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Advice?

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Total Posts
32
Bridgette_old_1
4 posts
Joined February 2014
Topic Starter
Bridgette_old_1
I'm not really sure where to put this so, I'm really sorry if I misplaced this topic.

Anyway, as stated above, I need advice. Currently, this year was unexpectedly the worst year in my life so far. Let me start this off that I've been bullied, laughed at, teased a lot, gossiped about, and picked on, even by the school staff and teachers. I had enough with struggling and dealing with all the hate and mean, hurtful comments that I've decided to transfer schools. There is a few problems though. You see, I'm socially awkward, shy, and really nervous when it comes to meeting new people in real life. I also have glossophobia and low self-esteem( always thinking that others are way better than me. ) Of course, it wouldn't be a problem if I transferred back to my old school where I was actually treated fairly and not like some kind of mutated pig but, that's not the case.

Anyway, I'm transferring to an entirely different school and I'm really nervous about what people would think of me. I mean, its the middle of the school year and everybody is already content with their friends so I highly doubt they would open arms to me and welcome me to sit with them at lunch, join them in an activity, etc... I'm just afraid people would push me away and act like I'm some non-existent fantasy character. Honestly, I'm only transferring because I don't want to experience any more of the emotional torment in the school I'm currently in. I just don't want it to be the same to the school I'm transferring to. So my question is, what do I do? How do I overcome being really shy and nervous? How do I make friends?

Hee hee, thank you for reading this also, sorry if I asked this in the wrong place.
Quaraezha
1,491 posts
Joined February 2011
Quaraezha
https://osu.ppy.sh/forum/t/104916
Bweh
486 posts
Joined September 2012
Bweh
http://osu.ppy.sh/forum/t/104916&start=0

Bridgette wrote:

How do I make friends?
By trying.

Right here in college I made friends with an entire suite at my dorm because I didn't like half of the people at mine. I just walked down the usual hallway to my suite, except instead of walking further down I just took the first one on the right. There was a guy listening to music lying on the common area's couch. He looked to me, probably too nervous to actually say anything as I walked over to a chair on the other side of the room and started reading my good old copy of the Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Twenty minutes went by, probably the twenty most awkward minutes of music the guy went through in his life, where then I got up and walked away.

Did the same thing every few days until I met everyone else at the suite. Got to do everything with them; from hiking and attending mass, to playing Brawl and watching Jojo.

Now we're preparing a surprise birthday party for the music guy.


In other words, stop hesitating you useless bean, there's no trick to it except learning proper social cues and not being an imbecile
South
201 posts
Joined July 2012
South
come chill in the chat channle #english, ill be your friend if im on :3
Last edited by South , edited 1 time in total.
Ceph23
687 posts
Joined September 2013
Ceph23
There really is no secret to making friends man.

I remember my sophomore year when I had to transfer schools in the middle of the year because of my dad's work. During the first few weeks I was the guy who was physically there but never really had a presence. I said nothing that would draw attention to me nor did I force myself to make friends. I just did my own thing.

One day there was this group of friends who were all talking near my desk during break time. I could hear their conversation and I could relate, but I didn't join in the conversation because that would a be a totally grade B dick move. Then this girl comes near me asked me what I thought. I guess she saw that I could relate to what they were taking about, so I gave her my honest opinion, being careful of not looking like a complete idiot in the process. One thing led to another and I ended up with a small group of friends that lasted throughout high school. I wasn't popular, but I was happy.

I guess what I'm saying is that you shouldn't look to impress anyone and just talk to people who introduce themselves to you. It really isn't that hard.
Just don't say anything that would otherwise make you look like a dick. Play nice.
DaddyCoolVipper
342 posts
Joined July 2012
DaddyCoolVipper
I'd say it's mainly confidence, to be honest. High self-esteem = confidence. People'll like you a lot more, and you won't be singled out as being "weak".
UnderminE
osu! Alumni
4,011 posts
Joined August 2010
UnderminE
do sports
Bridgette_old_1
4 posts
Joined February 2014
Topic Starter
Bridgette_old_1
Oh, it was suppose to go to the Confess thread? Sorry about that.

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who offered advice. I appreciate it heavily.
Second, there are a few questions in my head. 'How do I get rid of the fears of being judged by others?' is one of them.

Is it plausible to wait a bit and barely mutter a peep on my first day as a transfer student? Like, so I can observe which groups of people seem friendly, which aren't, the funny ones, the drama/gossip ones, sporty ones, artsy, etc... Forgive me, I'm really shy. I just came up with this method right now. I need ideas on how to get rid of my stage-fright/shyness. Its affecting my life now and will continue to in the future if I don't act on it.

