Eloc wrote:

I'm just some weird high school kid who spends way too much time on his computer. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old(not much memory of it lol) and I used to wake up with crust over my eyes from crying in the night. I don't want to make this sad though so let's put that behind me. I live in a city in BC, Canada alternating between my moms and dads house(they fight sometimes so I try to act as a mediator.) I have a few friends but no-one I know in real life is that close to me including my parents. I have a younger step-sister who throughly enjoys trying to irritate me and a step-mom who try's her best but can at times get really angry at people without reason. I'll try to add to this later but I'm a little stuck so this is it for now. Just ask if you want to know anything else!

That sucks mang.

Daily reminder to never marry in this day and age. You set yourself up to a 50% chance of losing your children, 50% of your income, your house, and (obviously) your wife.

penis xd

My life is pretty much the same as any computer dwelling person my age, honestly. Worrying about my GCSEs, living with my father who works too hard and feeling horrible not being able to help him because he doesn't want me to start working yet, not being able to see my mother unless I travel on a plane for 22 hours, having to look after my little cousins who are pretty cool, doubting myself, being bad at maths and doubting myself even more, watching Youtubers like Jacksepticeye, Game Grumps and Markiplier to make me feel better about myself, having a crush who I can't even tell half a joke to without getting shy...

I guess that's about it? Not too good but certainly not too bad.

My psychiatrist doesn't like homeschooling so she convinced my family, with like two sentences, to send me mental hospital schooling.
I haven't given her any reason to think homeschooling would be good for me, so it's okay.
Going back to school and gradually lying to my family that I'm feeling better, just to be utilitarian.

i play games, skype my friends/gf and occasionally go to uni

im sorry my life isn't as depressinginteresting as all these other wonderful stories

lol wrote:

i play games, skype my friends/gf and occasionally go to uni

im sorry my life isn't as depressinginteresting as all these other wonderful stories

i have a feeling that your story is the most wonderful

On Osu 5-8 hours a day.
My life is a mess right now.

> Wakes up around 5AM.
> School until 4PM.
> Plays until 12Am.
>Lay on my bed looking at my ceiling until 3AM.
>Repeat.

R.i.p my exam marks and hello last minute procrastination.
Curse you, Osu.

Eloc wrote:

I'm just some weird high school kid who spends way too much time on his computer. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old(not much memory of it lol) and I used to wake up with crust over my eyes from crying in the night. I don't want to make this sad though so let's put that behind me. I live in a city in BC, Canada alternating between my moms and dads house(they fight sometimes so I try to act as a mediator.) I have a few friends but no-one I know in real life is that close to me including my parents. I have a younger step-sister who throughly enjoys trying to irritate me and a step-mom who try's her best but can at times get really angry at people without reason. I'll try to add to this later but I'm a little stuck so this is it for now. Just ask if you want to know anything else!

I'm gonna go ahead and say be thankful that it happened that early. It happened when I was 17 and oh boy, it was bad. If your stepmom tries her best, maybe you should talk to her about how you feel about your relationship and what you feel should be different.

As for high school, put yourself out there. I've been on both sides of the social skills spectrum and literally all you have to do is try. In the beginning, if you're socially inept, you'll screw up - that's natural. Take the time to go over what you screwed up, so that next time, the mistake is different. Eventually, they'll be so minor (to the point that they might as well be nonexistent) that they won't affect your life anymore. Remember, keep on learning! Every opportunity you have to talk to someone that's not weird (e.g. you're in class, walking in opposite directions, etc.), take it. Talk over lunch, meet new people, sit outside, introduce yourself. You'll notice big changes.

ImYourFood wrote:

I want to confess to my crush, but too shy.
Also thinking if I should go to Culinary Arts or Computer Science.

You have literally nothing to lose in confessing. It's not happening right now, it's not gonna happen if you don't say anything, and there's a chance that it might if you do.

As for major, cs >, but I'm biased (I have skin in the game)

Osu! League, and School! Oh and I plan to have a dank spring break road trip! And I lost my tablet pen so I'm pretty pissed about that... I want to get a rechargeable one but some people said it doesn't work well with osu, so idk.

tl;dr

depression and lack of motivation, social anxiety and w/e comes with it

i have a job where i earn enough to have my own money (my parents basically pay everything for me anyway) and i am at uni but i feel really tired with the routine and i can't exactly feel happiness at anything i do

don't really have any irl friends (i am an extremely socially awkward person) and most of the time i'm trying to get distracted from the fact that i am just not enjoying my life properly, which doesn't really work

tried taking medication and shit but it has mostly made things worse

tbh i know that it all depends on me, there's no specific motivation/"person that can talk to me about anything" that will solve my situation, i just have to start actually being happy, but to reach that point is what idk how to

I keep fighting and fighting for someone that I'll never get back. I don't know why I keep doing that. It has pretty much become a reason / excuse to push myself to the limit in pretty much everything I do but at the price of it being very draining on my mental health... I have tried medication which seemed to help at first but it feels useless now.

