Khelly vs Railey

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KatouMegumi

Khelly wrote:

Give it to me I'll kill you
Go ahead, hack my dmm account, if you'll ever find if
Yuudachi-kun
This is why I changed to Amatsukaze thus Railey giving me the "nice new av" post
KatouMegumi

Khelly wrote:

This is why I changed to Amatsukaze thus Railey giving me the "nice new av" post
you stole my ex-waifu
Yuudachi-kun
Maybe I'll be Shigure soon again when I can pick it without reminding me of Nick


Aaaaa
Aomi
crybaby khelly
Railey2
Your confrontation-style is a bit accusatory, so he's getting defensive because of that instead of having an open conversation with you. You can see that because he never once talked about how he makes you feel, but only looked at himself to justify his actions. Defensive behavior, most likely prompted by your style of confrontation.

In general, he seems to completely disregard that other people may have different expectations or needs than himself, which is also why he doesn't understand why not talking for two days is a problem for you. Cause it's not a problem for him. As long as he doesn't get that into his head, relationships will be very hard with him.

Additionally, he seems to have a lot of other shit going on at the time and wants to be left alone because talking takes up his energy, which he seems to need for other things at the time (like dealing with whatever life throws at him). This is cutting away at his already limited ability to emphasize even further.

On the flip-side, you might legitimately be too "clingy", and on the fence too fast when you don't get an unusually high amount of attention. I don't know how often you talked and for how long, but not talking for a day usually isn't a big deal. Sometimes, people need breaks and that is ok too.

Also, do you know whats going on with him? You didn't ask how he felt either.

Overall, that's a very unfortunate combination. Him with a very low need for sociability, you with a (as it seems) significantly higher need. Judging from this pastebin, both of you don't seem to really be considerate of the other person, which makes resolving issues like that and finding a compromise near impossible.
Yuudachi-kun
I attempted to try when he said he was away for the day at, apparently, his mum's birthday. Insatantly when I heard that everything went away and I felt good again. I proceeded to ask him if he enjoyed it and what did he do because I could talk about him. At least I think that's being more considerate I don't fucking know.


He never responded and 5 or so hours later I was fed up
AutoMedic
jesus christ wow khelly's experience kinda reminds me of something about a year ago damn
Railey2
he doesn't get why you are fed up, because he himself would never be fed up after only 5 hours. He can't make this mental leap, as it seems. The keywords here are"emotional intelligence", and to be more exact: "empathy". He lacks emotional intelligence in that he has troubles to emphasize with others by seeing things from a perspective that is not his own.

And yes, your expectations of how much attention you get might legitimately be too high. Sometimes people just don't see a message. The extreme of your stance is that he should always reply within 10 minutes of you writing him. Maybe you are too close to that extreme for him to be completely comfortable with you.

Did you consider that you might have to accept that he wants a bit more distance than you?
Yuudachi-kun
I considered it but since I'm known for overreacting when it comes to those things I didn't believe it. Also instead of hearing it feom him we got this instead so there was no chance. I actually bothered hos friend a out it the same day because I didn't want to bring it up to Nick.

1. Because I didn't wnat to bother him
2. Because I didn't want to make him think there's a problem
3. Because I was probably overreacting to the whole "Nick probably hates me and doesn't care" thing I thought of when it did seem he was ignoring me

The thhing is, no responses on anything anywhere for hours at a time WHILE I SEE HIM move from game to game is really fucking grating. I previously had been tolerating it for awhile since I wanted him to enjoy whatever he was doing and not annoy hom but obviously I couldn't stand that for long. Hell you can even see it in the top two lines of the paste since I copy pasted wrongly
Jinn
getting intense
QuillGill

Kisses wrote:

Round 1

Yuudachi-kun
Both of you haven't read because if you did you'd realise this isn't a vs st all
Railey2
problems aren't necessarily a bad thing in relationships. With the right mindset, they can be something to bond over. I agree that you overreacted a bit, but I also think that he should take your feelings more seriously than he did, so it goes both ways.

Generally, I found that assuming the worst ("He doesn't talk to me for a while -> He ignores me. He hates me now") is a very toxic and unhelpful strategy for leading successful relationships. Then again, I'm not as experienced as I make myself sound, so take that with a grain of salt. It makes sense to me though. If you assume the worst, that reflects in your words and actions with many negative implications for the relationship as a whole. It can feel like you're constantly faulting your partner. Try to be more confident, I guess? Although you should still talk about it when you think that something is wrong, but do so confidently and with a positive attitude. Your way of going about it was very insecure/expecting the worst.
Yuudachi-kun
I always expect the worst - one of the things I told his friend was "If I was more optimistic I'd say he was having too much fun and sinply forgetting about me"

After I logged off he instantly unmutualed me and I told him that he sidnt have to do that because I'm still his friend. He said "I' so sorry" and then soon after took me away from everything else. It makes me feel I was right in my assumptions if he'd do that so easily.
Railey2
he does seem to have a lot of shit going on. Maybe he just needs a break or something.

We tend to overestimate the effect we have on others, and also tend to overly blame ourselves or blame others when things go in the wrong direction. Just try to talk to him in a week or so, when his mood and maybe even the circumstances changed for him. Good luck man
Yuudachi-kun
I have no means of doing so as I assume he's already ig ored me on osu (and he hasnt been on osu in 3 days which is strange)

Im going back to bed
2015071
OMG DRAMA!!!

What's up Osunation I'm your host killer 2015071star let's get riiiiiooooggggghhhhhhhttttttttt INTO THE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AutoMedic

2015071 wrote:

OMG DRAMA!!!

What's up Osunation I'm your host killer 2015071star let's get riiiiiooooggggghhhhhhhttttttttt INTO THE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jesus fucking christ end me
Meah
When your bestfriend broke up with his/her couple.
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