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How do I be bad at osu?

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Vuelo Eluko

monstrata wrote:

BRBP wrote:

Mute hitsounds and keep video enabled to see and hear all the weeb shit better.
The way you say it, muting hitsounds is bad?

Whelp, .____.
it is...

anyone who progresses slower than me is doing something horribly wrong, you turning off hitsounds for example
KagamiHRS
Switch your handedness! Set universal offset to dozens of ms!
nooblet
Start playing with one of those red button mice found on Lenovo/IBM laptops.
Tap with your pinky/ring fingers. Upside down.
Play with smallest possible area/highest possible DPI with the monitor as far away as possible.

Guess I won't list impossible stuff like turning your monitor around or playing blindfolded.
Kukuthemoogle
Play with a pc controller, but use your feet.
DarkKanaki
Play like me. o/
rev3rsor

nooblet wrote:

Start playing with one of those red button mice found on Lenovo/IBM laptops.
Believe it or not, I tried once.
I think I got an A on an easy/normal map. iirc I missed the spinner.
You could go my way and play trackpad...
silmarilen
use mouse keys and play keyboard only
Iceskulls
1.Play mute bigblack,freedom dive,scarlet rose
2.Button mashing from start to the end
3.Play with touchpad
Rewben2
Add an absurd universal offset
Volcanism
Turn your monitor off, 10/10 times you will fail within the first 5 seconds of a beatmap.

Though how would you know if your monitor is switched off?
B1rd
I must be special because I have this ability to do as bad as I want to without doing anything extra to make me play bad.
EasyMillions
Download osu!android
tollox
Here's some tips from the master:

1. Play on an uneven surface with your mouse (couch/the carpeted floor)
2. Play maps you have an 50-75% accuracy on about 90% of the time
3. Practice streaming by hitting both keys simultaneously as if you're singletapping
4. Lift your mouse slightly while spinning because it feels easier to move it fast
5. Do not figure out that there's an option to increase the framerate
6. Keep restarting and restarting over and over and over and over when there's just THIS ONE LITTLE PART WHERE YOU KEEP *%^&^$&$ MISSING
7. Concentrate heavily on your loneliness and your lack of purpose in life while you're mindlessly retrying
YukinoDesuDesu


hmm im surprised this wasnt posted yet
Vuelo Eluko

tollox wrote:

3. Practice streaming by hitting both keys simultaneously as if you're singletapping
lol this is actually kinda similar to the high bpm streaming technique ive heard people like happystick refer to

although its not simultaneous obviously, just that one finger carries the other one
Illkryn
Become me

I'm shit.
Makeruno
Turn the monitor or laptop the opposite where your facing....
A Medic
1) Take a Sheet of paper, blanket, towel etc.
2) Place it over your monitor.
3) take both your arms and handcuff them to your chair
4) use mouth to click mouse/control tablet pen/ etc
thatlaggynoob
Do whatever it is that I'm doing.
Kaeru
1. Play only easy/normal/hard difficulties.
2. Delete all challenging maps that you have no chance of passing and pretend they don't exist.
3. Believe that a tablet is the only way to play this game.
4. Adjust your mouse DPI to 6000+ to accommodate for not having a tablet and then have the worst aim in Osu! history.
5. Complain about how hard the game is and how much you suck at it and spend 90% of your time in #osu.

You'll be on your way to being a terrible Osu! player in no time.. :P
[ Stellar ]

Kaeru wrote:

1. Play only easy/normal/hard difficulties.
2. Delete all challenging maps that you have no chance of passing and pretend they don't exist.
3. Believe that a tablet is the only way to play this game.
4. Adjust your mouse DPI to 6000+ to accommodate for not having a tablet and then have the worst aim in Osu! history.
5. Complain about how hard the game is and how much you suck at it and spend 90% of your time in #osu.

You'll be on your way to being a terrible Osu! player in no time.. :P

Number 1 is actually how you get good at osu.
Most people start play the game with ludicrous insanes, and they wonder why they aren't getting better.
silmarilen

[ Stellar ] wrote:

Kaeru wrote:

1. Play only easy/normal/hard difficulties.
2. Delete all challenging maps that you have no chance of passing and pretend they don't exist.
3. Believe that a tablet is the only way to play this game.
4. Adjust your mouse DPI to 6000+ to accommodate for not having a tablet and then have the worst aim in Osu! history.
5. Complain about how hard the game is and how much you suck at it and spend 90% of your time in #osu.

You'll be on your way to being a terrible Osu! player in no time.. :P

Number 1 is actually how you get good at osu.
Most people start play the game with ludicrous insanes, and they wonder why they aren't getting better.
no, number 1 helps you get the basics, actually becomming good comes from playing insanes
Kaeru
If you notice I said "only" easy/normal/hard difficulties. Of course it's good to play them when you're starting out, but you shouldn't play only those difficulties. I know people that have played for like a year and they seem to have not even played a single insane map in their life. Besides, you can learn the basics from insane maps too. Some hard difficulty maps I've played are even harder than insane songs.
Cocaine dog
I think it would be better if you called this, " How do I feel bad at Osu! ? " or something
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