not playign this game

I did quit smoking, 4 days already \:D/

better myself ha is that a new word never heard that before

Suwwato wrote:

better myself ha is that a new word never heard that before

It is.
Go read a dictionary, smh.

Studying during the holidays so that my school grades won't be crap
Got osu! to listen to & play rhythm to relief stress

SS AN INSANE AND EXTRA!

Increased my coffee consumption by 300%, whilst drinking 10-15 energy drinks a day.

I had a lot of tests coming up so I was not allowed to sleep.

I tried to stop being so loud and trash-talky against my opponents when playing sports or having dance battles.

I tried.

Studying more English.

Started studying seriously after watching many of Gabby's videos lol
They're really helping me so far (:

Started doing the 'don't break the chain' exercise. I now edit every single day because of this exercise and it helps a lot!

I've been attending therapy for a year or so now, started working out more and getting into shape again. I've started focusing more on what I want to do with my life, study in college and overall focusing on changing myself and being more smart, mature and optimistic.

nothing i'm just going downfall

Started learning music theory and looking forwaring to producing/composing music. Also i've thought about going to UK or some other places out of my country for studing and tought about my future as well.
Starting to get confident about myself, stabilizing and becoming, slowly, the person i want to be.

As of 3 weeks today, i have come off of my pain medications (Was on them for 25 months). feeling better overall,looking better, depression is gone and i have also found someone. Fear not people, good things will come your way. just keep on smiling

Learn't to not take my family for granted because one day they wont be there.
Also managing to get myself together and start making something out of myself at collage instead of messing around throwing it all way like i did back at school.

I helped a guy that was his first time at the gym, he was so confused on what to do so I decided to show him around.

I have trust issues but lately I try to be more outgoing and open up to people. Turned out some people don't really like the real me. I made enemies but at the same time found some friends, too. That's just how life is I guess

I'm extremely insecure and end up not doing or finishing anything at all. This is the reason why I keep having depression on and off for years. But now instead of wasting my time thinking about all the negative stuff I just force myself to start doing things and center my attention on those before I start dwelling on unnecessary stuff. Tbh I can say that I'm happy right now. I haven't felt this happy for years now :>

After years of being on anti-depressants, I decided it was time to change my life around. I felt like a zombie, and was far from comfortable in my own skin. With that being said, I took MYSELF off the medication (disposed of it), and took my demons head-on. It's been a little bit of a struggle, in addition to some reason tragedy that has come up, but for the most part, I have been doing well.

The story never ends, so keep on puushing (pun intended). We will all find our way in this world, at one point or another.

started running again hopefully by next year i'll go back to kickboxing. or try a traditional martial art. im going to go insane if i have to wait a other year to punch/kick a heavy bag!

yall gay

SonGoku1337 wrote:

I probably will sound like a teenager who hates everything.. But i don't think thats the problem.

I didin't done anything better to myself. I even make it worse. So im 14 years old gonna be 15 after few months. And i have a lot to say. Maybe this thread isn't a place to post it but anyways. Im lazy, i dont go outside at all and i have anger issues and when i mean anger issues i mean reall really bad issues. I rarely talk to anyone even with my family is somebody tries to discuss something with me about future, how is it going in my school and etc after few minutes of talking i probably end up screaming and saying that i don't care about school i don't care about anyone just leave me be. And after screaming stupid things like that i realize what i done and i regret it instantly but i don't do anything about it. Its seems like some "darkness" are growing in me. I wish i would have courage to talk about it in real life.. I tried a few times without i just come to my mothers rooms and without saying a word i just almost started crying and just came back like nothing happened. And the more i delay stuff like that the more problems i have. I feel like i couldn't overcome them myself maybe i can get advice in here.

