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yanaginagi - Wasurenai Tame ni

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Total Posts
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Topic Starter
captin1
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on Sunday, September 21, 2014 at 2:11:26 AM

Artist: yanaginagi
Title: Wasurenai Tame ni
Source: ブラック・ブレット
Tags: ending -[Koinuri] Black Bullet 黒の銃弾 Kuro no Juugan トコハナ Tokohana イトケン itoken 今野均グループ Hitoshi Konno Strings 井内 啓二 Inai Keiji Shunroku Hitani studio MSR
BPM: 85
Filesize: 10770kb
Play Time: 04:23
Difficulties Available:
  1. Hard (2.52 stars, 426 notes)
  2. Normal (1.86 stars, 243 notes)


Download: yanaginagi - Wasurenai Tame ni
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
AMAZING
SB
BY
-[Koinuri]
Luna-
Amazing work from both
gl~
69653863

Mod request from my queue™

Formatting details:
  1. Red is unrankable and must be fixed.
  2. Pink is you should apply this to any similar notes/parts/patterns/whatever it was stated on it.
  3. Mods with question marks (?) are only suggestion/opinion. You're free to choose whether you're going to apply it or not.


Additional notes:
  1. I cannot mod special game modes.
  2. Please reply to my mods, I always looking forward to the replies so I could improve better.
  3. If you think one or more points on my mod is unclear, feel free to ask about it.


Some useful links for mapping:
  1. Analyzing flow in beatmaps
  2. Mapping polarity
  3. How to make beautiful sliders
  4. How to make beautiful sliders (advanced)
  5. Difficulty naming
  6. Advanced Timing

okay

[ General]
  1. somehow I feel that the kick sound is late. idk maybe check the sound file? as other hitsounds are fine but this kick sound
  2. I doubt the camogreen colour (combocolour 2) tbh. maybe try this camobrown variant (125,97,66), might fit with the sepiatoned bg. also why purple?
  3. sb
    1. can use a slight background fadein at the beginning of the map i guess
    2. in my opinion tbh, the way you used a 1366px wide line.png for almost all rectangle-sprites purpose is just technically unoptimized. all you do is draw lines, boxes, and that ripple thingy whatever you call it. do you know you can just use a 1x1px white sprite and rescale it the way you want and the result will still be the same?
    3. the diary/text/whatever thingy on 03:18:766 - maybe you can tune down the opacity of the blue lines a bit (fade out) and oh yeah the last textline is unreadable because spinner
    4. that was me talking about visual and technical aspects, now on to the core of the storyboarding itself; the meaning aspect. again these are my subjective opinions in which you might not agree with but I think it's okay for you (and maybe for some others) to take a read
    5. what does the teardrops and ripples have to do with anything?
    6. why halo on girl's body? it doesn't make any sense for me
    7. heart pulses? ain't we usually see these kind of stuff in a cheerful, happy, energetic song :0
    8. talking about overall intentions and meaning of this storyboard, for me, I personally feel that these scenes (teardrops, ripples, far-east-nightbird-visualizer-thingy-that-waves thing, etc) just didn't make any sense, it doesn't reflect anything neither the bg nor the song :/ for me storyboards should at least depicts or visualizes the song's atmosphere, meaning, or anything related to it. storyboards ain't about niceties nor decoration, it's about expression. I admit, this storyboard is awesome in a first glance, nice job you have and I respect your hardwork, but admittedly the storyboard just feel empty for me.
    9. keep in mind that all above is a subjective opinion from me, no obligations forced at all or anything. forgive me if I might offend anyone here, i just feel like writing these here :/

[ Normal]
  1. 00:40:119 (1,2,3) - maybe you can bring these up a bit? sliderends touched the bottom of the window which doesn't look very neat o:
  2. 01:01:648 (1) - polarity issues: starts on red tick which is kinda meh :/ either split to two circles or just put one circle on the white tick
  3. 01:11:884 (1) - hm? not following anything imo, what if you just put one circle 01:11:884 -
  4. 01:16:825 (1,2) - maybe you were planning on blanket or something'
  5. 01:24:590 (3,1) - I assume missed blanket.
  6. 01:33:060 (4,1) - blanket? I know you're going to (-:
  7. 02:23:531 (3,1) - missed blanket
  8. inverness stop modding blankets ohg od

[ Hard]
  1. 01:18:237 (4,1) - maybe stack instead? stack it stylishly B) just like you did other custom stacks
  2. 01:57:060 (6) - press ctrl+leftarrow
  3. 02:05:531 (1,2,3,4) - unusual pattern :0
  4. 02:20:355 (1,2,3,4,5,6,1) - the not so good flow tbh
    everything else is good i think, those perfect manual stacks are just way too heartwarming <3
:!:
obligatory: kd pls
Topic Starter
captin1

