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pocotan - Dear Jewel

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Topic Starter
Meg
adore kirai
Akitoshi

Meg wrote:

ここは遊び場じゃねえ!
HootOwlStar
As requested.
[Extra]
  1. 00:01:670 (1,2,3,4) - imo 00:07:156 (1,2,3,4) - is better in emphasizing music since reversing motion doesn't really help here
  2. 00:16:241 (6,7,8) - either stacking them at position of 00:16:413 (8) - or making them as a linear one instead of curve since it is reaally untidy thr
  3. 00:58:070 (4,5) - https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/5037059
  4. 01:18:813 (2) - separate them int o 2 circles is better in clicking sense tbh
  5. 02:14:613 (2) - move to around x:108 y:68?
  6. 02:18:641 (7,1) - separate them a little since they are like almost crashing together imo
  7. 04:07:156 (1,2,3) - doesnt flow well. what about making (2) like https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/5037103?
  8. 04:23:956 (2) - better unstack imo since it kind of like destruct the motion
sorry for short mod. and good luck
Topic Starter
Meg

HootOwlStar wrote:

As requested.
[Extra]
  1. 00:01:670 (1,2,3,4) - imo 00:07:156 (1,2,3,4) - is better in emphasizing music since reversing motion doesn't really help here i think it doesn't need to change, keep
  2. 00:16:241 (6,7,8) - either stacking them at position of 00:16:413 (8) - or making them as a linear one instead of curve since it is reaally untidy thr it makes flow, keep
  3. 00:58:070 (4,5) - https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/5037059 ok
  4. 01:18:813 (2) - separate them int o 2 circles is better in clicking sense tbh ok
  5. 02:14:613 (2) - move to around x:108 y:68? i changed like it
  6. 02:18:641 (7,1) - separate them a little since they are like almost crashing together imo ok
  7. 04:07:156 (1,2,3) - doesnt flow well. what about making (2) like https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/5037103? this pattern is specific style of this map, keep
  8. 04:23:956 (2) - better unstack imo since it kind of like destruct the motion ok
sorry for short mod. and good luck
thank you for modding!
Reillia
[Jewely Box]
00:19:756 (4,1,2,4,1,2) - 三角形出るようにするのはどうですか?
00:44:270 - ここから 00:48:984 - ここまで必要としない緑の線消去くれ。
00:50:699 (5,1) - 赤い点を 00:50:699 (5) - 尾にスタックさせるのはどうですか?もっときれいになると思います。00:56:184 (1,2) - 00:56:184 (1) - のブランケットするのはどうですか?01:01:327 (1,2,1) - このように、三角形作るのはどう?01:13:499 (2,3,2) - ^ 01:16:413 (1,1) - 01:16:413 (1) - の尾を完全にスタックするのはどうですか?
02:18:641 (7,1) - 表示良くないオーバーラップと思う。

疲れてここまで ;w;
Haruto
yo meg, as requested :D

[General]
  1. Maybe add DnB or EDM to the tags? since this is a remix anyway
  2. Why not change the diff name to Jewelry instead ww
[Storyboard]
  1. You know, instead using SB/Black you can Fade out Backgrounds like, become blackish tho :/ consider to remove SB/Black and Fade the Background manually
  2. 00:44:184 - i think the fade out here are too early, maybe make it slowly fade on 00:43:670 - ?
  3. Highlight from 00:49:327 - 00:49:413 - are a bit out of place imo. This can cause a DQ tho
  4. 00:55:841 - you didnt fade SB/Black slowly here as i pointed out before ;_;.
  5. 03:33:041 - highlight here are a bit out of place too
  6. 03:56:184 - the SB loads really huge here, you placed 2 rings and highlights. consider to reduce these stuff, might be unrankable i guess
  7. 04:19:499 - 04:23:613 - SB loads really huge too here x__x

