-himei wrote:

Hard:
00:08:620 (5) - looks weird in hard diff, i mean yea it keep the flow and shit, but for newbies it could break the reading ya remapped
00:10:593 (5) - nc maybe like you did here 00:14:738 (1) - ? later
00:16:317 (5) - nc?
00:46:514 (5) - ^?
00:55:396 (4,6) - not stacked? is it intended? fix
01:08:422 (5) - nc?
01:15:330 (5,1) - not stacked properly? fix
01:19:277 (8,9,1) - weird ds here, you got different ds on the tripplets here:
> 01:05:067 (3,4,5) -
> 00:51:646 (2,3,4) -
all fix

01:22:238 (3,5) - stack? fix

Light Insane:
00:01:712 (5,9) - intended overlap? maybe make them stacked? ya
00:01:712 (5,8) - and these too? (sliderend) ya
00:09:606 (2,4) - stack?
00:19:080 (5,2) - ^
00:22:633 (3,5) - ^
00:24:212 (7,1) - ^
00:40:593 (8,10) - ^
00:42:764 (7) - nc? good call

01:03:291 (5) - is it intended? http://puu.sh/rq1NO/82396cde61.jpg its not perfectly linear looks fine to me
01:06:843 (1,2) - ds? what? ho y l wrong snapping oops
01:09:606 (10,11,1) - ds? fix
01:10:594 (2,3,4) - make it less ugly? more curved or straight linear? i think its fine
01:12:172 (7,8,9) - same thing ^
01:12:370 (9,1) - stack? stack leniency wont let me + it would go offscreen and i want that shape
01:22:435 (5,6,7) - handplacement? dude please... fix

thats it!
u didnt mod anything u just put a bunch of stack and nc stuf ._. =(

glhf
if you mind m4m:
https://osu.ppy.sh/s/496609

pinataman wrote:

Hi. Here for M4M if you can't do M4M, then I'd like two testplays. I'll find you in game when we both have time and just ask a few questions. Anyway, hope this helps! yeah, pm me. i'll be on a lot on the weekend or just today. sorry.

[General]

Include kiai sections
as i said before, i really really dont think this song needs a kiai time. there isn't a part that would be super intense, it would have to be like half of the song which is kind of imbalanced for a kiai time.
[Insane]

00:22:633 (3,4) – This jump into (4) feels too high, so it feels like the strong note at 00:23:225 (5) – is being upstaged. I feel like you can figure out a better way to do it, but if you need a suggestion: http://puu.sh/rr2rm/ca0e975a2e.jpg changed, did something different

00:35:462 (7,8) – These objects look just a little too close. Compare to 00:35:856 (8,1) – which had just the right amount of space between them. Aim for this visual spacing and don't worry if you have to increase the jump into (8) a little. good idea

01:19:475 (1) – This is just slightly overlapping the HP Bar. It's not a big change, so moving this down just a little bit should be easy and will improve the design. yeah

01:00:922 (6,7,8) – (7,8) seem positioned oddly. If this is because you felt like you didn't have enough room, then I suggest you move (6) (and the stuff before it) over to the left to make room. i think the spacing is fine, it makes a sort of triangle from the middle of 6 (where people would stop following the slider) to 7 to the stream with enough momentum for it to not be super awkward acceleration. at least in theory.

01:07:633 (4,5) – Flow into (5) feels a bit odd, try something like: http://puu.sh/rr37d/16e31aa563.jpg i made this into 2 1/2 sliders to follow the piano, i'm not sure why it was a reverse slider in the first place ( i guess i got lazy mapping it )

01:22:633 (7,8) – Flow felt a bit odd, consider: http://puu.sh/rr3nX/7be4615c62.jpg changed 7 to point downwards into 8 a bit better. i might change it again to something like your suggestion if that doesn't work well.