Now other problems. I don't study at all... Everything started ~3 years ago i just started to sleep in most classes i mostly sit in the middle and teachers dont mind me because im really quiet at school. I started to draw in my notebooks and this habit just grew larger and larger i stopped doing my homework. And played games all day watched anime. Before that i had some hobbies like really simple 3d modelling but i dropped that. I dropped photoshop and some other minor stuff. Then i started to skip school. And every time anyone from my family would try to talk about it i just would end up saying that i dont care i will do what i want. I know this is bad i know i have to do something. But i simply can't i just can't force it myself to do something i don't want...
Then i started to worry about my future because i have older sister who is in her last year. So she is discussing alot with my mother where she should to study. And then i realized that i have to do something about it but i didint know what i want to do.. The only idea that came up is something with pc programming etc.. But then i realized i need math to do something and but i slept through all my math classes. After that i tried to learn "python" but i dropped after few minutes saying myself "this is too confusing.. I will try tommorow bla blabla"..

About friends.. I could say i have them.. kinda.. I just spend all my school breaks with them listening what they talking. And answering something if they ask it about it.. I didint got bullied that much. Just a little bit and i think everyone was bullied at some point. I tried to play "LOL" with my friends but i just ended up play all those games like it would be soloq i just sat there quiet listening to music mostly rock and ignoring what they talked about.

So i hope to get some advice. And i know that i look completely hopeless.. Maybe you will think this post wont do anything to me and im lookin stupid but i feel a little better saying my problems even if its a little...

Sorry about all grammar mistakes..

holy sh... im 15 now i older than you, just watch some anime m8 D:

SonGoku1337 wrote:

I probably will sound like a teenager who hates everything.. But i don't think thats the problem.

I didin't done anything better to myself. I even make it worse. So im 14 years old gonna be 15 after few months. And i have a lot to say. Maybe this thread isn't a place to post it but anyways. Im lazy, i dont go outside at all and i have anger issues and when i mean anger issues i mean reall really bad issues. I rarely talk to anyone even with my family is somebody tries to discuss something with me about future, how is it going in my school and etc after few minutes of talking i probably end up screaming and saying that i don't care about school i don't care about anyone just leave me be. And after screaming stupid things like that i realize what i done and i regret it instantly but i don't do anything about it. Its seems like some "darkness" are growing in me. I wish i would have courage to talk about it in real life.. I tried a few times without i just come to my mothers rooms and without saying a word i just almost started crying and just came back like nothing happened. And the more i delay stuff like that the more problems i have. I feel like i couldn't overcome them myself maybe i can get advice in here.

Now other problems. I don't study at all... Everything started ~3 years ago i just started to sleep in most classes i mostly sit in the middle and teachers dont mind me because im really quiet at school. I started to draw in my notebooks and this habit just grew larger and larger i stopped doing my homework. And played games all day watched anime. Before that i had some hobbies like really simple 3d modelling but i dropped that. I dropped photoshop and some other minor stuff. Then i started to skip school. And every time anyone from my family would try to talk about it i just would end up saying that i dont care i will do what i want. I know this is bad i know i have to do something. But i simply can't i just can't force it myself to do something i don't want...
Then i started to worry about my future because i have older sister who is in her last year. So she is discussing alot with my mother where she should to study. And then i realized that i have to do something about it but i didint know what i want to do.. The only idea that came up is something with pc programming etc.. But then i realized i need math to do something and but i slept through all my math classes. After that i tried to learn "python" but i dropped after few minutes saying myself "this is too confusing.. I will try tommorow bla blabla"..

About friends.. I could say i have them.. kinda.. I just spend all my school breaks with them listening what they talking. And answering something if they ask it about it.. I didint got bullied that much. Just a little bit and i think everyone was bullied at some point. I tried to play "LOL" with my friends but i just ended up play all those games like it would be soloq i just sat there quiet listening to music mostly rock and ignoring what they talked about.

So i hope to get some advice. And i know that i look completely hopeless.. Maybe you will think this post wont do anything to me and im lookin stupid but i feel a little better saying my problems even if its a little...

Sorry about all grammar mistakes..

