I took a break from osu! just to return to get silenced for 2 weeks right away, for no reason. That means I was gone for about a month in total. I realized a few things during that time.

1. People suck. A lot.
2. osu! people suck even more, like holy fuck. Most of you guys have no idea about the sense of rationality.
3. People are really shallow, and tend to pretend shit that don't really matter to them a single bit.
4. I have things to do. Like serious things that will help me get better at life.

Things to do include mainly having to focus more on school and less on people. A small step for a person like me, easily overcomeable, when school continues. Even if I did want to spend time with people, I would need to make sure that they are worth my time. Which is really tough, considering that I only know osu! people (NEDM is cool though). At least I have a few IRL friends.

I've spent time watching movies, even playing video games which is something completely new to me aside from Pokémon and Spyro. That's actually fun. I've spent time outdoors, hanging out at the beach, taking random walks and bus/train trips to nowhere. I've even found my motivation in making music again, and oh boy is that stuff delightful and refreshing. I've also slept a lot, escaping reality is another fun hobby of mine. ASMR videos have helped me a lot with seeing mostly good dreams.

Elliott Hulse's videos have become really helpful with managing my mindset and so on, there's some really good ideas I will, I HAVE TO adapt to my life in the future. I don't want to end up depressed, compliant, bound to fucking unnecessary things that will do shit for me. "Be an egomaniac!" - Elliott Hulse, 2014

So yeah, anyway, I'm leaving the city in 6 days, which means a lot of more good things for me for another week. I need to get my shit together before school starts, and continue keeping my shit together when the school starts. Shouldn't be tough, considering that I will have to do this, and it's my last 1,5 years coming up next - mainly easy subjects, and the interesting ones. Also Swedish, but who cares.

Static Noise Bird wrote:

I took a break from osu! just to return to get silenced for 2 weeks right away, for no reason. That means I was gone for about a month in total. I realized a few things during that time.

1. People suck. A lot.
2. osu! people suck even more, like holy fuck. Most of you guys have no idea about the sense of rationality.
3. People are really shallow, and tend to pretend shit that don't really matter to them a single bit.
4. I have things to do. Like serious things that will help me get better at life.

Things to do include mainly having to focus more on school and less on people. A small step for a person like me, easily overcomeable, when school continues. Even if I did want to spend time with people, I would need to make sure that they are worth my time. Which is really tough, considering that I only know osu! people (NEDM is cool though). At least I have a few IRL friends.

I've spent time watching movies, even playing video games which is something completely new to me aside from Pokémon and Spyro. That's actually fun. I've spent time outdoors, hanging out at the beach, taking random walks and bus/train trips to nowhere. I've even found my motivation in making music again, and oh boy is that stuff delightful and refreshing. I've also slept a lot, escaping reality is another fun hobby of mine. ASMR videos have helped me a lot with seeing mostly good dreams.

Elliott Hulse's videos have become really helpful with managing my mindset and so on, there's some really good ideas I will, I HAVE TO adapt to my life in the future. I don't want to end up depressed, compliant, bound to fucking unnecessary things that will do shit for me. "Be an egomaniac!" - Elliott Hulse, 2014

So yeah, anyway, I'm leaving the city in 6 days, which means a lot of more good things for me for another week. I need to get my shit together before school starts, and continue keeping my shit together when the school starts. Shouldn't be tough, considering that I will have to do this, and it's my last 1,5 years coming up next - mainly easy subjects, and the interesting ones. Also Swedish, but who cares.

I'm really glad you have begun these changes. I feel like this is a step in the right direction for you and I encourage you to continue pursuing these changes as long as they continue to make you feel better.

There are people who can be really nasty in this world and I feel like it's better to associate yourself with even just one good person compared to being surrounded by 100 nasty people who don't honestly give a shit.

Keep fighting bud, you can do it.

