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What have you done lately to better yourself?
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Studying for the bar exam… not quite sure what to do though, anxiety is accumulating faster than actual knowledge.
During these last months I have been exercising.
Why the heck didn't I start before? I have noticed myself being quite stronger than before, and I have started to feel physically better as well.
Why the heck didn't I start before? I have noticed myself being quite stronger than before, and I have started to feel physically better as well.
sametyhjyys wrote:
NOTHING
Sort of an update:Arctos Sagittario wrote:
Studying for the bar exam… not quite sure what to do though, anxiety is accumulating faster than actual knowledge.
Last night the phase I (multiple choice section) result was out. I passed.
I can’t even explain how I feel… Phase II (short essay section) is incoming in just two weeks, and I still have barely prepared. It’s most likely to be a mixture of joy, relief, and escalated anxiety…
I decide to intentionally double post because the last one was 6 days ago and it doesn’t quite feel right if I just edit it—- or so I think.
Long story short, I made up a decision to really go for it.
Long story short, I made up a decision to really go for it.
i had recently been sleeping earlier and earlier. my sleeping schedule is so fucked and i'm trying to fix it.
For me, slowly but getting there. Just have to take it slow, do what I want while not ignoring what I need to do! Mental health is getting better is what I'm trying to say.
Nothing. I’m still a major disappointment to everyone around me.
play osu less
Since quarantine started, my sleeping schedule and... my lifestyle in general is getting worse and worse, as 2020 is come to close soon, i expect and hoping that myself to (hopefully) fix all of those issues
osu! wise : listen to the rhythm more and stop playing for rank
osu! wise : listen to the rhythm more and stop playing for rank
Play less and work out or go outside more often and socializing.
Quaze
i also used to have anger issues, and i basically developed a habit of drinking tea whenever i feel pissed off
my fav tea is earl grey btw that shits good asf
my fav tea is earl grey btw that shits good asf
That is amazing. Tea works for everything especially milk tea. Except i started drinking milk tea due to frustration and been drinking a cup or two every daymozawa wrote:
i also used to have anger issues, and i basically developed a habit of drinking tea whenever i feel pissed off
my fav tea is earl grey btw that shits good asf
. Actually, at this certain moment, Im drinking milk teaWow, old post-
My problems are that I'm too mean and self-centered, and I also have trouble with expressing myself properly.
People usually mind me being bold
I've realised this and now I'm just... Trying to socialise more and learn about ethics. It's not really important for y'all, but I just wanted to let it out.
My problems are that I'm too mean and self-centered, and I also have trouble with expressing myself properly.
People usually mind me being bold
I've realised this and now I'm just... Trying to socialise more and learn about ethics. It's not really important for y'all, but I just wanted to let it out.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that due to my circumstances, which i wont get into here, I have to do things differently than most people do. Even though I feel as if I should be able to do the all same things as "normal" people, this past year has shown me pretty clearly that no I cant. So I've been looking for ways to get around the problems I have to face and have recently found things that are actually working for once.
I'll share some things I've found over this past year of misery that can help anybody, even if you aren't in my special circumstances:
1. On productivity:
pretend motivation does not exist. it will not get you though life. treat it as a sometimes thing, because it is.
discipline also is not the entire answer to productivity, but a byproduct, because how are you going to start building new habits? how do you start having discipline in the first place if it has to be trained?
True productivity is a change in your lifestyle and surroundings. By default we are like water, or electricity - taking the path of least resistance, its the way everything works in nature. if you want something to get done, skip the thinking about doing it, make it the easy thing to do, the only choice.
if you have to make a decision, there's a chance you will never start.
2. The strongest motivators are the short term ones. if the reward or punishment is too far in the future, even if you think rationally about it, it will never register as strongly as short term ones. If I had to rank it would be like this: Instant gratification > instant punishment > delayed punishment > delayed gratification. this is the reason that addiction is a thing. monkey brain is stronger than your rational thought.
3. Don't make changes to your life too fast. start slow and barely outside your comfort zone. if you ever find yourself in the kind of hole I'm in, trying to just jump out of it will not work, you will either never reach the top or if you do get out you could easily just fall back in. you have to work to build a permanent staircase that you can use in the future.
4. If you are like me and hate to-do lists with a passion, but really need them, try out Habitica Its an interactive to-do list that does more than be an intimidating list of deadlines that you never want to look at or add to. it give you a reason to open it up other than "I have to" it might be a bit cringe to turn a to-do list into a game, but its working for me so far and there's a decent sized community there, though I haven't gotten into it much.
