1. MaRaTHoN (5.09 stars, 1586 notes)

1. SAVE by Kaitjuh
2. Reality Check Through The Skull by me (Taiko only for the moment)
3. uNDeRWoRLD MoNaRCHy by- oh wait, you just did this.

WARNING!
THIS BEATMAP'S STORYBOARD CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE GAME UNDERTALE!
SO BEFORE PLAYING IT, PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO...

undo wrote:

also i think the background should have the dog over the title like in the storyboard intro

undo wrote:

this stoyboard is so amazing ;3; love the shaking text in he end

also is it suppouse to be like this? i'm not sure cause can't download the beatmap

Alheak wrote:

Are the hitsounds at the beginning supposed to be dissonant?

They sound really weird, for me at least (yes I re-dl'd)

-Faded- wrote:

1. You could find a more interesting bg, simply having "UNDERTALE" over a black background is incredibly bland. I would look for something a bit more active and interesting. I'm not asking you to go get a picture of Asgore and spoil the game for some people, but something simply more interesting would be nice.
   I do like the frankness of the BG, but I can see why it'd be bland. It's a bit of a complicated issue: not only does the background serve as a non-spoiler option, but it allows for the storyboard to be much more load fficient (I'd say it saves roughly 0.8x load all the time to just have a coverslip over the logo rather than a fullscreen image.
   The background does stop drawing somewhere during the map, but it's incredibly unclear where / how likely that's going to break in future updates.
2. Add an epilepsy warning for the storyboard? While the storyboard is absolutely amazing, the shaking text and the rainbow fireballs could hurt peoples eyes if they are effected by epilepsy.
   I was thinking about this, and I couldn't tell if it was a big deal or not. Usually epilepsy warnings are for strobing maps, stuff that like flashes black and white over and over really fast. Surprise flashing storyboards HAVE given people attacks on this game before. I don't think shaking elements / color changes have that same effect? I'd need to talk to someone affected by it about that.
3. Throughout the map, I've encountered lots of overlapped repeat arrows, such as 01:41:868 (1,1) - , 01:47:292 (1,1) - , 02:03:563 (1,1) - , etc. While a hitburst isn't over them, I believe it is unrankable because the reverse arrows are still being overlapped. Therefore, I highly recommend you change these.
   The players have plenty of time to see the repeat, fade-in of the repeat starts at 01:42:207 - and it becomes too late to see it at 01:42:715 - , which is a good half second. I suspect players will easily see them by the time the 1/4 slider before it finishes.
   It was a point of consideration, which is precisely why they aren't under hitbursts, hahaha
4. 00:40:512 (6,1) - You could improve aesthetics by making this a blanket, as it promotes a cleaner and more organised look.
   That'd look pretty good -> https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/4477030 but in order to preserve the jump from 6 to 1 (important moment) the angle from 5 to 6 would get all weird, and the jump from 5 to 6 would be a tad too big. This change would accompany moving 5, then moving 4, which would bust the blanket of 4 to the 1... etc
   I'll think about this some more but for now I'm going to leave it
5. 01:52:207 (3,2) - Perhaps you could stack these sliderends? This will once again make the map seem neater, and be consistent with how you usually handle sliderends (stacking them).
   that's a tough one
   Okay so let's see, the 3 4 copies 1 2, which leads to 1 diving through the center of the 3, then the 2 goes between the 4 and 1. Only problem, the 3 doesn't end between the 4 and 1.
   There's a couple of ways to cheese this, I could increase the slider velocity of the 3 to have it move those extra few pixels
   https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/4477062 but then that messes up the 1 thing... bleh
   Honestly I don't feel like it's a big problem but it is pretty different to everything else in this segment.
6. 02:17:970 (4) - Here's another blanket that has room for improvement.
   Rotated 3 degrees, moved a bit so the endpoint is back in place
7. 02:40:173 (1) - Not too fond of this slider shape personally, it looks a bit harsh and the music doesn't really change to justify that. It would look much nicer if you make the bump a bit more subtle.
   A bunch of instruments cut out, have to embellish it somehow. I think I did something like that later on into the second to last kiai.
8. 02:49:156 (6,7) - Another noticeable blanket error, moving (6) more towards the left would be nice.
   Moved the slider's endpoint
9. 03:03:732 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) - Is there any reasoning behind the music as to why these streams are so compressed? They look a bit out of place considering that every other stream has reasonable spacing behind them.
   Yeah absolutely, listen to the main percussion isntrument in the music at this point. It quickly raises to a higher pitch, and gets weaker as it goes on. I lower hitsound volume there too very slightly.
10. 03:38:478 (1) - The beats that this repeat slider is covering are very powerful, having a repeat slider where the player simply has to hold doesn't really emphasize them fully. I would replace it with a triple instead, so that all three beats are clickable. Also, you'e placed triples in areas of the music that aren't so emphasized, such as at 03:40:511 (1,2,3) - .
    That slider is to make the transition easier / give them time to react to what's coming up.
11. 03:43:562 (1,3) - Is there any reasoning about how this stack is slightly off like this? Personally, I feel that it would look neater if it were perfectly stacked, because it would be consistent with most other stacks in the beatmap. Same applies for 03:55:766 (1,3) -
    I had a reason for these
    but I forgot
    so
    I'll uh, change them
    