    Ok, your SB is kinda confusing for me xD too many Files of SB/Black which makes me confused when modding the sb ;_;
[Jewelry Box]
  1. 00:00:299 (1) - nazi, the curve here can be better imo :D
  2. 00:19:327 (7,8,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1) - meg so illuminati ww
  3. 00:22:756 (3) - do you know what is claustrophobia? this slider looks like a claustrophobia map means it doesnt have any space/room left. consider to stretch sliders like this but uh just my personal preference anyway www
  4. 00:26:356 - make something clickable here maybe?
  5. 00:27:384 - why not add a circle here? kinda weird to ignore this beat imo
  6. 01:17:784 (5,1) - hmm the spacing, this feels really weird and kinda , unreadable imo. players are focusing on 01:17:270 (2,3,4,5) - and then you suddenly put a cirlce below 01:17:441 (3) - and NC'ed the circle which is kinda, yea weird. i think the note here needs an emphasis more
  7. 01:35:613 (1,2) - nazi, blanket ww
  8. 02:40:927 (2) - i think the wave can be better imo
  9. 02:45:727 (2) - claustrophobia slider, like no more space or room left
  10. 03:00:813 (1) - i think there's no sound on 03:00:899 - , overmapped maybe? or just convert this slider into 1/2 notes
  11. 03:33:899 (1,2) - nazi stack ww
  12. 03:42:984 (5) - why sudden claustrophobia slider?
  13. 04:00:641 (3,1) - nazi blanket www
  14. 04:01:499 (3,1) - the spacing feels a bit large imo, players still focuses on 04:01:327 (2,3) - meanwhile you added a note with NC. that is suprising tho xD i've miss stuff when playing here lol
  15. 04:17:784 (1,1) - blanket www
  16. 04:46:070 (4,5,6) - why 04:46:413 (5,6) - isnt used the same slider like 04:46:070 (4) - ? make it consistent would be nice imo ww
  17. 04:55:327 (1,2,3) - triangle could be better imo :DDDD
Feedback : Really Awesome map and SB, not really structured style but so flowy and plays really nice. Rank this please!
[]
Thats all i guess, kinda useless mod cuz the map is already nice as it is imo ;w;
Good Luck Meg (」・ω・)」
Topic Starter
Meg

Haruto wrote:

yo meg, as requested :D

[General]
  1. Maybe add DnB or EDM to the tags? since this is a remix anyway ok
  2. Why not change the diff name to Jewelry instead ww
[Storyboard]
  1. You know, instead using SB/Black you can Fade out Backgrounds like, become blackish tho :/ consider to remove SB/Black and Fade the Background manually
  2. 00:44:184 - i think the fade out here are too early, maybe make it slowly fade on 00:43:670 - ?
  3. Highlight from 00:49:327 - 00:49:413 - are a bit out of place imo. This can cause a DQ tho
  4. 00:55:841 - you didnt fade SB/Black slowly here as i pointed out before ;_;.
  5. 03:33:041 - highlight here are a bit out of place too
  6. 03:56:184 - the SB loads really huge here, you placed 2 rings and highlights. consider to reduce these stuff, might be unrankable i guess
  7. 04:19:499 - 04:23:613 - SB loads really huge too here x__x

    Ok, your SB is kinda confusing for me xD too many Files of SB/Black which makes me confused when modding the sb ;_;
[Jewelry Box]
  1. 00:00:299 (1) - nazi, the curve here can be better imo :D ok
  2. 00:19:327 (7,8,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1) - meg so illuminati ww :33
  3. 00:22:756 (3) - do you know what is claustrophobia? this slider looks like a claustrophobia map means it doesnt have any space/room left. consider to stretch sliders like this but uh just my personal preference anyway www the sliders are style on this map. i don't change
  4. 00:26:356 - make something clickable here maybe? keep
  5. 00:27:384 - why not add a circle here? kinda weird to ignore this beat imo i wanna make a different rhythm for avoiding to feel boring. so i put it
  6. 01:17:784 (5,1) - hmm the spacing, this feels really weird and kinda , unreadable imo. players are focusing on 01:17:270 (2,3,4,5) - and then you suddenly put a cirlce below 01:17:441 (3) - and NC'ed the circle which is kinda, yea weird. i think the note here needs an emphasis more i asked many palyers to testplay. but they didn't confused so no problem xd
  7. 01:35:613 (1,2) - nazi, blanket ww ok
  8. 02:40:927 (2) - i think the wave can be better imo ok
  9. 02:45:727 (2) - claustrophobia slider, like no more space or room left same as above
  10. 03:00:813 (1) - i think there's no sound on 03:00:899 - , overmapped maybe? or just convert this slider into 1/2 notes ok
  11. 03:33:899 (1,2) - nazi stack ww ok
  12. 03:42:984 (5) - why sudden claustrophobia slider? same as above
  13. 04:00:641 (3,1) - nazi blanket www ok
  14. 04:01:499 (3,1) - the spacing feels a bit large imo, players still focuses on 04:01:327 (2,3) - meanwhile you added a note with NC. that is suprising tho xD i've miss stuff when playing here lol this is last Kiai time. so i made hard a bit
  15. 04:17:784 (1,1) - blanket www ok
  16. 04:46:070 (4,5,6) - why 04:46:413 (5,6) - isnt used the same slider like 04:46:070 (4) - ? make it consistent would be nice imo ww same as above
  17. 04:55:327 (1,2,3) - triangle could be better imo :DDDD ok
Feedback : Really Awesome map and SB, not really structured style but so flowy and plays really nice. Rank this please!
[]
Thats all i guess, kinda useless mod cuz the map is already nice as it is imo ;w;
Good Luck Meg (」・ω・)」
thank you for modding!
i will see SB mod later
Topic Starter
Meg
I fixed SB code also Haruto's SB check
Patchouli