I feel you, im also 14 before October 10, our story's almost the same except for the school part(but I also took my studies very lightly). I think the problem with me(and with you.. i think) is that we lack affection/passion towards anything, it is so me to do things half-assed and I end up regretting what i did, or what decision i made. Right now tho, im doing my best to change this(i try to do things full-assed now haha.. just kidding), try to be positive at all times and give love everywhere(literally) just love everybody(especially ur family), try to have patience in dealing with people and stay chill and happy all the time. I hope this helps, cuz pretty much the same thing is happening to me ryt now. Goodluck to us =]

PS. I also dont know what to do in the future, i dont have any plans yet(probably something with programming too)

SonGoku1337 wrote:

I probably will sound like a teenager who hates everything.. But i don't think thats the problem.

I didin't done anything better to myself. I even make it worse. So im 14 years old gonna be 15 after few months. And i have a lot to say. Maybe this thread isn't a place to post it but anyways. Im lazy, i dont go outside at all and i have anger issues and when i mean anger issues i mean reall really bad issues. I rarely talk to anyone even with my family is somebody tries to discuss something with me about future, how is it going in my school and etc after few minutes of talking i probably end up screaming and saying that i don't care about school i don't care about anyone just leave me be. And after screaming stupid things like that i realize what i done and i regret it instantly but i don't do anything about it. Its seems like some "darkness" are growing in me. I wish i would have courage to talk about it in real life.. I tried a few times without i just come to my mothers rooms and without saying a word i just almost started crying and just came back like nothing happened. And the more i delay stuff like that the more problems i have. I feel like i couldn't overcome them myself maybe i can get advice in here.

Now other problems. I don't study at all... Everything started ~3 years ago i just started to sleep in most classes i mostly sit in the middle and teachers dont mind me because im really quiet at school. I started to draw in my notebooks and this habit just grew larger and larger i stopped doing my homework. And played games all day watched anime. Before that i had some hobbies like really simple 3d modelling but i dropped that. I dropped photoshop and some other minor stuff. Then i started to skip school. And every time anyone from my family would try to talk about it i just would end up saying that i dont care i will do what i want. I know this is bad i know i have to do something. But i simply can't i just can't force it myself to do something i don't want...
Then i started to worry about my future because i have older sister who is in her last year. So she is discussing alot with my mother where she should to study. And then i realized that i have to do something about it but i didint know what i want to do.. The only idea that came up is something with pc programming etc.. But then i realized i need math to do something and but i slept through all my math classes. After that i tried to learn "python" but i dropped after few minutes saying myself "this is too confusing.. I will try tommorow bla blabla"..

About friends.. I could say i have them.. kinda.. I just spend all my school breaks with them listening what they talking. And answering something if they ask it about it.. I didint got bullied that much. Just a little bit and i think everyone was bullied at some point. I tried to play "LOL" with my friends but i just ended up play all those games like it would be soloq i just sat there quiet listening to music mostly rock and ignoring what they talked about.

So i hope to get some advice. And i know that i look completely hopeless.. Maybe you will think this post wont do anything to me and im lookin stupid but i feel a little better saying my problems even if its a little...

Sorry about all grammar mistakes..

Hmm. I'm your age and I'm 15 in one month.

And after screaming stupid things like that i realize what i done and i regret it instantly but i don't do anything about it.

Try to say you're sorry and let them know you regret it. If you don't say anything, people are just going to think you don't have any problems and you're just rude.

I tried a few times without i just come to my mothers rooms and without saying a word i just almost started crying and just came back like nothing happened.

Keep trying and don't think about what may happen after you try and talk to her. Just go ahead and take the risk and say it, otherwise you're getting nowhere.

Then i started to skip school. And every time anyone from my family would try to talk about it i just would end up saying that i dont care i will do what i want. I know this is bad i know i have to do something.

Now this is bad. You should just start going to school again and ignore what anyone else thinks when you're there. School is super important, especially since you don't even know what you want to do in the future.

About friends.. I could say i have them.. kinda.. I just spend all my school breaks with them listening what they talking.

