Kurosaki Maon - Rakuen no Tsubasa

posted
Total Posts
45
Topic Starter
Tari
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on Thursday, November 13, 2014 at 3:12:23 PM

Artist: Kurosaki Maon
Title: Rakuen no Tsubasa
Source: グリザイアの果実 -LE FRUIT DE LA GRISAIA-
Tags: opening fruit of loom forbidden Momochikun adaption
BPM: 155
Filesize: 20363kb
Play Time: 01:28
Difficulties Available:
  1. Easy (1.47 stars, 86 notes)
  2. Insane (3.89 stars, 284 notes)
  3. Mochi's Hard (3.12 stars, 238 notes)
  4. Normal (2.04 stars, 152 notes)


Download: Kurosaki Maon - Rakuen no Tsubasa
Download: Kurosaki Maon - Rakuen no Tsubasa (no video)
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
osu! needs more Grisaia!!
video by lust thanks.
Asagi
yes yes!!!
Momochikun
Michiru is the best ww
Umi

Momochikun wrote:

Michiru Amane is the best ww
Gl tari :3/
Shad0w1and
i can provide HD PV for this map
http://pan.baidu.com/s/1pJ0oUYB
Asagi

Umi wrote:

Momochikun wrote:

Michiru Amane Sachi is the best ww
Topic Starter
Tari

Shad0w1and wrote:

i can provide HD PV for this map
http://pan.baidu.com/s/1pJ0oUYB
Thank you but I have a good video already :p
Shad0w1and

Tari wrote:

Shad0w1and wrote:

i can provide HD PV for this map
http://pan.baidu.com/s/1pJ0oUYB
Thank you but I have a good video already :p
just check it out, i just got depressed about some low quality video in osu! i used many filters to ensure the BS source i got from our fansub team been encoded properly.
Gaia

Momochikun wrote:

Michiru is the best ww
star for Michiruuuu !
Karen
M4M
[General]
none

[Easy]

  • 00:35:045 (3) - ends 00:35:045 (3) - better
    01:06:981 (1,2) - improve the blanket
    01:12:981 (1,2) - blanket
    01:24:206 (3,4) - make them parallel better?
    01:24:206 (4,1) - hmm,i think blanket is better


[Normal]

  • 00:40:852 (1,2) - improve the blanket
    00:53:626 (3) - add finish? like u did at 00:52:852 (2) -
    01:14:916 (3,4) - improve the blanket


[Hard]

  • 01:09:690 (3,4,5) - the spacing is different
    00:08:142 (1) - ctrl+G then try this flow?
    00:34:852 (2,3) - try this?maybe it has more fun,and care the blanket with 00:34:271 (5)
    00:38:529 (5) - finish
    00:47:626 (3,4) - try this
    00:52:852 (3,1,2) - improve the blanket


[Insane]

  • 00:21:884 (1) - the slider's tail perfect stack with 00:22:658 (3) - it's head
    00:54:787 (1,2) - stack them well
    01:19:561 (1) - finish?
    01:20:336 (2) - finish?
    00:23:045 (4,5,6,7,1) - try thss flow?if u do this,make00:23:626 (7) perfect stack with00:22:658 (3)

    01:03:884 (1) -
    http://puu.sh/corkv/f8ddca3211.jpg[/img:1337]
    try this because the spacing of01:03:690 (4,1) and01:05:239 (5,1) should be the same
    [/box]


    That's all!
    Good luck
    hope it'll be useful for you :)
RandF
hey~

[General]
  1. tags suggetion:
    frontwing
  2. mp3: end too soon. I suggest to add fadeout at outro

[Easy]
  1. 00:00:594 (1,2) - why not make DS 1.0x?
  2. 00:35:819 (4,1) - too near, not good looking. I suggest to curve 00:36:206 (1) -
  3. 00:54:787 (2) - I prefer to curve righetside of slider
  4. 01:06:206- whistle
  5. 01:06:981 (1,2) - how about blanketting?
  6. 01:11:432 (3,4) - check DS
  7. 01:27:206 (1) - I feel too short for easy