5. If you ever tell anyone "just do it" as advice or "motivation": you are the scum of the earth.
I'll share some things I've found over this past year of misery that can help anybody, even if you aren't in my special circumstances:
1. On productivity:
pretend motivation does not exist. it will not get you though life. treat it as a sometimes thing, because it is.
discipline also is not the entire answer to productivity, but a byproduct, because how are you going to start building new habits? how do you start having discipline in the first place if it has to be trained?
True productivity is a change in your lifestyle and surroundings. By default we are like water, or electricity - taking the path of least resistance, its the way everything works in nature. if you want something to get done, skip the thinking about doing it, make it the easy thing to do, the only choice.
if you have to make a decision, there's a chance you will never start.
2. The strongest motivators are the short term ones. if the reward or punishment is too far in the future, even if you think rationally about it, it will never register as strongly as short term ones. If I had to rank it would be like this: Instant gratification > instant punishment > delayed punishment > delayed gratification. this is the reason that addiction is a thing. monkey brain is stronger than your rational thought.
3. Don't make changes to your life too fast. start slow and barely outside your comfort zone. if you ever find yourself in the kind of hole I'm in, trying to just jump out of it will not work, you will either never reach the top or if you do get out you could easily just fall back in. you have to work to build a permanent staircase that you can use in the future.
4. If you are like me and hate to-do lists with a passion, but really need them, try out Habitica Its an interactive to-do list that does more than be an intimidating list of deadlines that you never want to look at or add to. it give you a reason to open it up other than "I have to" it might be a bit cringe to turn a to-do list into a game, but its working for me so far and there's a decent sized community there, though I haven't gotten into it much.
5. If you ever tell anyone "just do it" as advice or "motivation": you are the scum of the earth.
so your calling 90% of the osu community scum eh,other than number 5,the rest i can somewhat agree withWitherMite wrote:
I'm coming to terms with the fact that due to my circumstances, which i wont get into here, I have to do things differently than most people do. Even though I feel as if I should be able to do the all same things as "normal" people, this past year has shown me pretty clearly that no I cant. So I've been looking for ways to get around the problems I have to face and have recently found things that are actually working for once.
I'll share some things I've found over this past year of misery that can help anybody, even if you aren't in my special circumstances:
1. On productivity:
pretend motivation does not exist. it will not get you though life. treat it as a sometimes thing, because it is.
discipline also is not the entire answer to productivity, but a byproduct, because how are you going to start building new habits? how do you start having discipline in the first place if it has to be trained?
True productivity is a change in your lifestyle and surroundings. By default we are like water, or electricity - taking the path of least resistance, its the way everything works in nature. if you want something to get done, skip the thinking about doing it, make it the easy thing to do, the only choice.
if you have to make a decision, there's a chance you will never start.
2. The strongest motivators are the short term ones. if the reward or punishment is too far in the future, even if you think rationally about it, it will never register as strongly as short term ones. If I had to rank it would be like this: Instant gratification > instant punishment > delayed punishment > delayed gratification. this is the reason that addiction is a thing. monkey brain is stronger than your rational thought.
3. Don't make changes to your life too fast. start slow and barely outside your comfort zone. if you ever find yourself in the kind of hole I'm in, trying to just jump out of it will not work, you will either never reach the top or if you do get out you could easily just fall back in. you have to work to build a permanent staircase that you can use in the future.
4. If you are like me and hate to-do lists with a passion, but really need them, try out Habitica Its an interactive to-do list that does more than be an intimidating list of deadlines that you never want to look at or add to. it give you a reason to open it up other than "I have to" it might be a bit cringe to turn a to-do list into a game, but its working for me so far and there's a decent sized community there, though I haven't gotten into it much.
5. If you ever tell anyone "just do it" as advice or "motivation": you are the scum of the earth.
not sure what you're getting at with this?animesquadgp wrote:
so your calling 90% of the osu community scum eh,other than number 5,the rest i can somewhat agree with
if youre talking about the play more thing. thats not what I mean, thats different. telling someone to "just do it" dosent fix anything, its the equivalent of the whole "youre depressed? just be happy" thing. Its toxic positivity, and can hurt someone when they dont meet the expectations their selves and others put on them.
play more on the other hand is about the fact that to improve at a task like playing osu you have to play the game, there isnt anything we can tell you that will make you better immediately without knowing more about what youre having trouble with.
you want to run fast or far? go run.
you want to draw well? draw something.
if the question is too generic there isnt a good answer.
that is very different from telling someone their struggles arent real.
What I was doing 3 years ago.
