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Shintani Ryouko - Shujinkou

posted
Total Posts
9
Hammish
18 posts
Joined June 2012
Topic Starter
Hammish
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on Tuesday, September 01, 2015 at 8:43:20 PM

Artist: Shintani Ryouko
Title: Shujinkou
Source: Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
Tags: Goodbye Mr Despair Hito Nami Character Song
BPM: 160
Filesize: 4901kb
Play Time: 02:14
Difficulties Available:
  1. Easy (1.52 stars, 143 notes)
  2. Normal (1.13 stars, 17 notes)
Download: Shintani Ryouko - Shujinkou
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
This is Nami Hito's song from the Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei (Goodbye Mr. Despair) Character Album. The song is basically about how Nami wants to be the protagonist of her own story.
-- Inital Release --
*First Draft for Easy, Normal, Hard.

-- 2nd Release --
6/25/2015
*Tuned Hard and Normal per modder suggestions
*Some notes in Easy were moved, sliders added
*Slightly changed offset, rhythm should be more in sync now

--3rd --
Remap

-4th--
7/1/2015
Easy 2nd Draft
-5th-
8/16/2015
Increased Approach Rate
Reworked based on mod comments
Last edited by Hammish , edited 22 times in total.
Incise
Incise
Hard diff:These are opinions, but i hope this mod helps.
00:42:000 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - after this section add a little more flow.

01:35:625 (2) - after this long slider there is a pause, consider having more flow?

01:45:000 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - same here aswell, I can tell your mapping to the lyrics, but aswell there could be flow there.


Normal diff:
00:06:000 (1,2,3,1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3) - considers having sliders here, long time before you see a slider.

00:39:269 - the break point here really isn't needed in my opinion.

00:42:000 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - flow pls x3

01:17:639 - another non-need break point in my opinion.

01:31:312 (1) - more flow?

01:33:000 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,1,2,3,4,5,6) - and mabey don't stack the notes like that, for reading purposes :)

01:47:062 (6) - after slider some flow here?

01:49:500 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,5) - flow after these section of notes?

01:54:000 (1,2,3) - here aswell?

01:57:000 (1,2,3) - and here lel.

02:03:000 (1,2,3) - here...

Im to lazy to mod easy, But overall not a terrible, but to make the map cut in general your mapset needs alot more flow to it, once you do that you will be golden :D. GL
Lumael
1,520 posts
Joined December 2014
Lumael


This is a M4M Request! Visit my queue here! My active beatmap to mod: The Living Tombstone- Heavy's Pizza Song


  • General

  1. Timing is wrong. Try 160 BPM and Offset 50
  2. AiMod:
    Translating: Tag conflicts between diffs
  3. Sorry but your beatmap has 2007 style :p kinds of patterns that are odd nowadays :L

  • Easy

  1. SV Is too high, I recommend changing it to 0,6x ( Timing > Slider Velocity > http://puu.sh/iE0fr/ef31461a75.jpg )
    00:06:050 (1,2) - Overlap :p Don't overlap sliders or circles at all, just when it looks sexy ;p and that's a kind of pattern that's very odd nowadays
  2. You need constant DS at Easy and Normal
  3. Avoid overlaps, there's a lot on your beatmap :/
  4. There's a lot of the song unmapped :/
    00:31:500 (1,1,2) - Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee What is that D: 1000% unrankable
    00:56:250 (4,1) - Fix blanket and fix this slider :p
    01:36:000 (4) -00:06:050 (1) - 00:31:500 (1,1) - 01:39:000 (5,6,7,8) - 01:46:500 (3) - (all the sliders - )Don't do sliders like this please
    02:00:000 (1) - Don't use multiple reverse arrows at easy or normal

  • Normal

  1. Same said to easy, overlaps, DS, sliders, blankets. DS is even more random here, sorry :/
    00:42:000 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4) - Avoid making a mess like this

  • Hard

  1. ^^^^ :p sorry but you need to improve everything here tooo, sliders, blankets, DS (FFS) , patterns are just random, and they don't fit the rhythm properly most o the times D:

