-Wall of text incoming-
I don't really know if "Mental Issue" is the right thing to describe my problem, but I hope it is not missleading. If so, I am sorry.
Alright, so..
I will try to keep this short. Also, I want to apologize for creating another one of these topics. I would prob. find the answer to it somewhere on reddit or in the forums but I just felt like i kinda have to ask, otherwise it will drive me insane.
Since last september I am really trying my best to improve my gameplay. I always try to know my weaknesses and what I am good at and play to improve these things; but there is one thing that bothers me alot. When I was younger I used to spam these hard maps over and over. If you check my profile you will see that I got like 1000 tries on big black alone, which is just stupid. ( Like all of my most played songs actually, but I am past that. I know I can't beat them yet and I won't even try again until I got better.. )
So why am I posting this? I just feel like I have NO idea at all where to start. Because I was stupid and was spamming all kind of hard maps, I find my gameplay to be very bad for my current rank. (NOTE: I do NOT play for PP and do not farm for it. I sometimes randomly FC a song and get some PP for it, but I NEVER really used tillerino. If that's my mistake, please let me know, but I always felt like rank 7.5K is already too high for me. ) An example would be, I could FC almost any Song on Insane, but because my reading is terrible or a random stream pops up, I fail or my acc drops to like 92%. Then again my accuracy gets unstable and I get a sliderbreak or do not pay attention for a second or so. I noticed that a while ago when I was watching a friend of mine. His skill level was always a bit below mine and also today, he is still not as good as me. (My aim is still a bit better than his and I can also tap faster with higher acc n' him.) Yet, he manages to FC almost any song that I am trying to FC for almost 2 months now within 1-10 tries. I decided to FC some easier songs (Most of the time TV-Sized maps on Insane without mods)but it just feels too easy and I feel like I won't improve that way either.
Just so you got an idea of what I am thinking about my gameplay: I know my streaming sucks, my accruaccy isn't the best either. My aim is terrible, my reading could need some improvement and sometimes I don't snap to notes. The only thing that I am really good at is fast jumps on higher bpms, but since my streaming is garbage and my accuracy is even worse, I can't take much advantage of that.(Also, my stamina is rather weak, but that's another problem and I do not plan on fixing this until I can actually go for the 200bpm+ streams.) I know how to improve. When I started to really focus on improvement in september, I went to the forums and tried to get as much information on improving as possible. I know that I have to play more. I just don't know WHAT I should play next and what I should focus on first. I mean, I got like 20k+ beatmaps and I rarly play the same beatmap more n' 3-4 times because its either too easy to FC or too hard to FC. I really wanted to become a DT HD player. I really enjoy the DT/NC Mod and especially TV-Size Maps on 220bpm+.There is only one problem: I can't stream properly on higher bpm. ( Even 170 is high for me, while I can easily play 220-230bpm+ maps if they do not have any streams. ) So I decided to start with some HD HR, but I can't really read it and my accuracy is absolute terrible.(I know it's a good run if I get 93% lol) Also, I really do not enjoy playing it.(If I have to play it to improve, I'd still play it.) I know it's hard to read and get good acc since I just started using the mod. But still, I'd prefer DT HD much more.
My biggest problem next to accuracy is prob. streaming. The thing is, I LOVE streaming maps. I don't really know why, I just get this good feeling whenever I manage to complete a stream without mistakes. My current goal is 200bpm to beat some of the Dragonforce maps, but I do not really only care about that. It's just something I really want to achieve. I know that ACC is more important then Speed but I feel like even for my current skill level not being able to stream 150bpm for more n' 20 hits is just.. I don't really know. I am a perfectionist. My actual goal is always to improve what I am bad at, to get the best overall gameplay possible. I am literally spamming freedom dive and blue zenith on half time over and over and over, just to get any better at it. Without success so far. (Been about 3 weeks now and I doubt it is a stamina problem since I was literally spamming these maps and never really managed to get my arm tired, So I guess it some kind of mental block that I have no idea on how to fix yet.) I just feel that's not the solution to my problem and won't make me play better in other aspects of the game. I'd prob. just want to talk with someone ingame about that or just know if I am worrying too much about my current skill level. I still enjoy osu!. Actually, playing to get better makes osu! even more fun for me.
Now to the actual question. Do I worry too much? What should I really focus on for now? Or should I even focus on something? Maybe you also got any other tips that might help me.
I know this sounds so stupid, but it's like something that is running through my head whenever I start up Osu! and I just want to get rid of it.
NOTE: I do not expect to be the best player ever now that I get some help. I still know that I need to play more (like, ALOT more) and if you're going to tell me that I need to practice XYZ for 92835798 plays, it's fine for me. (Otherwise I would not post this lol) I would literally do anything to improve, I'd just like to know what exactly I should be working on and how I should be facing these kind of problems. (And stop myself from buying a new keyboard every 3 months.)
Thanks for ANY kind of help.
