Occifer, explain I can! I'm in a band called The Tile Cutters and I'm the keyboardist. Not much else to say here..
- a naked peppy
- a pot of curry
- a talking donkey
- a naked peppy
- a pot of curry
- a talking donkey
forum
Officer, I Can Explain!
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Total Posts
282
Err... officer I can explain... W-we were having supper at my house earlier tonight when my friend decided it would be a fun idea to slip in some Bhut Jolokias into our curry. I told him "that's not a good idea Peppy", but he wouldn't listen... he said this stuff will increase dexterity on the keyboard and enhance your eyesight... He took a bite and let out a small "halp" sound. So I went to fetch some water and when I turned around he had already lost all his clothes and headed to the bathroom, screaming. Turns out this stuff goes right through.
I called a doctor but said not to come cause a droplet of that sauce will burn a whole in the hospital floor - we need to cool him off in a lake.
Officer pleeeease can't you see my friend's eyes are turning into volcanoes... w-we need to go to the lake...
No no no, he's not on drugs.. I gave him that donkey puppet to distract him from distracting me - he's having his own conversation with it -says he needs to feed the donkey too. PLEASE!
In your car:
- A Hello Kitty vibrator
- A wedding cake
- A caged iguana
I called a doctor but said not to come cause a droplet of that sauce will burn a whole in the hospital floor - we need to cool him off in a lake.
Officer pleeeease can't you see my friend's eyes are turning into volcanoes... w-we need to go to the lake...
No no no, he's not on drugs.. I gave him that donkey puppet to distract him from distracting me - he's having his own conversation with it -says he needs to feed the donkey too. PLEASE!
In your car:
- A Hello Kitty vibrator
- A wedding cake
- A caged iguana
Officer let me explain. I work for an eccentric sex shop that specializes in custom items. A client of ours ordered a a wedding cake and asked us to put in a Hello Kitty vibrator in the cake once we got there, let me tell you, those weeabos are real weirdos if you ask me. The iguana comes standard from our "Cold blood-Warm Blood" package that our client ordered along with these two items. Here are the order slips......
- A picture of a poorly photoshoped Obama head on a topless body builder
- 3 wet lolis tied up together
- A pedobear inspirational poster
- A picture of a poorly photoshoped Obama head on a topless body builder
- 3 wet lolis tied up together
- A pedobear inspirational poster
We're having a bdsm party with underdeveloped women, wanna join in? Oh, the plastic? You gotta have some place to throw trash into, right?
A broken axe, empty shotgun shells, flashlight
A broken axe, empty shotgun shells, flashlight
Officer, i can explain! I was practicing my shooting and the douche of my brother threw my axe on purpose. The flashlight is because i was practicing late and i have to look for the pieces of my axe
a whip
an oppai
leather suit
a whip
an oppai
leather suit
Topic Starter
Officer, i can explain! Im going to play as a cowboy in a drama. So does the oppai is a fake for the drama play. Now would you mind getting out of my car officer?
A broken laptop
A tied man in your baggage
A Rocket Launcher
A broken laptop
A tied man in your baggage
A Rocket Launcher
"He's don't wnat to go to his birthday party because busy playing his laptop, so the only way is force him to go. Don't worry, that rocket launcher actually a firework."
A Bag
A Rope
90 Gold Bar @1KG
A Bag
A Rope
90 Gold Bar @1KG
I can explain officer, I was on a mining class and I got these gold. I used the bag and the rope for safety measures and gold storage
1. A katana
2. Ninja Outfiit
3. A AUG
1. A katana
2. Ninja Outfiit
3. A AUG
Oh hi officer! That's my cosplay outfit. Y'know, dressing up like people? Yeah, that's my hobby. And the AUG is my friend's. It's broken so I fixed it.
A box of donut
An A- blood pack
Some weed
A box of donut
An A- blood pack
Some weed
Topic Starter
Oh, Hi officer! I'm hungry now and is eating is against the law? The A- Blood pack is gonna be used for blood donor in a hospital im going. And the weed will be used for the drug rehab center. Now gtfo officer xD
A worn outfit
A Desert Eagle
5 Adorable Kitties in a bag.
A worn outfit
A Desert Eagle
5 Adorable Kitties in a bag.
Well you see officer, the desert eagle is just a harmless weapon it may look deadly but its not *wink *wink. As for the bag of kittens i found it in the girls bathroom, now your gonna ask why are you in the girls bathroom well thats a long story so we will skip that , i'm not a pervert or anything *wink *wink. The outfit is for my brother. Now that i answered everything will you pls get out of my car officer
A dead officer
A Bloody Knife
And a taco
A dead officer
A Bloody Knife
And a taco
Well, officer. This "dead" officer is actually a fake, and the knife was stained with fake blood.
oh, the taco? *grabs it and takes a bite*
A vibrator
A phone that keeps ringing
A grenade
oh, and you're a girl this time.
oh, the taco? *grabs it and takes a bite*
A vibrator
A phone that keeps ringing
A grenade
oh, and you're a girl this time.
well you see, officer, my friend somehow left it there after my home party yesterday so i'm giving it back to her
as for the phone, it's been like that since morning. i'm going to get it fixed at the service center as well
....did you really think it was a grenade? it's just a lighter shaped like one. see?
a head
a feet
a torso
as for the phone, it's been like that since morning. i'm going to get it fixed at the service center as well
....did you really think it was a grenade? it's just a lighter shaped like one. see?
a head
a feet
a torso
Omg Officer, it's not what you think.