Read this forum

I haven't been on a forum in a while, so forgive me if I'm not proper enough or too proper, but I've made some changes over the past year (or maybe two) that I don't mind sharing. c:

Like many others on the Internet, I am fairly shy, and I decided to stop letting it hold me back. I was never a shy or quiet person when I was younger, but I was bullied in elementary school which caused me to lose a lot of my confidence (appearance, abilities, etc.). All of the friends that I had when I was younger have always hurt me in one way or another, so I grew fairly untrusting of others. Thankfully I transferred schools in 7th grade and the bullying stopped, but I was still very insecure and afraid of people. I even made a very good friend who is still my best friend to this day. In high school, my shyness hindered me a lot. I made some friends, but I always cared so much of what others thought of me and it made me really depressed. A lot of it was by my own means, but I slowly realized that people's opinions of me shouldn't matter and they shouldn't affect my mood. I started to be myself instead of trying to "fit in" (which I wasn't particularly good at, anyways). I'm still pretty quiet and I don't talk unless I have something meaningful to say, but I don't hold back nearly as much as I used to and I am very content with the progress that I made. I'm a much happier person because of it! It took away 90% of my depression (and I'm sure the remaining 10% is just part of being a teenage girl).

In addition to that, I improved my grades drastically. When I was really young, I always excelled in school and did my best, but around the time I started to get bullied, my grades reflected how I was feeling. Unfortunately my grades were still pretty low in my freshman year of high school, but I can proudly say that I ended junior year with all A's.

My last thing is something I'm still working on, and it's finding a balance between being a kind person and being able to stand up for myself. I've gone through phases where I'm either way too nice and get pushed around, or I try standing up for myself but go too far and come off as overly-aggressive. It's hard to find a balance, but I've been trying to over the past two years and I think I'm slowly getting there. I want to be the best person that I can be, and I consider myself to be very open-hearted and understanding, but sometimes people take advantage of me and when I try to defend myself, I go too far. I want to be seen as a positive person, but I don't want people to think that they can treat me however they please.

Finally, I've tried to be more open with making new friendships and maintaining contact with old friends too. I'm a lot better at doing it online than in the real world, but I think that doing it online enables me to do it more easily when the time comes to do so in real life. I go to an all-girls school with 600 students, so I don't really have that many opportunities to make new friends (everyone already knows everyone and they know whether or not they want to be your friend) but I'd like to be a more sociable person in college, so I'm practicing. I've also found that I end up with one close friend, and I get attached, then if we get into an argument or something I become completely emotionally wrecked. I'm working on trying to have multiple close friends rather than one person to rely on, because for myself I don't feel that it is a healthy behavior.

Writing about this helped a lot! It made me realize how much progress I've made and how much I've yet to do. c: Thanks for reading, and I wish everyone the best of luck in improving themselves through whatever means necessary.

JAKACHAN wrote:

SPOILER

If you want to keep yourself the most alert and not have to deal with that drowsy feeling then you can always check out this site.

http://sleepyti.me/

Just put when you want to wake up and it will give you all the times you can sleep at with the best few as well highlighted a different color!

Thanks, much appreciated .

Lyvarna wrote:

SPOILER

I haven't been on a forum in a while, so forgive me if I'm not proper enough or too proper, but I've made some changes over the past year (or maybe two) that I don't mind sharing. c:

Like many others on the Internet, I am fairly shy, and I decided to stop letting it hold me back. I was never a shy or quiet person when I was younger, but I was bullied in elementary school which caused me to lose a lot of my confidence (appearance, abilities, etc.). All of the friends that I had when I was younger have always hurt me in one way or another, so I grew fairly untrusting of others. Thankfully I transferred schools in 7th grade and the bullying stopped, but I was still very insecure and afraid of people. I even made a very good friend who is still my best friend to this day. In high school, my shyness hindered me a lot. I made some friends, but I always cared so much of what others thought of me and it made me really depressed. A lot of it was by my own means, but I slowly realized that people's opinions of me shouldn't matter and they shouldn't affect my mood. I started to be myself instead of trying to "fit in" (which I wasn't particularly good at, anyways). I'm still pretty quiet and I don't talk unless I have something meaningful to say, but I don't hold back nearly as much as I used to and I am very content with the progress that I made. I'm a much happier person because of it! It took away 90% of my depression (and I'm sure the remaining 10% is just part of being a teenage girl).

In addition to that, I improved my grades drastically. When I was really young, I always excelled in school and did my best, but around the time I started to get bullied, my grades reflected how I was feeling. Unfortunately my grades were still pretty low in my freshman year of high school, but I can proudly say that I ended junior year with all A's.