待たせたな!

とりあえず54行目ですがeasing入れたほうが綺麗かなー?って思いました。表示時間が少し長めに取られてるのでeasing1で
Sprite,Background,Centre,"BG1.jpg",320,240
F,0,90813,91841,1,0
S,1,90813,91841,0.644,1
F,0,112756,113784,1,0
S,0,112756,113784,0.644,1
F,0,263613,264641,1,0
S,0,263613,264641,0.644,1

素材とかはチェックしてないですスペアナ演出が大変綺麗でした。
Topic Starter
Meg

Patchouli wrote:


待たせたな!

とりあえず54行目ですがeasing入れたほうが綺麗かなー?って思いました。表示時間が少し長めに取られてるのでeasing1で
Sprite,Background,Centre,"BG1.jpg",320,240
F,0,90813,91841,1,0
S,1,90813,91841,0.644,1
F,0,112756,113784,1,0
S,0,112756,113784,0.644,1
F,0,263613,264641,1,0
S,0,263613,264641,0.644,1

素材とかはチェックしてないですスペアナ演出が大変綺麗でした。
こういう使い方するんですね~勉強になった・・・
ありがとうございます!
iyasine
がんばえ~~
Homura-
01:19:499 (2) - うわ近ーッ!  見た目重視で01:18:813 (2,3) - の中間(x:68 y:217)あたりにしない?
rollpan
[Jewelry Box]
  1. 00:58:070 (4,5) - ちょっと見にくいかも こんな感じでどうですか? https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/5474596
  2. 01:10:756 (4,5,6) - Ctrl + Gの方がやりやすい気がします
  3. 01:30:470 (2) - NC?
  4. 01:35:956 (2) - Ctrl + Gの方がやりやすい気がします
  5. 04:10:241 (2,3) - 重なってるのちょっと見づらかったのでこんな感じとかどうですか? https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/5474545
SBいいね∧(川ヮO)∧
Topic Starter
Meg

Homura- wrote:

01:19:499 (2) - うわ近ーッ!  見た目重視で01:18:813 (2,3) - の中間(x:68 y:217)あたりにしない? いいね

Shirasaka Koume wrote:

[Jewelry Box]
  1. 00:58:070 (4,5) - ちょっと見にくいかも こんな感じでどうですか?https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/5474596 そのあとのボーカルと合わせてあるのでkeepで
  2. 01:10:756 (4,5,6) - Ctrl + Gの方がやりやすい気がします やりやすそうだけど今の流れの方が好きだからkeepで
  3. 01:30:470 (2) - NC? NC入れるとSBの変更がだるいww keepします。。
  4. 01:35:956 (2) - Ctrl + Gの方がやりやすい気がします おお、いいですね~
  5. 04:10:241 (2,3) - 重なってるのちょっと見づらかったのでこんな感じとかどうですか? https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/5474545 ぼくはこれがすき。
SBいいね∧(川ヮO)∧ やったぜ
ほむらとシラサカコウメさんありがとうございます!
BeatofIke
Posting here, so i don't forget...
Please don't graveyard o3o
Topic Starter
Meg