I'm a pathologist, and I was doing an autopsy to a man who died in a strange situation, all we could retrieve from where he died are these parts of his body that you can see in my car.
Our microscopy just fell off and got broken, so I have to carry these man's parts to another medical building to continue the autopsy as fast as I can!
- A Shotgun
- Ammunition
- A photo of thelewa, with a cross on his forehead, drawn with blood.
I'm a pathologist, and I was doing an autopsy to a man who died in a strange situation, all we could retrieve from where he died are these parts of his body that you can see in my car.
Our microscopy just fell off and got broken, so I have to carry these man's parts to another medical building to continue the autopsy as fast as I can!
- A Shotgun
- Ammunition
- A photo of thelewa, with a cross on his forehead, drawn with blood.
Oh great
As you can see, the shotgun is a replica one. But not for the ammo, since my- no, our producer on an indie film wants the more realistic feeling.
The photo itself is fake.
- Critical Dude's crown
- A letter
- Guitar
As you can see, the shotgun is a replica one. But not for the ammo, since my- no, our producer on an indie film wants the more realistic feeling.
The photo itself is fake.
- Critical Dude's crown
- A letter
- Guitar
You see, Critical Dude's crown got lost because he actually doesn't pay attention, the letter came together with the crown saying "If lost, bring back to Critical Dude". Oh, the guitar is mine, I play it in my spare time.
- Mage Spear
- Imaginary Writer
- Sunglasses
- Mage Spear
- Imaginary Writer
- Sunglasses
Officer, the mage spear is just a prop because im going to a convention and im going to cosplay as >insert name<. You see imaginarywriter because he's coming along with me. The sunglasses are mine because dont you see how sunny it is?
- briefcase with real-looking money
- dozens of daggers and knives
- fort knox worker's ID pass
- briefcase with real-looking money
- dozens of daggers and knives
- fort knox worker's ID pass
Officer, I can explain! First with the money. The money is my pay from another high-paying job. The daggers and knives are for self defence, and the ID is for me working at Fort Knox!kynolenkun wrote:
- briefcase with real-looking money
- dozens of daggers and knives
- fort knox worker's ID pass
- An M4A1 Assault Rifle with Illegal attachments (Not a replica)
- 5 Diamond rings (Not fake)
- A mask
I found all these items hidden behind a bush so I decided to take it to a police station. I even called the police first!
Makeshift weapons.
Rope
Water.
Makeshift weapons.
Rope
Water.
Topic Starter
Gonna make this thread alive again! Hopefully someone will continue.
=========================================
Umm officer, the makeshift weapon are for my school projects. Its also not loaded with ammos. The rope will be used to tie my stuffs for holiday. And the water? Duhh officer. Stay hidrated! OK! Bye!
- a yellow suit
- a wig
- 3 Fake Passport
=========================================
Umm officer, the makeshift weapon are for my school projects. Its also not loaded with ammos. The rope will be used to tie my stuffs for holiday. And the water? Duhh officer. Stay hidrated! OK! Bye!
- a yellow suit
- a wig
- 3 Fake Passport
Officer I can explain! The yellow suit and wig is for a cosplay contest! The 3 fake passports; we want to prank our friend that we will go to USA!
- a death body behind your truck
- a half broken crowbar
- a phone keeps ringing near the phone
- a death body behind your truck
- a half broken crowbar
- a phone keeps ringing near the phone
That body over there?
That's my drunk friend sleeping, haha!!
The crowbar is purely decorational, I swear!
Aaand the phone... It's broken.
...Yeaaah.
- A vibrator
- 666 tissues
- A dakimakura
That's my drunk friend sleeping, haha!!
The crowbar is purely decorational, I swear!
Aaand the phone... It's broken.
...Yeaaah.
- A vibrator
- 666 tissues
- A dakimakura
this
ah yes this is my mothers day present, um, yeah
body pillow with loli
enough ramen to last you 4 months
katana
ah yes this is my mothers day present, um, yeah
body pillow with loli
enough ramen to last you 4 months
katana
i come from the holy nippon, i swear!!
69 sex tapes
300 condoms
25 strap on dildos
69 sex tapes
300 condoms
25 strap on dildos
I was throwing a massive orgy man!
