Hmm. I'm your age and I'm 15 in one month.SonGoku1337 wrote:
I probably will sound like a teenager who hates everything.. But i don't think thats the problem.
I didin't done anything better to myself. I even make it worse. So im 14 years old gonna be 15 after few months. And i have a lot to say. Maybe this thread isn't a place to post it but anyways. Im lazy, i dont go outside at all and i have anger issues and when i mean anger issues i mean reall really bad issues. I rarely talk to anyone even with my family is somebody tries to discuss something with me about future, how is it going in my school and etc after few minutes of talking i probably end up screaming and saying that i don't care about school i don't care about anyone just leave me be. And after screaming stupid things like that i realize what i done and i regret it instantly but i don't do anything about it. Its seems like some "darkness" are growing in me. I wish i would have courage to talk about it in real life.. I tried a few times without i just come to my mothers rooms and without saying a word i just almost started crying and just came back like nothing happened. And the more i delay stuff like that the more problems i have. I feel like i couldn't overcome them myself maybe i can get advice in here.
Now other problems. I don't study at all... Everything started ~3 years ago i just started to sleep in most classes i mostly sit in the middle and teachers dont mind me because im really quiet at school. I started to draw in my notebooks and this habit just grew larger and larger i stopped doing my homework. And played games all day watched anime. Before that i had some hobbies like really simple 3d modelling but i dropped that. I dropped photoshop and some other minor stuff. Then i started to skip school. And every time anyone from my family would try to talk about it i just would end up saying that i dont care i will do what i want. I know this is bad i know i have to do something. But i simply can't i just can't force it myself to do something i don't want...
Then i started to worry about my future because i have older sister who is in her last year. So she is discussing alot with my mother where she should to study. And then i realized that i have to do something about it but i didint know what i want to do.. The only idea that came up is something with pc programming etc.. But then i realized i need math to do something and but i slept through all my math classes. After that i tried to learn "python" but i dropped after few minutes saying myself "this is too confusing.. I will try tommorow bla blabla"..
About friends.. I could say i have them.. kinda.. I just spend all my school breaks with them listening what they talking. And answering something if they ask it about it.. I didint got bullied that much. Just a little bit and i think everyone was bullied at some point. I tried to play "LOL" with my friends but i just ended up play all those games like it would be soloq i just sat there quiet listening to music mostly rock and ignoring what they talked about.
So i hope to get some advice. And i know that i look completely hopeless.. Maybe you will think this post wont do anything to me and im lookin stupid but i feel a little better saying my problems even if its a little...
Sorry about all grammar mistakes..
And after screaming stupid things like that i realize what i done and i regret it instantly but i don't do anything about it.Try to say you're sorry and let them know you regret it. If you don't say anything, people are just going to think you don't have any problems and you're just rude.
I tried a few times without i just come to my mothers rooms and without saying a word i just almost started crying and just came back like nothing happened.Keep trying and don't think about what may happen after you try and talk to her. Just go ahead and take the risk and say it, otherwise you're getting nowhere.
Then i started to skip school. And every time anyone from my family would try to talk about it i just would end up saying that i dont care i will do what i want. I know this is bad i know i have to do something.Now this is bad. You should just start going to school again and ignore what anyone else thinks when you're there. School is super important, especially since you don't even know what you want to do in the future.
About friends.. I could say i have them.. kinda.. I just spend all my school breaks with them listening what they talking.I had friends like this for about 2 and a half years of school. At first I thought it was fine, but it really wasn't. You should go and look for friends you can talk to about things you both like. It took me a while, going through different friends after friends, but it was worth it.
On topic:
I stopped playing osu and other games so much and actually started focusing on school a little bit after school. It's helpful.