Also, I think of myself as a really nice person. I don't go around insulting or spreading rumors around people. I don't break my promises too.
So... I guess I need to raise my confidence...?

Thank you so much for the people who posted & offered advice. ♥
Weed
506 posts
Joined May 2013
Weed
since you'll be new people will be more willing to help out and be your friend. use that to your advantage and just try to make some friends ASAP. if you're shy now you'll likely be shy in the near future so there isn't really a magical way to overcome it. just try to have confidence and go in with an idgaf attitude
Shellghost
543 posts
Joined March 2009
Shellghost
I just convince myself that I'm better than them and me being around them is their privilege.

Works for me.
Bweh
486 posts
Joined September 2012
Bweh

Shellghost wrote:

I just convince myself that I'm better than them and me being around them is their privilege.

Works for me.
Good man.
Cyclohexane
osu! Alumni
4,568 posts
Joined May 2009
Cyclohexane
I don't mind having this thread but it might be locked very quickly if people are assholes
DaddyCoolVipper
342 posts
Joined July 2012
DaddyCoolVipper

Bridgette wrote:


Is it plausible to wait a bit and barely mutter a peep on my first day as a transfer student? Like, so I can observe which groups of people seem friendly, which aren't, the funny ones, the drama/gossip ones, sporty ones, artsy, etc.

As said above- you want to "go in with the idgaf attitude". People don't know you, but they're interested- you might have a better chance of making good friends now than if you had started from the first year.

And don't worry about fitting in with the people you want to hang out with, you'll be able to work that out quickly enough. The important thing is that you don't appear shy etc, at least not immediately- hold your head high, be a "leader"!

In other words, well... be normal, basically. Remember that you're worth something as a person.
NotEvenDoomMusic
377 posts
Joined May 2012
NotEvenDoomMusic

DaddyCoolVipper wrote:

As said above- you want to "go in with the idgaf attitude". People don't know you, but they're interested- you might have a better chance of making good friends now than if you had started from the first year.

And don't worry about fitting in with the people you want to hang out with, you'll be able to work that out quickly enough. The important thing is that you don't appear shy etc, at least not immediately- hold your head high, be a "leader"!

In other words, well... be normal, basically. Remember that you're worth something as a person.
dadvice
laport
1,239 posts
Joined June 2010
laport
I will advice you not to take advice from strangers
Ephemeral
Inland Empire
3,936 posts
Joined April 2009
Ephemeral

laport wrote:

I will advice you not to take advice from strangers
^

be your goddamn self and everything will be fine

or it wont in which case nothing you could have done would have changed anything anyway
Quaraezha
1,491 posts
Joined February 2011
Quaraezha

laport wrote:

I will advice you not to take advice from strangers
Quite the Paradox, considering that Bridgette and laport are strangers
Following his advice is exactly what you shouldn't do according to his advice.
Zeraph
266 posts
Joined September 2012
Zeraph
a good piece of advice.

don't care about what anyone else thinks of you. it should help you deal with your low self-esteem.

where did people learn to take negative unproductive criticism to heart? anyone who gets offended by people over the internet or irl that you are not acquainted with is fucking retarded.
mathexpert
1,699 posts
Joined March 2011
mathexpert

Zeraph wrote:

anyone who gets offended by people over the internet or irl that you are not acquainted with is fucking retarded.
I-I hate you, zeraph! I'm not retarded, you big meanie ;~;
Bridgette_old_1
4 posts
Joined February 2014
Topic Starter
Bridgette_old_1
Wow, in only a matter of days a serious topic turned into a fun-filled carnival joke.
Kyaaaah, honestly this community is so fun~.

You guys are right! I'm going to act confident and just be myself!
Thanks to everyone who offered advice. ❤️ c:
HanzeR
921 posts
Joined May 2012
HanzeR
u should try smoking weed (〜￣▽￣)〜
TakuMii
1,874 posts
Joined October 2009
TakuMii
winners don't do drugs
Yarissa
587 posts
Joined September 2010
Yarissa
Offtopic is probably the worst place you could go to for advice. I rarely to never seek serious replies here, but I do come here from time to time to vent my own problems (And idly chitchat/ contribute to this mess we call offtopic.)

But yeah I hope you were able to get some good advice out of this thread! がんばれ
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