BeatofIke wrote:

Posting here, so i don't forget...
Please don't graveyard o3o
ok~ thanks
BeatofIke
Okay! Good map indeed, but are you using snowflake.png anywhere on this storyboard? I couldn't find the code anywhere on the OSB file or the OSU file under [Events] o.o

Nevermind, I forgot to re-download the map. Good luck then.
Bubble #1~
Topic Starter
Meg
thank you !!!!
alacat
お中元Mod

[Jewelry Box]
  1. 00:40:413 (3) - おそらくNCミス・・・?
  2. 01:23:784 (4) - ここから01:23:441 (2,3) - の横の流れを意識して、スライダーをもう少し右に移動してみるのでどうでしょう?次の01:23:956 (1) - にも繋がると思います。
  3. 01:36:127 (3) - 若干上に移動して欲しい・・・!
  4. 01:48:813 (2) - ここ1/4より1/2のサークルでまとめたほうが叩いてて面白いと思う
  5. 02:12:299 (5) - 前半の00:19:499 - ここらへんにあわせてNew comboあってもいいかも
  6. 04:18:899 (2,3,4) - ちょっと音取りすぎじゃない?(3)は聞こえたけど(2,4)が危うい・・・
  7. 04:24:127 (3) - 始点じゃなくて終点にwhistle?
一応確認のためMetadataのリンクください :D
Topic Starter
Meg

alacat wrote:

お中元Mod

[Jewelry Box]
  1. 00:40:413 (3) - おそらくNCミス・・・? ホゲーッwww OKです
  2. 01:23:784 (4) - ここから01:23:441 (2,3) - の横の流れを意識して、スライダーをもう少し右に移動してみるのでどうでしょう?次の01:23:956 (1) - にも繋がると思います。 なるほど~ OKです
  3. 01:36:127 (3) - 若干上に移動して欲しい・・・! ちょっと動かした(違いがわからない)
  4. 01:48:813 (2) - ここ1/4より1/2のサークルでまとめたほうが叩いてて面白いと思う たしかに。 サークルにしました
  5. 02:12:299 (5) - 前半の00:19:499 - ここらへんにあわせてNew comboあってもいいかも 新たなNCを追加することによって俺のSB修正が生まれるのでキープというのは冗談ですが(あながち冗談じゃないけど) 00:19:499 (1) - はデザイン的な感じでNC入れてるだけであって切れ目で分けるために入れてるわけじゃないのでこっちには必要ないかなーというのがボクの考えです
  6. 04:18:899 (2,3,4) - ちょっと音取りすぎじゃない?(3)は聞こえたけど(2,4)が危うい・・・ はい(迫真)
  7. 04:24:127 (3) - 始点じゃなくて終点にwhistle? おっしゃるとおりです
一応確認のためMetadataのリンクください :D どうぞ! http://youhardcore.web.fc2.com/release/022/
うおおお天才 ありがとうございます!
alacat
#2 :D
Topic Starter
Meg
ありがとうございます :cry: :cry:
Ascendance
Sorry :(

Popping the bubble due to a SB image with dimensions that are too big.

Storyboard
  1. SB\burst.png (1100x1100) is outside of the maximum allowed dimensions (640x1440 or 1920x480 for scrolling images) or (1366x768)
some minor things in the map:

[
Jewelry Box
]

General



  1. 00:21:041 (2,3,4) - This being a triplet makes the next two patterns of 00:21:384 (1,2,3,1) - heavily inconsistent. The player is expecting these patterns to play like 00:21:041 (2,3,4) - , but they don't, and it can lead to some misreading. I would change 00:21:041 (2,3) - to a slider and use the same pattern as you did at 00:21:384 (1,2) - and 00:21:727 (3,1) - .
  2. 00:27:299 (3) - Why not do a triplet instead? For consistency with your other rhythms.
  3. 00:42:813 (1,2,3) - Some more spacing between these would be nice to give a more clear indication that they're 1/2 coming out of the stream.
  4. 01:23:784 - ctrl+g here for better flow out of 01:23:613 (3) - and into 01:23:956 (1) - ?
  5. 02:09:041 (8) - ctrl+g here i think makes a better pattern than the double upwards facing sliders.
  6. 02:10:241 (1,2) - why are these so close compared to 02:11:613 (1,2) - ???
  7. 03:05:270 (3) - same as before with this downwards facing buzzslider :((
  8. 03:12:127 - Maybe you could add a note here? Seems there could be room for something and you could form a triangle pattern with 03:11:956 (1,2) - .
  9. 03:22:413 (1) - Missing repeat? No reason to remove it here
  10. 03:44:699 - Also missing a note here, plus it avoids an awkward stack you have at 03:44:527 (4,5) - .

okay~
Topic Starter
Meg

Ascendance wrote:

Sorry :(

Popping the bubble due to a SB image with dimensions that are too big.