It sucks not being the soulmate of your soulmate.

reminder that you can always take a break from school/college if ever you feel like a total mess

well that's what I did

Well, I barely talk to any of my 'friends' anymore.
There is no one I talk to daily nowadays.
My irl friends started ignoring me as well, for some reason.

I'm doing better at osu! so I guess that's a plus... not.

some things turn out great guys
last summer I was diagnosed with BPD and had to pay 5k out of pocket to cover costs of medication, treatment and the constant being in and out of the hospital. I lost my job but then I went into my family business of electrical/mechanical drafting when my uncle saw I was stable enough. My old manager also asked for me back so now I have two jobs and I go to school for a physics and computer science degree (double major).

also life gets better cuz I got a penthouse and can show off the fuck out of it at my age. Life doesn't have to be sad.

I'm working, eating, and sleeping. Rinse and repeat. Still living with my parents and still single. I got my own credit card now so I finally have full control and analysis over my expenses. Situation: not good at all

unemployed single father with 7 kids and 3 cats

do nothing, just breathing. or in de cave.,

ARE YOU READYYYYYY
ADRENALINE IS PUMPING
ADRENALINE IS PUMPING
GENERATOR
AUTOMATIC LOVER
ATOMIC
OVERDRIVE
BLOCKBUSTER
BRAIN POWER
CALL ME LEADER
COCAINE
DONT YOU TRY IT
INNOVATOR
KILLER MACHINE
THERES NO FAITH
TAKE CONTROL
BRAIN POWER
LET - THE - BASS - KICK
O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Smuuu wrote:

COCAINE

kill urself jk

the actual line is "okay?"

.__________.

Mahogany wrote:

Smuuu wrote:

COCAINE

kill urself jk

the actual line is "okay?"

.__________.

Smuuu wrote:

COCAINE
DONT YOU TRY IT

I'm pretty sure that's the actual line >.>

No

Hika wrote:

some things turn out great guys
last summer I was diagnosed with BPD and had to pay 5k out of pocket to cover costs of medication, treatment and the constant being in and out of the hospital. I lost my job but then I went into my family business of electrical/mechanical drafting when my uncle saw I was stable enough. My old manager also asked for me back so now I have two jobs and I go to school for a physics and computer science degree (double major).

also life gets better cuz I got a penthouse and can show off the fuck out of it at my age. Life doesn't have to be sad.

"penthouse"
don't you live in georgia? isn't rent really cheap there? not trying to knock off your achievements because that's still pretty fucking awesome but just out of curiosity. i'm sorry you got fucked over by our shitty health care system.

Rotting
Withering
Dying

I guess.

Oh I thought this thread would be full of happy stories but it seems opposite.

My life is full of stress currently. Im in school and part time currently. But I cant really take break from shop because I really need that money to eat and pay rents. I should graduate from school in next three months if everything goes okey.

Besides of this everything is fine with parents and with my loving girlfriend.

And because I dont have much free time I havent been playing osu! that much.

Now my life has taken a new direction and these problems I mentioned here on my previous post are kinda solved now.

The bad side of this all is that I've been suffering panic attacks and severe anxiety. I am an anxious person by nature but I think it has developed into a serious problem.

I'm 99% sure I suffer GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). It's hard for me to calm down and I just can't stop overthinking. I imagine the worsts scenarios for everything that might happen in the future as a way to be prepared for the worst (because I lost a lot of self confidence) but all it does is exhaust me and break down. I am aware it does nothing but hurt me rather than helping me but I can't handle it.

I can't stop worrying even though everything will be ok no matter how things turn out. It doesn't have to be perfect, but even knowing so, failing is my biggest fear. I'm always feeling under pressure. I have to take two exams in April and only have like 2 weeks to study for both and it's driving me crazy. It will be fine if I don't pass, but I really want to do good. So I'm trying to focus and try hard as much as I can in order to believe a little more in myself.
What makes it worse is that these worries lead to other paranoid thoughts such as feeling isolated or rejected by everyone when it's completely the opposite. Everyone is rooting for me but when this problem takes control of me it won't let me realize it and makes me go blind. It simply makes me think about things that don't make any sense and just torture me further until I end up crying desperately.

It's a burden, I want to stop feeling like this. It's horrible. I need someone to support me constantly. If I don't see other people supporting me it becomes even more difficult to believe in myself, but that's also a big deal because every time I want to rely on someone I just can't open up and say what I think easily. I feel like I'm being a nuisance and making my friends carry with my own burden.
This is also frustrating because it affects on how I interact with people. It makes me feel irritated/depressed/non talkative and even more when people can't understand how I feel, although I can't even understand myself, lol. It's stupid but that's how it is.

