Edit for privacy

Reminds me of lyrics of M2U songs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmsre0zIQNE), only that the grammar actually makes sense XD

Why do you have to present it, and not the junior however? I'd let him do that, because he could probably express it better.

Irreversible wrote:

Reminds me of lyrics of M2U songs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmsre0zIQNE), only that the grammar actually makes sense XD

Why do you have to present it, and not the junior however? I'd let him do that, because he could probably express it better.

It's a group project. He didn't let us contribute in any way besides presentation. Basically, we have to present.

Plane wrote:

It's a group project. He didn't let us contribute in any way besides presentation. Basically, we have to present.

First of all it's your fault for letting him have his way and do whatever he wants. Also it's pretty well written, do you think you could have done it any better?

If I was in your situation (actually I have been there, where I had to recite a very awkward poem, except I wrote it myself) I would take it like a man, and recite it with all my heart like I really mean it. Have some confidence and go all the way, it will actually be less awkward.

PS : don't forget to look at the girl you like in the eyes while declaiming your poem, she will love it

the poem is cryptic and could mean pretty much anything. I think one verse of his poem captures well what everyone in the audience would assume about the poems meaning while you are reading it to them:
"What is found, is lost, is replaced, is gone"

Tell him that the poem doesn't fit the criteria of the project outline, because there is no discernible plot or character in the story.
Furthermore, you could tell him that the project is supposed to be groupwork, so it's not acceptable that one person just writes something on his own. Division of labor is all fine, but it shouldn't mean that most of the group gets completely left out regarding the core of your project - the plot of the poem and the character. *hint: project outline*

I can feel the edge through the screen.







But honestly depending on the people / audience this poem isn't that bad tbh.

A Medic wrote:

But honestly depending on the people / audience this poem isn't that bad tbh.

meteor22 wrote:

Plane wrote:

It's a group project. He didn't let us contribute in any way besides presentation. Basically, we have to present.

First of all it's your fault for letting him have his way and do whatever he wants. Also it's pretty well written, do you think you could have done it any better?

It's heavy on symbols and buzzwords. What he is doing, is sending the listener in a convoluted metaphorical labyrinth with a thousand entries and three times as many exits. You'll start somewhere and arrive somewhere, but there is no real information passed from him as an author to you as the receiver. If you asked 3 people what the poem means to say, you'd get 5 answers, each of those being entirely different from what he means.

This is not an indication of "good" poetry. It's a simple effect that can be achieved by being very ambiguous in what you say and throwing in sufficiently many emotionally loaded phrases, to activate the listeners feels, so that they can go on and filter out their own version.
It's not deep, it's pseudo-deep. When people hear certain phrases, they start to complete the cliches through pattern-matching them with whatever seemingly wise or deep phrases are provided by their own cultural background. Bonus points if those phrases are commonly used in well known works of higher literature.
Two bonus points when anyone starts out with a reference to any sort of light-darkness dichotomy.

-snip*

To be fair, I found that many many people celebrate exactly that in poetry: The poet gives them a mountain of metaphors and symbols while being as ambiguous as possible, and then they can figure the rest for themselves using their own backgrounds and emotions.
The issue I have with this, is that no redeeming qualities are needed to replicate this sort of poetry, you really just need to know the right phrases that get people on that track. How you connect them with one another is almost irrelevant (as long as it doesn't become too obvious what you're doing).
What that leaves us with, is a genre of literature, that, although seemingly coming in different forms, always exploits the same effect - over and over again.

I know that poetry-enthusiasts from far and wide would jump me for that, but I can't help it. All I see is a bunch of buzzwords and phrases, getting (almost) randomly connected to one another. Sometimes that comes with an underlying theme, like.. as I assume, "forgiveness" in the poem from this thread. Sometimes not even that is needed.

As an example for ambiguity: At the end, your classmate pretty much says "OR IS IT" (and then the x-files music plays), for extra depth and to make way for 10k more interpretations. Like.. I just can't.

I know that other people really enjoy reading things like that, and I don't think that thats a bad thing. Maybe they find these phrases aesthetically or audibly pleasing, or they just enjoy letting their brains run down a bunch of possible interpretations. Whatever floats their boat, its cool that they found something for themselves to enjoy. I don't enjoy it.

So take it with a grain of salt when I say that this is "bad" poetry, and also be careful of using that term like this yourself.
Maybe I'm just a little frustrated when writers with more potential than me, people that really have the capability of making things sound good, use their skills to make something like that, when theres so many more interesting things out there to be said.

Plane wrote:

Also, let me say this as I didn't exactly point it out: This entire class jokes around. This is not a class to take entirely seriously, regardless of the context. The advanced versions of it, sure. But not in the intro class.

this settles it. Seems like the entirely wrong context, and he may get a lot of flak for that poem. Doesn't seem like its worth taking the chance. Just let it go

Edit for privacy 2

I think I can 1 up you

ahsoka08 wrote:

I think I can 1 up you

cringe poem

Don't look down

and Don't scream

But this is reality


I just ate your spleen

Watch out world looks like we have the next Shakespeare coming.

ahsoka08 wrote:

I think I can 1 up you

cringe poem

Don't look down

and Don't scream

But this is reality


I just ate your spleen

I would present that with pride.