12. 04:11:020 (1,2) - It would look a bit nicer if (1) was sharp as well, that way it would look nicer by having symmetry with (2).
    The change in shape is for the new instrument. I was considering making 04:13:393 (1) - linear for that same reason.
13. 04:13:393 (1,1) - Again, you could improve the blanket of these two notes for a neater look.
    Rotated by -6
14. 05:11:699 (8,9) - Not a fan of how these sliders are at a 90° angle, seems a bit old fashioned imo. Make the sliders a bit more intresting by rotating them a bit or by curving them.
    Rectangles are underused IMO, it becomes interesting to have them mixed in with other stuff, like at 02:41:529 (2,3,4) -
15. 05:55:258 - You could add a 1/4 slider here. If you listen to the music closely, then you can hear 2 sounds that would be appropriate for one. Also, the 1/1 gap feels quite strange being unmapped.
    Undermapped part to transition a bit better, it's why 05:54:580 (3) - might seem out of place
16. 07:04:580 (1) - Add a finish here? I can hear a cymbal in the song, and adding one to the beatmap like you usually do when there's cymbals would be more consistent and it would complement the music better.
    YEAH THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE THERE LOL you can see the Normal / Soft sampleset on the circle, the finish disappeared for some reason.
17. 07:09:326 (5,8) - Finally, I think you need to stack these properly. Having the two notes off like this doesn't look too aesthetically pleasing, so fixing the stack will make the pattern look cleaner.
    I have to make sure the player tries to do a stationary stream wherever the 5 once was to make the movement feel right. I could manually stack to the right like automatic stacking does to the left, but it wouldn't have the advantage automatic stacking has of being immediately familiar to a player.
    I'm going to go with the ugly route in order to make sure the pattern works properly.

Fatfan Kolek wrote:

wouldn't it be hilarious if the annoying dog would be hanging left and right on this scene?
00:34:749 - 00:35:427 -
00:45:597 - 00:46:275 -

http://puu.sh/mXwIV/45b3e177fc.gif

Anyways, really awesome stuff you did there!!

Forlornly wrote:

The hitsounds are ever so slightly out of tune. Just a sliver of a pitch higher than the actual music, I think. I don't have perfect pitch or anything so I can't be sure. It might just be the actual notes. Might even be the organ, and not the hitsounds. Do you know what notes the music/hitsounding chords are?

It does add an unsettling, eerie sort of feeling though, like sour church bells, so either way it's not so bad.

Forlornly wrote:

the chords sound fine to me
can you somehow shift all the notes down like a microtone or something, somewhere closer to d than c#, because to me it sounds like the hitsounds are higher pitched than the music

Charles445 wrote:

Mods welcomed

bbj0920 wrote:

Charles445 wrote:

Mods welcomed

epilepsy warning maybe, 'game over' part is a bit too flashy Letters at that part are picking a fade between 0.15 and 0.55, shouldn't be bright enough to cause problems
00:27:305 - every piano on 2/1 from 00:21:871 - to 00:26:015 - is hitobjects and not here? Yeah this part was a little difficult to plan, an object on the piano would work but the spinner would have to start shortly after. No matter where the spinner started it wouldn't fit with the fade-in to white. So instead I opted to leave out the object and just have the spinner take the entire segment to fit the fade-in sound. 05:10:682 - was almost a spinner because of it, lol
00:50:512 (2,3) - ctrl+g I guess, when you put 3/4 slider + circle in this part you made distance following the emphasis of the song. But the distance here is narrower than 00:42:037 (1,2) - while the melody after 3/4 slider is higher-pitched here. I'm relying 100% on the angle change to work, 1 to 2 is pretty weak regardless though, but I think 2,3 4,5 and 6,7 being strong will make up for it. Good catch by the way, that's what's going on here. The most direct parallel is 00:39:326 (1,2) - where the 2 is a significant distance away from the 1. I kinda ran out of room later LMAO
02:07:292 (8,9) - definitely has a hi-hat on blue ticks. how about like this? imo gives good expression of the music too Yeah that hihat is at all four points in the map, 01:45:597 - and then the ones in the later kiai. It's skipped to make sure those strong drum beats aren't swamped by a weaker slider. (8) in these situations could absolutely be a 1/4 slider though, since it's still dominantly focusing on the hi-hat, but I felt the movement was too weird doing that, lol. The weird movement being uh, a 1/2 pause into a 1/4 slider stream jump. I think the only times those happen are during these gimmicky parts 01:47:292 (1,2,1,2,1) - (oh and 02:43:732 (7,8,1) - I forgot about that one)
03:26:275 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - I love you. NOW That's what I call E D G Y <3