Storyboard
  1. SB\burst.png (1100x1100) is outside of the maximum allowed dimensions (640x1440 or 1920x480 for scrolling images) or (1366x768)
some minor things in the map:

[
Jewelry Box
]

General



  1. 00:21:041 (2,3,4) - This being a triplet makes the next two patterns of 00:21:384 (1,2,3,1) - heavily inconsistent. The player is expecting these patterns to play like 00:21:041 (2,3,4) - , but they don't, and it can lead to some misreading. I would change 00:21:041 (2,3) - to a slider and use the same pattern as you did at 00:21:384 (1,2) - and 00:21:727 (3,1) - . it is not inconsistent. because i don't think no need to use same rhythms on same sounds. and i like this pattern. keep
  2. 00:27:299 (3) - Why not do a triplet instead? For consistency with your other rhythms. keeping same rhythm is bored for me. so i used this.
  3. 00:42:813 (1,2,3) - Some more spacing between these would be nice to give a more clear indication that they're 1/2 coming out of the stream. this pattern has been put in consideration of the gap between the previous sound.
  4. 01:23:784 - ctrl+g here for better flow out of 01:23:613 (3) - and into 01:23:956 (1) - ? no. i wanna keep direction of kick sliders.
  5. 02:09:041 (8) - ctrl+g here i think makes a better pattern than the double upwards facing sliders. umm keep. i don't have enough reason but i don't wanna change. sorry
  6. 02:10:241 (1,2) - why are these so close compared to 02:11:613 (1,2) - ??? these are symmetry patterns. and almost players haven't missed on here. i think no problem.
  7. 03:05:270 (3) - same as before with this downwards facing buzzslider :(( same
  8. 03:12:127 - Maybe you could add a note here? Seems there could be room for something and you could form a triangle pattern with 03:11:956 (1,2) - . no :(
  9. 03:22:413 (1) - Missing repeat? No reason to remove it here i didn't make reverse deliberately. i think this rhythm is more fit with song.
  10. 03:44:699 - Also missing a note here, plus it avoids an awkward stack you have at 03:44:527 (4,5) - . why is this awkward lol i think this patterns are good in playing. keep

okay~
sorry i couldn't change all.
and thank you. i will tell you what mean about SB
Ascendance
Fixed the SB file issue. A bit miffed that all the stuff was rejected but meh

Back to #1
alacat
oops, couldn't check SB issues :o
#2
Reillia
wooo rank soon?
Topic Starter
Meg

[C u r i] wrote:

wooo rank soon?
need a BN
Nathan
あどれ
Elira
gratz
Yunomi
gratz
Topic Starter
Meg
ありがとう!
Wormi
01:50:013 (1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9) - Why break in the stream? I can clearly hear a note at 01:50:441 -

also if this get DQ, pls fix 00:10:070 (1,3) - for not being perfectly parallel ;w;
02:55:156 (1,2) - and that wrong blanket
04:09:727 (2,1) - and this one too
KinomiCandy
gratz
Reillia
gratz! i like this map <3
Haruto
congratulations!
Topic Starter
Meg

Worminators wrote:

01:50:013 (1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9) - Why break in the stream? I can clearly hear a note at 01:50:441 -

also if this get DQ, pls fix 00:10:070 (1,3) - for not being perfectly parallel ;w;
02:55:156 (1,2) - and that wrong blanket
04:09:727 (2,1) - and this one too
all things are not problem imo, looks you want to make DQ lol
if it was overmapped, i would think it.
But thank you for checking :oops:
Elira
gratz Meg(umi) xd
DeletedUser_423548
おめでとうございます :)
Silky
Grats~
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