You already have a 52 and a 47pp song at rank 133k, while most people dont get 40+pp songs until they are <99k. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but your rank is so much lower than what it should be considering your highest pp song is 52pp. This is because you clearly only try to play songs that are way too hard for you (big black), and dont have many 25-35pp songs, making your rank lower than it should be. While this can be good for some lucky high pp songs for your rank, you won't be improving much, and will probably just learn to spam circles, and your reading / sense of rhythm will be terrible.
You don't have to play normally like everyone else if you don't want to, as osu is like most other games (for fun), but it will definitely be better for you in the long run. You can still definitely get to the top with that playstyle (I remember seeing a thread where a rank 2k said he couldn't play any maps that weren't insane AR9+ because he started playing only insanes with NF from day one). Also keep in mind not many people can actually pass big black without NF / HT, there probably isn't anyone that is >10k rank that can legitimately pass big black, so you still have a long way to go before you need to worry about that map.
If I were you, I would play hards and go for FC's, that will improve consistency over time and give you a normal learning curve, as well as making your rank look nicer faster. I played normally and focused on rhythm / streaming (keyboard hand) more than jumps, and now while I have an average tablet hand for my rank, i definitely think my keyboard hand is pretty ahead for my rank (I managed to pass Mythologias End at around rank 27k, which I think is impressive at least).