I had friends like this for about 2 and a half years of school. At first I thought it was fine, but it really wasn't. You should go and look for friends you can talk to about things you both like. It took me a while, going through different friends after friends, but it was worth it.

On topic:

I stopped playing osu and other games so much and actually started focusing on school a little bit after school. It's helpful.

.

Chiuyo wrote:

I've been trying to ignore everything that stresses me and I got back to college again, and actually doing my homework and things I've missed. Unfortunetly life isn't always fair and yesterday I got hit by a car and resulted in me not being able to move my right leg at all and broke my thumb. Meh, now I have to start all over, haha.

?????? why would you share it lol, seeking attention much??

Katsu wrote:

Chiuyo wrote:

I've been trying to ignore everything that stresses me and I got back to college again, and actually doing my homework and things I've missed. Unfortunetly life isn't always fair and yesterday I got hit by a car and resulted in me not being able to move my right leg at all and broke my thumb. Meh, now I have to start all over, haha.

?????? why would you share it lol, seeking attention much??

Nowhere did I seek any attention and if so, please be kind to share. I simply wrote the progress and what has happened in my life. Stop jumping to conclusions and trying to make someones day shittier than it is. Good bye.

Edit: If you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, too bad. But I wont argue over the internet sorry. Bye.

Chiuyo wrote:

Just how am I seeking attention? This is a thread where you write what you have done to better yourself lately, what happened to me yesterday basically set a wall into my progress in life. So please, don't.

yeah, getting hit by a car made you so much better, pls. if that's not seeking for people's attention and trying to get sympathy then what is it?
and congrats on breaking thumb only, don't lose your right leg, would be a waste

Chiuyo wrote:

I've been trying to ignore everything that stresses me and I got back to college again, and actually doing my homework and things I've missed. Unfortunetly life isn't always fair and yesterday I got hit by a car and resulted in me not being able to move my right leg at all and broke my thumb. Meh, now I have to start all over, haha.

what does matter is.. was the car diesel, gasoline or gpl?

AlecszkA wrote:

Chiuyo wrote:

I've been trying to ignore everything that stresses me and I got back to college again, and actually doing my homework and things I've missed. Unfortunetly life isn't always fair and yesterday I got hit by a car and resulted in me not being able to move my right leg at all and broke my thumb. Meh, now I have to start all over, haha.

what does matter is.. was the car diesel, gasoline or gpl?

I think it ran on electricity, hence why she didn't die. Those electric cars are hella slow.

.

I've developed my blog into my own personal website so I guess I'm getting my ideas heard and am one step closer to promoting myself to potential employers. Life is getting too real now.

Katsu wrote:

Chiuyo wrote:

Just how am I seeking attention? This is a thread where you write what you have done to better yourself lately, what happened to me yesterday basically set a wall into my progress in life. So please, don't.

yeah, getting hit by a car made you so much better, pls. if that's not seeking for people's attention and trying to get sympathy then what is it?
and congrats on breaking thumb only, don't lose your right leg, would be a waste

I think you definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Getting hit by a car can change you in many ways, and I bet it would change you aswell. Even the fact, that the driver could've killed you if he would have hit you with more speed etc. Think about it.

---
This could be a bit longer, so no flames plz. :')


At the moment im pretty much trying to get my life together once again. I've always been a very very lazy and introverted person my entire life. I just can't motivate myself to do something, or to finish something that I started.

Everything pretty much started in my first 8 years of school, where I was bullied constantly, and obviously had no friends in these years. Even the kids in my neighborhood back then made fun of me etc.
I never told anyone about it, even my parents didn't know about that. I don't even know why I never told anyone. May I was thinking that it would get even worse if I open my mouth and tell someone. I hated life in these years, even when I started to not give a single shit about what these people said after some time. I just lived with the fact that I'm a person no one gives a fuck about. The only way to find "Friends" at this time for me was by playing Video Games. World of Warcraft, CS etc. Everything online just helped me to flee from everything that was happening IRL.