I posted this in my freshman year of high school. keremaru wrote:
well actually, this is a bit less of what i've done to better myself, and more of a realization of what it is i'm doing that should be fixed sooner or later.
so because i like to play online games a bunch (play pokemon mmos, not the shitty ones, and osu), i started to notice that my grades aren't really looking up for the best right now. and at home, i'm starting to lack on my chores, which is supposed to help me "build up responsibility".
i always disregarded what my mom said about "you're going to have to take care of yourself when you grow up" and thought that if i could get good enough at competitive esport games that i could join a team, i'd do it, but i realize that there has to be some sort of a stepping stone for me to achieve that goal. and now that i'm not really focused on trying to play games like league of legends or rocket league, i'm a bit more skeptical to how my future is going to paint itself out. because i'm only 14 years old, i still don't have a good grasp on how my life is going to be in 4 years, or when i graduate. more like "if", at this point.
so i might start playing less games (10 hours or more per day as of right now), and focus more on my education rather than how i'm going to figure out how i would do 6k muscle memories on osu!mania. i might also take myself more seriously, because at this point in my life, i'm only eating lunch most of the days of the week, and i rarely drink water/liquids, and i wake up somewhat earlier than the rest of my family. thinking about how i'm going to do this, i might have to lose some of my online "friends" (quotations because i'm not sure anymore), but i practically died on discord. i didn't want to, but real life called, and i'm contemplating what would have happened if i still could use discord. as i type this, i wonder what could have been if i didn't die on discord, if i, i don't know, didn't leave. now, i didn't leave, technically, but i feel like there's a part of me that's missing, and the part that has an open gap in it is sucking out all the interest that i ever had in any subject that i liked doing, like drawing, or learning hiragana and katakana. and now, i feel like i don't even know myself anymore. i'm practically losing myself when i wake up everyday, waiting for the inevitable end of my online life. someday, and i don't know when, i'm going to lose interest in everything that i found fun, that i found, interesting. and after a few years, i'll be signing papers in some rundown office building, with each phase of my life slowly passing by, mocking me for "what could have been."
now this post sounds more like a sad life story than what i've done to better myself.
It's my senior year.
When I made this post, I had no idea what I was going to spiral into in the future. I figured that I would probably just live a quiet life, get a job when I was sixteen, and just live life normally.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
It's been three years since that post, and lots of things have happened. I had a pseudo-girlfriend (pseudo because she was manipulative and avoidant in retrospect), I got to go back home, Hawaii, a few times annually, but the biggest thing I had to come face-to-face with was my mental instability. At least a year after that post, I admitted at school that I was having suicidal thoughts and actions, and straight up confessed that I wanted to end my life. This was the shallow sand of what would eventually flood into an abyss, and I was at the forefront of that situation. I didn't know what to expect, what to do, and most importantly, how I would recover. I had several years of self-imposed guilt, a lack of feeling for anything that I genuinely wanted to care for, and I just didn't feel like my life was worth living through. Worst of all, the advice that I gave people to get through their traumas just didn't work for me because of contradictive anxiety. Any and every tactic that I employed for others and reserved in my planning binder just utterly failed when faced up against me and my self-loathing brain. When I told myself that everything was okay, I knew it wasn't. When I told myself to breathe, I started hyperventilating and panicking, because those were tactics that I used with people that I knew those tactics would work on. But I never bothered to think of myself, because I was always so busy and worried about caring for others. That's the problem with supports; you either need one super good support main, or you need two to reciprocate off of each other and help the team. I was in both situations at the same time. I was supporting everyone that I knew in the best way that I knew how, but I didn't learn how to heal myself; and ultimately, my tactics were nothing more than false teachings that I built off of a foundation of hope; that my comfort would be able to heal my friends to the point that what I comforted them with would inevitably heal me.
It wasn't.
I've gone to two different psych wards in the course of that period of time. To this day, I take medication to make sure that I never go back into that pit again, but I also have to stay on top of my school priorities, like I used to back in freshman year. It's nothing much, nowadays, but it can definitely stockpile.
For osu!, I don't play for performance points. I never really felt like I did. I typically only play, and ever played, for recognition. It wasn't really possible in osu!standard or osu!mania, because everyone and their grandma plays those, but I felt it was easier in the other two; osu!taiko and osu!catch. Catch especially, because literally nobody touches it as a gamemode. FCs, leaderboards, the amount of plays I'd have to achieve in order to really make it onto those leaderboards. It kind of surprises me how I haven't gotten the Jack of All Trades achievement yet. Gotta bump those taiko plays up.
TL;DR, the past 3 years have had their ups and downs. From suicidal thoughts, to getting jebaited by a girl who led me on for almost 2 years, I don't feel like my story would ever be complete this early on. This isn't a comparison or a flex of any kind to how hard my life is compared to yours. I can never imagine, replicate nor top what anyone has to go through. But I can share my personal story and hope that it grounds my life. Until the next time that I post here.
ケレ♡
Well, lately some crazy stuff has been happening to me and such, so this may be a lot different in 2-3 years.
