11:13 Everything's going much better today. l feel guilty for downplaying (a bit) what's going on, though. But at least everything is more comfortable. l like to make others proud and happy - that's my source of joy. Crumbling to my own emotions is not pride-worthy, to say the least, even if opening up is. I am embarrassed, even though she's happy I finally came to trust her - right at the bloody end of our time together.
Everything's chaos.
Complete chaos.
12:55 l keep eating so much sugar. I just need it. I feel ill. Help
19:11 Oh my days, I share so much! ._. But I enjoy it, so, in the end, I barely care. Not really looking forward to Halloween - It's literally just eating sweets while panicking, and that's my average day right now. I was forced into joining in with pumpkin carving today, so I just carved 'Yeet' onto my pumpkin to mess around. Now I think about it, that's pretty sad. I mess around with the carving every year, usually doing really cute pumpkins to contrast with my siblings' spooky ones. Usually, I found it fun, but I couldn't help today but feel pretty empty. Still had to do my usual giggling, joking and stuff, though. It felt right to. Started playing guitar again. I genuinely quite enjoyed it! I genuinely enjoyed something, instead of only doing it in the hopes of impressing others! I never knew I could do that. The more I'm typing, the more I'm thinking. I guess overthinking is just a hobby of mine, huh. At least something about me has stayed the same since I've had my long break from here.