01:25:791 (1,2) - There's some rhythm in here that I think can be mapped. Compare to what you did at 01:02:106 (1,3,1) – where even though the music gets calmer, you switch back to the drums after 01:03:685 (1) - . Test out this rhythm which does something similar (switching to 1.00x SV at 01:25:791 (1) – makes more sense for this suggestion) http://puu.sh/rr3CF/b3b946c965.jpg (the long 1/1 slider does a good enough job picking up the singe r imo)
this is a good suggestion, and it does make sense. but i think, following the slow 1/1 slider all the way makes it look nicer and it winds down the song well (i know that theres a bunch of quints after but still). it could be done, but i don't think i will choose to.
ok nvm i changed it, i kept the slow sliders though because i think it looks and plays better to slow down rather than stay at a slow speed for 1 slider only
[Hard]

00:04:277 (2,3) – The DS between (2) and (3)'s slider end is 1.15. It might be interesting visually to make this 1.40x (make sure that the result has 00:05:067 (5) – being a copy of (3) )
00:04:277 (2,3,4) – Similarly, consider making this a triangle (by making the DS between (2,4) be 1.40x as well)
00:04:870 (4,5,1) – triangle?
https://twitchemotes.com/emote/46248
(changed)

00:08:225 (4,5) – Try using this rhythm http://puu.sh/rror7/df9f8c7cc5.jpg good call, ctrl g'd

00:07:830 (3,4) – (assuming you didn't change the above rhythm) blanket could be improved

00:08:620 (5,1) – (assuming you didn't change the above rhythm) Is there a design/flow so that these don't overlap? If not, what is the overlap really accomplishing visually?
well, i did change it but that overlap was more of a byproduct of the spacing. even when it wasn't changed though, it was barely ever actually on the screen, it just showed up in editor.

00:13:159 (3,4,5) – (3)'s body is closer to (4) than (5)'s body. For better visual spacing, try making them the same. yea
00:14:738 (7,8,2) – Similar this would mess up spacing a little too much if i made it equal to 8 imo

00:22:238 (1,2,3) – looks a bit odd happens, no change because i like the rhythm and that pattern ? repeats itself a few times anyway

00:24:212 (6,1) – Try making the spacing of this be about the same as the spacing between 00:23:817 (5,6) – (or find some other structure that works like a 00:24:212 (6,7,1) – triangle: http://puu.sh/rrmQF/aa41c07baf.jpg).

Seems like you get the point and I'll stop being picky about the design. -.-

00:35:856 (1) – Overlapping the HP Bar.
changing it would kind of completely fuck up my blanket on 8, i think that since like 75% of it is visible and it isn't technically offscreen it should be fine

00:39:606 (7,1) – you didn't fully stack these but 00:17:896 (6,1) – is a full stack. I think either philosophy on stacking is fine, but why be inconsistent? If the music calls for in an inconsistency in design, fine, but I don't feel it, so pick one style and stick to it. Apply across the map. every time a stacking error is pointed out a tiny puppy is killed! stop stacking errors today!! (theyre stacked according to the previous mod.)

00:46:514 (5,6,7) – A rhythm like this goes better with the singer imo: http://puu.sh/rro66/13230101c6.jpg so indeed

00:50:462 (4) – Consider http://puu.sh/rrnl2/9b2c4da8be.jpg i would prefer holding out on the vocal note here since most of the rest of the map follows it closely

01:18:883 (7) – Try making this be two circles instead of a slider changed circle + kickslider

01:20:264 (3,4) – Try more of a blanket http://puu.sh/rrnw5/543c6a783e.jpg no, dont think it is needed.

01:25:791 (1,2) – Same rhythm thing as in the Insane in this diff i would definitely follow vocals over quiet piano stuff

[Normal]

00:01:120 (2,5) – These objects look cramped. Try giving them a little space.
00:22:041 (4,1) - ^
01:08:422 (3,4) - ^
And a quite few others throughout the map.
will comb through it and see what i can do, but i dont think it really matters much here...
00:30:330 (5) – I'm not a fan of long gaps in the rhythm. There's other instruments you can use to fill this in, or just go with the long vocal here like http://puu.sh/rrc7y/ee1f7e5edd.jpg hopefully this would be ok, i dont want to remap the entire thing cuz i have to move 1...
00:31:712 (1,2,3) – Also consider the rhythm here seen in the above picture to pick up the note at 00:32:106 – (not sure about this though since your pacing might be better as is) i think i repeated the 1/2 repeat > 1/1 slider structure a lot, so i would keep that here too.