[Normal]
  1. 00:34:658 (4,5,6) - suggetion
  2. 00:40:852 (1,2) - blanket correctly
  3. 00:44:916 (3,1) - you can make better flow. I suggest to move 00:45:497 (1) - rightward or rotate clockwise
  4. 00:57:690 (1,2) - this overlapping is not good looking
  5. 01:23:819- follow this strong sound. otherwise, I feel strange...
  6. 01:25:174 (5) - i prefer 1/2 slider not reverse

[Insane]
  1. 00:06:013 (1) - why not end at 00:06:303?
  2. 00:06:594 (3,1) - I prefer to combine into 1 slider
  3. 00:10:271 (2,4) - blanket?
  4. 01:11:239 (5) - rotate anti-clocwise for good flow
  5. 01:18:013 (1) - Ctrl+G
  6. 01:26:336 (4,1,2) - these spacing is so confusing. increase DS of 01:26:723 (1,2) -

[Mochi's Hard]
wow, see you again~
  1. 00:03:690 (3) - move downward for good flow
  2. 00:06:013 (1,2) - u~m, combine into 1 slider?
  3. 00:12:787 (1) - curve leftward a little
  4. 00:52:852 (3,1) - check blanketting
  5. 00:59:239 (1,2) - ^
  6. 01:10:077 (6,1) - swap DS
  7. 01:24:594 (2,4) - move 01:25:368 (4) - downward. hard to play because slider start is almost covered.
  8. 01:27:110- I highly recommend to add a note!


if you OK, M4M please ;)
~Good Luck~
Yumeno Himiko
M4M

[General]
00:00:594 - I guess a red up line is needed here to change the offset, as you see many of the following beats start at the red lines (I don't know if I express it right 0.0 it's the 2nd of the 4/4 beats), even the kiai time starts there. Also this will make the first red line lead the sting music and the second red line lead the drum, which makes sense.
I guess the audio is not cutted well since it ends suddenly (? just my idea.

[Easy]
01:12:594 (4) - guess it has been mentioned by modders above.

00:51:690 (1) - I didn't expected a spin here, I think a long slider will work well w

[Normal]
00:40:852 (1,2) - blanket
00:42:400 (3,4,5) - I guess curves will make these three sliders look nice
01:02:529 (3) - Remove this and add notes on 01:02:336 & 01:02:723 to follow the rhythm patterns, or it will make players feel a bit strange.
01:14:916 (3) - ^

[Mochi's Hard]
00:15:110 (3,4) - I think just a slider is enough~
01:11:626 (1,2) - These 2 sliders should be placed apart or players will be think that 2 is follow 1/4 beats after 1 since it's just after 01:10:658 (1,2)
01:27:110 - A note is needed?

[Insane]
00:07:368 (1,2,3,4,1) - A regular star maybe?
00:28:465 (1,2,3,4,5,1) - A regular hexagon?
00:30:206 (2) - blanket
00:31:561 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - I don't think a stream is rightly placed here, since I can't find sounds at 00:31:658 00:31:852 00:32:045. You can place jumps here.
01:09:497 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - same ^ but you can keep this stream since 00:57:110 (1,2,3,4,5,6) is placed

00:57:110 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - This one is rightly placed cuz it follows the piano


Good Luck~wwww
Momochikun
Topic Starter
Tari

Kagamine Ren wrote:

M4M
[General]
none

[Easy]

  • 00:35:045 (3) - ends 00:35:045 (3) - better ? ending fine., you linked same ending.
    01:06:981 (1,2) - improve the blanket
    01:12:981 (1,2) - blanket
    01:24:206 (3,4) - make them parallel better?
    01:24:206 (4,1) - hmm,i think blanket is better
    some blankets fixed, others because of certain design I want


[Normal]

  • 00:40:852 (1,2) - improve the blanket
    00:53:626 (3) - add finish? like u did at 00:52:852 (2) - loud to me.
    01:14:916 (3,4) - improve the blanket not mean't to blanket e.e


[Hard]