Well, I'm really sorry for this mod but I suggest you taking a look at some ranked maps from this year to improve your techniques and after learning some stuff from those maps I recommend you remapping this song, because this song has a very basic 1/1 rhythm . Don't give kds if you don't want
Hammish
18 posts
Joined June 2012
Topic Starter
Hammish
well, you earned a kudos for helping me with the timing and the brutal honesty, although im not sure what you meant by "2007 patterns." I guess now I have to go back and start looking at improving the readability and flow of my maps.
Kyle Y
1,204 posts
Joined November 2013
Kyle Y
#modding queue

for your map, is it your first map?
If yes, then I think you should find few more modding and give up it
As usually the first map is not quality enough
I usually conduct a IRC for new mapper, but becasue of the time zone.... I think I can't do that
I am not going to mod very detail, but just tell you the problem generally.

[EZ]
00:07:560 (3,4,5,1,2) - too much circle, (max one is better)usually EZ mapped with over 90% of slider, and map with 1/1 but not 1/2
00:08:685 (1,2) - use constant ds. This rule apply to Normal also. No reason, but rules
00:33:810 (4,1,1,1) - poor slider pattern
00:36:060 (1,1,1,1) - incorrect combo chain, use 8 beat per one new combo
btw, Easy should not have any SV change. (you are correct this time)
00:57:435 (1,1) - blanket the slider
01:16:935 (1,4) - avoid overlapping

[NM]
00:09:622 (2) - also you need to use same ds as Easy
00:09:435 - fail to follow the melody, mainly white tick consist of beat. You should map it also
00:15:810 (2,2) - also you need blanket it
00:15:810 (2,1) - combo color, like EZ, use 8 beat one nc
00:42:060 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4) - also too many circle, I think Max 2 is better
00:57:060 (4) - poor slider

[HD]
not necessary to use that high CS, use 3.5 for <3 stars hard and max 4.0 for >3 for 3.0~3.5 hard
00:09:435 - also, beat... you need to map it
00:12:997 (3,1) - combo chain also, use 4 beat one nc
00:17:497 (4) - lack of slider pattern
00:21:060 (1) - don't do this in Hard, even Normal...
00:24:435 (1,2,3,4) - too much circle, max 3
00:26:122 (3,4) - no easy to read
00:29:310 (1,1) - fail to follow the melody.. usually use 1 beat or 1/2 beat... but won't use that long slider

what can you see....
just focus on a part of the play area. Not good
You map is really hard to read.

Please read the following
How to make slider looks neat
Good mapping technique that make some part of the music readable and fun
Flow in osu
Music theory
Osu Ranking Criteria
Lumael
1,520 posts
Joined December 2014
Lumael

Hammish wrote:

well, you earned a kudos for helping me with the timing and the brutal honesty, although im not sure what you meant by "2007 patterns." I guess now I have to go back and start looking at improving the readability and flow of my maps.
Check any of those beatmaps: https://osu.ppy.sh/p/beatmaplist?q=2007
Hammish
18 posts
Joined June 2012
Topic Starter
Hammish
Thank you for all your advice! Decided to just focus on Easy difficulty until I get more of the hang of mapping :) Hopefully I can find a GD for the harder difficulties
McLaren12
66 posts
Joined February 2015
McLaren12
Hello! Here's my mod.

SPOILER
00:09:810 (6) This could be nudged over to the left just to match flow
00:21:810 (1) Remove NC
00:22:560 (1) Remove NC
00:24:060 Add NC
00:29:310 Add NC
00:36:560 (1) Remove NC
00:40:560 (1) Remove NC
00:42:060 Add NC
00:42:810 (1) Remove NC
00:49:935 (4) Could be a little farther out to match flow
00:52:935 (4) ^^
00:57:810 (1) Remove NC
01:04:935 (3) Farther off to the right would look a lot more interesting, feeling a little bit like the previous 01:01:935 (3)
01:19:560 (1) Remove NC
01:22:560 (1) Remove NC
01:28:560 (1) Remove NC
01:31:560 (1) Remove NC
01:33:060 Add NC
01:33:810 Remove NC
01:36:060 Spinner here leading up to 01:38:685 perhaps?
01:42:060 (3) Add NC
01:52:935 (1) Remove NC
At the very end the spinner feels a little early and the note at 02:14:310 doesn't really feel like it matches up with anything

Hope this helps! :D
Billy
24 posts
Joined April 2014
Billy
Hello. From my queue.
General

To begin with, you may want to add some related tags to your map to make it easier to find. Additionally, you will want to list Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei as the source for the song in your beatmap submission.