I don't really know if "Mental Issue" is the right thing to describe my problem, but I hope it is not missleading. If so, I am sorry.
Alright, so..
I will try to keep this short. Also, I want to apologize for creating another one of these topics. I would prob. find the answer to it somewhere on reddit or in the forums but I just felt like i kinda have to ask, otherwise it will drive me insane.
Since last september I am really trying my best to improve my gameplay. I always try to know my weaknesses and what I am good at and play to improve these things; but there is one thing that bothers me alot. When I was younger I used to spam these hard maps over and over. If you check my profile you will see that I got like 1000 tries on big black alone, which is just stupid. ( Like all of my most played songs actually, but I am past that. I know I can't beat them yet and I won't even try again until I got better.. )
So why am I posting this? I just feel like I have NO idea at all where to start. Because I was stupid and was spamming all kind of hard maps, I find my gameplay to be very bad for my current rank. (NOTE: I do NOT play for PP and do not farm for it. I sometimes randomly FC a song and get some PP for it, but I NEVER really used tillerino. If that's my mistake, please let me know, but I always felt like rank 7.5K is already too high for me. ) An example would be, I could FC almost any Song on Insane, but because my reading is terrible or a random stream pops up, I fail or my acc drops to like 92%. Then again my accuracy gets unstable and I get a sliderbreak or do not pay attention for a second or so. I noticed that a while ago when I was watching a friend of mine. His skill level was always a bit below mine and also today, he is still not as good as me. (My aim is still a bit better than his and I can also tap faster with higher acc n' him.) Yet, he manages to FC almost any song that I am trying to FC for almost 2 months now within 1-10 tries. I decided to FC some easier songs (Most of the time TV-Sized maps on Insane without mods)but it just feels too easy and I feel like I won't improve that way either.
Just so you got an idea of what I am thinking about my gameplay: I know my streaming sucks, my accruaccy isn't the best either. My aim is terrible, my reading could need some improvement and sometimes I don't snap to notes. The only thing that I am really good at is fast jumps on higher bpms, but since my streaming is garbage and my accuracy is even worse, I can't take much advantage of that.(Also, my stamina is rather weak, but that's another problem and I do not plan on fixing this until I can actually go for the 200bpm+ streams.) I know how to improve. When I started to really focus on improvement in september, I went to the forums and tried to get as much information on improving as possible. I know that I have to play more. I just don't know WHAT I should play next and what I should focus on first. I mean, I got like 20k+ beatmaps and I rarly play the same beatmap more n' 3-4 times because its either too easy to FC or too hard to FC. I really wanted to become a DT HD player. I really enjoy the DT/NC Mod and especially TV-Size Maps on 220bpm+.There is only one problem: I can't stream properly on higher bpm. ( Even 170 is high for me, while I can easily play 220-230bpm+ maps if they do not have any streams. ) So I decided to start with some HD HR, but I can't really read it and my accuracy is absolute terrible.(I know it's a good run if I get 93% lol) Also, I really do not enjoy playing it.(If I have to play it to improve, I'd still play it.) I know it's hard to read and get good acc since I just started using the mod. But still, I'd prefer DT HD much more.
My biggest problem next to accuracy is prob. streaming. The thing is, I LOVE streaming maps. I don't really know why, I just get this good feeling whenever I manage to complete a stream without mistakes. My current goal is 200bpm to beat some of the Dragonforce maps, but I do not really only care about that. It's just something I really want to achieve. I know that ACC is more important then Speed but I feel like even for my current skill level not being able to stream 150bpm for more n' 20 hits is just.. I don't really know. I am a perfectionist. My actual goal is always to improve what I am bad at, to get the best overall gameplay possible. I am literally spamming freedom dive and blue zenith on half time over and over and over, just to get any better at it. Without success so far. (Been about 3 weeks now and I doubt it is a stamina problem since I was literally spamming these maps and never really managed to get my arm tired, So I guess it some kind of mental block that I have no idea on how to fix yet.) I just feel that's not the solution to my problem and won't make me play better in other aspects of the game. I'd prob. just want to talk with someone ingame about that or just know if I am worrying too much about my current skill level. I still enjoy osu!. Actually, playing to get better makes osu! even more fun for me.
Now to the actual question. Do I worry too much? What should I really focus on for now? Or should I even focus on something? Maybe you also got any other tips that might help me.
I know this sounds so stupid, but it's like something that is running through my head whenever I start up Osu! and I just want to get rid of it.
NOTE: I do not expect to be the best player ever now that I get some help. I still know that I need to play more (like, ALOT more) and if you're going to tell me that I need to practice XYZ for 92835798 plays, it's fine for me. (Otherwise I would not post this lol) I would literally do anything to improve, I'd just like to know what exactly I should be working on and how I should be facing these kind of problems. (And stop myself from buying a new keyboard every 3 months.)
Thanks for ANY kind of help.