  • 01:09:690 (3,4,5) - the spacing is different
    00:08:142 (1) - ctrl+G then try this flow?
    00:34:852 (2,3) - try this?maybe it has more fun,and care the blanket with 00:34:271 (5)
    00:38:529 (5) - finish
    00:47:626 (3,4) - try this
    00:52:852 (3,1,2) - improve the blanket


[Insane]

  • 00:21:884 (1) - the slider's tail perfect stack with 00:22:658 (3) - it's head intentional to make it more visible.
    00:54:787 (1,2) - stack them well
    01:19:561 (1) - finish? there is finish.
    01:20:336 (2) - finish?
    00:23:045 (4,5,6,7,1) - try thss flow?if u do this,make00:23:626 (7) perfect stack with00:22:658 (3)

    01:03:884 (1) -
    http://puu.sh/corkv/f8ddca3211.jpg[/img:1337]
    try this because the spacing of01:03:690 (4,1) and01:05:239 (5,1) should be the same can't see image
    [/box]


    That's all!
    Good luck
    hope it'll be useful for you :)

    RandomEffect wrote:

    hey~

    [General]
    1. tags suggetion:
      frontwing
    2. mp3: end too soon. I suggest to add fadeout at outro

    [Easy]
    1. 00:00:594 (1,2) - why not make DS 1.0x? impossible without break symmetry, maybe CTRL+G , but that flow is strange to me.
    2. 00:35:819 (4,1) - too near, not good looking. I suggest to curve 00:36:206 (1) -
    3. 00:54:787 (2) - I prefer to curve righetside of slider i like mines
    4. 01:06:206- whistle
    5. 01:06:981 (1,2) - how about blanketting?
    6. 01:11:432 (3,4) - check DS
    7. 01:27:206 (1) - I feel too short for easy imo its fine.

    [Normal]
    1. 00:34:658 (4,5,6) - suggetion the vocals are not shown properly.
    2. 00:40:852 (1,2) - blanket correctly
    3. 00:44:916 (3,1) - you can make better flow. I suggest to move 00:45:497 (1) - rightward or rotate clockwise
    4. 00:57:690 (1,2) - this overlapping is not good looking
    5. 01:23:819- follow this strong sound. otherwise, I feel strange...
    6. 01:25:174 (5) - i prefer 1/2 slider not reverse the violin has many beats..

    [Insane]
    1. 00:06:013 (1) - why not end at 00:06:303? music stops quickly.
    2. 00:06:594 (3,1) - I prefer to combine into 1 slider won't fit well with vocals here.
    3. 00:10:271 (2,4) - blanket?
    4. 01:11:239 (5) - rotate anti-clocwise for good flow hmm current is fine imo..
    5. 01:18:013 (1) - Ctrl+G unsure atm
    6. 01:26:336 (4,1,2) - these spacing is so confusing. increase DS of 01:26:723 (1,2) -

    [Mochi's Hard]
    wow, see you again~
    1. 00:03:690 (3) - move downward for good flow
    2. 00:06:013 (1,2) - u~m, combine into 1 slider?
    3. 00:12:787 (1) - curve leftward a little
    4. 00:52:852 (3,1) - check blanketting
    5. 00:59:239 (1,2) - ^
    6. 01:10:077 (6,1) - swap DS
    7. 01:24:594 (2,4) - move 01:25:368 (4) - downward. hard to play because slider start is almost covered.
    8. 01:27:110- I highly recommend to add a note!


    if you OK, M4M please ;)
    ~Good Luck~

    examination wrote:

    M4M

    [General]
    00:00:594 - I guess a red up line is needed here to change the offset, as you see many of the following beats start at the red lines (I don't know if I express it right 0.0 it's the 2nd of the 4/4 beats), even the kiai time starts there. Also this will make the first red line lead the sting music and the second red line lead the drum, which makes sense.
    I guess the audio is not cutted well since it ends suddenly (? just my idea.

    [Easy]
    01:12:594 (4) - guess it has been mentioned by modders above.

    00:51:690 (1) - I didn't expected a spin here, I think a long slider will work well w spin works well here, maybe get more opinions.