My last thing is something I'm still working on, and it's finding a balance between being a kind person and being able to stand up for myself. I've gone through phases where I'm either way too nice and get pushed around, or I try standing up for myself but go too far and come off as overly-aggressive. It's hard to find a balance, but I've been trying to over the past two years and I think I'm slowly getting there. I want to be the best person that I can be, and I consider myself to be very open-hearted and understanding, but sometimes people take advantage of me and when I try to defend myself, I go too far. I want to be seen as a positive person, but I don't want people to think that they can treat me however they please.

Finally, I've tried to be more open with making new friendships and maintaining contact with old friends too. I'm a lot better at doing it online than in the real world, but I think that doing it online enables me to do it more easily when the time comes to do so in real life. I go to an all-girls school with 600 students, so I don't really have that many opportunities to make new friends (everyone already knows everyone and they know whether or not they want to be your friend) but I'd like to be a more sociable person in college, so I'm practicing. I've also found that I end up with one close friend, and I get attached, then if we get into an argument or something I become completely emotionally wrecked. I'm working on trying to have multiple close friends rather than one person to rely on, because for myself I don't feel that it is a healthy behavior.

Writing about this helped a lot! It made me realize how much progress I've made and how much I've yet to do. c: Thanks for reading, and I wish everyone the best of luck in improving themselves through whatever means necessary.

Yeah, shyness and bullying sucks. Good thing time usually heals stuff like that.

After taking a long drive to relax I realized today that my girlfriend leaving me was not the worst thing that could happen. Losing her is what really kicked me into overdrive to change all these negative aspects of myself. I do miss her and I still hope that one day I can see her again and maybe we can give it another shot, but I will continue to improve upon my changes and begin other things to really steer my life in the right direction. The only difference now is my goal is to be able to see her once again and that's what will motivate me to continue improving.

All I need to do is stay positive and hopefully life will work out well!

Gumpyyy wrote:

Read this forum

and the fact that all these posts in this topic makes me think of what I need to do to better myself ~

Little update for myself:

Went to the doctor today and was prescribed something that should help me with my running mind and anger even more. Will start it today, but it wont kick in for a few days to a week. I'm hoping for the best but we will see how it goes!

Let's try pinning this for a while.

I decided to focus on just one thing per day. What can I do today that will improve my wellbeing in the future? Today I'm eating clean. Good, healthy, nutritious food. That's it. The length of my commitment: 24 hours. Tomorrow, who knows! Maybe a shower long enough to drain all the hot water out the tank. ahhh.. Anyhow, that's tomorrow.

I'd like to hear what others have done for themselves today. One new thing please, that you don't usually do, but would improve your future if you did.

How about... stop looking up forums and get to bed at a reasonable hour.

I want some feedback in 24 hrs as to how you all went or now if you've already done something new and different. Let me know...

I recently got the courage and the will to fight for my goals and focus on the things i want to realize irl
i have been working out on me and on my problems since last year and this changed me a lot specially communicative wise
i used to be and i still am quite the introvert person from a few ages back, it all started when i quit high school because i couldn't take it anymore
might sound hard to believe but i had a depression when i was around 16/17 and i gave up on everything, until now i wasn't able to completely back up from it,i just found it impossible and summing it up up with real /online drama it made everything even worse for me so i was unable to completely fix it.
I still am on the track,there is times i fall down and quite hard sometimes tho i have learned to stand up and walk again on that road and one of the most important things that someone thought me is to share the burden as in allowing someone else carry a bit of the heavy weight that's on shoulders and trust me..this helped me a ton and i am glad i got to realize that.

so things said i applied to a vocational school where i will be finishing my remaining high school years (which is 3) by doing what i love the most which is digital art and i couldn't be more excited about it and its just mind blown for close people and myself,which is actually good!
isn't that a great feeling to have in the end of the day,right?just the fact that i was able to call to the school sign up and actually go there..its a big time boost up for the person that i am and gladly i am going to continue walking and realize my dreams because life is short and you need to live it even if you think that no one is there for you,no one cares yet there is always someone who does and wishes you well in life,so im doing that for myself..my grandparents and mom which have been there for me since i was a peanut sized human and someone really special in osu! who has been supporting me even way before knowing me well.