1000kg of weed
10tons of crystal meth
Chloroform and duct tape
1000kg of weed
10tons of crystal meth
Chloroform and duct tape
my mom mad e me do i t i s wea r
a duck
human organs
surgical mask
a duck
human organs
surgical mask
I was making a duck/human hybrid cyborg I swear! The other parts are at my laboratory!
worst fl player
What items
A mexican
Another mexican
Yet another mexican
A mexican
Another mexican
Yet another mexican
bringin these guys in 4 donal trumpo yo
chemicals
a book titled " how 2 meth"
a clown mask
chemicals
a book titled " how 2 meth"
a clown mask
It is for a legit experiment
Most of the letters are deleted.It is actually: "How 2 keep the Mental Healthy"
It is for the upcoming Halloween Party
a Baseball Bat
a few wall sprays
a package that contains something white-dusty thing.
Most of the letters are deleted.It is actually: "How 2 keep the Mental Healthy"
It is for the upcoming Halloween Party
a Baseball Bat
a few wall sprays
a package that contains something white-dusty thing.
I only want to have the Scout from TF2 to sign my bat with those sprays (maybe the amount of color liquid in each spray is quite... well).
You don't know that "Pocket Sand" gag? Since I can't get sand around this city, I rather use flour for such purposes.
Framed glasses [broken part: the glasses]
A wrench
A round doorknob
You don't know that "Pocket Sand" gag? Since I can't get sand around this city, I rather use flour for such purposes.
Framed glasses [broken part: the glasses]
A wrench
A round doorknob
I forgot I had my keys in my pocket so I grabbed the wrench from my garage and smashed doorknob. It flew apart.... The rebound also destroyed my glasses......
A TV
A bra
A bloodied knife
A TV
A bra
A bloodied knife
"Wanted to sell the TV to the electrical appliance store, but I was attacked by a masked lady after packing my car with the TV. It might be that the attacker lacks experience with using weaponry, the lady cut her arm with her own knife after some struggle with her for a while. I caught the slim chance and snatched her bra as an evidence for further reports. She escaped but carelessly left the knife, and so I picked it up too as another evidence. However after some thoughts I decided to let her go anyway, nobody is perfect and everyone will definitely blunder at least once in the lifetime. Had the appointment with the store manager by the way so could I excuse myself now?"
For the next person, in the back of your car, there are:
For the next person, in the back of your car, there are:
- Filter papers
- Crates of cocaine
- Dead sparrow
"What do you mean that's cocaine? Shit, man, they told me it was flour, I need an absolute ton of the stuff. That's screwed up my whole day. What do you mean, 'why?', I'm baking all the damn cupcake for my dumbass sister's baby shower. I don't even like kids. Goddammit. The papers are for my disgusting nicotine habit, which last time I checked wasn't illegal on my own property and the mice are my beloved pets, the neighbour's cat fucking demolished them and I'm on my way to get them cremated. Yes, with the flour, what I'm not allowed to multitask? Do you have any idea how stressed I am? You are not helping. Go away."
>An extremely realistic prop severed-hand
>A photo album full of pictures of your ex with his/her face cut out or defaced
>A satirical self-help book entitled "Get over him with Satanism!" which, like all good satire, isn't obviously satirical at first glance
Edit: Dammit while I was typing you changed the third object from mice to sparrow D: how cud u do dis 2 me
>An extremely realistic prop severed-hand
>A photo album full of pictures of your ex with his/her face cut out or defaced
>A satirical self-help book entitled "Get over him with Satanism!" which, like all good satire, isn't obviously satirical at first glance
Edit: Dammit while I was typing you changed the third object from mice to sparrow D: how cud u do dis 2 me
Officer,I can explain! The book is my prized possession,and I am using it to write things in that you normally don't see. My car is yes,old,but I love it,so don't crash it. Also,my brother Sam is innocent.
Winchester demon hunting book
Keys to car
Fake ID
Winchester demon hunting book
Keys to car
Fake ID
"I was bringing the these items to my wife and this fake I.D. is just a decoration for our bedroom"
A Box filled with O- blood
Police uniform
A police bage
A Box filled with O- blood
Police uniform
A police bage
I am an undercover police officer and I am pursuing a secret mission that I can't tell anyone about. The blood has to do with it.
A bloody axe.
A tied up bag.
A mask
A bloody axe.
A tied up bag.
A mask
"Oh, this stuff? I'm part of the production cast for a play that takes place in the woods. The axe is for the main antagonist, since he's playing the part of a menacing serial killer that the multiple protagonists have to deduce the identity of. The tied up bag is for one of the main characters, as the setting is during Christmas and the character is dressing up as Santa Claus. The mask is for the secondary antagonist, who serves as a spy within the main cast. I'm sorry for any possible confusion that I may have caused."
Blood-stained hands
A foul odor emanating from your body
A fingerprint that matches your own at a controversial crime scene
Blood-stained hands
A foul odor emanating from your body
A fingerprint that matches your own at a controversial crime scene