IN ANCIENT LEGENDS, IN THE ANCIENT LAND OF MENOPAUSIA, WHERE CORRUPT BITCHES RULE THE WEAK WILLED MASSES. ONE MAN, ONE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT STEPS FORWARD AND SAYS 'NO'.
WITNESS THE HEROIC TALE OF LOVE, REDEMPTION, BETRAYAL, SELF-DESTRUCTION, HOUSECLEANING, AND MARIACHI SINGING TESTICLES THAT IS...
...FERNANDO: THE WIFEBEATER!
Our tale begins inside a mystical suburban town, at the corner of a 7/11, where a lowly Mexican patron begins his weekly job search. Believe it or not, THIS unremarkable brown skinned man is our hero.
"SENOR! HEY SENOR! I'LL MOW YOUR LAWN FOR A DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS...!", the immigrant explains to a walker-by.
"I'M TWELVE YEARS OLD!", says the little boy as he walks on by.
"I HAVE BALL-COONS AND WUMMY BEARS! I SELL THEM TO YOU CHEAP, MUCH CHEAPER THAN STORE-"
"LEARN ENGLISH!", the boy spouts out as he throws his Ipod at the lowly immigrant and storms off.
The penniless man kneels down and examines the the electronic device with a frown.
"Ay dios mio, this is not even a week old. Why do kids today have such low respect for their possessions?"
...On the back of the device, it reads 'MADE IT MEXICO'.
"Oh."
WITNESS THE HEROIC TALE OF LOVE, REDEMPTION, BETRAYAL, SELF-DESTRUCTION, HOUSECLEANING, AND MARIACHI SINGING TESTICLES THAT IS...
...FERNANDO: THE WIFEBEATER!
Our tale begins inside a mystical suburban town, at the corner of a 7/11, where a lowly Mexican patron begins his weekly job search. Believe it or not, THIS unremarkable brown skinned man is our hero.
"SENOR! HEY SENOR! I'LL MOW YOUR LAWN FOR A DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS...!", the immigrant explains to a walker-by.
"I'M TWELVE YEARS OLD!", says the little boy as he walks on by.
"I HAVE BALL-COONS AND WUMMY BEARS! I SELL THEM TO YOU CHEAP, MUCH CHEAPER THAN STORE-"
"LEARN ENGLISH!", the boy spouts out as he throws his Ipod at the lowly immigrant and storms off.
The penniless man kneels down and examines the the electronic device with a frown.
"Ay dios mio, this is not even a week old. Why do kids today have such low respect for their possessions?"
...On the back of the device, it reads 'MADE IT MEXICO'.
"Oh."