Mod request from my queue™


okay

[ General]
  1. somehow I feel that the kick sound is late. idk maybe check the sound file? as other hitsounds are fine but this kick sound checked and there isn't a delay
  2. I doubt the camogreen colour (combocolour 2) tbh. maybe try this camobrown variant (125,97,66), might fit with the sepiatoned bg. also why purple? sure on the brown color, the purple was just to make the parts that I used it stand out more
  3. sb
    1. can use a slight background fadein at the beginning of the map i guess
    2. in my opinion tbh, the way you used a 1366px wide line.png for almost all rectangle-sprites purpose is just technically unoptimized. all you do is draw lines, boxes, and that ripple thingy whatever you call it. do you know you can just use a 1x1px white sprite and rescale it the way you want and the result will still be the same?
    3. the diary/text/whatever thingy on 03:18:766 - maybe you can tune down the opacity of the blue lines a bit (fade out) and oh yeah the last textline is unreadable because spinner
    4. that was me talking about visual and technical aspects, now on to the core of the storyboarding itself; the meaning aspect. again these are my subjective opinions in which you might not agree with but I think it's okay for you (and maybe for some others) to take a read
    5. what does the teardrops and ripples have to do with anything?
    6. why halo on girl's body? it doesn't make any sense for me
    7. heart pulses? ain't we usually see these kind of stuff in a cheerful, happy, energetic song :0
    8. talking about overall intentions and meaning of this storyboard, for me, I personally feel that these scenes (teardrops, ripples, far-east-nightbird-visualizer-thingy-that-waves thing, etc) just didn't make any sense, it doesn't reflect anything neither the bg nor the song :/ for me storyboards should at least depicts or visualizes the song's atmosphere, meaning, or anything related to it. storyboards ain't about niceties nor decoration, it's about expression. I admit, this storyboard is awesome in a first glance, nice job you have and I respect your hardwork, but admittedly the storyboard just feel empty for me.
    9. keep in mind that all above is a subjective opinion from me, no obligations forced at all or anything. forgive me if I might offend anyone here, i just feel like writing these here :/

[ Normal]
  1. 00:40:119 (1,2,3) - maybe you can bring these up a bit? sliderends touched the bottom of the window which doesn't look very neat o: they're well above the bottom of the screen ingame though
  2. 01:01:648 (1) - polarity issues: starts on red tick which is kinda meh :/ either split to two circles or just put one circle on the white tick I think it's fine since it's following vocal
  3. 01:11:884 (1) - hm? not following anything imo, what if you just put one circle 01:11:884 - there's definitely some percussive bell sounds here
  4. 01:16:825 (1,2) - maybe you were planning on blanket or something'
  5. 01:24:590 (3,1) - I assume missed blanket.
  6. 01:33:060 (4,1) - blanket? I know you're going to (-:
  7. 02:23:531 (3,1) - missed blanket
  8. inverness stop modding blankets ohg od fixed them lol

[ Hard]
  1. 01:18:237 (4,1) - maybe stack instead? stack it stylishly B) just like you did other custom stacks this is kept consistent with other times I have these sliders
  2. 01:57:060 (6) - press ctrl+leftarrow mmk
  3. 02:05:531 (1,2,3,4) - unusual pattern :0 adjusted
  4. 02:20:355 (1,2,3,4,5,6,1) - the not so good flow tbh ^
    everything else is good i think, those perfect manual stacks are just way too heartwarming <3 <3
:!:
obligatory: kd pls
thanks! I let Koinuri know that you had some comments for the sb
-[Koinuri]

inverness wrote:

[ General]
  1. sb
    1. can use a slight background fadein at the beginning of the map i guess Ok
    2. in my opinion tbh, the way you used a 1366px wide line.png for almost all rectangle-sprites purpose is just technically unoptimized. all you do is draw lines, boxes, and that ripple thingy whatever you call it. do you know you can just use a 1x1px white sprite and rescale it the way you want and the result will still be the same? Ah, ok. I had bad time with up-scaling things so I made a overly big line and scale them down. I'll change them
    3. the diary/text/whatever thingy on 03:18:766 - maybe you can tune down the opacity of the blue lines a bit (fade out) and oh yeah the last textline is unreadable because spinner rip, I'm not sure how to fix the spinner thing but I'll change the opacity.
    4. that was me talking about visual and technical aspects, now on to the core of the storyboarding itself; the meaning aspect. again these are my subjective opinions in which you might not agree with but I think it's okay for you (and maybe for some others) to take a read I tried to storyboard to the lyrics of the song
    5. what does the teardrops and ripples have to do with anything? There's a part in kiai about tears, and I thought it would be nice to bring it over here because it fits nicer from the mood.
    6. why halo on girl's body? it doesn't make any sense for me Yeah, I guess it doesn't really have any meaning, just thought it would look nice because I've been told in the last storyboard I made that the kiai wasn't standing out enough. Just another stuff to differentiate from the other parts. Same thing for the wave thing, that was the best sound visualizing effect that I came up with with the help of certain storyboard that kind of feel calm. I'll try to think more about them in the future storyboards.
    7. heart pulses? ain't we usually see these kind of stuff in a cheerful, happy, energetic song :0 The lyric here talks about playing together, so I tried to express it with 3 hearts with colors of Rentaro, Enju, and Tina (characters in anime)
    8. talking about overall intentions and meaning of this storyboard, for me, I personally feel that these scenes (teardrops, ripples, far-east-nightbird-visualizer-thingy-that-waves thing, etc) just didn't make any sense, it doesn't reflect anything neither the bg nor the song :/ for me storyboards should at least depicts or visualizes the song's atmosphere, meaning, or anything related to it. storyboards ain't about niceties nor decoration, it's about expression. I admit, this storyboard is awesome in a first glance, nice job you have and I respect your hardwork, but admittedly the storyboard just feel empty for me.
    9. keep in mind that all above is a subjective opinion from me, no obligations forced at all or anything. forgive me if I might offend anyone here, i just feel like writing these here :/
Thanks for looking at the storyboard! I'm still pretty new to this whole storyboard thing so I appreciate every feedback. Will fix some things after I get back from classes.

I tried incorporating bg into storyboard more, but since the bg have heavy perspective on it, I couldn't blend in other elements well, resulting in kind of adding a 2D layer on top of the bg.
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