Deuteronomy 25:11-12
If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.

The Fool wrote:

Let us eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

Deuteronomy 21 wrote:

If a man is found slain, lying in a field in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess, and it is not known who killed him, your elders and judges shall go out and measure the distance from the body to the neighboring towns. Then the elders of the town nearest the body shall take a heifer that has never been worked and has never worn a yoke and lead her down to a valley that has not been plowed or planted and where there is a flowing stream. There in the valley they are to break the heifer's neck.

The priests, the sons of Levi, shall step forward, for the LORD your God has chosen them to minister and to pronounce blessings in the name of the LORD and to decide all cases of dispute and assault. Then all the elders of the town nearest the body shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley, and they shall declare: "Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it done. Accept this atonement for your people Israel, whom you have redeemed, O LORD, and do not hold your people guilty of the blood of an innocent man."

And the bloodshed will be atoned for. So you will purge from yourselves the guilt of shedding innocent blood, since you have done what is right in the eyes of the LORD.

LORD

Loginer wrote:

Deuteronomy 21 wrote:

If a man is found slain, lying in a field in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess, and it is not known who killed him, your elders and judges shall go out and measure the distance from the body to the neighboring towns. Then the elders of the town nearest the body shall take a heifer that has never been worked and has never worn a yoke and lead her down to a valley that has not been plowed or planted and where there is a flowing stream. There in the valley they are to break the heifer's neck.

The priests, the sons of Levi, shall step forward, for the LORD your God has chosen them to minister and to pronounce blessings in the name of the LORD and to decide all cases of dispute and assault. Then all the elders of the town nearest the body shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley, and they shall declare: "Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it done. Accept this atonement for your people Israel, whom you have redeemed, O LORD, and do not hold your people guilty of the blood of an innocent man."

And the bloodshed will be atoned for. So you will purge from yourselves the guilt of shedding innocent blood, since you have done what is right in the eyes of the LORD.

This makes no fucking sense at all.

14 “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

qlum wrote:

I'm so cool I hate on specific people based on their beliefs without even understanding them because someone else told me it was stupid. I don't need to understand where they're coming from since every asshole I respect seems to agree. lol those christians are so dumb beliving that god shit just because they're told about it

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Natteke desu wrote:

What's bible

If yuse is fietin sumwun an wun uf da wiefs cums ta saev hers husbund an grabz hims by da bitz b-loe da pee-pee, cutz hers pawz ofs. Dun b sad. Iz bad. An sexxyest.

She liekd teh guys with teh big dixxxes... teh RLY big uns, like donkeys LOL... and massiv cumbuckits like horse!

When you go to war against your enemies and the LORD your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.

Proverbs 20:2 - The wrath of a king is like the roaring of a Lion; Whoever provokes him to anger sins against his own life.

Proverbs 19:12 - The king's wrath is like the roaring of a Lion, But his favor is like dew on the grass

Psalm 31:17-18 - DO not let me be ashamed, O Lord, for I have called upon you; Let the wicked be ashamed. Let them be silent in the grave. Let the lying lips be put to silence, Which speak insolent things proudly and contemptously against the righteous.

Psalm 4:4-5 - Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And put your trust in the Lord.

Proverbs 19:22 - What is desired in a man is kindness. And a poor man is better than a liar.

Natteke desu wrote:

What's bible

Mogsworth wrote:

Natteke desu wrote:

What's bible

Bible Black

Ekaru wrote:

When you go to war against your enemies and the LORD your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her you may take her as your wife. Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.

God's a biased pervert. He also likes killing people as shown in Exodus.

Also, IAmShinta, that quote is simply telling the Israelites to shut the fuck up and trust the Lord's orders. If they do that they will achieve victory. Pretty simple.

And Loginer's quote makes plenty of sense to me. They are sacrificing an innocent heifer that is a virgin to work in a "virgin" valley with a stream so they can wash their hands. It's a virgin valley because that gives an image of innocence, and they are trying to show that they are innocent. That's also why the heifer is 'innocent'. They have the nearest village supply these things and wash their hands/break the neck to appease God and show that they are innocent. The Israelites are part of this because God is giving them the land and God wants them to take responsibility for it and also to show that they did not commit murder on their land.

Basically, the Holy Bible is absolutely retarded. The only reason I can understand most of this retarded piece of shit was because I was forced to study it for five fucking years. By God I am never doing that ever again and I do not recommend it to anybody else because you will absolutely regret it. This book is stupid and that is all that matters.

It is an interesting book though. However, the chapter of Genesis had no living witnesses when it was written. Yeah.

five years of study and not once throughout did you ever consider thinking about context

welp

i'm going to read that entire post "out of context" and come to the conclusion that you were talking about pokebis doing nasty things with animals and stick you on a mod queue for an epoch

BECAUSE I'M LIKE EKARU AND I'M INTELLIGENT

OH-SHI- wrote:

Proverbs 19:22 - What is desired in a man is kindness. And a poor man is better than a liar.

WeegeevsWeegee wrote:

lord. Have I offended anyone for saying "lord" in lowercase yet?

Ekaru wrote:

the Holy Bible is absolutely retarded.

dkun wrote:

Interesting. Then what do you call the people that believe in it?
But reading the post above, I'll stop at that.

Ekaru wrote:

five years of study and not once throughout did you ever consider thinking about context

welp

i'm going to read that entire post "out of context" and come to the conclusion that you were talking about pokebis doing nasty things with animals and stick you on a mod queue for an epoch

BECAUSE I'M LIKE EKARU AND I'M INTELLIGENT

I did think about context. Then again I forgot to mention the fact that the Israelites were in the desert at the time (because they didn't trust God and were banished to the desert for 40 years) and conquering lands under the leadership of Moses who was more or less directed by God and that Deuteronomy was a book of laws that God wanted the Israelites to obey.

The bible actually makes lots of sense when you know/think about the context. That's how I could understand the passage and why they did that. I just suck at explaining it since I'm an idiot/I didn't bother to check it to make sure that my explanation actually made sense. Then I went into a bunch of meaningless rambling because I was reminded of how strict that school was. Now that I think about it I didn't hate the book, I hated the school.

Oh goddammit, I just proved that I deserve to be mocked for that stupid post.

Ephemeral wrote:

but everybody is either filled with blind hatred or blind devotion for that little text and the lack of a solid middle ground drives me insane