    [Normal]
    00:40:852 (1,2) - blanket
    00:42:400 (3,4,5) - I guess curves will make these three sliders look nice
    I like straight slider here
    01:02:529 (3) - Remove this and add notes on 01:02:336 & 01:02:723 to follow the rhythm patterns, or it will make players feel a bit strange.
    01:14:916 (3) - ^ Nope, I'd prefer mine.

    [Mochi's Hard]
    00:15:110 (3,4) - I think just a slider is enough~
    01:11:626 (1,2) - These 2 sliders should be placed apart or players will be think that 2 is follow 1/4 beats after 1 since it's just after 01:10:658 (1,2)
    01:27:110 - A note is needed?

    [Insane]
    00:07:368 (1,2,3,4,1) - A regular star maybe?
    00:28:465 (1,2,3,4,5,1) - A regular hexagon?
    00:30:206 (2) - blanket
    00:31:561 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - I don't think a stream is rightly placed here, since I can't find sounds at 00:31:658 00:31:852 00:32:045. You can place jumps here.
    01:09:497 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - same ^ but you can keep this stream since 00:57:110 (1,2,3,4,5,6) is placed

    00:57:110 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - This one is rightly placed cuz it follows the piano
    keep all streams, fix some more patterns.



    Good Luck~wwww


    I prefer current mp3. sound fine to me

    updated.
Mira-san
aaaa gg dis map
BeatofIke
Hi Tari-san! Random timing mod! >w<

Your timing sounds too early and off-measure as well. Try using 215 (+8) as the offset and add another red timing section at 602 so the metronome is on measure. It should look like this:



Also, don't forgot to do the same thing for every difficulty and re-snap all notes and timing sections afterwards.
Good luck with your map!
:D
Topic Starter
Tari
Fixed!

Thank you for stars BeatofIke and Nanaka <3
Knotts
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa go Tari!
pieguyn
[Easy]
00:13:763 (1) - http://puu.sh/csm73/d5789de867.jpg ? better blanket imo
00:17:634 (1) - dont understand why soft finish here, it's not here on other diffs
00:45:505 (1) - normal-hitnormal on end?
01:06:989 (1) - soft finish here? imo fits better than drum finish, also fits with the rest of the finishes. up to you (if you accept, change on other diffs too)

[Normal]
00:48:601 (2,3) - spacing
01:23:827 (3) - missing normal-hitnormal here?

[Mochi's Hard]
00:33:698 (4) - imo make it more straight, looks nicer and also consistent with others
00:59:247 (1) - move 2nd point down for better blanket

[Insane]
00:40:860 (1) - finish on start to match cymbal
01:07:956 (4) - move left a bit to make the structure more consistent? also feels like less of a stretch to play. just a suggestion

don't see anything wrong. nice map, gl >w<
-Nanaka-
hi Tari & Momochikun!!! :oops:

short suggestion

[General]
  1. Widescreen E.N.I
  2. Unsnap Preview time
  3. Video offset 0 Also I was comparing official and many times


[Easy]
  1. 00:06:892 (1) - Do not too close?red line start
  2. 00:13:763 (1,2) - incompatibility try this
  3. 00:19:763 (4) - The big sound remove Clap
  4. 00:47:053 (2) - Sampleset Auto & whistle end?
  5. 00:48:601 (1) - Sampleset Auto & whistle hed?
  6. 01:27:214 (1) - Do not too close?white line start


[Normal]
  1. 00:19:763 (5) - The big sound remove Clap
  2. 00:46:085 (2,5) - whistle hed? 00:49:182 (3) - Same sound here
  3. 00:48:601 (2) - Sampleset Auto & whistle hed?
  4. 01:02:537 (3,4) - incompatibility try this
  5. 01:14:924 (3,4) - ^
  6. 01:27:214 (1) - Do not too close?white line start


[Mochi H]
  1. 00:15:118 (3) - Remove Clap end
  2. 00:07:376 (1,2) - Conversely whistle or All whistle
  3. 00:57:698 (4) - same NC kiai start
  4. 01:17:053 (3) - Remove Clap end...No such sound


[Insane]
  1. 00:00:408 (2,3) - stack off

fine

Two co nice map :oops:
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