After these 8 years I got into a new school once again, and finally found friends there. My life got completetly turned around, and everything was getting better.
As I completed my 3 years there, the contact to these people got reduced drastically, and i almost never met them again. Maybe 2-3 times every 4-5 months. Maybe it was my fault, I dont know. But I was pretty much okay with that.
Got a girlfriend shortly after I finished school, and had a pretty long and nice relationship until she cheated on me. It fucked me so damn hard. She even did that over a period of 2 Months while she was in a boarding home. This was like ~7 Months ago, and it took me a long time to get over it. Fuck her =)

2 Months ago, I decided to do something because sitting behind my Screen for 14-15 Hours straight was getting on my nerves already. Now I'm going to the gym actively, where I met people that I hang out with the most of the time. Online and Offline. I think these guys are pretty much the reason that I got such a big motivation boost, after all the crap that happened all the years ago. It's good to have people around you, which really care about you as a friend.

.

Katsu wrote:

Chiuyo wrote:

Just how am I seeking attention? This is a thread where you write what you have done to better yourself lately, what happened to me yesterday basically set a wall into my progress in life. So please, don't.

yeah, getting hit by a car made you so much better, pls. if that's not seeking for people's attention and trying to get sympathy then what is it?
and congrats on breaking thumb only, don't lose your right leg, would be a waste

You're a dick, Katsu.

I've always been the lonely type of guy, loads of friends online and in-game(s) but never really any in real life, I was always the type that kinda just tagged along and never got invited too anything. I have my own personal things to better just like everyone else, but not all of them I feel comfortable with sharing, plus, I like to keep to happy posts.

Today, after wanting to do it for quite a while I finally filled out a form to become an organ donor in the UK. Having the chance to at least do something valuable once I'm gone gives a nice feeling. Also applied for my second job after my first didn't go so well (low wage, taken advantage of etc) and have an interview on Saturday. One of the most uplifting days I've had in a while so I guess it counts as bettering myself, definitely bettering my happiness at least.

I'm studying a lot and doing great with my final exams on my art course. I decided to take this course after trying the science course (and failing miserably at it), and I don't regret it. Now I'm more open to people. I used to be lonely, and kinda hater too. I'd talk shit about people I barely know. I thought that the people around me was the problem, but it was me alone the whole time. I also believed people was isolating me and such, but I was the one isolating myself from the world. I'd listen to music even in school with my earphones, draw doodles on my notebook, and sit alone. Now I enjoy talking with people, going out, and I'm not as shy as I used to be. I'm still kinda shy to people I don't know but I can talk with anybody without feeling nervous.

It may look like the art course doesn't have anything to do with this, but it does. I lost a lot of my shyness because as an art student I have to do things in front of a lot of people, like singing, dancing, acting, etc. It was very difficult for me at first, but I got used to it and feel proud of myself.

Kei wrote:

I'm studying a lot and doing great with my final exams on my art course. I decided to take this course after trying the science course (and failing miserably at it), and I don't regret it. Now I'm more open to people. I used to be lonely, and kinda hater too. I'd talk shit about people I barely know. I thought that the people around me was the problem, but it was me alone the whole time. I also believed people was isolating me and such, but I was the one isolating myself from the world. I'd listen to music even in school with my earphones, draw doodles on my notebook, and sit alone. Now I enjoy talking with people, going out, and I'm not as shy as I used to be. I'm still kinda shy to people I don't know but I can talk with anybody without feeling nervous.

It may look like the art course doesn't have anything to do with this, but it does. I lost a lot of my shyness because as an art student I have to do things in front of a lot of people, like singing, dancing, acting, etc. It was very difficult for me at first, but I got used to it and feel proud of myself.

Not to mention that Art student need alot of relations with people, by alot.. i mean... ALOT

Anyway, good luck on the course that you picked up, based on my experiences, Art students tend to be more expressive and outgoing... I think...