Almost in High School, it's kind of giving me anxiety. I'm currently not gonna be so active online and such for a while, which means I'll rarely be on the forums and stuff which I'd find better for me. I mainly have decided to stay in my room most of the day doing stuff, come down to eat regularly and maybe talk a bit in a conversation or two. I'm a mainly very quiet person, not to start or even speak in a conversation, so I'd find me mainly just enjoying my life more in my room talking to people online a bit and vibing to stuff. Not being the best socializer, staying quiet most of the time actually has been making me feel better. I'm a bit of an artist and a good writer and such, so if I ever feel bad or just wrong I write or draw my feelings and rarely share them. To the people I share them to it's only really my closest friends and special people to me that I know will talk to me about it and help. I decide to not talk to the people I don't feel comfortable around, just ignoring anything they say to me, even if that seems rude.
About Osu! I've kinda just gotten out of the game really, not having as much fun as normal. I used to always try to go up in ranked and quit if I never got a Full Combo and 98.00% at the LEAST and try to play 4.5* in taiko, but always over whelmed myself while trying to. I've lowered down to a at the most an Full Combo and a 89.00-97.00% maybe. Just trying not to do anything that would make me feel over whelmed and such.
About my personal life in a whole, I'd rather not talk about it 'cause of some things, but it's going better than I'd find it to be then before. I'm just more happy and such then I was.. I'd say.. 2 years ago. Thank you for reading this ^^
Almost in High School, it's kind of giving me anxiety. I'm currently not gonna be so active online and such for a while, which means I'll rarely be on the forums and stuff which I'd find better for me. I mainly have decided to stay in my room most of the day doing stuff, come down to eat regularly and maybe talk a bit in a conversation or two. I'm a mainly very quiet person, not to start or even speak in a conversation, so I'd find me mainly just enjoying my life more in my room talking to people online a bit and vibing to stuff. Not being the best socializer, staying quiet most of the time actually has been making me feel better. I'm a bit of an artist and a good writer and such, so if I ever feel bad or just wrong I write or draw my feelings and rarely share them. To the people I share them to it's only really my closest friends and special people to me that I know will talk to me about it and help. I decide to not talk to the people I don't feel comfortable around, just ignoring anything they say to me, even if that seems rude.
About Osu! I've kinda just gotten out of the game really, not having as much fun as normal. I used to always try to go up in ranked and quit if I never got a Full Combo and 98.00% at the LEAST and try to play 4.5* in taiko, but always over whelmed myself while trying to. I've lowered down to a at the most an Full Combo and a 89.00-97.00% maybe. Just trying not to do anything that would make me feel over whelmed and such.
About my personal life in a whole, I'd rather not talk about it 'cause of some things, but it's going better than I'd find it to be then before. I'm just more happy and such then I was.. I'd say.. 2 years ago. Thank you for reading this ^^
I've been pushing myself to be more active, lifting weights and doing intense cardio in my room after work even when I'm tired. Making sure my surroundings are organized, treating myself if I feel like I deserve it, just overall being kinder to my being and more aware of my health. I've also been picky about who I surround myself with, who I give my love and attention to. My friend group has shifted dramatically in the last 6 months, but I can honestly say I'm feeling far more lighthearted.
That means you bad at that carrier change your work,Lol This Intense of psychology broker.
Join military, raise a daughter, become big money big osu
I started meditation and since then I feel much better. I also forced myself to do more sports and go to the gym even though I was tired at night.
I've started dieting about a month ago and lost about 12 pounds. Also I'm returning to college this fall after putting it off for so many years.
things ive done to change my self was getting rid of the toxic friends i had in my life and started to work out again
started working out again
I've been playing guitar, particularly in the Bossa Nova genre for a year or two now.
idk really mostly i just eat so i get better and just socialize
Started a vault with https://obsidian.md/ - going to use it to record things daily, and as a "second brain" where I dump all the information I get when I go on content sponge sprees. Been setting up my organization scheme the past few days and learning the program.
Hoping this helps me with my executive dysfunction by externalizing my thoughts and allowing me to get into a flow of just planning and making schedules instead of getting stuck between thinking and doing. If I can stick to it, it will also be nice to be able to come back to topics I hyperfocused on in the past and refresh myself without doing all that research again. Plus its an opportunity to actually learn how to effectively study, never really had to do it in school.
Hoping this helps me with my executive dysfunction by externalizing my thoughts and allowing me to get into a flow of just planning and making schedules instead of getting stuck between thinking and doing. If I can stick to it, it will also be nice to be able to come back to topics I hyperfocused on in the past and refresh myself without doing all that research again. Plus its an opportunity to actually learn how to effectively study, never really had to do it in school.