I have a lot of trouble sleeping and eating. I feel like I'm losing weight, and when I eat I feel like throwing up sometimes. I'm always feeling exhausted, so I'm trying to soothe my nerves by drinking linen tea, taking deep breaths frequently and repeat on my head positive thoughts over and over as a way to shoo away my recurrent negative thoughts. So yeah I think I have it a bit more under control now. I still feel uneasy and I also worry a lot sometimes but that's much better than panicking more than twice per day. I'm trying to avoid these negative thoughts and try to see the future as it is: uncertain. So yeah, anticipating terrible scenarios that might take place in the future is my worst enemy, indeed. It's more likely that they won't take place, but I still think they will and that's where I end up worrying about it over and over and over again, resulting in a painful never ending cycle.


Sorry for such a long and boring post. I couldn't resume it since my problem involves a lot of things while affecting them in negative ways.
My mental health is a mess right now.

at the moment my life is fucking fantastic

i have fuck loads of money
my gf is fucking great
im never bored
always happy
since a young age i have been praised for being intellectually superior than everyone else
im basically fucking perfect right now

blow me

lol wrote:

at the moment my life is fucking fantastic

i have fuck loads of money
my gf is fucking great
im never bored
always happy
since a young age i have been praised for being intellectually superior than everyone else
im basically fucking perfect right now

blow me

Intellectually superior TO everyone else or much intellectually superior than everyone else
Much jelly

My life consists if talking to lol and having a shit ass sleep cycle as well as taking my double quota of memes

I'm currently on the verge on failing chemistry, but I got a really good quiz grade so I should be ok

lol wrote:

blow me

go hire one
:^)

Rilene wrote:

lol wrote:

blow me

go hire one
:^)

I volunteer

lol wrote:

at the moment my life is fucking fantastic

i have fuck loads of money
my gf is fucking great
im never bored
always happy
since a young age i have been praised for being intellectually superior than everyone else
im basically fucking perfect right now

blow me

Please give me your signature!

lol wrote:

at the moment my life is fucking fantastic

i have fuck loads of money
my gf is fucking great
im never bored
always happy
since a young age i have been praised for being intellectually superior than everyone else
im basically fucking perfect right now

blow me

That's great, but it's likely that that happiness will be short-lived.
Do you work a part-time job, if anything?

Therieri wrote:

;)
Please give me your signature!

pm me

Aomi wrote:

lol wrote:

at the moment my life is fucking fantastic

i have fuck loads of money
my gf is fucking great
im never bored
always happy
since a young age i have been praised for being intellectually superior than everyone else
im basically fucking perfect right now

blow me

That's great, but it's likely that that happiness will be short-lived.
Do you work a part-time job, if anything?

what makes you say that?
And kind of, I freelance web dev every now and then while at uni

lol wrote:

what makes you say that?
And kind of, I freelance web dev every now and then while at uni

I'm a pessimist, it's in my nature.
And life is just like that.
Won't let you be happy for too long, but will make you feel like complete and utter shit for prolonged periods of time, because it can.
Sometimes even your most loved ones won't make the situation better.

someone died

The worst thing about this thread isn't that everyone has depressing lives

It's the fact you've all accepted it and aren't trying to change it

Slowly getting motivation back - trying to have high spirits.
I feel really inspired.

let's see...i'm trying to re-build my life after a rough 3rd and 4th year of high school. college has its ups and downs with different classmates but i won't get into that.
slowly letting go of the friends i used to love and care for which is a process, but i'm getting there.
working right now to take a break from schooling.
working on a big personal project on which i hope i'll accomplish someday.

to put it in a nutshell, it's a slow process in re-building but overall i'm in the right track.

kill me

Reditum wrote:

kill me

same

lol wrote:

The worst thing about this thread isn't that everyone has depressing lives

It's the fact you've all accepted it and aren't trying to change it

It's false.

lol wrote:

The worst thing about this thread isn't that everyone has depressing lives

It's the fact you've all accepted it and aren't trying to change it

You've been blessed with superior intelligence, Mr. Genius, so you should've come to the conclusion that the nature of this thread is to vent when shit is going down. Couple that with the average age of your wanker here, and voila - the reason why everyone seems so depressed and helpless. :p

Having said that, my life's pretty much the same as yours atm, but I'd like to swap out the gf part for good health.

just imagine a cluster of chaos

So busy with work

B1rd wrote:

SPOILER

same

School sucks, but only one more year till college so that's good. I don't have anyone I really talk to outside of school or work, and certainly nobody I can start a relationship with. Speaking of work, I've had a job for over a year, which is nice. My ADHD is sort of under control, still a mess when not medicated, but my depression is a complete nightmare. It isn't the doom and gloom flavor of depression. No, this is the kind where you become an emotionless husk, and feel all alone. My family has moved twice with pretty much no notice (two months at most), and I have lost friends both times, and my girlfriend the last time.

This being said, I am doing waaay better in school this year than I did last year. osu! is pretty much the only place where I can forget about being stuck 2000 (3218 km for most of you) miles away from my hometown surrounded by people I don't care about, and who acknowledge my presence, at most.


**UPDATE** I got a 31 on the ACT! For those who don't know, the ACT is an American standardized test every 17 year old takes (at least in Wisconsin), and 31 puts me in I believe the 96th percentile! This has led to a huge boost in confidence and I started working to actually make some friends.