00:23:817 (3,4,1) – Consider the angle that these guys make. It might feel better to have a sharper, more pronounced angle like this: http://puu.sh/rrdWe/62f267944c.jpg i dont think there is a loud enough sound or difference in the instrumentation to justify a sharp angle

00:38:422 (1,2) – It was hard for me feel good about the ½ rhythm. Maybe I'm not a good perspective for this, but try stacking these to alleviate some of the player's energy and let the ½ rhythm do the work in raising the intensity of the map here. fair enough
00:49:080 (2,3) - ^ The same can be said about a few other ½ rhythms, but not necessarily all of them. changed

00:42:172 (1,1) – There is not very much time for the player to recover after this spinner, which can be an issue for a map of this difficulty. I personally would be safe and use a different rhythm than a spinner to avoid this issue. it is a full 2.1, i think it should be enough. i'm obviously not a beginner though. i'll wait for more input.

00:49:870 (4) – This is what the player sees: http://puu.sh/rrbKG/6575ca6341.jpg . This doesn't need to be overlapping the HP Bar like this. Move this down or find something else to do here changed due to stacking up there ^

00:53:620 (5,6) – This issue comes up in a few places. The flow into (6) sometimes feels forced. The motion you make to get to (6) doesn't fit well with the motion the player does in the (5) slider. Something like this might be a bit more natural: http://puu.sh/rrdps/f1669666cb.jpg . However, I think flow comments are too subjective for this to be a real issue with the map, though I think I should give this feedback anyway. slightly changed. i dont think beginners have flow, they "snap" i guess for all of them (just from seeing my noob roommate play lol)

00:57:370 (5,6,1) – This works either way, but consider going with the guitar with a rhythm like this: http://puu.sh/rrd1n/740c8f453f.jpg i think that would make it too dense to follow the vocal, which i was trying to do.

00:57:370 (5,6,1,2) – If you keep what you have than consider your symmetry. Currently, you have a diagonal line that begs for symmetry like this: http://puu.sh/rrd71/b9e3b0f4e7.jpg . If you rotate these objects by 30 degrees, you'll be able to find a better spot for the symmetry. When you do, you'll get something like this, which you can rotate back by 30 degrees: http://puu.sh/rrddi/359e0db4c0.jpg . The result is a little more structure pattern: http://puu.sh/rrdgh/5c1cca8b15.jpg changed, good suggestion

01:00:527 (4) – Someone once told me some good advice. Curve sliders less (for both design and flow reasons). It might be applicable here, it might not, but slider curvature is always something to think about. well, i think these are the only super curvy ones and they make a nice looking pattern so i keep them i think.

01:02:106 (6,7) – This part of the song feels slow (you do something like this in the Insane, so I know you know what I'm talking about). However, in order for the map to feel slow, you would need to make 01:00:527 (4,5) - into a faster rhythm so that this part can feel slow relative to it. Try this: http://puu.sh/rre1u/07a878c78e.jpg i think, while this is a good suggestion, it would be a really big difficulty spike in the part that is supposed to slow down. there isnt another example of that dense of a rhythm in the map, so i think introducing it just to make it contrast with a slow part could be too hard for noobs.

01:03:685 (9) – Again, it might be better to fill this part in by transitioning to another instrument. it could be done, but i think the break is okay since it is a place with no vocals and any rhythm would invariably increase the difficulty too much

01:25:791 (3) – Try something like this: http://puu.sh/rrejZ/e2e6f25cec.jpg
filled in a little
Good luck!

osu file format v14

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Title:Rakuen made
TitleUnicode:Rakuen made
Artist:Nishimori Yusa (CV. Uchida Maaya)
ArtistUnicode:Nishimori Yusa (CV. Uchida Maaya)
Creator:Nao Tomori
Version:Not Tomori's Insane
Source:Charlotte
Tags:nao
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