im sorry guys for the long novel but i hope even if its a small wish of mine and im being able to realize it im sure you can also do it,just don't give up and keep on walking even if its to much of a ''mainstream word'' that everyone listens to but as soon as you apply that into your mind,it will make a big time difference

side note
i went through a lot of issues i was actually indirectly called dumb/stupid because i didn't finished my high school but hey look i am a smart and willing person even without the proper school education, yet i was well raised and like Einstein (in case you even know who that sir was) he wasn't either the greatest mathematician/ Physicist or had a great school education yet he turned out to be the best scientist in the surface of this planet. And to you who is going to ''university'',having that kind of behavior wont either get you anywhere just proves how stupid you are for making fun of people that has larger issues then you.

I usually make excuses to myself to avoid any social interaction for some reason like finishing homework, too tired to talk etc.. So I've been trying to force myself to talk to people even if I don't want to. (Unless I hate them)

In general removing myself from toxic situations and environments and trying to pursue what I actually want to pursue instead of settling with what other people expect of me.

Translation: quitting my job and more actively pursuing my music.

Started to run with ankle weights and just the weights that you hold to hope i could get faster and stronger.
I'm not in track or anything, just its one of those things that would kind of help you in the long run.

Quit League.

I lost loads of weight

I've been doing long wig projects to keep myself doing something and not sitting all day. I really want to make more wigs so that I can get my shop more known, so I've been doing this big project to really show the skill that I have with it.

ztrot wrote:

I lost loads of weight

sooooo...pics pls? :U

I've been making a few of my projects fully automated so I have more time to kick back and relax a little. Feels so much better rather than being stressed to brink of a breakdown every day.

My family has been worried about me, since im always in front of the computer playing video game and watching anime.
They are always saying the same thing over and over again like
Ex. ' You should go outside the weather is great. and ' you should socialize yourself more'
I cant blame them cuz they are right.

As a person iam shy and quiet. This is probly cuz of my speech disorder (stuttering) and Social anxiety disorder (SAD). In high school i got bullied a lot bcuz of my speech disorder, which also lowered my selfconfidence. I hated reading out loud for the class because my classmates, were grining and trying hard not to laugh out loud.
But i had a couple of good freinds, who were backing me up during that hard time.

My parents suggested that i should go to a private school this year, because its less students and the teachers care more.

Im also going to speak with a speech therapist soo that i stutter less and can build up my selfconfidence.
Im trying to get out of the house more
Im trying to use my computer and cell phone less now
Im going to bed earlier
Im going to be more social
Im less lazy then b4 and i started exercising

Started revising, and basically strive for higher goals.

kynolenkun wrote:

Started to run with ankle weights and just the weights that you hold to hope i could get faster and stronger.
I'm not in track or anything, just its one of those things that would kind of help you in the long run.

>Help you in the long run.

That double entendre tho.

Is it not painful to wear weights around your ankles when you run? I feel as if I would injure myself if I tried to do that while jogging.

KazmiSain wrote:

My family has been worried about me, since im always in front of the computer playing video game and watching anime.
They are always saying the same thing over and over again like
Ex. ' You should go outside the weather is great. and ' you should socialize yourself more'
I cant blame them cuz they are right.

As a person iam shy and quiet. This is probly cuz of my speech disorder (stuttering) and Social anxiety disorder (SAD). In high school i got bullied a lot bcuz of my speech disorder, which also lowered my selfconfidence. I hated reading out loud for the class because my classmates, were grining and trying hard not to laugh out loud.
But i had a couple of good freinds, who were backing me up during that hard time.

My parents suggested that i should go to a private school this year, because its less students and the teachers care more.

Im also going to speak with a speech therapist soo that i stutter less and can build up my selfconfidence.
Im trying to get out of the house more
Im trying to use my computer and cell phone less now
Im going to bed earlier
Im going to be more social
Im less lazy then b4 and i started exercising

Good job and good luck!

Been a while and don't know if we can post several times about stuff, but I'm fully able to run a mile and a half and my physique has grown (along with my self confidence.) Already gained 10 pounds and can feel more energy in my body; it feels good to exercise.

P.S. JAKACHAN other than the rock climbing you do is there any other physical training you're committed to? Want to find new things to add to my routine.

