01:27:350 - In this part, there are some points where the sliderend has really strong sound and others don't. But the only difference you made there is the hitsound volume, which I think is not sufficient to differentiate properly. I'd recommend to just make every strong sounds clickable, and you'll need to reduce some sliders' length to do it.
* 02:15:354 - Since this point, you started to disconnect all melodies by circles. But why are they inconsistent with 02:10:021 (1,3,4,5) - 02:12:354 (8) - ? There's nothing changed in the music, but the flow is vitally changed.
* 02:25:687 (9,10) - 02:28:354 (6,7) - 02:39:021 (6,7) - 02:41:687 (6,7) - 02:47:021 (9,10) - 02:49:687 (9,10) - What's the point of using 1/4 sliders here, when there's no actual 1/4s nor any special sounds that needs to be represented differently?
* 03:12:687 (1,2,3,4) - I don't get this rhythm. If you wanted to represent that special rhythm here then
http://puu.sh/saRzz/38074a5dad.jpg is more correct.
[Misure]
I think your parts are good, except the last kiai 05:35:353 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2,3,4) - 05:46:019 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - went a bit random-ish.
* 05:31:353 (1,2,3,4) - I don't get this rhythm here too, why both of you used this rhythm? There's nothing important on the first blue tick while 05:31:519 - is a really important sound. See the suggestion I wrote on moonlightleaf's part.
Didn't check the hitsounds, but I think it was overall good except the hitnormal volume.
Well, good luck~
本来是想这个样子的233 不过这么看确实正着比较好 改了
I'll pay attention to similar things next time
