damn i think this is the best place to say this, therapists here in my country dont't really understand this issue and my family and friends just think it's lame.

i really hate growing up, not because the childhood, the adult responsibility or having a job... i hate it because i can't keep doing what makes me happy, playing games because of their difficulty or how fast they are.

i used to play Mania 4k a lot back in highschool (i used to live with my dad and he is a very unreasonable person and a bad parent) and i really didn't had the time or money to enjoy "modern" games (at the moment ps4, xbox one), it wasn't until i went to another home when i really had the chance to play stuff people in my shool bragged about, so when i got a laptop (a very bad laptop indeed) i started with osu and mania because i really liked the speed of the game... long story short, it took me like 2 years to get good at 2* star maps, and consistenly playing for a year to reach 6* maps.

now i have a full job, i go to college and i really miss playing at my 100, when my stamina was amazing my acc was still something i was working to get better and my speed, oh lord i miss being able to process to many notes on a screen...

i also used to play a lot of fighting games, but... i don't have enought time to relearn to play Mania as i used to do, i can't learn to play other games i really i'm interested to play, i can't do a lot of stuff inreally want to do.

i miss everything it mean to me to have a had time learning to play a pattern, to do a combo. im getting incredibly depressed for this, and people i talked about this just think this isn't big shit, and it's hard because i just feel alone.

please, what can i do, i tried to play games solely for the story but it's lame and boring, i really love the conpetitive nature of getting better at something, but having college and a full time job at the same time just fucked up my entire life, happiness and time.

i have my priorities on, but shit, this is really to depressing.

Human life changes, huh?

You might find something you will enjoy again. Baking, learn to code, drawing, reading stuff, gardening, etc. That might fill your void that once were osu did.

Play stuff in multi with your friends (preferrably your real life friends). Might help

bananahira wrote:

damn i think this is the best place to say this, therapists here in my country dont't really understand this issue and my family and friends just think it's lame.

i really hate growing up, not because the childhood, the adult responsibility or having a job... i hate it because i can't keep doing what makes me happy, playing games because of their difficulty or how fast they are.

i used to play Mania 4k a lot back in highschool (i used to live with my dad and he is a very unreasonable person and a bad parent) and i really didn't had the time or money to enjoy "modern" games (at the moment ps4, xbox one), it wasn't until i went to another home when i really had the chance to play stuff people in my shool bragged about, so when i got a laptop (a very bad laptop indeed) i started with osu and mania because i really liked the speed of the game... long story short, it took me like 2 years to get good at 2* star maps, and consistenly playing for a year to reach 6* maps.

now i have a full job, i go to college and i really miss playing at my 100, when my stamina was amazing my acc was still something i was working to get better and my speed, oh lord i miss being able to process to many notes on a screen...

i also used to play a lot of fighting games, but... i don't have enought time to relearn to play Mania as i used to do, i can't learn to play other games i really i'm interested to play, i can't do a lot of stuff inreally want to do.

i miss everything it mean to me to have a had time learning to play a pattern, to do a combo. im getting incredibly depressed for this, and people i talked about this just think this isn't big shit, and it's hard because i just feel alone.

please, what can i do, i tried to play games solely for the story but it's lame and boring, i really love the conpetitive nature of getting better at something, but having college and a full time job at the same time just fucked up my entire life, happiness and time.

i have my priorities on, but shit, this is really to depressing.

I am a competitive person myself. I have worried a lot about time and how life will change, but that doesn't mean I was limited to other things.
I would stress a lot about just time really, big mistake. But I got over it and found something else to do.
It is computer science, and this is something I will focus on in college. I am sure there will be more stuff along the way as well.
I'm not in college yet, but I am sure that I will do just fine. I followed my own interests going in.

So, as Nanofranne said, you will find something new to enjoy, maybe.