Started cleaning up around the house, fixing up broken furniture and cleaning year-old messes around the workshop and garage. I can only put in a couple hours a day into it due to allergies but things are looking up rather nicely.

Started running and lifting again too; sleep schedule's still a mess though.

staying away from people who can lower my self-esteem; accepting people; trying to feel less detached even tho it's a bit hard (cos some days I think that it's better to be rather detached and distant. people are so fake anyway); and opening up to people when I could

-Seren- wrote:

staying away from people who can lower my self-esteem; accepting people; trying to feel less detached even tho it's a bit hard (cos some days I think that it's better to be rather detached and distant. people are so fake anyway); and opening up to people when I could

this is so inspiring, and its true ppl are fake . soooo fake

Sakura_rocks wrote:

-Seren- wrote:

staying away from people who can lower my self-esteem; accepting people; trying to feel less detached even tho it's a bit hard (cos some days I think that it's better to be rather detached and distant. people are so fake anyway); and opening up to people when I could

this is so inspiring, and its true ppl are fake . soooo fake

not all of them, ofc.

I've been keeping myself busy. constantly working on what I've learnt and applying it to my own projects.

Little update for me:

I have still been in California and actually extended my trip to an entire month. I have also decided once this trip ends to move back and will be driving back to California with all my stuff coming next week. I will be pursuing a career in photography and film and will be attempting to become sponsored by one of my favorite climbing companies. Everything is going well and falling into place!

CalignoBot wrote:

I got a job at a grocery store (primarily to start paying on the student loan bills) and have been focusing almost entirely on making sure my coworkers and managers have as positive an opinion as possible about me. Primarily, I've been trying to improve communication in my department and become a support that people can rely on since... our department is notorious for having people leave or get forcibly kicked out within two months of them joining. One side effect of working here is that I'm also actually gaining social skills since I never talked to anyone during high school.

I'm really damn glad I had the foresight to do this, since I was made aware of a future job opportunity that can finally get me out of that horrific work environment. Both of the managers I had worked under are pretty much guaranteed to give a full positive review of me when asked, and I have a couple other professional references from my coworkers that can point out that the strong points of my personality align perfectly with what they're looking for. On top of that, I have three people within the company I'm shooting for that can do the same thing. My resume is already completely done and ready to roll, so I basically only have to worry about making some kind of fatal mistake in an interview because I'm basically set.

Just having that job instead of my current one would improve my life drastically. Even discounting better pay and more benefits, pretty much everything is better. The hours are consistent (my current job is nowhere near consistent; I have times where I close the department at 9PM and have to be there at 7AM 2 days later), the work environment is calmer and supportive (constant stress about having to multitask various things while also worrying about having to help the front end at my current job), the dress code is incredibly lax (I walked to work in the company's 'uniform', which is basically winter clothes; SUMMER IS FUN), I sit for most of the day (it's hard to walk after most shifts since I work 9 hours a day; virtually all of it is on my feet), etc. etc.

The only real downside is that I'd be talking to people over a phone, which I don't have the best time doing. |:

Otherwise, I"m a lot more comfortable with where my life is going now than I did a couple months ago. Now I just need to get my motivation back and I'll be set \o/

I just performed, on stage (actually not, the stage was too small for the group I'm in, so we decided not to perform on it). And I spontaneously talked to people I don't know during the orientation period.

I got the fresh start that I want in university and I'm not going to waste it. And I also want a girlfriend ;_;

I learned php the three days ago and immediately used it on a project that was due yesterday.
I really do think that php will really help me later on.

I started to go outside.

I bought some Manga.

JAKACHAN wrote:

Little update for me:

I have still been in California and actually extended my trip to an entire month. I have also decided once this trip ends to move back and will be driving back to California with all my stuff coming next week. I will be pursuing a career in photography and film and will be attempting to become sponsored by one of my favorite climbing companies. Everything is going well and falling into place!

I can't wait to be a part of this soon

-

1. I decided to not continue school because I couldn't do it anymore.
2. I'll start learning for my drivers license soon, and I'll also start my apprenticeship as stewardess in a few weeks.

I renewed my gym membership and payed for a personal trainer, my body might not be ready for this.

ive stopped smoking for a whole 2 days

I've started to become more open to others at school and left my problems behind in the past and I'm going to follow my life goals!