This will be a somewhat general mod as a lot of the things I will give examples of are present throughout the map.

Many of the things I will list are things you will come to get better at as you map more, so don't fret over them now, just practice and it will fix itself.

Easy


  1. 00:06:060 (1,2,3) - This is just one example of what was previously called "2007 mapping." Essentially by that it's just meant that you could make the map more aesthetically pleasing by using more complex angles or shapes. Rather than just doing 90 degree angles and using straight sliders, experiment with different kinds of angles and curves.
  2. 00:07:935 (4,5) - For moments like this where you will be having 2 or more sliders after one another, it is usually good to make them relate to one another in some way. For example, in this case, you could copy and paste the first slider, and then use the shortcut CTRL+H in order to flip it horizontally. This way, you have two symmetrical sliders that look nice when placed after eachother. It doesn't have to be limited to symmetry like this, and you will find over time that sometimes two completely different sliders can flow together nicely.
  3. 00:09:810 (6) - The spacing here is different from what you were using previously, which can make playing somewhat awkward. Especially on an easy difficulty, having spacing that changes from note to note can either play weird, or just look ugly. I would recommend picking one distance spacing value and sticking to it for the entire map for an easy difficulty, as it just makes everything look and play better.
  4. 00:12:060 (1) - This is just another example of where copy pasting the previous slider and using CTRL+H to flip it around may make the series look nicer.
  5. 00:13:185 (2) - Here, the note that you have placed somewhat overlaps where recent previous notes were. It is usually good to avoid doing this, as it can make things hard to read at times. In this case it doesn't matter a ton because of the slow nature of this song, but it still looks a bit weird overall.
  6. 00:15:060 (1) - Here is an example of a straight slider that could be made more interesting by using some type of curve. Especially in cases where the slider is just going horizontally, adding a curve can add some dynamic to an otherwise basic and potentially boring spot. This is especially relevant when you start to map harder things, as using long straight sliders is typically pretty hard to play and ugly to look at overall. (no offense).
  7. 00:36:060 (1) - I would say to try to avoid sliders like this one, as it is essentially the same as having two circles in a 90 degree angle. It's just kind of boring and basic.
  8. 00:55:935 (1) - This is one of a few moments where it is not entirely clear why a slider or note is placed where it is. Of course, for an easy difficulty you would typically skip non-important notes, but there doesn't seem to be much that happens at this specific spot that would entail placing a slider. Try to focus on major beats or moments of emphasis in either the instrumental or vocals.
  9. 01:29:310 (3) - This is another spot where the inconsistency in the spacing looks kind of weird. It goes from 1.3 to 1.14 without much of a reason, and as a result looks odd. Typically if you are going to switch spacing in between notes, it would usually be for some type of noticeable difference between the notes. For example, if a note suddenly is very loud as compared to the note before it, higher spacing may be needed. Of course, as I said before, this isn't really necessary for an easy difficulty. Instead, I would try to stick to a certain spacing and keep to it.
  10. 02:10:185 (1) - This spinner is placed in a weird spot, as you would typically want to put them at the beginning of a long note. The first spinner in this map, just before the break, does this correctly. However, this one starts pretty early and as a result comes off as weird.
My overall advice would just be to continue mapping and learn as you go. I personally have had probably at least 20-30 mapping projects that I've started and never even finished, purely for practice. Over time you will get the hang of using some of the techniques I mentioned, and keep in mind you can always keep learning. Good luck in the future, and just keep at it.
BanchoBot
w00t p00t
34,830 posts
Here since the beginning
BanchoBot
This modding thread has been migrated to the new "modding discussions" system. Please make sure to re-post any existing (and unresolved) efforts to the new system as required.
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