You might be near a burnout at this rate. Having college AND a full-time job is something that not many people could handle but that sadly is becoming a more common option for some of the people I know, in which eventually, most end up dropping one or the other. Don't feel bad for not doing as good as you used to when you basically have no free time to play competitively. Try doing something that does not demand much time or dedication.

try time management strategies that will give you more time in your day, i haven't tried it myself since i have a lot of time on me but apparently scheduling apps can help, try minimising time spent doing nothing but dont be too hard on yourself if you fail at first

if competitive gaming is important to you, thats perfectly okay, you can cut back on other stuff to make more time for it (for example social media) but make sure you maintain time for work, sleep, etc.

this is all coming from an inexperienced person so take my advice with a grain of salt, good luck <3

bananahira wrote:

damn i think this is the best place to say this, therapists here in my country dont't really understand this issue and my family and friends just think it's lame.

i really hate growing up, not because the childhood, the adult responsibility or having a job... i hate it because i can't keep doing what makes me happy, playing games because of their difficulty or how fast they are.

i used to play Mania 4k a lot back in highschool (i used to live with my dad and he is a very unreasonable person and a bad parent) and i really didn't had the time or money to enjoy "modern" games (at the moment ps4, xbox one), it wasn't until i went to another home when i really had the chance to play stuff people in my shool bragged about, so when i got a laptop (a very bad laptop indeed) i started with osu and mania because i really liked the speed of the game... long story short, it took me like 2 years to get good at 2* star maps, and consistenly playing for a year to reach 6* maps.

now i have a full job, i go to college and i really miss playing at my 100, when my stamina was amazing my acc was still something i was working to get better and my speed, oh lord i miss being able to process to many notes on a screen...

i also used to play a lot of fighting games, but... i don't have enought time to relearn to play Mania as i used to do, i can't learn to play other games i really i'm interested to play, i can't do a lot of stuff inreally want to do.

i miss everything it mean to me to have a had time learning to play a pattern, to do a combo. im getting incredibly depressed for this, and people i talked about this just think this isn't big shit, and it's hard because i just feel alone.

please, what can i do, i tried to play games solely for the story but it's lame and boring, i really love the conpetitive nature of getting better at something, but having college and a full time job at the same time just fucked up my entire life, happiness and time.

i have my priorities on, but shit, this is really to depressing.

Just do something else that interests you slightly for now and I say slightly because it's easier to transition into that then to transition to it then doing nothing at all because with depression, its hard to feel good about anything right? So take it slow and try that out for some time. Eventually after like 2 months or so, you'll likely get interested in the things you used to be interested in all over again after you come back to them. Have fun!

2 months in the future

i feel like hank from breaking bad after the salamanca's got him disabled, im sad, i kinda changed everything i enjoyed for comic collecting and i dont feel nice at all, i've been trying to play Pump It Up but i can only do it once a week bc of my schedule.

nominomu wrote:

try time management strategies that will give you more time in your day, i haven't tried it myself since i have a lot of time on me but apparently scheduling apps can help, try minimising time spent doing nothing but dont be too hard on yourself if you fail at first

if competitive gaming is important to you, thats perfectly okay, you can cut back on other stuff to make more time for it (for example social media) but make sure you maintain time for work, sleep, etc.

this is all coming from an inexperienced person so take my advice with a grain of salt, good luck <3

Time management does not work as i wish i would bc the only moments im "free" at home are mornings before and nights after work, so i cant make any noise with my mechanical keyboard, im getting really depressed any time i imagine myself playing Mortal Kombat or mania, i've been trying also UMVSC3 but the competitive nature of the game is alredy explored deeply, so getting on will take me years (i kinda lear everything i like from youtube tutorials and practice)

Nuuskamuikkunen wrote:

You might be near a burnout at this rate. Having college AND a full-time job is something that not many people could handle but that sadly is becoming a more common option for some of the people I know, in which eventually, most end up dropping one or the other. Don't feel bad for not doing as good as you used to when you basically have no free time to play competitively. Try doing something that does not demand much time or dedication.

it is really a bad idea getting out of college with a degree, but no credit score (bank stuff), and work experience, so im already on the burnout

i still cant figure out what can make me feel joy, i tried anything theres on my hands and i really miss the old times

bananahira wrote:

what can i do, i tried to play games solely for the story but it's lame and boring

that's an skill issue that's bascially the only thing that I play

I do like games with a story, but I have a soft-spot for games like Valheim which lets me create my own kind of story.
Even Skyrim, despite having a story, has so far been really immersive.

Ymir wrote:

I do like games with a story, but I have a soft-spot for games like Valheim which lets me create my own kind of story.
Even Skyrim, despite having a story, has so far been really immersive.

tbf skyrim mostly sucks



returning to the original topic. These are just stages of life, i'm sure you will find a way to live that stage of your life happily, I don't know how, i'm not you. But I really hope you do